Sunday, April 18, 2021

GLOG Legallydistinctémon (GLOG Setting, Random Tables)

    Legallydistinctémon! A project of the twice-secret Gold Membership© GLOG Discord!

Rubble in the background? A legbone for a signpost? What blasted Hellscape is this?


    The world of [redacted at the request of my lawyers] is one of adventure and mystery, full of powerful ancient creatures and warlocks who seek to bind those creatures to their very souls (what did you think they meant by "the power that's inside"?)
    If you've read the manga you know how wild the setting can be. Predictably, the GLOG community's version of this world is even more grotesque and full of people blowing themselves up with poorly understood "magic". That's what this post is: a collection of ersatz Pokémon and tables to generate them, with content sourced from the GLOG Discord and links to creators and blogs.

    Also, Phlox found a site which randomly generates portmanteaus. Useful for this sort of work.

Fire Legallydistinctémon

Template: 1/2 damage from fire

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE AN ORANGE/RED/FIRE COLORED —
 2. humanoid elemental
 3. dog
 4. tiger
 5. rabbit
 6. bird
 7. lizard
 8. monkey
 9. pig
10. ox
11. fox
12. moth

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. flame comin' out of it
 2. flesh damasked with veins of magma
 3. neon skin (1. pink 2. green 3. yellow 4. purple)
 4. a body much larger than before
 5. beautiful lustrous hair
 6. fearsome accessories in stone and metal
 7. piercing eyes
 8. devil wings
 9. a carpet of flame-colored spikes over its body
10. boiling blood, and an aura of heat-haze
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. flying type
2. fighting type
3. steel type
4. dragon type


Electric Legallydistinctémon

Template: activate and manipulate machines?

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A GLOWING YELLOW/GLEAMING METALLIC:
 2. humanoid elemental
 3. crow
 4. sheep
 5. common machine
 6. fluffy doggy
 7. adorable rodent
 8. weird-ass quadruped
 9. fuzzy kitty
10. deep sea predator
11. ??? storm with arms and teeth and shit?
12. SPIDER

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. lightning-bolt whiskers that indicate its power level
 2. crackling aura that shorts out machinery
 3. inverted colors
 4. fuzzy fur if it was metallic, or metal wires if it was fuzzy
 5. a body much larger than before
 6. accessories in thick insulating rubber
 7. a long grounding lightning-bolt tail
 8. a glowing bobble on a long antennae
 9. thrumming mechanical features with a million horsepower
10. a staticky mane
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. steel type
2. fighting type
3. water type
4. flying type



PHLOX

Ghost Legallydistinctémon

Template: pass through solid objects

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A PURPLE/GREY/WHITE/BLUE:
 2. wreck
 3. gaunt domesticated animal
 4. costume
 5. interior furnishing
 6. face with stubby body
 7. shapeless blob
 8. body part
 9. thin, thin humanoid
10. gourd
11. chonky body with a small head and wispy tail
12. aristocratic weapon

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. a sinister hat
 2. more or wider mouths
 3. an emanation of strange light
 4. metallic ridges
 5. a growth piercing it
 6. exposed bone
 7. restraints or containers hanging off it
 8. shadows dancing around it
 9. Inflated, its face leering
10. a knife
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. psychic type
2. poison type
3. fire type
4. dark type



LOCHEIL

Ground Legallydistinctémon

Template: Can burrow

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE AN OCHRE/BROWN/GOLD:
 2. Mole
 3. Worm
 4. Snake
 5. Dog
 6. Hippopotamus
 7. Horse
 8. Lizard
 9. Badger
10. Small Rodent
11. Clay Statue
12. Archaeological Relic

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. Massive digging claws.
 2. A thick hide.
 3. Red or blue splotches, like mud-splats.
 4. Covered in soil, mud or sand.
 5. Heavy, blocklke limbs or head.
 6. Clay armour, wet or fired.
 7. The ability to roll up into a ball.
 8. A portly body.
 9. Large limbs.
10. A stable stance.
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]


WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. rock type
2. water type
3. grass type
4. steel type


Dragon Legallydistinctémon

Template: Moves deal an extra [+????] damage.

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A WINGLESS DRAGON, BUT:
 2. It's covered in gold and other precious metals.
 3. It has bone or metal armour.
 4. It's wearing parts of its broken eggshell.
 5. It's half mammal.
 6. It's got six legs.  
 7. It's long and serpentine, or at least part of it is.
 8. It's got 1d4 Extra Heads.
 9. It's Birdlike.
10. It's broad and heavy, or at least part of it is.
11. It's spiky and angular, or at least part of it is.
12. It's got 1d4 sets of wings.

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. Ominously glowing eyes.
 2. A weapon formed from it's body, such as a cannon or blade.
 3. Massive fangs.
 4. Rows of spines.
 5. An extravagant head-crest of some kind.
 6. Heavy pieces of bone or metal armour.
 7. A long, thin, swishing tail.
 8. Extravagant horns.
 9. Smoke and 'dragon energy' billowing from it's jaws.
10. An extra... (1. Head 2. Set of Wings 3. Set of Legs 4. Tail)
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. steel type
2. fire type
3. dark type
4. flying type



Bug Legallydistinctémon

Template: always win initiative?

