A Hired Dick (GLOG Class: Thief Guild)

    This is one of Lexi's Thief Guilds. It will not make sense to you unless you click on that link and read it. If you read it and this class still doesn't make sense, I can't help you. Sorry.

Gumshoes and Flatfoots

Source: Gates of Arkham by JakeMurray

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    Those gritty detectives who see the world as it is. Often seen working against the other Guilds, strangely enough. Every gumshoe is assumed to be a monkey by default.
Skills: 1. Industrial Chemistry 2. Art History 3. Irish Dance. You are proficient in knives, saps, one-handed guns and knuckledusters. You cannot wield shields or wear heavy armor.
Starting Equipment: a well-worn trenchcoat (as leather), a battered fedora, a hip-flask of medical-grade alcohol, 20 slightly-squashed unfiltereds, a lighter, a detective special (6 shots, 1d6 damage, 20/10' range), 30 bullets rattling loose in your pocket, a crippling alcohol dependency, debt.

1. Investigator
   

   ✧ Sometimes the best clues are the most obvious ones. By forming a square with your hands and looking through it, you can magnify your view up to twenty times. You may wave your hand over a footprint to see if it matches another footprint you have examined before.
   

   ✧✧ Other times, you need to think a little harder. You may hold one eidetic snapshot in your head indefinitely. This isn't just a thing you can't forget, but a memory so perfect you may search it again later to find new clues. One second is enough to store your entire field of view.
   

   ✧✧✧ If you consider two clues for a full minute, you have a revelation about how they are (or aren't) connected. Every time you do this you have a cumulative 1-in-6 chance of coming down with a splitting migraine, preventing you from doing anything useful until you get a full night's rest.
   

2. Street Smarts
   

   ✧ Follow your nose. With a sniff, you can identify plants, potions, poisons, and whether blood is from an intelligent creature or not. Once you have identified a substance, you always know where to find an expert in the stuff.
   

   ✧✧ Trust your gut. You can suss out someone's vices by observing them for a few minutes. In conversation, you can tell if someone knows they are being deceitful. Your own poker face is perfect, and even skilled people-readers get nothing from you.

   ✧✧✧ Listen to the voices in your head. You can Speak with Small Objects to determine what they are and what they believe their purpose to be.
   

3. Detective Special
   

   ✧ The streets taught you some hard lessons, which you are happy to share with others. Attempts to throw or shove an enemy do not provoke attacks of opportunity. Your hands, fists and teeth are light weapons against targets wearing leather or worse.
   

   ✧✧ The trick to winning a fight is being unwilling to lose. None of your maneuvers provoke attacks of opportunity, and any items you could hide under a fedora cannot be found on your person without a strip search. Weapons operated with one hand can be drawn instantly, as if by legerdemain.

   ✧✧✧ You are a master of the sucker punch and the ambuscade. Melee attacks against unsuspecting targets require saves vs. being knocked the fuck out. The range of your ranged weapons is doubled. You may declare a ranged attack roll against an unmoving target to be 18 (or 3 if lower is better).

4. Urban Wilderness
   

   ✧ Choose two of the following adjectives: smoky, narrow, dilapidated, shadowy, bustling, expensive, imposing, damp, loud, unwelcoming, shunned. While in an area described by that adjective, you can shadow a target without being detected, find free lodging (of some sort) for one person, and can guide one person (including yourself) through the area at double speed.
       Every time you level up, select another adjective. Effects stack. Adjectives may be selected multiple times.
   

   ✧✧ Sometimes, to make an omelet, you have to break into a few buildings. If a location is not under active guard you can enter it without leaving a trace. You can climb any surface a human could climb and make any jump a human could make without rolling.
   

   ✧✧✧ Inside a city, you are impossible to locate without magical means. In a crowd you are as difficult to shadow as if you were invisible. Your hideouts and safehouses can only be revealed by magic or betrayal.
   

5. Substance Abuse
   

   ✧ Some people don't want to go through life sober. You are an experienced user of monkey drugs, and always get an additional save against poison and side effects. Each point of drunkenness also increases your critical success range by 1.
   

   ✧✧ A stiff drink of [level] fingers heals you for 1d6, even if poured down your unconscious throat (counts as magical healing for the sake of wounds). This increases your drunkenness by one point.
   

   ✧✧✧ It's hard to live day to day without a bump of mothballs and broken glass. While drunk, delay all sanity and trauma checks until you sober up. Most poisons intoxicate you rather than damage you.
   

6. Bise Noir
   

   ✧ The background music is audible to you, and your DM will describe it. When an enemy is about to arrive, a femme fatale about to step through your door, a clue very near or something dangerous stalking you, you know at once.
   

   ✧✧ The narration is audible to you, and your DM will describe it. You are never surprised, and you know the names of nearby NPCs.
   

   ✧✧✧ Once per day you may narrate something and have it happen immediately. Options include, but are not necessarily limited to:
   

   1. "Even as I spoke, the thunder rolled and the sky opened up with miserable rain..."
      
   2. "Even as I spoke, the rain stopped and the sun shone for what felt like the first time in days..."
      
   3. "Suddenly, a man with a gun stepped through the door and opened fire!"
      
   4. "I hadn't heard the dame creep up behind me when she laughed, and said..."
      
   5. "This was strange enough, but I was really caught off guard by the gorilla..."
      
   6. "That was when the auto screeched to a halt. "Get in if you want to live", the driver growled..."
      
   7. "I rummaged in my pockets for a lighter. Wait, what's this? An unmarked package?"
      
   8. "I passed by a newsboy yelling the headlines. "[SOMEBODY] MISSING! READ ALL ABOUT IT!""