Three Grimoires

        I was going to make a wizard school for each traditional school of D&D magic (Abjuration, Conjuration, Divination, Enchantment, Evocation, Illusion, Necromancy, Transmutation), but I couldn't think of that many Divination spells, or Evocation spells, or Illusion spells... or Transmutation spells... or Necromancy spells, for that matter...

    Anyway, here's three sets of spells for the three schools I could find cool spells for. Most of these are obviously classic D&D spells.

ABJURATION

Line in the Sand
R: touch T: a willing, armed creature D: indefinite
The caster draws a holy sign on the target and their melee weapon, then holds up their hands and begins praying aloud. The spell ends when they lower their hands or stop praying (it is usually impossible to cast other spells while waving your hands in the air and praying aloud). For the duration, the target of this spell projects a circular red shadow on the ground describing their weapon's reach. The target may immediately attack any creatures that step on the shadow, with bonus to-hit and damage equal to [dice].

Circle of Sanctuary
R: touch T: a valid sacred object D: [sum] hours
The caster draws a holy sign on the target. A line of light describes a circular perimeter around the target in a 100' radius. For the duration, creatures with hostile intent cannot cross the perimeter or attack a target within the perimeter without passing [dice] saves vs. fear. Creatures inside the perimeter who attack a creature outside the perimeter make [dice] saves; they take [sum] damage if they fail any of them, and are ejected from the Circle of Sanctuary at 120km/h. Demons, devils, elfs, fairies and Outsiders treat the perimeter like a wall of impermeable and opaque stone and can enter under no circumstances.
"Valid sacred objects" are most typically altars in temples, though they may be the bodies of fallen kings, small woodland shrines, or (in extremis) a patch of earth anointed with the prayers and a small amount of the blood of those it would protect.

Dispel
R: touch T: an enchanted person, place or thing D: instant
Lightning wreathes the caster's hand as they touch the target. Target's magic is undone if it was cast with [dice] MD or fewer. Attempting to dispel a magic stronger than the Dispel always fails, and the caster takes [dice] damage, no save.
If cast on a magical item, some will be destroyed, others rendered mundane, and some may regain their power as time passes or on certain events, depending on the strength of the artifact.

Counter Spell
R: sight T: a caster as he casts D: split-second
Caster raises their hand and speaks a word of power. The spell being cast by the target has its effective [dice] and [sum] reduced by [dice] and [sum], respectively. If both are reduced to below 0, the spell rebounds against the target.

Wizard Armor
R: self T: self D: [sum] hours
Caster dons an invisible suit of armor. For the duration, their AC is improved by two points per [die]. The armor is made of magical force, and so doesn't impede the caster or pull them down in water.

Hand of Peace
R: n/a T: a [dice]*60' cone, originating from the caster D: split-second
The caster holds up a hand and projects a circular, invisible, indestructible forcefield 12" in diameter. All magical projectiles in the target area violently fling themselves against the forcefield and are vaporized. All non-magical projectiles in the target area do the same, unless in the quiver of a creature who passes a save to protect them. Melee weapon attacks against the caster are made at [sum] penalty for one round; weapons that miss because of this penalty violently fling themselves against the forcefield and are vaporized.

Protection from Harm
R: touch T: a willing creature D: [dice] hours or until discharged
The caster draws a holy sign on the target's brow. Target gains a pool of [sum] temporary hitpoints, which absorb damage from up to [dice] sources of the caster's choice:

• Impacts (blunt weapons, falls, falling rocks)
• Perforations (bullets, arrows, punji pits)
• Edges (swords, claws, spinning blades)
• Blasts (dynamite, fireballs, cavedamp)
• Energies (fire, lightning, magic)
• Ghosts

Common Courtesy
R: sight T: a contiguous area up to [dice]*500' square D: variable
The caster must walk through the area as they cast this spell, reciting ancient words of warding and alarum. They may choose [dice] of the following effects:

• Sound cannot pass from within the area to without. Creatures inside the warded area can still hear sounds from without.
• The perimeter of the warded area is obscured by a 20' high wall of silver fog. Creatures inside the warded area can see through this fog.
• Doors and windows are tightly sealed, and can only be opened with a DC20 MOVE check.
• Corridors are filled with a dizzying, choking smoke. Creatures who pass through these corridors must save or become turned around and return out the way they came.
• Up to [dice] magical lights appear in designated areas. These lights shine brightly, and turn blood-red in the presence of enchantments and illusion.
• Up to [dice] magical mouths appear in designated areas. These mouths speak messages of up to 25 words upon perceiving a designated trigger.
• If a creature larger than a mouse crosses the perimeter, a loud chime sounds throughout the area.
• If a creature larger than a mouse crossed the perimeter, the caster receives a psychic premonition, which awakes them if they are sleeping.
• Scrying the warded area or a target within the area reveals only dark, ominous shadows.
• Fire does not burn within the warded area.

As they cast this spell, the caster may designate any number of creatures in their immediate presence to be immune to any or all of these effects, or choose a password which if spoken aloud renders a creature immune to any or all of these effects. The spell lasts for [sum] minutes at one MD, hours at two MD, days at three or weeks at four. If continually cast on the same area for a year, the spell becomes permanent.

Ritual Cleansing
R: touch T: various D: various
The caster scribes signs on or above the target(s) while reciting ancient words of blessing and dedication. If cast on up to [sum] small flasks of water, they become holy water, which will burn the undead and unholy like fire for [dice] rounds. If cast on up to [sum] creatures as the caster draws holy symbols on their brow, they are purified, gaining a [dice] bonus to checks, saves and morale until the next dawn. If cast on a corpse, the body is preserved for [sum] days during which time it does not decay and cannot become undead. If cast on two adults while touching one with each hand simultaneously, they are wedded, no save; effects vary.

Trackless and Traceless
R: touch T: up to [dice] creatures D [sum] hours.
The caster touches the brow of each target and recites ancient lines of safety, deception and strange belief. For the duration, the targets leave no footprints, make no sound on gravel or other noisy surfaces, pass over harsh terrain as if it were level highway, gain a +10 bonus to stealth checks, and cannot be grappled.

Banish
R: shouting distance T: a creature of up to [dice] HD D: instant
The caster levels an accusing finger and pronounces the sentence of banishment. Target saves. If they fail, they throw down their arms and flee until they are certain the caster and the caster's allies cannot reach them.
If the target is not native to this plane, they may be Banished whatever their HD, and must pass [dice] saves. Upon failing any of them they return to their home plane.

Bind
R: shouting distance T: a creature not of this world D: [worst] hours
For the duration, the caster dances around the target reciting ancient lines of domination and enslavement. The target, and anyone else, is free to try to interrupt the caster as they do so. At the end of each hour the caster must check constitution or become overwhelmed with supernatural weariness and fall asleep.
If the caster completes the spell without interruption, the target is bound to their will for a year and a day. The target will obey all commands, though if this is not in their nature they may follow the exact wording to the worst of their abilities.

CONJURATION

Unseen Servant
R: 15' T: a volume 10' high with a 5' square base D: indefinite while MD are invested
Caster summons an invisible, intangible force into the target space. This force has 1 HP and is immune to everything except magic and lightning bolts. It can lift and move objects inside itself very slowly and gingerly. It lacks the motive force to cause damage with impact alone, and it would lose a tug-of-war with a toddler, but it might be able to tip a bottle of poison into a cup or pull the trigger of a shotgun trap. The invisible force obeys the caster absolutely, and can perform simple and repetitive tasks about as well as a highly intelligent parrot could. If necessary, the force can move at a pace of about 1' per second, carrying a maximum of [dice] slots of inventory as it goes. The unseen servant dissipates when the caster dismisses it or when it moves more than 120' from the caster.
The unseen servant perceives everything inside its space. It can copy books extremely quickly, and can take dictation (though it's a bit shit at it). It would be an excellent housebreaker, but it doesn't know how to do that, so it's more like an excellent lockpick (and that only while the caster is directing it).

Mark/Recall
R: n/a T: see description D: permanent/one round
Caster gives it a moment of thought, and permanently marks their exact current position in their mind. They may later return to that point with one round of shouting, focusing and finger-waggling. If the Mark component was cast with 1 [die], the Recall must also be cast with 1 [die]; in this way, the caster may have several Marks, each coded to a separate quantity of MD. Marks can be re-cast at any time. The caster can bring exactly 1 sack of inventory with them — either their personal equipment, or a second person if both they and the caster are buck naked.

Polyscatter
R: sight T: [sum] slots of inventory and HPs worth of creature D: instant
Caster claps their hands then strikes an expansive pose. Targets appear at random positions within [dice] miles. Unwilling creatures get a save. If the [sum] didn't cover all of a creature's HP, they instead take damage equal to the portion of [sum] allotted to them as random particles of them get teleported off and lost in the Astral Plane. A set of clothing is 2 slots.