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A HUGE, FANCY COLOURED:
 2. spider
 3. ant
 4. cockroach
 5. dragonfly
 6. cricket
 7. worm
 8. centipede
 9. bee or wasp
10. weevil
11. beetle
12. moth or butterfly

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. An extra set of legs.
 2. Gossamer wings.
 3. Chitinous blades.
 4. Spiky armour.
 5. Eye spots.
 6. Parasitic fungi.
 7. A shell of natural material.
 8. Metallic chitin.
 9. Extravagant antennae.
10. The ability to stand upright.
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. grass type
2. dark type
3. poison type
4. ground type


Dark Legallydistinctémon

Template: invisible in darkness

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A RED/BLACK/ORANGE/PURPLE:
 2. Ghostly Humanoid
 3. Canine
 4. Crow
 5. Scavenging Animal  
 6. Large Reptile
 7. Ooze or Living Shadow
 8. Rodent
 9. Small Reptile
10. Demon
11. Feline
12. Small Goblinesque Creature

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. A Crest or Flowing Piece of Fur
 2. A Cloak of Shadows
 3. Thorns, Spines or Claws
 4. An Aura of Darkness
 5. Batlike Wings
 6. A Mask, either as a pattern in fur or skin, or a literal mask
 7. An animate, unpleasant shadow.
 8. Gotten hold of some kind of Archaeological Relic.
 9. Glowing markings or eyes.
10. Spiky horns, or a spiked beak if appropriate.
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. ghost type
2. fire type
3. poison type
4. water type


Water Legallydistinctémon

Template: Amphibious, breathe air and water.

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A BLUE/CYAN/GREY:
 2. Giant Serpent
 3. Turtle
 4. Pinniped
 5. Frog or Toad  
 6. Waterfowl or Seabird
 7. Fish (1. Small Fish, 2. Large Fish, 3. Eel, 4. Shark,)
 8. Cetacean
 9. Shellfish
10. A Sessile Sea-Creature, such as Coral or a Barnacle
11. Cephalopod
12. Leviathan

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. Voluminous, glittering fins.
 2. A long, serpentine body.
 3. Reflective scales or shiny skin.
 4. A large shell.
 5. The great size that comes from living in the deeps.
 6. Partially or entirely made from clear or murky water.
 7. Has symbiotic coral growing on it.
 8. A glowing lure on a long appendage.
 9. A shoal of similar or smaller creatures like it accompanying it.
10. The ability to hover out of water.
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. grass type
2. ice type
3. poison type
4. ground type


Ice Legallydistinctémon

Template: 1/2 damage from cold

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A WHITE/PALE BLUE/TRANSLUCENT:
 2. Animate Snow Sculpture
 3. A Snowy Owl
 4. Bison or Ox
 5. Moose or Deer
 6. Particularly Fluffy Small Mammal
 7. Polar Bear
 8. Penguin
 9. Beluga or Orca
10. Pinniped
11. Animate Ice Structure
12. Yeti

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. Icicle spikes growing on its back.
 2. An attendant blizzard.
 3. Clouds of chill on its breath.
 4. A covering or shell, of packed snow or hard ice.  
 5. A big, broad, stocky body, to conserve heat.
 6. Thick gripping claws or broad swimming paddles (whichever would be weirder).
 7. Glittering sheen of frost that catches the light.
 8. Large horns or tusks.
 9. Thick, tangled fur.
10. An internal reservoir of great cold or self-sustaining heat.
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. water type
2. grass type
3. rock type
4. ground type

Fighting Legallydistinctémon

Template: [+????] HP

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A RED/BROWN/BEIGE:
 2. A portly, broad amphibian.
 3. A large, muscular horse.
 4. Large, upright... (1. Canine 2. Bear 3. Bovine 4. Pig)
 5. Monkey standing upright.
 6. Tall, thin humanoid.  
 7. Burly, massive humanoid.
 8. Squat, stocky humanoid.
 9. A large, stocky primate.
10. A large, flightless bird.
11. A burly, thick-skinned quadruped.
12. A non-fish sea creature.

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. 1d4 Extra Arms.
 2. Massive, bulging muscles.
 3. Leathery, craggy hide.
 4. 1d4 Extra Legs.
 5. Mysterious secret techniques.
 6. Armour (1. Natural 2. Manufactured 3. Scavenged)
 7. Prominent facial hair.
 8. Glowing... (1. Hair 2. Eyes 3. Limbs)  
 9. A weapon (1. Natural 2. Manufactured 3. Scavenged)
10. Heavy bone protrusions.
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. rock type
2. psychic type
3. steel type
4. normal type


Grass Legallydistinctémon

Template: invisible in plants

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A MOBILE, WEIRD

 2. Half-Plant Large Mammal
 3. Tree
 4. Shrub
 5. Fungus
 6. Half-Plant Lizard
 7. Fruit
 8. Vegetable
 9. Carnivorous Plant
10. Vine
11. Cactus
12. Half-Plant Small Mammal

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. A beautiful blooming flower.
 2. A carpet of moss or dry vines.
 3. A larger and more extravagant form of it's current vegetation.
 4. Wooden accessories.
 5. A covering of snow, sand or soil.
 6. Great size.
 7. A covering of thick bark.
 8. Pollen or spores.
 9. Thorns or spines.
10. A completely different colour!
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. ground type
2. water type
3. poison type
4. rock type


ANDREW SAWYER OF DEAD-DELVER

Fairy Legallydistinctémon

Template: Other Legamon are less likely to panic or run away

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A PINK/PURPLE/METALLIC -
2. Regal Beast
3. Dessert Treat
4. Floating Ring
5. Vague-Humanoid
6. Small Vague-Humanoid
7. Egg
8. Unnaturally Cute Animal
9. Fluffy Cloud
10. Stuffed Doll
11. Ball of Slime
12. Spiritual Totem

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS -
1. 1d4 Extra Faces
2. 1d4 Flower Blooms
3. Far Too Many Eyes
4. All the Colors of the Rainbow
5. A Large Red Bow
6. A Larger Head
7. A Crown or Crest
8. A Charming Grin
9. A Completely Different Color
10. 1d4 Pairs of Wings
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED IT GAINED THE -
1. Psychic Type
2. Grass Type
3. Flying Type
4. Electric Type


HARUSPEXHOVEL

Flying Legallydistinctémon

Template: has wings; can fly

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A BROWN/GREY/BRIGHTLY COLORED:
 2. Bat
 3. Peafowl
 4. Crow
 5. Woodpecker
 6. Owl
 7. Pigeon
 8. Goose
 9. Crane
10. Duck
11. Falcon
12. Pterodactyl

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. Another set of voluminous wings.
 2. The ability to hover.
 3. A new, distinctive patch of color on its... (1. head 2. tail 3. wings 4. rump)
 4. A razor-sharp beak or bill.
 5. Longer legs and twice the land speed.
 6. The ability to imitate any other legamon's cries.
 7. Metallic feathers.
 8. Extraordinary hearing.
 9. An extra head.
10. The ability to glide silently.
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. bug type
2. fire type
3. poison type
4. grass type

Normal Legallydistinctémon

Template: the ability to appear completely and utterly normal no matter the situation

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A BEIGE/BROWN/PASTEL-COLORED:
 2. Badger
 3. Hedgehog
 4. Rodent
 5. Rabbit
 6. Cat
 7. Canine
 8. Monkey
 9. Cow
10. Bear
11. Deer
12. Marsupial (1. Kangaroo 2. Koala 3. Possum 4. Wombat)

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
 1. New, distinctive markings on its... (1. chest 2. head 3. arms 4. back)
 2. 1d4 extra limbs.
 3. A bow, flower, or distinctive facial hair.
 4. An object... (1. Natural 2. Manufactured 3. Scavenged).
 5. A welcoming or sour look on its face.
 6. A baby version of itself on its shoulders/back/pouch.
 7. The ability to stand up on its hind legs and walk like a human.
 8. 1d6 new tails.
 9. A completely new patch of color.
10. An old, wrinkly visage.
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. flying type
2. water type
3. fire type
4. grass type


A SENSE OF IMMERSION


RANDOMWIZARD

Rock Legallydistinctémon

Template: Takes half damage from piercing/cutting attacks.

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A GRAY/BROWN/DARK BLUE:
2. Coral formation
3. Bug with a rocky shell
4. Aquatic dinosaur
5. Snake made out of rocks
6. Literal pile of rocks
7. Rock with legs
8. Animate statue
9. Ancient stone artifact
10. Terrestrial dinosaur
11. Hovering asteroid
12. Animal preserved in amber

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS —
1. Glowing crystal protrusions.
2. A perpetual sandstorm around itself.
3. Ancient runes carved across its surface.
4. A bunch of smaller rocks attached to it.
5. Heavy and cumbersome granite armor plating.
6. Way too many spikes.
7. The ability to camouflage within natural rock surfaces.
8. Cracks and chips covering its surface.
9. A mustache. Made out of actual hair or more rocks; whichever is funnier.
10. Wings that aren’t strong enough to get its fat little body off the ground.
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED UP IT GAINED THE —
1. water type
2. ground type
3. steel type
4. bug type



PURPLECTHULHU

Poison Legallydistinctémon

Template: Your legamon are resistant to poison.

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A GREEN/INDIGO/PURPLE:
2. Bat
3. Flower
4. Fungus
5. Blob monster
6. Spider
7. Scorpion
8. Snake
9. Lizard
10. Frog
11. Other toxic bug (1. Wasp  2. Moth  3. Centipede  4. Snail)
12. Non-fishy sea creature

IT LEVELED UP! NOW IT HAS --
1. Bright warning colors
2. Sharp spines
3. Large(r)/more stinger/fangs
4. A coating of toxic goo
5. Lots of fringes and frills
6. An aura of poisonous gas
7. Garbage sticking out of it
8. Acidic spit/blood/tears
9. A long tongue/tentacles
10. OH GOD ITS STARTING TO MELT
11. [roll twice on this table]
12. [roll twice on this table and once on the last]

WOW! WHEN IT LEVELED IT GAINED THE -
1. Water type
2. Grass type
3. Dark type
4. Bug type