Flaming Sphere
R: 120' T: an unoccupied sphere 5' in diameter D: ten minutes of concentration
The caster snaps their fingers, and a great raging ball of fire, a sphere of 5' diameter, appears in the target space. On the caster's turn in combat they may verbally command the ball to move to another point up to 30' feet away. The ball rolls across obstacles shorter than itself, and may leap gaps up to ten feet wide. It navigates spaces about as well as a morbidly obese flaming dog. It has excellent hearing, but no sense of smell.
Creatures who are struck by the ball, or who end their turn within 5' of the ball, must [save] or take [sum] damage. The ball is physically weak and has a consistency like cotton soaked in kerosene, so can only really hurt creatures or damage the environment with its heat alone. It is doused promptly if dropped in water, and burns to nothing at the end of the duration.

Grasping Hand
R: 120' T: an unoccupied space 5' in radius D: [dice] minutes
Caster holds out their hand and focuses on the target space for the duration, causing a shimmering hand of moon-silver to materialize. The hand has 20 AC and [sum] HP. Each turn, in lieu of attacking or moving, the caster may move the hand up to sixty feet. As part of this movement, the hand may ball up and strike, open and shove, or claw and grasp. The hand strikes as an attack based on the caster's INT mod, dealing [dice]+[INT mod] damage, and shoves/grasps as an opposed grapple check, using the caster's INT instead of STR. The hand may also lift and carry [dice] inventory slots of items, open and close doors, pull levers, cut ropes, or anything else a big scary glowing metal hand could do. Experienced Conjurers can "swing" from the hand as if it were a grappling hook or "slide down" as if it were a fire-pole with a successful SKLL check.

Hound of the Far Stars
R: 30' T: unoccupied space large enough for a horse D: 8 hours
Caster waves their hand and summons forth a sidereal watchdog of [dice] HD and [sum] HP. These creatures have four backwards legs which end in six-figured hands, 18 AC pelts of silver hair, and three heads. One head is capable of "barking" like a sounding brass, one head is capable of twittering and whistling like a bird, and one head has a crocodile maw that bites like a heavy weapon +[dice]. They understand "sit", "heel", "keep watch", "sic 'em" and "help help help!" in all languages. Sidereal watchdogs are slavishly, suicidally loyal to their summoner and will ferociously attack any creature they perceive as a threat. They can carry up to 4 sacks while running like a greyhound and climbing like a monkey. When slain, sidereal watchdogs dissolve into silvery mist.

Sumptuous Meal
R: 20' T: tables or surfaces suitable to bear fine china D: up to [sum] minutes
Before this spell can be cast the caster must ensure that the area where food will be served is clean, comfortable and well lit. In a dungeon environment, this may involve sweeping floors, dusting furniture and setting up several lamps. Over the duration the caster sings, dances, jumps, claps, tells jokes, and generally attempts to amuse the spirits of good fortune and plenty. While they do this, the spirits prepare and produce [dice] rations of fairy food every minute. When the spell is over the feast may begin. The food (served on gem-studded dishes with aluminum cutlery) is filling, fresh, steaming hot (or freezing cold as appropriate) and delicious enough to heal every eater [dice] HP. Eating more than your share of the food may anger the spirits (roll reaction, trying to get 8 or better), and attempting to nick some for later always does. The spirits curse buffoons and greedy-guts with a hitpoint malus equal to [dice], healing at a rate of 1/day as with other such maluses. Particularly large and boisterous barbarians, orcs, growing boys &c may be able to avoid the penalty. Regardless, after an hour the food and all the dishes disappear.

Evil Star
R: n/a T: a sphere [dice]*10' in diameter, one pole touching caster's palm D: [sum] rounds
This is an old, old spell, taught to the College of Conjuremen many centuries ago by a friendly-but-hungry native of the outer darkness. When the caster raises their hand and speaks a word of power, impenetrable shadow fills the target volume. This is not a natural darkness, or even the oppressive "true dark" of the deep underworld, but a void flowing from the space between stars: light sources are snuffed, magical lights dispelled, powerful magical lights violently dispelled, and creatures without infravision completely blinded. Things in the darkness take [dice] cold damage every turn from exposure, and a further [dice] acid damage from being licked by long wet tongues in the blackness. Creatures who die in the darkness are consumed and are never seen again. Furniture is totally ruined. The caster may move while holding up the sphere.

Alien Terrain
R: sight T: up to [sum] 5' squares of terrain D: permanent
Target terrain grows into a thick and horrible jungle of toxic plants and sharp spines, which are 20' high and block vision and ranged attacks. Passing through the alien terrain on foot requires a STR check for each 5' square navigated; on a failure, the creature attempting to force passage is trapped and entangled and can move no further that round. Entangled creatures with exposed flesh take [dice] poison damage when they end their turn in the alien terrain. A human armed with a machete and a torch can clear one 5' square of alien terrain in one minute. The soil of our world cannot sustain the plants and they will wither and die on their own within a few weeks.

Air Bubble
R: 30' T: head or object not much bigger than a breadbox D: [sum] hours
Up to [dice] targets are surrounded by a sturdy bubble of fresh air at sea-level pressure. This bubble keeps out water and poison gas and keeps in air pressure during exposure to vacuum. The air remains magically fresh for the duration of the spell. Water-breathing creatures take must SAVE or take [sum] damage as they fight their way free of the bubble.

Wormhole
R: 30' T: unoccupied sphere of sufficient size D: one minute
Before this spell can be cast the conjuror must procure a flawless, fist-sized diamond, which is the focus of the magic. The caster claps their hands around the gem and spreads their arms wide, causing the diamond to fly to the center of the target volume and open into a spherical wormhole up to [dice]*5' in diameter. This wormhole can lead to any point on any plane which you have ever seen, or that you know of in extreme detail. Passage through the wormhole is instantaneous. If you wish, you may instead speak the true name of an individual as you cast this spell; the other end of the wormhole opens on top of them, and they fall through to your end if they're small enough to fit. This conjuring does not, in and of itself, engender strong feelings of fraternal love in them. Planar lords are immediately aware if you attempt to reach their domain with this spell, and may counter it without effort. The wormhole collapses at the end of the duration and the diamond falls to the ground; objects and body-parts halfway through the wormhole are neatly severed.

Wish
R: n/a T: n/a D: n/a
The greatest of all spells, single-handedly marking Conjuration as the queen of the arcana. When cast, you may Wish to mimic any other spell in existence, with effects of [dice]+1 and [sum]*2. You may Wish to produce an object which could have been made by [sum] master craftsmen working for a year and a day. You may Wish to fully heal, restore, purify, replace limbs of, cure, repair and remedy up to [sum] humanoids, or have a commensurate effect on other powerful creatures. You may Wish to undo up to [dice] rounds of time. You may Wish to undo a doom in a creature, including yourself. You may Wish to obtain [sum] more years of healthy life.
If you wish (heh), you may instead choose to Wish for a god to act in some way to achieve some effect more far-reaching and complex than those previously ennumerated. You may not choose exactly how the god accomplishes the task, so it may be wise to establish a good working relationship beforehand, or else risk seeing the Wish distorted in some way.
When you cast Wish you accrue a special wish-casting doom. Each wish-casting doom permanently reduces your HP by 6, and these missing hitpoints are never regained (except by another creature's Wish). If this reduction would leave your max hitpoints at some number below 0, you vanish from existence as soon as your wish has been fulfilled.

ENCHANTMENT

I couldn't find a guy that really said "enchanter", you know. Here's some generic wizard.

Vicious Mockery
R: hearing T: a creature who understands your words D: instant
Caster spouts a series of horrible insults and calumny against the target, the target's morals, the target's heritage, &c. This deals [best] psychic damage. If not in combat the target makes an immediate reaction roll with a penalty equal to [dice], possibly provoking a duel or brawl. If the player can think of a particularly funny, cutting and target-appropriate insult, the DM may rule that the target instead makes a morale check with a penalty equal to [dice], fleeing in tears if failed.

Lesser Power Word
R: hearing T: a creature who understands your words D: [dice] rounds
Caster speaks a word of power, and the target saves or obeys for the duration. The traditional words of power are translated as COME (target approaches by the quickest safe path, and waits by the caster), RELINQUISH (target drops their equipment, and does not attempt to retrieve it), FLY (target flees in terror), GROVEL (target falls to their knees, and bows to the caster), HALT (target stops moving, and takes no action), and SUFFER (target screams and writhes as if in extreme pain, and ends any magical concentration). The effect ends early if the target is attacked by the caster or takes damage from any source.

Champion
R: touch T: a creature D: one minute
Caster touches the brow of the target, which may be themselves. They gain [sum] temporary hitpoints for the duration, do not roll morale, and automatically succeed saves v. fear.