BUT THE DESIGN IS COMPLICATED BY THE FACT THAT IT —
 1. has a terrifying shadow that reveals its true form
 2. is shaped like a common object from civilization (1. building 2. weapon 3. vehicle 4. straight up looks exactly like a guy)
 3. is ten-times too-big
 4. has eyes in an unexpected place
 5. relentlessly attacks people who enter its territory
 6. cares about money, for some reason?
 7. is the male/female form of a completely different legamon
 8. is the juvenile/adult form of a completely different legamon
 9. is venerated by the locals who share its habitat
10. is a cleverly disguised insect [add BUG type]
11. is an invasive species
12. fears a random non-threatening pokemon
13. prefers water/land instead of its expected habitat (if already amphibious, can fly)
14. produces a useful substance, (1d10: 1–4 milk or some other edible 5–8 wool or some similar textile 9 medicinal application 10 military application)
15. is critically endangered
16. is entirely immortal
17. incarnates a concept (1. an emotion 2. an event 3. an unrelated element 4. a physical law)
18. is unique, the only one in existence
19. explodes sometimes
20. obsesses over a random mundane inanimate object: steals them, makes them, builds nests out of them...
21. nocturnal
22. lives among humans
23. causes natural disasters
24. lives in a weird place
25. is a literal alien
26. has a secondary type? [Roll on that type's Trait Table]?
27. has been domesticated for a long time
28. is always disobedient
29. is naturally cooperative and loyal
30. is rivals with another legamon in their natural habitat
31. is a regional variant of something else
32. parasitizes another legamon
33. was revived from a strange fossil
34. has multiple evolutions, based on environment or diet or behavior




Example Legamon, Generated With Those Tables:


Pterrifier, The Inquiring Legamon. Flying/Steel.
Pterrifier is a pterosaur with radio dishes instead of wings and two heads, one with a single heat-vision eye and the other with a parabolic microphone. Its stiff wings cannot flap, so it hovers instead. Wild Pterrifiers appear on nights with a full moon to harass politicians and scientists before flying back up into the sky and disappearing.

Forgeox, The Blacksmith Legamon. Fire/Steel.
Art courtesy of Locheil

Wild Forgeoxen wander the roads with a beltful of tools, cleaning and repairing machinery for a small fee. What do they use the money for? No one knows, but they refuse to do anything for free. This Legamon will never respect a trainer who can't work with their hands.

Pinespine, The Soggy Buddy Legamon. Grass.
Pinespines are related to [other cactus guy] but have evolved for the climate of a temperate forest. Water is so abundant in their environment that they can spend most of the day working on carpentry projects, or sleeping as a thick bed of moss grows over them. Their waterlogged spines make them defenseless, and their waterlogged hearts make them kind. Unscrupulous humans sometimes steal from them, or even keep them in cages to produce excellent wooden furniture.

Larvantage, The Conscripted Legamon. Bug.
They don't know it yet, but newly-hatched Larvantages have been drafted into the war of all against all. They are small, weak, poorly-trained and delicious. Their only hope lies in the nickel-plated .44 automatic they were born clutching.

Snipoon, The Hardened Legamon. Bug/Steel.
War has changed the Snipoon almost as much as the adamant threads it wraps around its body. The only gap in its defense is a slot large enough for its newly-evolved sniper rifle and 7x scope. Pairs of Snipoons often work together, serving as each others' spotters.

Overmoth, The Military-Industrial Legamon. Bug/Steel.
Of the thousands of eggs an Overmoth lays in its lifetime, only a few will survive to ever lay eggs of their own. These flying fortresses know they have a duty to the rest of their species. They keep careful watch for predators, and rain automatic fire on trespassers in their territory.

Beegon, The Hunter-Killer Legamon. Bug.
Beegons are the male form of the Beelders. They are useless outside of mating season, so they patrol the hive and detonate if they find intruders. Trained Beegons have been used in human warfare for centuries.

Beelder, The Hard-Working Legamon. Bug.
Beelders are the female form of the Beegons. They produce concrete instead of honey, and humans use their old hives as towns or even cities. Beelders are revered in the Devastee region because legends hold they taught the art of construction to mankind.

Fragondie, The Chain Reaction Legamon. Bug.
Periodically detonating their heavy exoskeletons makes these Legamon biologically immortal. When huge, ancient Fragondies molt it might seem like a terrible cataclysm, but the explosion frees them for long enough to fly high and find a mate. Watch out! When swarms of them sleep in the same place, one molting will detonate the others!

Guppriest, The Guilty Guppie Legamon. Water.

Guppriests are born when a Penumburst has fallen to the bottom of the ocean floor and other water legamon begin to feed on their remains. Some say Guppriests are the reincarnation of the pure spirit of the Penumburst, destined to be corrupted again.

Penumburst, The Shadowy Cathedral Legamon. Water/Dark.

Penumbursts grow to be some of the largest Legamon because they are so puffed up with vanity. Every Penumburst is unique, and each considers their style to be the most beautiful and most interesting of all. They fill the ocean with boastful songs, like old buildings settling.

Garfouls, The Corrupting Legamon. Dark.
Garfouls follow small, vulnerable Legamon and attempt to drive them to grim deeds and greater power, in order to feed off them when they fall. They can be found in any environment but prefer the water because it hides them from the sight of G_d.



The following Legamon came from a source who wishes to be identified only as "daddy":

Tracheiodon, the Compsognathys Legamon. Grass.
This Legamon eats, drinks and breathes through a tube in the end of its tail. It spends most of its time hiding in the undergrowth with its friends, until prey walks by and they swarm.

Vieraraptor, the Velociraptor Legamon. Grass/Dark.
Vieraraptors hunt in small, dangerous packs. The moss which grows on their feet makes them move silently, and their powerful teeth make them dangerous even to Legamon much larger than themselves.

Skovenator, the Apex Predator Legamon. Grass/Dark.
Skovenators are generally solitary Legamon who live and hunt by themselves. They can use any amount of darkness to hide their mottled bodies and stalk their prey. Nothing is safe from a hungry Skovenator, not even an armed human hunter.

Lasheen, the Whip Snake Legamon. Water.
This Legamon's name comes from its shiny reflective scales, which it uses to lure and dazzle its prey before striking them with its long and heavy tail.

Ophlaios, the Flail Cobra Legamon. Water.
Using its multiple tails as a propeller by spinning them is just one of the myriad of techniques Ophlaios uses to defeat its foes.

Macehoggr, the Grudge-Holding Legamon. Water.
Its heavy skull can break the plating on ships that are too large for it to coil around and crush. Macehoggrs hate all Flying type Legamon, and will do their best to destroy their roosts and safehavens. Legends say that, in the past, Macehoggrs have destroyed the foundations of islands so they sank and drowned the Flying types who lived there.

Cower, the Fearful Calf Legamon. Fire.
Known to run from everything, Cowers are hard to raise in dangerous environments such as the Devastee Region.

Vaingulate, the Conceited Cow Legamon. Fire.
After its first evolution this Legamon has become vain and narcissistic. Vaingulates are known to mistake their own reflection for rivals, and challenge them to contests of beauty and strength.

Heliovine, the Sun Ox Legamon. Fire/Fairy.
This Legamon is sturdy and dependable and so is a common site in farming communities. Statues of Heliovines are considered good luck in other countries, and tourists sometimes assume they are worshiped in the region, but they're just cows.



THE DEVASTEE REGION





    This region is an archipelago 1000 kilometers long in the southern oceans. It is most famous for its Bug-type Legamon, which grow very large through insular gigantism. Devastee (pronounced deh-vah-STEH) is damp and usually temperate, but prone to seasonal storms. The locals know to avoid the territories of the explosive insects. Tourists don't, and sometimes get themselves in trouble.
    Most towns are linked by Routes and regular ferry services, but a few are more secluded. Gathering the badges of the Devastee Region will require a trainer who is willing to delve into caves, hike through mountains, ford over rivers and brave ferocious Legamon.


HOW DO I USE ANY OF THIS?


    You can't! We're still discussing how Legamon fighting actually works in the context of a TTRPG. Join the Discord and weigh in, if you wish.

Sunday, April 11, 2021

A Different Way of Using Weather Flowers (Hexmap Stuff)

So you're all familiar with weather flowers, or will be when I explain them in a second:


This one's itty-bitty, for demonstration purposes. Larger ones are more common.

    We start in the central hex (labeled "SUNNY"). Put a little smiley face on that one in Paint, if you want. Every weather-time-interval (a day, a few hours, whatever) we roll a d6 (or a d8 and treat 7s and 8s as "stay still" but whatever). If we roll a 1, we move straight up on the diagram (into one of the "RAIN" hexes), if we roll a 2 we move to the 2'o'clock hex (also "RAIN" on this flower), and so on. When we encounter an edge we slide across it to a new hex as best we can. In this example, when we hit a grey hex we return to the "SUNNY" hex in the center — imagine a damp rainforest, where it's never "SUNNY" for more than one weather-time-unit consecutively but the bad storms never last long either.

    Simple, reliable, versatile, handy visual aid, and a little more verisimilitudinous than just rolling on a list (note that, in the example flower, you can't enter a bad storm hex unless you started in a rainy hex). Makes sense that people like them. Let's try something with no playtesting instead:


STORMS AS ENCOUNTERS


Yes, that's a hexmap of Middle Earth. It was the first appropriately sized map I found.

    Here's the pitch: The weatherflowers operate like a hexmap, so let's try putting them on a hexmap. Treat them like creatures (purplecthulhu gave me this link when I described this idea; it's good stuff and you should check it out as well). When you roll a d6 for the weatherflower this instead determines in which direction the storm moves. This allows weather to pass over the players while they stand still, allows players to see storms coming and outrun them or hunker down, allows tracking of weather in areas not immediately surrounding the players, and whatever other applications you can think of.

    Here are a few examples (hurricanes "slide" across mountains, wildfires stall on mountains and water, swarms swarm):

NORMAL STORM
HD 10, AC as weather, Morale 13
Movement: as hurricane (24").
Morality: no.
Intelligence: none of that either.
Attacks:
Light Blue Drizzle (automatically makes targets damp. Boats move at half speed).
Blue Thunderstorm
(those with metal equipment or otherwise endangered save every 10 minutes or are struck with lightning. Boats as Drizzle, but also move at half speed in a random direction).
Dark Blue Hurricane (unarmored enemies save every 10 minutes or are struck with flying debris, 1d6 blunt damage. those with metal equipment or otherwise endangered are struck with lightning. Boats as Thunderstorm, but also save or are damaged).
Abilities: Normal Storms are invulnerable to mundane weapons and magical weapons not specifically enchanted to harm Normal Storms. For the purposes of magic, Normal Storms are not "alive" and are not in a spell's area-of-effect unless entirely engulfed or the spell says otherwise. They take 6 damage every time they roll to move.

    This one might be encountered on the high seas, or in coastal areas during the rainy season. Fairly standard. It "dies" after a certain amount of time, depending on its HD roll and if the players know any spells which can hurt storms.