Stupefy
R: 10' T: a creature D: ten minutes
Caster surreptitiously gestures at the target, who becomes noticeably more stupider for the duration. For the duration, the target checks intelligence to disbelieve all but the most obvious lies, automatically fails checks to accomplish complex tasks, mishaps on all spell casts, fails all initiative rolls, and has a [dice]-in-6 chance to offend those they talk to.

Pedagoguery
R: self T: self D: up to [sum] minutes
Caster begins a longwinded, self-aggrandizing yet oddly hypnotic speech. Non-hostile creatures who hear and can understand this speech stop what they're doing to listen. Creatures who consider the caster to be a bastard, idiot, liar or petty criminal may save to avoid this effect. After the speech ends, creatures come away with [dice] simple concepts of the caster's choosing which they are now pretty sure are true, or at least valuable, insights about the world. Creatures who consider the caster to be a bastard, idiot &c do not fall under this effect.

Anointing
R: touch T: a weapon D: [best] successful attacks
Before this spell can be cast the enchanter must procure a slot of valuable oils and perfumes. As they anoint the target weapon in a ten-minute series of rituals, they intone prayers of victory and glory. The weapon then has bonus +[dice] damage and to-hit for the duration of the spell.

Confusing Gaze
R: self T: self D: [sum] rounds
Caster projects lunacy, chaos, and a sickly green glow from their eyes for the duration. Creatures may choose to look away, rendering the caster effectively invisible to them for the duration. Creatures who look at the caster at any point save. If they fail, they roll [dice]d8 on the following table and perform the result each round until the spell ends:

1. Scream nonsense aloud in their native language
2. Close their eyes firmly and squeal
3. Dive to the ground and bury their face in the dirt
4. Drop whatever they're holding, sharply
5. Dart 20' in a random direction
6. Make an attack against a random creature in reach
7. Attempt to eat the most palatable object within reach
8. Spin around until dizzy

Because of the frantic energy granted by the confusion, affected creatures can perform more actions on their turn than usual.

Fairy Silver
R: touch T: up to [sum] slots of items D: one week
Caster looks around, suspicious like, and rubs the target items on their sleeve or hem. Creatures of [dice] HD or fewer, other than the caster, incorrectly perceive the items to be masterworks, solid silver, particularly fine examples of their kind, collectible, or otherwise worth 10x their actual value. More powerful creatures may save v. charm to avoid this effect. Creatures who pass the save, and any affected creatures at the end of the duration, then correctly perceive that they have been duped by some fucking wizard.

Power Word: Kill
R: hearing T: a creature who understands your words D: instant
Caster speaks a word of power, traditionally translated as DIE. Targets with fewer than [dice]*6 HP die. Otherwise they take [sum] damage, save for half.

Geas
R: hearing, T: a creature who understands your words D: indefinite, or [sum] days
Caster speaks a word of power, traditionally translated as FULFILL. This places a magical command upon the target to carry out some service, or to refrain from some action or course of activity, as desired by the spellcaster. The geas may not compel a creature to kill itself or place itself on a path to certain death, but there are no other limitations. If after [sum] days the creature genuinely believes the task, as put to it exactly, cannot be completed by them, the geas ends. Strongwilled creatures or creatures with more HD than [dice] may resist this geas; each day they do so inflicts 1 point of damage to each of their stats, and this damage does not heal until they return to the task.

A Rough Sort (Trio of GLOG Classes)

    Got a couple of classes rattling around in my brain. Thought I'd publish them here, so at least someone might get use out of them.

"Chocolate"! AI generated, with a watermark from some sleazebaggianos... and yet, still "chocolate".

    The Thieves World series consisted of sword-and-sorcery anthologies of stories written by some of the most influential fantasists of the 70s and 80s (including the never-more-than-just-out-of-frame Marion Zimmer Bradley). They were mostly pretty terrible books, containing mostly pretty terrible stories — at best, they reach the height of "pastiches of Robert E. Howard and Clark Ashton Smith" and at the worst they're about the unshakeable love between an author-insert and a prepubescent. I've read the first two out of twelve collections, and there have already been 3 or 4 stories where a man infiltrates a wizard's house by sneaking in through the hidden escape route backwards (like in Rogues in the House, January 1934, a story worth reading). But I take real joy in crummy, crime-ridden fantasy cities, and because my current weekly game has taken the party to one (and stuck them there for a good while) I've been scaring up brain-fodder.

    The connections between Thieves World and 1980s fantasy tabletop gaming is obvious, worth discussing, and has been discussed elsewhere in long essays and shit. Go read those if you're interested; I'm only here to post some classes.

    I suppose I have one thought to share with you, a bit of Theory before the content. A common thread in the GLOG is the idea that the class is the primary medium by which the player understands the world. Vivanter has a post about class selection as the way players signal what kind of game they want to play. I couldn't find this post in time for publishing, but I've read some good posts (possibly from Grognardia?) about how Jack Vance and other sword-and-sorcery authors used throw-away references to strange peoples, secret cults and far-off lands to good effect, giving the impression that their worlds were much broader and deeper than they probably were.
    Here's that thought I promised you, reader: you don't need to write any "lore" or "setting info". You don't need a timeline, and you hardly ever need a map (unless the map is cool). The classes can speak for themselves. In Thieves World each new weird guy — Shadowspawn the witch-blood burglar; Tempus the murderously sociopathic avatar to a host of gods; Lythande the magical pedophile (written by Marion Zimmer Bradley); many more — expands and deepens the setting exponentially. Just come up with good ideas! That's all you need!

    "Nobody knows how big Sanctuary [the city which the stories are set in] really is. Anytime any one of us needs a secret meeting place we just create one – Sanctuary is either very large or very cramped." - Lynn Abbey, author, co-editor of Thieves World

Wizard School: Three Primes

    When several factors beloved by the Lord of the Three Primes align in the life of a soon-to-be acolyte (among them the loss of all family ties, a certain bloodless interest in the human body, and a talent for dark magic), then the Black Book of Sal-Carrion may appear to them, bound in soft, creamy hide, lettered in red ink. Its secrets are cruel, and difficult to believe — but if you have the inclination, surely it wouldn't be so hard to disprove them.

Perk: By your education, dress and manner of speech you are recognized as a gentleman-medico. You're permitted to enter places that are usually forbidden to wizards, adventurers, or common surgeons. Highly-placed people trust your judgment, and seek your advice in emergencies. 
Drawback: Peasants and children makes a reaction check when they realize what you are. They may attempt to ward you off with an apple. 
Cantrips: 

1. Once per disease you are infected with, you may attempt to pass it to another person who fails a save.
2. When you spill blood, you may choose to have it disappear before it touches the ground.
3. Given a bird and a windup toy, you may make one windup bird with 10 minutes of work.

Spells:

1. Abstemious Supply
   R: touch T: see description D: permanent
   The caster passes their hand over a target not produced or previously affected by this spell, revealing [best] extra doses, portions or slots of...
   1MD: any food or drink...
   2MD: or poison or drug...
   3MD: or potion or magical ingredient...
   4MD: or small creature or object. 
2. Dirty Needle
   R: self T: n/a D: [dice] hits
   Caster draws a light epee +1 from thin air, and gains proficiency in such weapons for the duration. Those struck by the blade save v. disease or contract one of the following at random: blinding sickness, bubonic plague, cackle fever, filth fever, leprosy, mindfire, red ache, shakes, or slimy doom.
3. Ant Haul
   R: touch T: creature D: [sum] hours.
   [dice] copies of the creature appear. They follow the original in a long line, mimicking its actions, and carrying its burdens.  If slain, or at the end of the duration, the copies curl up into a dry little ball. Each corpse may be boiled into 1 ration of unpleasant soup.
4. Carrion Compass
   R: touch T: corpse or undead creature of [dice] HD or fewer D: [sum] miles
   Caster touches a part of the target, traditionally an organ or bone, and it begins to levitate. If the target was a corpse, their piece begins to slowly levitate towards the person they would most blame for their death (if murdered, this is typically their killer). If the target is an undead, their piece begins to slowly levitate towards its controller; if they had no controller, the piece levitates towards their resurrector; if raised as undead by some curséd tomb or battlefield or artifact instead of a necromancer, the piece levitates towards some curséd tomb or battlefield or artifact; if none of these things are the case, or if they were the case but the controller/resurrector/curséd tomb has been slain or destroyed, the piece burns to ash. 
5. Face of the Devourer
   R: touch T: creature D: [sum] minutes
   Target's face gains a hideous new shape, such as a half-melted visage with insect legs instead of teeth, seeping pits instead of eyes, and suckered tongues dangling from its misshapen mouth. The face is different every time this spell is cast. This spell does not interfere with the target’s senses or breathing, though it might prevent the target from speaking. The face is so horrible that it triggers a morale check with a [dice] penalty in any creature who looks upon it, including the target if they glance in the mirror. When dealing with outsiders, the face instead grants a reaction bonus equal to [dice]. Additionally, the target gains a medium bite attack for the duration.
6. Know the Enemy
   R: sight T: creature of [sum] HP or fewer D: instant
   Choose a target within range. Learn [dice] relevant facts about them (of the kind appropriate for Assassins, Monster Hunters or Gumshoes) instantly.
7. Furious Rat
   R: n/a T: n/a D: see description
   Caster summons a rat with [sum] hitpoints and [dice] levels in Berserker to their hand. Once the rat is flung, it's go time.
8. Placebo Effect
   R: touch T: damaged or sick creature D: one day
   Caster mutters some mumbo-jumbo and target "heals" up to [sum] hitpoints and [dice] injuries, fatal wounds or diseases. All damage the target takes is doubled for the duration of the spell, or until they have received a total of [sum] damage (before doubling). Every time the target takes damage, a random injury, fatal wound or disease reasserts itself. 
9. Woundweep
   R: 30' T: damaged creature D: instant
   Target saves or takes as much damage as they are already missing from their max HP (e.g. a creature at 6/9 hitpoints is now at 3/9 hitpoints). This process is excruciating. The damage cannot directly kill the target, but if it reduces them to 0 hitpoints they must check constitution or fall unconscious from the pain, and if they have sustained any injuries they must again check constitution or suffer that injury a second time.
10. Retained Foreign Object
    R: touch T: living creature D: indefinite
    Before casting this spell, the caster must carefully open an incision in the target's torso... actually, it need not be that careful, any gaping wound will do, but casters with medical backgrounds can do this without damaging the patient. An object of up to [dice] inventory slots can then be inserted into the target's torso. Objects can be immediately and harmlessly retrieved by casting Retained Foreign Object again with [dice] equal to or greater than the desired object's slots. Objects can be slowly and painfully retrieved the old fashioned way as well. Targets cannot retain more than [CON score] inventory slots of foreign objects.
11. Sedition
    R: n/a T: 30' cone, originating from caster D: [sum] days
    Caster points a finger and utters a word of power, and a flash of unseemly light radiates throughout the target cone. Intelligent creatures of [dice] HD or fewer caught within the light must save or be filled with an overwhelming death-drive, in the form of a hostile persona in their own minds. This new persona is a creature with the same memories, stats, class &c as its host, but diametrically opposed morality and worldview, and an irrational hatred of those the original persona considered allies. Control over the body (which the old and new persona must share, as neither is able to destroy the other without also destroying themselves) is determined by rolling 1d6: on a result of 1–4, the persona currently controlling the body maintains control. Control is checked when Sedition is cast, when affected creatures take damage, and when affected creatures wake from sleep. Whichever persona is not in control at the end of the duration disappears, though further casts of Sedition will reawaken them.
12. Waste Vitality
    R: sight T: entity with magic dice D: instant
    Caster focuses their will for a moment to roll [dice] of the target's MD, expending them as normal. When this happens, target must check intelligence or also cast a random prepared spell in a not-entirely-controlled manner.

Mishaps:

1. MD only return on a 1–2 for 24 hours.
2. Take 1d6 damage as stitches tear.
3. Random mutation for 1d6 rounds, then make a save. Permanent if you fail.
4. You develop a sudden and uncharacteristic fear of blood. For 24 hours, seeing blood spilled requires you to check constitution or spend a round vomiting.
5. Every edge within 10' of you dulls blunt as butter. Affected tools, weapons and ammunition suffer a -2 penalty to all actions (checks, attacks, damage rolls &c) until reground.
6. You develop strange symptoms of horrific medical experimentation. Save: on a failure take 1d6 damage and describe the gnarly and intimidating scar/condition/big metal bolts in your neck. On a success, take no damage and describe a more understated scar.

Dooms of Sal-Carrion:

1. As payment, your master takes your ability to recognize individuals by their appearance. Marks of position or role (crowns, collars, robes) can still be perceived, but you are entirely faceblind, to the point of being unable to distinguish an elf from an orc or a small child from a shrunken elder. It may be best to have a trusted set of friends (say, fellow adventurers) carry your letters to NPCs rather than meet them in person.
2. As payment, your master takes your face. The exposed skullbone gets very chilly without a good scarf.
3. As payment, your master takes your eyes, tongue, ears, both legs, and right hand. It's time to retire to a quiet university somewhere and write monographs.

You can avoid this horrible fate by creating a new biological species, by traveling secretly to Sal-Carrion and editing the Lord of Three Prime's own double-entry accounts, or by convincing someone who truly loves you to willingly give up their face, eyes, tongue, ears, both legs and right hand for your sake.

Barbarian: Cloudskater

    Tall, thin, broad-browed, blue-eyed strangers come migrating in silk-tented hordes every few years. You don't see them much before dusk. They'll do most things for pay. They're barbarians, of course, but not the common kind, if common kinds there be. 

Skills: 1. Love songs 2. Siege engines 3. Armory maintenance

Starting Equipment: boltcutters (as medium, but must be used in two hands), blue lantern, crescent harp, silver medallion

• A Little Shadow
• B Close Encounter
• C Memory of Drums
• D Round Worlder

Little Shadow
    Your wear a silver medallion around your neck, which is a token of the Moon's love for you and of the protection she has granted your people. So long as you never show this token to her jealous lover, the Sun, your jump distance is trebled and you take only 1d6 points of damage for every complete 30' you fall. Should you fail to conceal the token, by mistake or malice, you lose this benefit and gain the ire of the Sun. His light will burn you like fire. This continues until you create or obtain a replacement token made from at least 1 slot of silver that has never been touched by sunlight. 

    While you are raging, your jump distance increases by a factor of 10, and you take 1d6 points of damage for every complete 100' you fall. Additionally, you may only fall 100' per round. 

Close Encounter

    You can spend a point of Rage to cause a willing person, or a roughly person-sized object, to rise into the sky on a beam of light. It is trivial to move out of the way of the light, so unwilling persons must first be pacified. Later, you can spend a point of Rage to cause that person or object to descend from the sky in the same manner. 9-in-10 that the same one comes down as went up. 4-in-6 odds nothing really weird has happened. 

Memory of Drums
    Every night you dream of war in heaven. Your visions are of ships of blue glass rigged with silver wire and morning mist, swords that burn, warriors slain without a touch by air too cold to breathe, bows and lances of light, starry horns blowing silent signals, and other beautiful things no one else can understand. In your waking hours you possess a sourceless knowledge of how to build, maintain and use inexplicable devices.

    Each inexplicable device has a cost in materials (listed generically, generally available in a city or a relevant workshop) and in sourceless knowledge. You have 1 point of sourceless knowledge per level. Every time you sleep, you may reinvest and redistribute any amount of sourceless knowledge, though your devices will quickly fail without your constant upkeep. 

Inexplicable Devices:

1. Lightning Sling.
   Cost: 10x polearm, 1 sourceless knowledge.
   This inexplicable device resembles a bident with a crescent-shaped buttspike and two toothed blades, each canted about 30° off from where a single blade would be. A cumbersome massive weapon, capable of devastating scything blows, with significant reach. If held from the bottom with one hand in the crescent, the Sling may project a 20' thunderbolt that catches metallic objects and either violently pulls or explosively pushes them. May be used to grapple with armored targets at range, or to pick up medium or heavy swords (or other all-metal weapons and objects) and fling them 60'. 
2. Lamplighting Knife.
   Cost: 10x sword, 1 sourceless knowledge.
   This inexplicable device resembles a rainmaker with a textured rubber exterior, about ten inches long and an inch in diameter. It rattles pleasantly when shook because it is full of lead pellets. When sharply flicked, as if getting blood off a sword, a 24" baton of liquid lead extends from one end of the device. This baton remains for one minute, and then automatically retracts and cannot be reactivated for an hour. Used as a weapon, this is a light club +2, and deals an additional 1d8 fire damage to creatures who aren't very heavily insulated. Mind the spatter.
   
3. Reflective Stonebow.
   Cost: 10x crossbow for the weapon, 10x arrows for the ammunition, 2 sourceless knowledge.
   This inexplicable device resembles a heavy fiddle of some polished marble-like material, with long darts of black metal. When the darts are drawn across one or more of the weapon's four steel strings, they are launched with varying effects to a range of about 330'. You know how to produce the following effects, though others may be possible:
• Slaying. All of the dart except its head burn up in flight. It inflicts 2d6 damage to one target. 
• Frangible. The dart disintegrates into a cloud of shrapnel. It inflicts 1d10 damage in a 10' radius sphere, save for half.
• Freeze Missile. Struck target saves or is rendered immobile for 1d6 rounds.
• Marking. Dart burns to nothing in flight, leaving a trail of randomly-colored thick smoke that lingers for ten minutes. 
4. Ascetic Shield.
   Cost : 10x shield, 2 sourceless knowledge.
   This inexplicable device resembles a flat disc of almost-transparent sky-blue glass, about 4' in diameter. When attached to your arm (donning or doffing the shield takes half an hour), it grants you a +4 bonus to AC. When held over your head, it can bear about 800 pounds of weight comfortably without slowing or fatiguing you, so long as your arm is raised. If carrying more than 800 pounds, the shield violently explodes.
5. Horned Helmet.
   Cost: as plate, 3 sourceless knowledge.
   This inexplicable device resembles a black glass sallet with long feathery antennae like a moth's. When wearing this helmet, you may broadcast thoughts to targets within 330' whose names you know. If you are struck with a critical hit while wearing it, the helmet peacefully explodes, and all creatures within 3280' besides yourself take 1d12 psychic damage. 
6. Hippoere Lectern.
   Cost: 10x horse, 2 sourceless knowledge.
   This inexplicable device resembles those gizmos the Battle Droids are flying around on chasing Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace. It moves faster than a horse, and hovers 3' off the ground while in motion, but if [rider's Constitution score] + [number of occupied slots in rider's inventory, excepting chi] ever equals 21 or higher, the lectern violently explodes.

Round Worlder

    While raging, your personal gravity changes to the direction your feet are pointing at the start of each round. 

Rogue: Ratbastard

    In far-away cities your kind is often born, even in the best families. In this cold and dry foreign land you are practically unheard of. Suits you just fine. 

    A Ratbastard is like a Hellbastard, but with oily black rats instead of ink. Your kind seems to fall, inevitably, into a life of crime. It makes sense, I suppose; your blood is so much thicker than water. 

    You are a Rogue, with all that that implies. 

Skills: 1. Horsery 2. Foreign literature 3. Lies

Starting Equipment: set of ridiculous clothes, sword with two blades (medium), flask of cheese-flavored liquor (3 doses)

• A Still a Rat, However Mutable My Form
• B Veil of Rodents
• C Inveterate Gnawer, Poisonous Teleport 
• D All Bastard

Still a Rat

    Your veins are full of rats. These rats are dangerous criminals. You may surreptitiously nibble on things your fingers are touching — cheese, ropes, faces, &c. When you strike someone with a sneak attack and have a free off-hand, you may make an additional attack against them at +[level] to-hit for 1d6 chewing damage. 

However Mutable My Form

    Your veins are, as mentioned, full of rats. For every point of damage you take, 1d6 rats spill forth and flee. When you would take a fatal wound, you are instead dispersed into the local environs. You will reform [max HP] weeks later, less one day for each rat which escaped the fatal wound (not the rats that you've lost in general, those guys ran off to find cheese). Friends and associates are accustomed to you disappearing for months at a time. In theory it would be possible to permanently kill you by tracking down every rat that you have ever been and destroying it, but this is obviously impractical. 

    On your character sheet, write down "LIST OF FEARS". When something disperses you, add that thing to the list of fears; record the name of a person if it was a homicide, otherwise write down the hazard. You must pass a save vs. fear to approach that FEAR in the future. If something is on the list multiple times, you must pass multiple saves. Begin play with a FEAR rolled from the following list:

1. Fire
2. The Sea
3. Cats
4. Delicious-Smelling Food
5. Something??? in a Wizard's Tower
6. A Grue

Veil of Rodents

    You may willingly separate yourself into a teeming swarm of rats. They occupy at least a five-foot square, and at most a ten-foot square. As a swarm, you take 1 damage from most sources, normal damage from fire, and the maximum amount of damage from explosions, bursts of poison gas, &c. On your turn in combat the swarm may force any number of creatures standing in it to save or take 1d6 damage. The swarm may pass through any opening or tunnel large enough for a rat. If the swarm takes 6 damage or more from any source, you are dispersed. It takes at least a round for the swarm to reform into you, more if they're spread out (say, on the rafters of a feasting hall you've snook up into).

Inveterate Gnawer

    Your teeth, even in human form, grow continually. They are slightly harder and more durable than aluminum.

Poisonous Teleport

    Whatever area you are in always seems to be teeming with bright-eyed sable-furred rats. Once per round, you can disappear from where you are standing and reappear up to 20' away in a location a rat could have reached. 

All Bastard
    In your human form you have a prehensile tail and can squeeze into any gap your skull can fit through. As a rats, you can speak with your human's voice. 

Everybody Brings His Own Fire (GLOG Class: Mesmerist Pathfinder Conversion)

    "All schizophrenics are mad, and none are sane. Their behavior is incomprehensible. It tells us nothing about life and gives no insight into the human condition. There's nothing profound about it. Schizophrenics aren't clever or wise or witty — they make novel remarks, but that's because they are mad. When they laugh at things the rest of us don't, like the death of a parent, they're not being penetrating. They're not wryly amused at the simplicity and stupidity of the psychiatrist, however well justified that might be in many cases. They're laughing because they're too mad to tell what's funny any more. The rewards for being sane may not be very many — but knowing what's funny is one of them."
        - unknown source

    This is the second of my Pathfinder conversions, which I suppose I've been doing in addition to the D&D 5e posts. The Mesmerist is a strange fellow, somewhere between a Gygaxian illusionist and a creature from a nightmare. I like the idea of someone who... well, there's this common delusion, that the eyes of others aren't simple receivers but are somehow transmitting, that it's not enough to close your eyes, to not see its face, but that you must somehow close the eyes of the Basilisk. There's a man out there on the internet who doesn't believe that eyes "see light". He thinks light is projected out of the eyes. He's already answered your common objections, I'm afraid. There's nothing left to do but believe him.
    The idea that it's the being perceived, not the perception, that harms you, it's a bit alarming to me. "Not what goes into the mouth of a man, but what comes out of the mouth", and so forth. Goodnight, goodnight. Full credit to Eos at Nobless Goblige, who invented not only this class but also the d20 system and by extension all of Pathfinder.

Source: Absolute Reality, Joan Miro

Class: Mesmerist

    You are a huckster, a charlatan, a lunatic. You're a cold-reading liar, a soul-killed "psychic" who combines childish trickery with overconfidence with emotional abuse to achieve your wildest dreams. Those white-irised eyes have seen things that should have destroyed you, and have certainly damned you. Now that haunted gaze sees the sorts of things that make people think you're clever. Haven't you read The Snow Queen? You fools think cruelty is a gas, and that hardheadedness is the surest sign of wisdom. I tell you, I don't care how many screams you hear, I don't care how many anguished cries: death is a million times preferable to ten more days of this life. If you knew what was ahead of you — if you knew what was ahead of you, you'd be glad to be stepping over tonight.

    If you have at least one template of Mesmerist, you may wear light armor, and never fumble while using knives, clubs or staves. You gain +1 to reactions on odd-numbered levels, and inflict a +1 penalty to enemy morale rolls for every even-numbered level. The spells of the Orthodox Wizard count as being from your school.

Skills: 1. Bullying 2. Mechanical convection incubators 3. Addiction
Starting Equipment: Cheap suit (as unarmored), flask of holy water (3 doses), flask of fire water (3 doses), spellbook.

• A Stare, +1 MD, roll for a spell
• B Suggestion, Mind Palace
• C Eyelights, +1 MD
• D Domination,

Stare
    At will, you may stare at any intelligent creature you can see. The target is befuddled, and you may force them to suffer a penalty to any save you see them make equal to your [level]. This penalty is doubled for saves v. mind-altering effects. Once per round you may befuddle them such that they take an additional [level] points of damage from a melee attack. Finally, choose one stare improvement from the list below the class features.
    Targets never realize that you are staring at them, and do not remember afterwards. While staring you are not required to maintain unbroken eye contact — you may blink, or briefly glance away to find your footing or pick up an object — but you cannot read a text, scrutinize the workings of a trap, or do anything else that would require significant visual attention. The stare ends when you choose to look away or the target moves out of view for more than a moment. You can only stare at one target at a time, though any number of Mesmerists may stare at the same target.

Implant Suggestion
    You may implant powerful hypnotic suggestions in the minds of friends and allies, and enemies as well if preparation is taken. To do this, you need to first develop the suggestion inside your Mind Palace, and keep it prepared there. You may keep as many suggestions prepared as you have [levels].
    To implant a suggestion you must make direct skin-to-skin contact with the target — a handshake is plenty, though a fatherly pat on the head, or a steady hand on the shoulder that ju-uu-ust brushes the neck with a pinkie or the collarbone with a thumb, will do just as well in different circumstances.
    When you implant a suggestion, it's gone and cannot be reused unless prepared again. You may only have one of your suggestions implanted in a creature at one time, but you may have any number of them extant.

Mind Palace
    When dreaming, drunk, high or otherwise in an altered state, you may project your mind into a construction contained within itself. This construction bears a stark resemblance to an old and comfortable country house, with creaky floorboards, narrow and crooked stairs, ugly paintings on the walls depicting yourself in various costumes, a quiet and somewhat dusty library containing every book you've ever read, a kennel containing your prepared spells, a study where you may prepare suggestions, a hall of statues and mirrors, a dining room set for a feast, and a grand atrium in the center which looks up at a black and starless sky. This is your Mind Palace, made just for you. It's quite empty — not the emptiness of abandonment, or of the open grave, but of anticipation, as if the whole place is holding its breath waiting for the honored guests.
    In the Palace, you may consider your schemes and plans, develop suggestions, prepare spells, read your books, or walk among your collections. The mind may move as the body rests. You can bring willing people to the Palace as guests by sleeping next to them, getting drunk from the same wine, high from the same chemic, etc.

Eyelights
    Study, training and introspection has made your gaze more palpable. Choose three stare improvements now.

Domination
    Your mind is as pure and clean as formaldehyde. Even the fools who once doubted you can't deny that for much longer. Gain the CR3 trigger When I next hear you speak and the CR5 effect , I will unflinchingly obey the next simple command I am given. immediately.
    When you and an NPC are off-screen together for more than an hour, you can declare that they have become your thrall. Your thralls behave normally, except they treat your opinion as their opinion, act on your suggestions as they would on their own ideas, and become very offended if someone suggests something negative about your character.
    Maintaining this level of constant control over someone is exhausting. You suffer a -1 penalty to all checks per thrall you control, and you lose at least as many inventory slots as they have HD (plus however many more if their nature is draconic or divine or so forth. DM's call). You may wish to invest in a nice walking stick.
    You may release a thrall at-will, and they will not recall the experience as being out of the ordinary, though it will take you at least a month to recover your vitality. Your thralls are not released upon your death.

Stare Improvements

• Alluring. Target finds you fascinating, and suffers penalty to initiative checks.
• Deceiving. Target's ability to detect falsehood fails them. They cannot pierce illusions, and they must save to disbelieve any lie not immediately disproven (no "the sky is green").
• Disorienting. Target finds their own vision beginning to flash and darken, and suffers the penalty to to-hit rolls.
• Disquieting. Target becomes oddly frightened, and must pass a morale check to enter darkness or deep water.
• Oscillating. Target's vision swims, and they perceive only vague movement and colors past 30'.
• Sapping. Target feels their supernatural abilities weaken, and suffers the penalty to [sum].
• Stupefying. Target's hands grow clumsy, and they suffer the penalty to skill rolls.
• Binding. Target's soul grows heavy, and they suffer the penalty to attempts to escape.
• Dismissing. Target feels uncomfortable and has a desire to leave the situation.
• Dying. Target knows they are doomed, and the penalty is added to all damage inflicted on them.

Developing Suggestions
    A suggestion has two components: the trigger and the effect. Learning new triggers/effects is one of the essential parts of becoming a more capable Mesmerist. Mesmerists may share any triggers/effects they know by visiting each others' Mind Palaces, and you will likely discover or invent more of them in play.
    Some more complicated triggers/effects require more knowledge of the target's mental state and so have an associated cold-reading number. To implant a suggestion with a CR, you must know at least that many interesting facts about the target. "Interesting facts" are interesting to the target: names of parents, names of children, place of birth, date of birth, significant regrets, major hobbies, occupations, details of love-life — in short, the sort of thing they would be delighted to hear a fortune-teller guess about them.
    Preparing a suggestion takes one hour, plus one hour per CR.

Example Triggers:

1. When I next roll a save against a spell
2. When I next experience a mind-altering effect
3. When I next make eye contact with you
4. When I next am in darkness
5. CR1: When I next enter combat
6. CR1: When I next become angry
7. CR3: When I become angry
8. CR1: When I next roll to use a skill
9. CR3: When I roll to use a skill

Example Effects:

1. , I will experience agony for one round.
2. , I will add your [level] to the result.
3. , my legs will go limp for one round.
4. , you will be able to see through my eyes for 1 minute per your [level].
5. CR1: , I and every intelligent creature within 30' will suddenly perceive you as being present.
6. CR1: , my face will contort into a hideous and demonic mask, forcing saves vs. fear from all creatures unprepared for this.
7. CR1: , I will gain 1d6 plus your [level] temporary HP.
8. CR2: , I will enter a violent rage.
9. CR3: , I will begin to levitate, gaining the ability to float at walking speed in any direction for one minute.

Mesmerist Spells:

1. Unwitting Ally
   R: sight T: [dice] creatures D: [sum] rounds
   Caster's stare inflicts paranoia and confusion. Each target saves individually; those who fail become unusually aggressive and lose the ability to distinguish friend from foe. For the purposes of spells, abilities, flanking and backstabbing, &c, affected creatures are no one's "ally", everyone's "enemy", and never "willing".
   Affected creatures are still capable of tactical thinking and, perceiving themselves to be surrounded by enemies, will prefer to retreat. If trapped in close proximity to other creatures they will fight desperately to escape.
2. Animate Rope
   R: touch T: a length of flexible cord, rope or chain no more than [sum]*10' long D: until dispelled
   Target rope lives. It is obedient to the caster's spoken commands, can climb as well as a large python, can stand half its length tall and pull itself up by one end, can knot or unknot itself, and doesn't mind being climbed. When not moving the animated rope is indistinguishable from normal rope, unless in very close proximity to fire, in which case it flinches.
   If cut, the longer piece is the animated rope until reduced below 5' in length.
   Animated rope can't tell people other than its caster apart, can't perceive anything except touch and its master's voice, doesn't understand that other creatures have senses other than touch, can't remember more than [dice] words outside of its caster's presence and is, of course, terrified of fire. Besides these restrictions it is an exceedingly dangerous assassin.
3. Bungle
   R: touch T: a creature D: [dice] checks or attacks
   Target takes a -[sum] penalty to all checks or to-hit rolls, no save.
4. Color Spray
   R: projected from self T: a 15' cone D: instant
   A burst of violent color erupts from the caster's fingertips. Creatures in the target cone save or are stunned for a round, falling prone and dropping any held items, then save again or suffer disadvantage on any sight-based checks for [best] rounds. Those with no sense of sight are immune to this spell. Creatures with more than [dice] HD are not stunned. If cast with more than 1MD,  creatures with 1 HD or fewer don't get to save.
5. Fool's Gold
   R: touch T: [sum] coins, pieces of jewelry or other tiny valuables D: n/a
   Caster lays a curse on target valuables. Creatures receive a penalty to saves v. hostile magic equal to the number of these valuables they have accepted from the caster as payment for goods and services. Valuables given as a gift have no effect, nor do valuables slipped into a pocket against the pants-wearer's knowledge, though the caster may tip outrageously. This effect lasts as long as they keep the objects in their possession: creatures do not need to actually carry the valuables on their person for the effect to occur. Effect ends when target valuables are passed on to a third party.
6. Blistering Invective
   R: voice T: creatures capable of understanding your tone, if not your words D: instant
   Caster utters a stream of foul language so obscene, menacing and blasphemous that those who hear it who have any reason to suspect it might be directed at them are physically harmed. All such creatures check morale: those who fail flee, and must also save or take [best] damage and be set on fire. Creatures immune to fire must still check morale, but creatures who cannot be intimidated are unaffected by this spell.
   

A GLOG Grimoire

    There are a number of spells I've written which have no wizard to accompany them as yet. I've decided to write them down, so that someone might get some use out of them regardless. Friend-of-the-blog Phlox has done this and so spurred my decision.

    General notes: these are spells for the GLOG, Arnold Kemp's (pbuh) fantasy heartbreaker. They operate on Magic Dice. Unless specified otherwise, assume that:

• if a spell targets a creature/object/point within range that target must be visible to the caster along an unobstructed path
• a cone is 60° and so is 10' wide 10' away from the caster, 30' wide 30' from the caster, and so forth
  
• beams and rays with a provided length but no provided width are about the thickness of a pencil
• a 10' sphere has a radius of 10', a 20' sphere a radius of 20', and so forth
• a 10' cube has an edge-length of 10', a 20' cube an edge-length of 20', and so forth
• spells which apply a condition to creatures provide them a save at casting time and otherwise continue for the duration
• spells with an indefinite duration keep the MD invested in them until they are ended by other means
  
• you should ask your DM about any specifics, which will vary by campaign
  

Spells

1. Death Glow
   R: touch T: an object or creature D: [sum] minutes
   The target glows with an unhealthful light for the duration. Unembodied undead are unceremoniously pushed 30' from the target. Embodied undead make a morale check with a [dice] penalty when they first see this light, even if they normally can't make morale checks. In this light, all failed checks are fumbles and all successful ones are critical. Creatures whose unprotected skin is exposed to this light (and the target, if it be a creature) must save every minute of total exposure or take [dice] damage to a random stat.
   
2. Vorpal Air
   R: n/a T: [dice]*20' cone, originating from caster D: instant
   The caster points a finger and utters a word of power, and a cone of vorpal air bursts forth. Creatures and objects within the cone save or take [sum] damage as if struck by many invisible blades from all directions. At 2MD, creatures are only permitted to save if their armor is at least leather and flimsy objects and structures are hacked apart, at 3MD creatures only save if wearing at least chain and objects softer than stone are shredded, at 4MD creatures must have at least plate and any non-metallic object is chopped to bits.
   
3. Predator
   R: n/a T: self D: [dice] rounds
   Caster is rendered invisible for the duration, and can move [dice] times again as fast. They can deal [sum] magical damage with a touch (roll to-hit vs. unarmored if in combat), no save. This is extremely frightening.
   
4. Summon Cosmic Crocodilian
   R: 20' T: an area large enough for a bigass crocodile D: indefinite
   A cosmic crocodilian (a type of Outsider) appears in the target area. It is not grateful, and it is not obedient. It weighs [dice] tonnes, has AC as plate and [sum]*2 HP, and its jaws are a massive weapon which automatically grapple those it strikes.
   Like all crocodiles, the cosmic crocodilian can perform a Death Roll to force a creature caught in its jaws to save or die. Unlike most crocodiles, a cosmic crocodilian has 18 intelligence, 2MD, and knows the spells Haste, Mummify Bird, Turn Hippopotamus (works at -1 [dice] against other horses) and Summon Cosmic Crocodilian.
   
5. Cone of Collapse
   R: n/a T: [dice]*20' cone, originating from caster D: one round
   All creatures, objects, buildings, landscapes and materials in the targeted area, including air, briefly experience a significantly increased F𝓰, the force due to gravity. Effects are highly variable, but assume that delicate objects are destroyed, flying objects fall and creatures human-size or larger must check strength or drop to their knees. If [sum] is 7 or greater, not-particularly-reinforced buildings will be damaged or destroyed, and mundane creatures horse-sized or larger are killed. If [sum] is 14 or greater most structures, including natural stone, will collapse and human-sized bodies will suffer massive structural damage and organ failure: affected creatures die, or check constitution to merely take [sum] damage. If sum is 21 or greater every living creature larger than an ant within the cone dies with no save, all matter within the cone is aggressively crushed, and there is a large negative-pressure effect for the duration followed by a thunderclap and moderate explosion when the spell ends.
   
6. Summon Mobat
   R: 60' T: a volume large enough for [sum] vultures D: [dice] hours
   Target volume is filled with [sum] mobats. The common mobat (Pteropodidae Mobatti parbatti) has 4HP, AC as leather, and is significantly less intelligent than even a very stupid person. They will follow one-word commands from the caster to the best of their ability. These abilities include flying around frantically, screaming, shitting, attempting to eat strongly-scented objects, and crashing into things. Those bitten by a mobat must save vs. disease or contract leprosy. The bats disappear at the end of the duration unless killed, in which case they leave behind a corpse (mostly cartilage) which can be unwisely cooked into 3 rations of delicious soup.
   
7. Polarized Shield
   R: self T: n/a D: [sum] minutes
   The caster is surrounded by a 20' spherical shroud of impenetrable darkness, with enough interior space to contain [dice] creatures if they're willing to get comfortable. This shroud is invisible along a single axis in 3d space that passes through the caster's head, which the caster can pitch and yaw as they please. From all other angles, the shroud foils scrying, infravision and all other forms of detection. Because it blocks vision and cannot itself be targeted by spells, and most combat spells cannot "pierce" the shroud and conventional countermagic cannot dispel it.
   
8. Woundweep
   R: 30' T: an injured creature D: instant
   Target saves or takes as much damage as they are already missing from their max HP (e.g. a creature at 6/9 hitpoints is now at 3/9 hitpoints). This process is excruciating. The damage cannot directly kill the target, but if it reduces them to 0 hitpoints they must check constitution or fall unconscious from the pain, and if they have sustained any injuries they must also check constitution or suffer that injury a second time.
   
9. Summon Planetar
   R: touch T: a constructed body worth at least 100gp per [die] D: 24 hours
   The caster performs a long and difficult ritual for the duration of the spell. If they cease repeating a long and complex mantra or break contact with the constructed body the spell fails and all MD are lost. Traditionally they are assisted by multiple apprentices, who may sing songs to keep them awake, physically hold them up, or grab their arms to keep their hands in contact with the constructed body.
   If the ritual is successful then the constructed body is occupied by a Planetar, a powerful force of Good from distant realms (stats to be found in any respectable MM). They are not in any way obligated to obey you. It's traditional for the apprentices to greet the Planetar with songs of rejoicing. Just as traditional is for one of them to reveal he's been Evil the whole time, murder the caster and the other apprentices, and enslave the Planetar to his dark will.
   
10. Crown of Vengeance
    R: touch T: a creature D: [sum] minutes
    Target's head is illuminated by a halo of golden light. For the duration, the receive a [dice] bonus to AC and to-hit. Creatures who know they have wronged the target must save each round they can see the halo; on a failure, they cannot move from their place. Creatures struck by the target who have not wronged the target may save; if they succeed, the Crown is passed to them.
    
11. Tomb Rune
    R: n/a T: the caster's hand D: [sum] hours
    A mysterious, shifting rune appears on the palm of the caster's dominant hand. When the hand is extended before them like a shield for an entire round, it projects dazzling sunlight that deals [best] damage each round to undead, creatures from other planes and magical constructs, no save. When the hand is closed above their head like a fist for an entire round, they are protected by a magical forcefield that grants them a [dice] bonus to AC, imposes disadvantage on ranged attacks against them, and gives them advantage on all saves. The spell ends immediately if the caster uses the runèd hand to grasp an object or if the hand is severed.
    
12. Curse of the Dark Eye
    R: 120' T: a creature within range D: [sum] weeks
    Target creature is afflicted with wild spirits of Tigerdom and Chaos. They must make a reaction check against every person they meet, with a [dice] penalty. If they wish to speak, they must save per sentence or have the words replaced by animalistic growls. If they wish to clothe themselves, they must save at dawn or be unable to do so that day. Any respectable cleric or Wise One recognizes this curse and can mix up a remedy that can reduce the remaining duration, though of course the afflicted target may have a negative reaction to their presence. 
13. Death Ray
    R: sight T: any point in range D: [dice] rounds
    A ray of raw magical power projects from the caster's hand towards the target point. It cuts through wood and earth at 10' a round, stone or brick 5' a round, and solid metal 1' a round. Unarmored creatures caught in the ray suffer [sum] damage, armored creatures may save to throw themselves out of the way before their armor melts. Their armor is obliterated in any case, and creatures who are killed by the ray disintegrate into ash. At two [dice] the ray cuts at double speed and creatures wearing only leather are not permitted a save, and so on and so forth for three and four [dice].
14. Horizon Blade
    R: touch T: a pre-prepared magical fetish worth at least 10gp per [die] invested D: [sum] rounds
    Upon casting, a portal to the Astral Plane opens 3' long and 1" wide. One end of the portal is attached to the fetish, allowing it to be manipulated like a sword's grip. The outside edge of the portal rapidly shreds matter it comes into contact with, cutting through 10' of wood or 1' of stone per round if used as a saw. If used as a sword, it is a medium weapon +[dice].
15. Secret Beige
    R: 5' T: waterproof vessel to contain [dice] quarts  D: indefinite
    Target vessel is filled with a supernatural paint whose quality varies with [dice]. At one [die], the paint renders a coated object or surface extremely dull and boring. Inattentive bystanders will assume the object has some sort of municipal purpose and isn't worth much money. At two [dice], the object or surface is actively uncool. Creatures without a definite reason to carry or associate with the object or surface will avoid it. At three [dice], painted object or surface is eminently forgettable. Even after having it pointed out, creatures will be generally unaware of the object or surface, and will unconsciously step around it or treat it as an impassable barrier.
    Three [dice] is the last practically useful level of this spell, partly because the caster is at risk of succumbing to the effects, but mostly because a four [dice] Secret Beige is totally useless. It cannot be, and has never been recorded to have been, applied to an object or surface. Stick to three.  
16. Torturous Inspirations
    R: same plane T: intelligent creature whose body parts (hair, blood, nails &c) you are touching D: indefinite
    Target creature is afflicted with horrible visions in the labyrinth of dreaming. Each morning they wake they must save. Upon failing the save, they are obligated to obtain 20gp of materials by any means necessary, and spend the day converting them into an artistic piece with a value depending on their personal skill. Details of the piece varies according to their inclination, and with multiple failed saves they may continue on the same piece or create multiple. Upon passing the save they are under no obligation to continue their piece or pieces, but may anyway. After [dice] successful saves the effect ends.
17. Abducting Buzz
    R: 30' T: a visible creature with fewer than [dice] HD D: [dice] hours.
    Target creature is borne aloft by a swarm of invisible insects and carted off to the Plane of Morgellons for the duration. They return safely to the place they left, horrified but unharmed. If the place they left is no longer safe (from the bugs' perspective), they are returned to the nearest field of flowers (however far away that might be). If [dice] is 4 or higher, the target returns after a year and a day, and is likely permanently mentally scarred.
    
18. Summon Chitin Predator
    R: 30' T: an unoccupied space large enough for a bigass dog D: [dice] hours
    A Chitin Predator is summoned to target area. It resembles a dog-sized antlion with AC as chain, [sum] hitpoints and a single heavy bite with a [dice] bonus to-hit. It is hostile to any people you consider your enemies, and not initially hostile to you or your allies For each [die] invested in this spell, choose an additional bonus for your antlion:
    
    • Can fly at 60' per round
      
    • AC as plate
      
    • Gains two additional medium claw attacks
      
    • Gains a sting attack, save v. paralysis
      
    • Camouflageable exoskeleton, granting near-invisibility when not moving
      
    • Can be dismissed at will
      

Hotrod Spells

    At the end of Nick Whelan's 2016 post of an example 100 words for the Magic Words system (which, incidentally, engendered the creation of this blog and its first now-depublished posts), he offers a series of 10 names. These are the names of historical figures (including Hitler, George Washington and Cleopatra) but the reader is instructed to use the names of well-known wizards of their own setting.

    "D&D has a long tradition of big-name casters like Tenser who live on through the spells that bear their name. I like this idea! So in the Magic Word system, using a specific wizard’s name as part of the spell you’re crafting means that what you’re actually doing is uncovering a spell first created by some long dead master of the arcane arts. And when the referee is writing up the spell, they can draw on that caster’s history and talent when determining the spell’s effects."

    Variations on this idea have haunted me for years. Importantly, in the GLOG, wizards often get two abilities — the first, the ability to "breed" spells together, producing novel mutants, and the second to designate one spell as their "favorite" or "signature" and receive bonuses.

    I forget why I started writing these paragraphs. That's happening more and more, recently. Anyway, here's a list of basic spells, and custom versions developed by famous dangerous wizards.

Source: Grimoire ensorcele by naiiade

Magic Missile

    One of the "classic spells", those developed by wizard-kings of eons past. You know them well; it seems like there's little point in me bothering to name them. Fly, the final rejection of the physical order. Charm Person, which made slaves. Protection from Evil and Good. Contact Higher Plane. Detect Invisible. Many more besides. Magic Missile in its basic form is incredibly simple, just a combination of object-location (to find its target), foresight (to circumvent defenses), and a powerful jolt of sidereal force. A wit might say that to have its own version of Magic Missile is a feature both absolutely necessary and absolutely sufficient for a Wizard School. Once you have that, you have a school.
    Archmages, or those who wish to be considered magical savants, love to hotrod the Magic Missile. A few examples are provided below.

Magic Missile
R: 200' T: up to [dice] creatures D: instant
[dice] magical projectiles fly from the caster's fingertips and strike their targets unerringly. Each deals damage equal to the face of the respective [die]. Targets may not dodge, save or otherwise avoid the magic missiles, unless they have a magical shield, which blocks all damage from this spell.

Blackfly's Magic Missile
R: 200' T: up to [sum]+1 creatures D: instant
[sum] minuscule magical projectiles, plus one queen, fly from the caster's fingertips and strike their targets unerringly. Each deals 1 damage. The target who was struck by the queen is infested with eggs, and will have a swarm of flesh-eating hornets burst from their skin next turn for [dice] damage. Targets may not dodge, save or otherwise avoid the magic missiles, unless they are wearing a wreath of garlic bulbs or a similarly powerful scent, which blocks all damage from this spell.

Thoth-Magog's Magic Missile
R: 200' T: one creature D: one full combat round
A glowing magical beam slowly extends from the caster's fingertips and navigates around inanimate obstacles to strike its target unerringly. This deals [sum]+[dice] damage, sets the target on fire, and reduces their lifespan by twenty years. Target may not dodge, save or otherwise avoid the magic missile, unless they cower behind another creature who is struck in their stead, receiving the damage and other effects of this spell.

Fireball

    A brutal spell developed for the mass-extermination of mortals. Its whistle-thump-roar is as iconic a sound of war as trumpets or the crashing of swords on shields. Because of its versatility, lethality and ease-of-use, a wand pre-loaded with a few casts of Fireball is as common a sight as any magic item can be. Perhaps the simplicity of the spell invites wizards to make it their own.

Fireball
R: 200' T: a point with an unobstructed path from the caster D: instant
A bead of flame flies from the caster's outstretched hand and races to the target point. Upon impact, it blossoms into a fireball of [dice]*10' radius, generally conforming to the space (care must be taken when casting underground), and dealing [sum] damage to all creatures caught in the deflagration, save for half.

Klausrod's Fireball
R: 75' T: a point with an unobstructed path from the caster D: instant
A black orb about the size of a mandarin flies from the caster's outstretched hand and races to the target point. Upon impact, it detonates with enough force to crack stone and liquefy soil. The explosion has a radius of roughly 20' per [die] invested in this spell. Those caught in the explosion are killed, or save to merely take [sum] damage and be flung bodily outside of the blast front. For every [expended], the radius of the explosion increases by 10', and a wave of shrapnel and unbreathable smoke extends for ½ of the radius past the edge of the explosion (that is, 1MD produces a 20' radius explosion, 1MD which expends produces a 30' explosion plus 15' of smoke and shrapnel, 4MD of which three are expended produces a 70' blast front plus 105' of smoke and shrapnel). Those caught out of cover by the shrapnel take [sum] damage, save for half. The smoke lingers for ten minutes or until dispersed by a strong wind.

Geist's Fireball
R: 1500' T: a point visible to the caster D: one round per 100'
A bead of white light leaps from the caster's outstretched hand and navigates to the target point, avoiding obstacles along the way. Upon impact a 20' radius sphere is concealed by a wall of opalescence. Living creatures of [dice] or fewer HD inside the sphere save or are reduced to clouds of powerfully acidic salt. This salt clings to other creatures in the area until removed with scrubbing or strong alcohol. If the creature is caught in rain or splashed with water before then, they take 1d6 damage per round for up to [sum] rounds. This spell is deeply offensive to planar entities and gods, and has a [sum]-in-20 chance of provoking reprisal within the next day.

Lightning Bolt

    This spell functions similarly to a bolt of natural lightning, but not identically. A powerful magnetic field is created for a fraction of a second, into which a tiny amount of plasma slightly hotter than the surface of the sun is injected. The field tends to form a long corridor, routing slightly through conductive mediums (e.g. metal armor) and reflecting off of strongly non-conductive mediums (e.g. solid wall of stone and earth), which infamously makes it possible to rebound the "bolt" back through the caster and create an extremely dangerous circuit. I suppose "Inject Plasma as Hot as the Sun into a Magnetic Field, Briefly" is a bit of a mouthful, so "Lightning Bolt" it remains.

Lightning Bolt
R: n/a T: a cylinder 5' in diameter and [dice]*100' long D: instant
In a flash, energy is projected from the caster's outstretched hand, striking all creatures and objects in the targeted volume for [sum] damage, save for half. Creatures wearing or holding large quantities of metal are not permitted to save. The force of the bolt shatters thin barriers, but is reflected off of hills or dungeon-walls, possibly striking the caster and his allies.

Scylla's Lightning Bolt
R: n/a T: [dice] cylinders 5' in diameter and 100' long D: instant:
In a flash, energy is projected from the caster's outstretched hand, striking all creatures and objects in the targeted volumes for [sum] damage, save for half. Creatures wearing or holding large quantities of metal are not permitted to save. After the initial bolts are created, each seeks the nearest creature within 100' and passes through them in a straight line, dealing [sum]-6 damage. This is repeated again, dealing [sum]-12 damage, and so on and so forth until the fury of the storm is spent.

Guinevere's Lightning Bolt
R: n/a T: n/a D: [sum] minutes
In a flash, an orb of energy 10' in diameter appears over the caster's shoulder. It seeks out the caster's enemies, or a target named in the casting, by leaping up to 100' per round and dealing [dice] damage on impact. If requested, this damage is subdual. The orb is as good a tracker as a bloodhound, though a good deal faster and slightly less intelligent.