GREAT FIRE
HD 5, AC as fire, Morale 12
Movement: as wildfire (12").
Morality: hungry for destruction-with-fire (Chaotic Neutral).
Intelligence: animal.
Attacks:
Yellow Smoke (stench of burning, sounds of death).
Orange Fire (flammable objects destroyed, flammable creatures take 1d6 damage per round unless protected).
Pink Hellfire (non-bedrock objects destroyed, flammable creatures die, inflammable creatures take 1d6 damage per round).
Black Salamander Court (creatures with less than 12 charisma take 1d6 damage a round. possible to perform the Rite of Agni).
Abilities: Great Fires are invulnerable to mundane weapons and magical weapons not specifically enchanted to harm Great Fires. Great Fires are immune to fire and lightning damage. They take 6 damage every time they roll to move.

    I like the idea of a vaguely-malicious wildfire as an enemy. If you want that Rite of Agni (whatever it is), you're going to have to either snake your way into the center through the normal fire in the orange hexes or figure out a way to survive the hellfire in the pink ones.



SPIDERSTORM
HD 20, AC as swarm, Morale 9
Movement: as spiders (18").
Morality: careless with lives, obedient to the Spider Mother (Lawful Evil).
Intelligence: stupid, jumpy, prone to biting.
Attacks:
Brown Recluses (unprotected meat is painfully bitten, disease follows if not swiftly cared for).
Black Wolves (harmless but hand-sized spiders swarm over everything, hirelings and animals refuse to continue).
Red Widows (unprotected meat is painfully bitten, save every ten minutes or seize out frothily).
Hazel See-Me-Nots (unprotected meat is painlessly implanted, eggs hatch in 3 days and baby spiders pour forth).
White Spider Mother (4th level Priestess of Lolth casts spells on creatures).
Abilities: Spiderstorms follow swarm rules (if you don't have swarm rules: takes 0 damage from attacks but automatically fails saves and the like). If its Spider Mother is killed the Spiderstorm also dies.
Spells: Envenomate, Flesh to Webbing, Lesser Polymorph (Giant Spider), Web and Ten-Thousand Hungry Children. 4MD, mishaps and dooms as Priestess of Lolth
    Spiderstorm! Incidentally:

Priestess of Lolth (Wizard School)


Perk: You may speak with venomous creatures at-will. Spiders will serve you loyally, and will spin web and bite at your command. Other venomous creatures aren't necessarily obedient, but will be friendly and non-aggressive.
Drawback: Spiderstick. Your fingers are always a little tacky — not enough to climb with, but enough to be inconvenient at the worst possible times.

Cantrips:
1. When you pass through a doorway or narrow opening, you may cross it with delicate and near-invisible threads.
2. You may choose to bleed silk rope instead of blood, 10' per hitpoint lost.
3. At-will, once per night, permanently increase the length of your teeth by 1d6 inches. This replaces missing teeth and you may file them down (given sturdy tools).

Spells:
  1. Envenomate. Envenomates.
  2. Web. As the Wizard spell.
  3. Spiderclimb. Ditto.
  4. Urticating Bristles. Sprout defensive equipment.
  5. Ballooning. Flying, but spider-themed.
  6. Flesh to Webbing. Like it says.
  7. Webbing to Flesh. Ditto.
  8. Lesser Polymorph. Random: 1. Giant Spider 2. Normal Spider 3. Hot Elf.
  9. Dimension Trapdoor. Like a Dimension Door, but there's a huge fuckin' spider in there.
  10. Ten Thousand Hungry Children. Like a Cloudkill but way, way worse.

Mishaps:
  1. Your dice return to your pool only on a result of 1 or 2 for 24 hours.
  2. Take d6 damage, adding the result to your [sum].
  3. Spell cannot be cast again for 24 hours. 
  4. Spell fails entirely, instead you cast [Sum] Times Ten Thousand Confused, Imminently Mortal Children
  5. Gain X eyeballs for 24 hours, where X is your current number of eyeballs. Every time you reach a new pinnacle of eyes, depth perception is impaired for the duration.
  6. Gain X limbs for 24, where X is your current number of limbs. Every time you reach a new pinnacle of limbs, movement is impaired for the duration.

Dooms:
  1. Gain X eyeballs, where X is your current number of eyeballs. Every time you reach a new pinnacle of eyes, depth perception is impaired for the duration.
  2. Gain X limbs, where X is your current number of limbs. Every time you reach a new pinnacle of limbs, movement is impaired for the duration. 
  3. Turn into a sexy drider. For every doom past this one, gain X eyeballs and X limbs.

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

The People Who Have Really Made History (GLΔG Class: Wizard)

    What's GLΔG? Read here. In short, "character advancement" through narrative triggers. These aren't quite the same as GLOG classes, since theoretically one could finish all of them (though this could take a while).



   It's safest to begin as an apprentice to another Magician, but nothing prevents a young Wise One with more talent than sense from experimenting alone.

(0) Power
    Find an object of Power; usually a grimoire which has passed through many hands, but perhaps the skull of an archmage or a gem that whispers to you in the back of your skull. If you lose it, find another.
    You are a magician of the first rank. Other magicians recognize you, and you recognize them. You can detect magic by scent, taste and touch. If you meet Death you recognize him immediately. If you can't grow a beard you should buy a fake one or the other magicians will make fun of you.

(1) Light
    Keep a staff (at least as long as you are tall) by your side for a month. It may rest by you as you sleep or lie in the back of your cart, but if you relinquish it in any meaningful way, start again.
    Hold your staff up before you, mutter some magical syllables, and light as bright as a torch blazes from the tip. The light shines until you stop muttering or allow the staff to touch the ground.
    With greater power, this is sunlight which blinds or destroys dark things vulnerable to it.

(1) Lock-Knock
    Form a padlock and key from a kilo of silver (expect this to cost as much as a good horse), and place the key into the lock. If anyone removes the key from the lock, scrap them and start again with fresh material.
    If your padlock is locked, mundane doors lock with a touch; if your padlock is unlocked, mundane doors open with a touch. When your padlock changes states all doors you have cast this on change to match. Operating the door with its real key ends the effect.
    With greater power, you can slam mundane doors or burst them open with a pointed finger and a shout. With supreme power, you may choose to destroy doors instead of opening them, and doors you close can only be opened with violence.

(1) Fog
    Spend a full day, without sleep, completely blinded by a fogbank. Certain mountains can be relied upon for this. If the fog clears, start again.
    Huff, puff, and breathe out. Every round, exhale about twenty liters of fog. Circular breathing helps here. Your fog disperses with five minutes of direct sunlight or brisk wind, or a few moments after you stop breathing it out.
    With greater power, this fog can be impenetrably obscuring, like cotton batting, and unbreathable for creatures not yourself. With supreme power, this fog can be unbreathable for you and lethally toxic for others.

(1) Carry
    Heave around as much silver in a sack as you can physically lift for a full week. Speak to it as if it were a close friend of yours. If it touches the ground, or someone refers to it as a sack of bullion and you do not argue, start again.
    At your command, an invisible force will follow you for eight hours. It can carry as much as you, and while it prefers wheelchair ramps it may climb stairs veeeery slowly. This force refuses to work more than eight hours in a day.
    With greater power, this force is as spry as you are (or as you were, if you're now old and arthritic), and can easily keep up with you even when carrying a full load of treasure. It may carry things to and from an area if you wish, but it still won't work for more than eight hours a day.

(1) Missile
    Keep a wand (at least as long as your forearm) by your side for a month. It may rest by you as you sleep or wait in a sheathe under your clothes, but if you relinquish it in any meaningful way, start again.
    Wave your wand before you, shout a magic syllable, and a bolt flies from the tip. It strikes a point you choose, unerringly, as if with your closed fist.
    With greater power, this is a bolt of supernal force which may disrupt spells and punch ghosts.

(1) Hand
    Become fucking ripped. If using 3d6-generated stats, you're going to need at least a 15. The old-fashioned way works, but if you have magic to make you (permanently) buff that will also suffice.
    With a series of magical gestures, you may move small objects with thirty feet of you as if you held them in your fingers. This doesn't apply enough motive force to deal damage with melee weapons (they desync from your control and fall), but you could pull a trigger, or draw a razor across someone's throat. You drop the object immediately when you stop making the gestures.
    With greater power, this moves objects you can see as if you were carrying them across your shoulders. This does apply enough motive force to deal melee damage, and can fling furniture or toss people around.

(1) Disguise Self
    Change your name to something appropriately magical, like Xodorn, or Radamandafandalaster, or Thubarin Thorpein III. Destroy all references to your old self. If another is discovered you know of it immediately, and must destroy it before using this ability again.
    By applying a paste of cold cream, fine albero and oil-of-roses, you may drastically change someone's appearance. You can alter apparent age, gender or race, and alter height by an inch or weight by twenty pounds or so.
    With greater power, you may disguise someone as any living creature larger than a hobbit and smaller than an orc. With supreme power, you may disguise objects and terrain in a similar manner.

(2) Greater Power
    There are many ways to gain more power... you could sacrifice a virgin and let their blood flow onto your object of Power, eat the heart of a Greater Magician, or gain the patronage of an Alien; but you could find other ways.
    You are a magician of the second rank. Your hair is now white and your eyes are now unusual in some way (your choice), and weaker magicians fear you. Mundane creatures who lock eyes with you cannot break eye-contact until you blink. Unciphered text is readable to you with strenuous study, even if you don't know the language. You can grow a beard, even if you couldn't before.

(2) Sleep
    Learn how to brew a potion of Living Death, drink it, voyage to the land of dreams, steal an eye from its queen. In the waking world this is a pink pearl. If you lose it you must find another.
    Those who speak to you for at least a minute fall into a deep and dreamless sleep, if you wish. This is natural sleep from which they will wake in eight hours if not awakened, and you may only affect one person at a time.
    With greater power, you may cause someone to sleep with a shouted command, or lull them into permanent (until dispelled) stasis with at least a minute of conversation. With supreme power, you may apply this to as many people who can hear you at once.

(2) Invisibility
    For a year and a day, do not interact with thinking creatures. If any see your form or hear your voice, start again.
    While concealed under a hooded robe, no one takes notice of your presence unless specifically looking for intruders (or weirdos in hooded robes).
    With greater power, you cannot be seen if you do not wish. With supreme power, you cannot be detected in mundane ways, until someone actually bumps into you.

(2) Feather
    Throw a dozen creatures, at least as large as a child and possessing enough intelligence to brace for impact and scream, from a cliff at least one hundred feet high. Record their behavior and the results. If you lose your notes, start again.
    With a series of magical gestures, a falling object has 1% of its actual mass until you stop performing the gestures or it touches the ground. The law of gravity dictates that it theoretically fall at the same speed as before, but in edge cases like humans in air buoyancy becomes an important force.
    With greater power, you may reduce a falling object's mass to 1% of 1%, causing most things to float up like a balloon. With supreme power, a creature affected by this spell may (if you wish) move perpendicular to the ground at walking speed.

(2) Hideous Laughter
    Laugh until your voice is a half-whispered rasp and you're coughing blood. When it heals (three days at first, up to a week eventually), start again.
    You can force another creature to imitate your cackling laughter, preventing both of you from speaking or whispering magic syllables for as long as you laugh.
    With greater power, this prevents them (but not you) from holding objects or making magical gestures. With supreme power, as many creatures as you wish will imitate your laughter if they can hear you.

(2) Haste-Slow
    Form an hourglass from glass and a kilo of gold, and fill it with precious stones to serve as sand (expect this to cost about 100 times the lock-and-key, or a prince's ransom). The hourglass functions if kept hidden somewhere, so long as you know where it is. If you lose or break the hourglass, start again.
    If your hourglass is right-side up, you may move and think in double speed at-will. If inverted, you may move and think at half speed at-will.
    With greater power, you may apply this to another creature instead of yourself. With supreme power, you may fine-tune the flow of time between ten times slower and ten times faster for the affected creature.

(2) Powerful Word
    Learn an ancient word in the Occulted Language. Before you can speak it, tattoo its hanzi on your tongue. If you have no tongue, tattoo it inside your throat.
    With a shouted word, inflict a moment of agony in all those who hear. The deaf are unaffected; those with the word's hanzi tattooed behind their ears understand what you are saying.
    With greater power, your pronunciation shifts, and this word may stun for a full minute — but as you know it's coming, you are only stunned for about ten seconds. With supreme power, this word instantly kills mortals, no save.

(3) Supreme Power
    There are a few ways to gain this power... you could sacrifice a legendary fighter, a master thief and a powerful wizard and allow their blood to flow onto your object of Power, eat the heart and eyes of a Supreme Magician, or sell your soul to an Alien; there are other ways but they will be very difficult.
    You are a magician of the third rank. Your eyes see in darkness. Animals and small children hate you instinctively. You do not age, and while your beard grows down to your heart you cannot be reduced below zero hitpoints. Elfs and other elder-things offer grudging respect.

(3) Polymorph
    Vivisect a bull, a bear, a cat, a fox, an owl, an eagle, and an additional six creatures as sapient as you are, and record your findings. If you lose your notes, start again.
    With several hours of careful tattooing, and a sharp blow to the base of the skull, you may alter the form of a living person (including yourself). You may set their physical stats to any value you wish, change their apparent age, gender and race, or some combination thereof. Anyone capable of Polymorph can reverse these changes, effortlessly if the tattoos remain and with study and care otherwise.
    With greater power, you may Polymorph animals or turn humans (physically) into animals. With supreme power you may alter mental stats as well, and insert, alter or remove memories.

(3) Lightning
    Be struck by lightning, survive, and be struck by lightning again. If you die, start again.
    With a series of magical gestures you can generate a fistful of cracking sparks. They will discharge, painfully, with skin contact or when a metal object you are holding hits a metal object someone else is is contact with, and dissipate when you stop making the gestures.
    With greater power, the point into which the sparks discharge is probably struck by lightning, weather permitting. With supreme power the sparks leap forth of their own volition, badly scorching their target and siderating it from a clear blue sky

(3) Fireball
    Feed someone important to you into a bonfire. If they live, start again.
    You know how to create an alchemical substance which, when heated or struck or looked at funny, burns near-instantly in a bright flash and a loud snapping sound. It can only be (safely) transported in a container of water. When poured on the ground in sufficient quantities this creates a terrifying wall of fire for a few moments. When dried into a tiny pellet it may be flung from the hand or a sling for a frightening bit of fire-working.
    With greater power you may (safely) form this substance into charges the size of an apple, which explode like grenadoes when thrown. With supreme power your blood, if mixed into the substance, prevents it from exploding until you will it, allowing you to (safely) use large amounts of it to undermine walls or burn crowds of people to death.

(3) Doorway
    Become really, truly, totally lost for a year and a day. If you learn where you are or are spoken to in your native tongue, start again.
    With a series of gestures, rip the seams which hold time and space together. If done carefully this won't draw the attention of anything powerful and unpleasant. You may use this tear in reality to scry into places you have seen before, or which can be clearly described to you. The tear is visible from the other side. Nearby Magicians may be able to sense its creation.
    With greater power you may, over the course of several weeks, build a ritual gate from large amounts of precious metals and stones. This allow you to tear more stable holes in reality which are large enough to be walked through. If there is a gate on the other side you may travel back and forth freely, otherwise it is a one-way trip. The target location of the gate may be changed in an hour-long ritual. With supreme power the gate needs not lead to anywhere real; it may instead open onto a private demiplane, whose physical laws are yours to command. This makes learning other spells easy. It also makes you vulnerable to the Old Things that live Outside, swimming in illimitable gulfs of night and darkness where the dead do not rest and the living do not survive.



    You could develop your spells without ever becoming a Greater or Supreme Magician — but this is increasingly impractical as you grow in age and number of enemies. And really, the benefits far outweigh the costs. Were you even using that soul?

Thursday, April 1, 2021

Nepenthe on the Mountain (GLOG Microadventure)

    I have something special for you freaks today. In 1986 I commissioned an artist named Vinh Khoa to draw a graphic novel for the Unfinished World. Don't believe me? Well, here it is: