With the Worms Down in Mexico (GLOG Class: Fighter)

    The Hydra’s head glinted in the afternoon light and replied; that I didn't have to try to destroy it. That some dark things may live in caves. That the sun was not entitled to reach its grasping fingers into every corner. That not every hero of antiquity received a shrine; that some lost their thread in the Labyrinth; and some grew tired, and rested by a lake, before they mounted their horse and returned to a familiar roadhouse.

    I've described a few characters in my games as "gunmen" or "gunslingers", and have intended this to signify that they are more than mere fellas-who-are-armed-with-firearms — but I've never written any ideas down concretely. Consider this my attempt to repay my damages. Compare and contrast this class to my Zorro, to Walfalcon's excellent Rigatoni Cowboy, to Squig's Gun Priest, and to Spiceomancy's Eboshi.
    For those UW lore-heads in the audience: this class uses a corrupted form of Manufacturing, in the manner of the Wizened, Illuminated, Oiled and Unfettered Paladins in their respective ways and Arts.

    Guns, too, were invented by the g_ds. But their use has always marked one as parted from their grace: the sword-shepherd knows the secrets of swords and bows, not combat shotguns and assault rifles. Lead is a dark mirror to gold, just as seeds bring new life and powder takes it away. Perhaps you were a mistake.

Source: Sketchtember: Gunslinger by Trollfeetwalker

Class: Gunman

    Gunmen have a pool of a resource called grit. This resource fills up your inventory slots, like chi. If something else (i.e. exhaustion, disease, points of obesity, something you really really need to carry) would occupy an inventory slot already occupied by grit, you take 1 point of damage. When you drink a finger (~2 ounces) of whiskey or other spirit, you gain a point of drunkenness and may fill one slot with grit. A fifth of whiskey takes up 1 slot on its own, and contains ~12 fingers. You may spend only 1 point of grit per round per [template] in this class. For each of the following accoutrements you may spend 1 additional grit per round:

• ten-gallon hat, which is invariably destroyed by the end of any gunfight
• jangling spurs, which announce your presence loudly
• costly engravings on your favorite gun, which confer no tactical advantage whatsoever. 

    You can wear light and medium armor, wield firearms, knives, hatchets, clubs and staffs, and can ride a horse.

Skills: 1. Heavy machinery 2. Astrology 3. Gambling
Starting Equipment: Heavy leathers (as leather), doomed hat (ten-gallons), snapchance (a Horse Pistol), powderhorn (contains 10 doses of powder), bullet pouch and molds (1 slot), hunting knife (light weapon), empty flask (holds 4 fingers, 1/3rd slot)

• A Grit, Dead Eye
• B Bad Idea
• C Killing Hand
• D Hour of Vision

Grit
    You may spend any amount of grit to add an equivalent bonus to your to-hit and damage rolls made with a firearm. You may spend 1 point of grit when struck with a projectile: if you do, a dented iron plate falls out from beneath your shirt, and you take 1d6 damage instead of what the projectile actually dealt. Finally, you may spend 1 point of grit to pull the trigger of a gun to fire it. "But Michael", I hear you whine ineffectually, "can't normal people also do that?" No, buffoon. Normal people may only pull the trigger of a loaded gun to fire it. This doesn't grant you extra attacks, unless you're fighting something you don't need to aim at to hit — in which case feel free to use all the grit you're allowed.
Dead Eye
    Your skill is inimitable. Attacks with a gun cleave and, within 30', hit touch AC. Those who closely examine your face notice metallic flecks in your sclera.

Bad Idea
    You may spend a week of downtime drawing up a blueprint for a gun impossible for anyone else to manufacture, or fire, or understand the basic principle of operation thereof. See the list at the bottom of this class for the basic templates for guns. If you make it yourself (like, roll-the-barrel mold-the-trigger shape-the-wheel make it yourself, in a gunsmith's shop), you can add one of the following features per template in this class:

1. Inverted Rifling. +2 to-hit.
2. Sharpened Bullets. Bullets sunder shields on hit, and can drill 1' into solid surfaces.
3. Skeletonized Grip, Stock, Barrel. Occupies half its usual inventory slots.
4. Shoots the Entire Cartridge. Bumps up damage dice.
5. Medical-Grade Steel. After a fight, pressing the red-hot barrel against one person's wounds heals 1d8 damage or the amount of damage taken in the fight, whichever is lower.
6. Itchy Trigger. Springs to your hand at the start of a fight, over obstacles and through locked doors, from up to 30' away.
7. Shaped like a Big Key. Can make an attack roll instead of a lockpicking roll.
8. Double-Chambered. Has double the capacity of a normal gun of its type.
9. Greased Hammer. +2 initiative, somehow.
10. Attached Handmirror. The bullet may bank up 90° midair.
11. False Double Load. Once per fight, a miss was just a feint; immediately attack again.
12. Really, Really, Really Long Barrel. Range is doubled. Hits touch AC within 60'.
13. Gun Bullets. After a successful attack, may make another attack against another target within range of the first target.

Killing Hand
    Your hands are webbed with dark veins of lead wire, just under the skin. Other gunslingers will know their own. You may operate a two-handed weapon in one hand, and if dual-wielding one-handed weapons may make two attacks on your turn, one with each. For 3 grit, you may fire a bullet at anything within 30' by pointing a finger and saying "bang". Deals 2d6 damage, and requires an attack roll in combat.

Hour of Vision
    The lead's reached the brainstem. All the secrets of gunslinging are open to you. When you see the pattern — you know the one, just count to six — you'll know another gunman passed this way. You can leave messages for each other, and caches. Keep your powder dry, brother.

Simple Gun Rules:
    Muzzle-loaders take one minute (ten combat rounds) to reload (this includes swabbing to prevent fouling), so typically you can't do this in a fight. Firing a black-powder gun produces a thick cloud of unpleasant smoke: outdoors an extended gunfight may obscure an area, indoors it may render a room chokingly uninhabitable until the smoke dies down. Firing a gun is, of course, very loud, and may provoke rolls on the Wandering Monster Table. Bullets can easily be recovered, scavenged, and made over the campfire at night. Powder cannot easily be handmade, and generally can only be purchased at market towns and cities.
    These guns have "bonus damage triggers", stolen from squigboss. When you meet the requirements of the trigger, you roll 1d12 along with the normal damage and take the higher number as your result. This is more valuable for smaller guns, of course, but is still useful for large and powerful firearms.
    Finally, guns have a Control rating, corresponding to how heavy and cumbersome they are to aim and how hard they kick. The Control rating is subtracted from to-hit rolls. Your own strength bonus is subtracted from the Control rating — it cancels out the malus, but can't give you a bonus. I hope that's a clear enough rule. Like, if your gun is a C2 and you have a strength of +1, you have a -1 to-hit malus, and if your strength is +2 it's canceled out entirely, and if you have a +3 it's still canceled out, you don't get bonus to-hit. Does that make sense. I'm sure you're smart enough to figure this out.

Example Firearms:

1. Gentleman's Companion, 1d8 damage, one shot, 20' range, one-handed, C1. 1/3rd slot. Trigger: Your target didn't know you had a gun.
2. Horse Pistol, 2d6 damage, one shot, 30' range, one-handed. 1 slot. Trigger: You didn't take a step this round.
3. Enormous Revolver, 2d6 damage, six shots (each needs to be reloaded individually), 30' range, one-handed, C1. 1 slot. Trigger: Spend two shots.
4. Rook Gun, 3d4 damage, two shots, 20' range, two-handed. 2 slots. Trigger: Your target is unarmored.
5. Hunting Rifle, 2d8 damage, two shots, 60' range, two-handed, C2. 2 slots. Trigger: Your target's head is below your boots.
6. Blunderbuss, 3d6 damage, one shot (requires 2x normal powder charge), 30' range, two-handed. 2 slots, C2. Trigger: Your target is charging you.

Give Weight to Smoke (GLOG Class: Pyromancer)

They are firing, we are falling, and the red skies rend and shiver us,
Barbara, Barbara, we may not loose a breath —
Be at the bursting doors of doom, and in the dark deliver us,
Who loosen the last window on the sun of sudden death.

    This "pyromancer" is a barbarian, more properly. This is a post for the long-suffering Eos of Noblesse Goblige, who has been waiting for this class for two years.

Source: Dark Souls - Pyromancer by Pizza-Surgeon

    The g_ddess known as Fireball is a terrible three-eyed angel. Her domain is fire. Pyromancers are those who can communicate with the fire — not, as is commonly believed, wizards who produce fire through magic; the Pyromancers light fires themselves to have someone to talk to. Fire is man's oldest friend (flint was first but we aren't friends any more). He's a charming conversationalist, but a bad influence overall. Together the two of you will work Her ends in the world.

Class: Pyromancer

    For you, rage is gift from your g_ddess. Your flame is partly of Fireball, and partly of of your own body. It develops right along with your skill. Pyromancy is the ultimate fantasy; a tiny spark of Creation a man can hold in his clenched fist.
    As a Pyromancer, you never fumble while using hatchets, knives, clubs, staffs, flails and other farming equipment. You can wear light or medium armor, may wield shields, and know how to ride a horse.

Skills: 1. Wetlands survival 2. Stonecutting 3. Library science
Starting Equipment: A Pyromancy flame, sturdy handaxe (light), tattered survivalist gear (as unarmored, -1 reaction with authorities, +2 reaction with outcasts), cracked round shield (as a shield, but breaks the first time you take a critical hit), two other starting gifts from the list below

• A Kundalini, Three Eyes, +2 SNEK
• B Fireball, +1 HP
• C Vain Things, +2 SKLL
• D Other Side, +1 HP

Kundalini
    You express your devotion to your g_ddess of flames by demonstrating your trust. At the beginning of each day, you must thrust your hands into a bonfire and grasp a burning brand. Doing this means you are immune to small and conventional flames (fiery swords; burning arrows; sparks and cinders; briefly thrusting your gnarled, scarred hands into a bonfire) and take half damage from large or supernatural flames (Fireball, explosions, housefires, the fire of other Pyromancers). If you miss a day, the next time you do this you aren't immune to the fire until the ritual is completed; you take 1d6 points of damage to your dexterity as your hands blister and burn (stat damage heals at a rate of 1 per day).

Three Eyes
    Each time you enter a rage, you may select one of the following Pyromancies to be able to use until the next time you regain Rage. Each Pyromancy has a certain number of uses before it is depleted. You don't need to be in a rage to use these Pyromancies, but all unused uses (note to G.R. Michael: rephrase that) are lost when you regain your Rage.

1. Fire Bolt. 6 uses. Produce a fiery dart in your hand, then strike an enemy or throw it 20' as a knife that deals 1d6+[level] fire damage. Shatters fragile objects, and sterilizes wounds as it makes them. 
2. Combustion. 10 uses. Extend a 15' cone of of heat out of your hand, igniting flammable objects and dealing 1d8+[level] fire damage to creatures who fail a save.
3. Iron Flesh. 3 uses. Touch someone and say a little prayer, replacing their body with a crude cast-iron layfigure for one minute or ten rounds. They gain [level] points of DR and lose most of the weaknesses of the mortal body, but are unable to float in water, climb ladders, or move faster than a painful limp. If they die in this form, the change is permanent.
   
4. Flash Sweat. 3 uses. Touch a creature on their furnace chakra (their tummy), and they begin to sweat profusely for one minute or ten rounds. This is a good, healthful effect, rather like a sauna, and gives the target a +[level] bonus to saves, and resistance to mundane fire (if they don't have that already).
   
5. Evil Vapor. 2 uses. A complex set of gestures fills a 10' cube with toxic smoke which deals 1d6 poison damage every round to breathing things.
6. Warmth. 4 uses. Produces a glowing orb in front of you while you maintain concentration, which heals nearby creatures (whether friend or foe) for 1 HP a round for [level] rounds.
   

Fireball
    You are no wizard, and you control no spells. You call upon your g_ddess and, like a scorned lover — She is here! You can spend Rage as if it were MD to cast Fireball; results of 1, 2 or 3 return to your Rage pool.

Fireball
R: 200' T: a point with an unobstructed path from the caster D: instant
A bead of flame flies from the caster's outstretched hand and races to the target point. Upon impact, it blossoms into a fireball of [dice]*10' radius, generally conforming to the space (care must be taken when casting underground), and dealing [sum] damage to all creatures caught in the deflagration, save for half.

Vain Things
    
    The fire knows many strange and wonderful things (which he doesn't really care about because it isn't related to fuel). Songs, legends, histories, and even the memories of the pyromancers of old are kept safe and warm in the heart of the fire. If you write a name on a piece of paper (preferably in their native tongue) and cast it into flames, you will learn your target's HD, any class levels they have, and whether the fire considers their hands to be Spotless, Stained or Dripping with Crimson.
    If you have some piece of spoor (poo will do, but hair or blood, fragments of equipment, and especially any object they once kept close is best) you may burn it to learn one of the following pieces of information (possibly more, for a significant clew):

1. their name
   
2. their physical appearance
   
3. the sound of their voice
4. the location of their hearth
   
5. their most notable deed
6. who it is they serve

    If you burn a poppet that wears some piece of their clothing, with some scrap of their hair on its head, with some of their blood in its heart, and with a lovingly-detailed face, you can learn all of the following pieces of information:

1. their exact current location
2. their next immediate course of action
3. what they love most
   
4. what they fear most
   

Other Side
    These are generally considered to be the greatest expressions of Pyromancy. This is wrong, of course. There's more and better out there.

1. Fire Storm. 4 uses. Spend a turn kowtowing and screaming. Small flames erupt out of the ground around you. At the beginning of your next turn, these small flames explode into pillars of fire, dealing 2d6+[level] fire damage  (save for half) to all creatures within 20' of you. Likely to provoke morale checks from animals and undisciplined combatants. 
2. Fire Lash. 4 uses. Produce a billowing flame in your hand, heavy and solid like a length of chain, and swing it in an arc in front of you. All creatures within whipping-range save; if they fail, they take 1d6+[level] fire damage and must make a dexterity check; if they fail that one too, they are tossed back 10' onto their ass 
   
3. Arete Beacon. 2 uses. Mark a holy symbol on your brow or the brow of a friend. For one minute, or ten turns, bright light beams 60' out from their face. They have a +1 bonus to all attack and damage rolls for the duration. The bonus increases by 1 each time they strike an enemy.
   
4. Touch of the Sacred. 1 use. Reach out your hand and touch a creature (touch AC is 10) or object, and fill them with a little bit of your fire. You can always find your way to this fire. At will, you may have it detonate for [charisma] damage, no save.
   
5. Watchful Serpent. 2 uses. Bring your hands together, then bring them out smartly. A pillar of flame rises from the ground, then coils 'round like a living thing. The Watchful Serpent attacks as a Fast Horse, but all fiery and so forth.
   
6. Power Within. The grace of your g_ddess fills you, scalp to heels. All damage you deal, by any means, is doubled. You lose 1 hitpoint per turn for [max HP] turns.
   

If measured by a glass,
How long would you be burning! Let there pass
A minute, ten, ten trillion minutes; but the blaze
Is infinite and eternal: this is death.
To die and know it, this is the Black Widow; death.

Some secrets must never be shared, even with the grave.

Starting Gifts:

1. Pyromancy Flame. What power art thou, to bid this piece of heaven descend, mingle with thy flesh, arise at thy voice? Sheds 10' of bright light when held in the hand. 0 slots.
   
2. Sturdy Handaxe. A light weapon with a well-worn handle and a well-cared-for blade.
   
3. Tattered Survivalist Gear. Despite its raggedy appearance, it's quite warm and dry, and nearly fireproof. 0 slots worn, 2 slots carried.
   
4. Six black firebombs. Comedic floppy fuse. Can be hucked 20' for 1d6 fire damage and 1d6 shrapnel-type damage (a new kind I've just come up with), save for half. 1/3rd slot each.
   
5. Noble-blooded Pony. Doesn't respond to "ho there" or "woahah" or "hee-hie" or "aow-aow-aow!" any other nonsense; only to "sir".
   
6. Bottle of holy water. This is Fireball's holy water, to be specific. The g_ddess of fire — listen it's diesel. This is a jerrycan of diesel. 2 slots.
   
7. Binoculars. Work a beaut. 1 slot.
   
8. Quicksand Pole. Ten feet long, helps to distribute your weight when sinking in quicksand. Optimistically, yours has fifteen feet of waxed cord attached to one end, and a small brass barb.
   
9. Master Key. 2-in-6 locks will respond to vigorous thrusting.
   
10. Lightning Whetstone. A whetstone of catseye sapphire. The flaw in its heart resembles a bolt of lightning. Blades sharpened by it for one minute are imbued with the sapphire's essence, and their next three blows deal lightning damage instead of cutting/slashing.
    
11. Three Swan Tokens. Cast the token on the ground, name the recipient of the message, and speak up to three simple (the adjective subject adverbally verbs the adjective object) sentences. A faceless swan, with knives instead of feet, will attempt to deliver the message. It may take a while. The swan may not try very hard.
    
12. Cox Cone. Attaches to your face to greatly magnify your voice. Looks splendidly stupid, and is uncomfortable to wear.
    
13. A hammer and a pack of 10 eighteen-inch iron spikes. 1 slot each.
    
14. Skull Lantern. Technically a bullseye lantern, which shines candlelight through eyeholes and grin and so-forth. A real skull? 1 slot.
    
15. Impressive Boots. Knee-high and debossed with monastic precision. Across the two boots, one may read panels of rich symbolism which tell a tale of a deep, deep kingdom of the mountain, where there lived a cruel king with too many sons. Gives you +2 AC vs. floor-crawling things. 1 slot.
    
16. Thief's Dagger. A long-handled light weapon, stolen from a bandit. May be two-handed for 1d8 damage.
    
17. The Ten Lifetimes, being a strange tale of a seemingly-immortal shipwright and alcoholic from the eastern regions of the Deltan archipelagoes. When handy as reference, grants an extra roll on checks to repair or maintain. 1/3rd slot.
    
18. Red Flesh Pin. A gruesome little decoration, resembling an orchid, or perhaps a partially-disassembled organ. Pyromancers who choose this pin at character creation recognize each other on sight.
    
19. Quart of Javel-water. Powerfully damaging to slimes, insects, and other unclean things, who will not cross a puddle of it on the floor. 1 slot.
    
20. A weird or inexplicable curio. Roll 1d6:
    
    1. Hungry Ferret Puppet. This sockpuppet extends up to 30', and can swallow objects small enough to be concealed in your palm. 
    2. A golden cup, studded with jewels. Almost priceless. Marked with the words PROVIDED FOR TRAVELERS BY THE LARGESS OF COUNT STRAHD.
    3. Little Fellow's Ring. You don't rightly know what this does, but the band is a cheap copper and the grey stone has a tiny 🏃 etched on it absolutely tearing ass.
       
    4. Fairy Wallet. A small leather pouch, marked with a greenish diamond. Can hold up to 999 coins, but nothing else. 1/3rd of a slot.
       
    5. Carafe of Karmic Water. A fine brass vessel filled with gently-glowing fluid. Can be emptied, once, to greatly change the layout of a structure or location — expect fine bridges, precipate stairways, and great and terrible machines. 1 slot.
       
    6. Cicatrix wheel. Fragile sticks bound together in a circle design and coated in tar. Sacrifice upon taking any one wound to take no damage, but gain a horrible ugly circle scar in proportion with the damage negated
       

20 Soulslike Bosses

In imitation of a friend of the blog.

Source: Solid City, by Paul Klee

1. Wretched Mockery
   Two identical statues, wrought images of your g_d, joined ankle to ankle, wrist to wrist, crooning in a twin voice, "Don't you recognize me? I've been thinking about you every day I've been gone."
   
2. Hellbreaker Refugee
   He killed the sailors who pulled him from the sea, and the beachcombers who found his wreck, and soldiers who came to investigate the strange lights and song. There is no crime he would not stoop to, because there are no punishments left to menace him, save that which he is already sacrificing everything and everyone to flee. 
3. Incurious Manufactory
   Every conversation with him went poorly. Everything had to be about light; its properties, its influence, its limits. In a world like ours, men so devoted to knowledge should count themselves lucky if they are ever allowed to die.
4. Ten Lords Aulus
   His arguments proved conclusively that his neighbors owed him enough koku to feed a city, a suit beyond the dreams of avarice. He was left a fraction when they walled him in his own granary — a large fraction, yes, but surely, surely, not enough to feed him for all these years.
   
5. Heinke, Oubliette Crawler
   "What a fine piece!" Heinke said to himself, "and they just left it down here? Perhaps my employers don't even know what they've got..."
6. Horse-Faced Serpent
   The horses of Icorn are as large as houses, and mightier than ships. But not every behemoth that basks in the sunlight and snaps up crocodiles in its jaws is a horse.
   
7. Sporulating Army
   "And what of the spiders who lived under that hill, the kindly ones who would weave clothing for the poor, and lived only on the potherbs and the mushrooms they grew in their caves, and would not even drink blood?"
   "They found that there is more in the dark than men have forgotten, and that not all of creation is a kindness."
   
8. Gutter-Born Kensei
   He has it — the power — the madness. Look in his eyes. Sometimes they glow with light like gold that burns.
   
9. Zedek the Cupbearer
   Once there was a good servant, and he was so beautiful that his master placed him in the heavens so he would be admired for all time. But beauty fades, and gratitude fades, and heaven is a cold and lonely place where it is not lit by the stars. 
10. The Glorious Compact
    They swore with blood and ink that they would each discover a great secret, and each would share his discovery with his brothers, and so together they would know all things. But if they all meant to keep that promise, why does each member of this ring of dancers have a knife stuck in the back of his neighbor? 
11. Braquemard, Author of the Lilac Sutra
    In the days when the Aeshe (pbuh) traveled between the cities, preaching the Way, he had many followers. Some recorded his teachings, even those they didn't understand. You don't need to understand the Way to master it. The wicked, the greedy, the arrogant; the Great Sage came to instruct them as well.
    
12. Seven-Faced Nurhage
    What hot shame the seventh apprentice must have felt! To hear your master say "You have the skill, and you have the knowledge, but you lack the beauty to share in my immortality", ah! 
    
13. Headless Oksana
    Wise ones say that the dead did not always rise from their graves, as they do now. Does that mean there was some night, after the end of the old order, before the beginning of the new, where a murderer might have been punished by his own hidden crime? 
14. Alive, son of Awake
    Do you say to yourself, "I am the inheritor of the world, I am descendant of Ka"? But G_d could create descendants of Ka from these very trees. You are not safe, even on a far isle, hidden from the rest of mankind. You may not even be alone.
    
15. Emperor's Librarian
    "Live unknown if you would realize your ends.
    Follow the advice of your common sense.
    Good men are their own worst enemies.
    Oblivion is the reward of merit.
    In all the world, good and evil,
    joy and sorrow, are in fact
    only aspects of the void."
    
16. Magalis, Lunatic Poet
    To eyes that see only shades of light, the moon is a dark stone, moving along the ringing grooves of the firmament. But if your eyes could discern lumines of dark you would see a beauty that was hidden even from the g_ds. Don't meet her gaze.
    
17. Thief of Joy
    "Passed from hand to bloody hand, until it reached mine. What else besides a cursed sword could have driven me to do these things? You have to believe me, it whispers, I'm not just another innocent victim. Kill me! Let it end, I've done nothing wrong! But when I'm dead, you have to promise... you have to promise you'll take it from my body" 
18. Sunblind Zamburakchi
    An army set out one autumn morning to see if the lands to the North were full of gold. The rest of their story is long, and hardly worth recounting. Did their loyalty to their commanders extend beyond the border? Did the locals welcome armed strangers warmly? Are the streets of This paved with gold? What do you think? 
19. Royal Death Weasel
    Fed on the finest sweets. Shampooed every day. Wrapped in silk pajamas. Then there were tunnels dug beneath every room, for the weasel. Then there were hasty graves dug in the palace cellars, for the missing servants. And still it grew.
    
20. Cage, 50 Yarrow Stalk Composer
    "Lightning is born from heaven, music is born from the stars." The audience shifts and mutters. "Hierarchy is the nature of the world, music is the nature of time." Someone works a hand free, and tries to pull the hood from their face.
    

For the Wise Ones to Record, for the Idiots to Learn

    On the western edge of the world, north of Los and south of the unfinished continents of the animal-men, is the Basking Coast. It is a cold place, lonely even in company, oppressive even in solitude. The forest was planted before the g_ds fashioned your race. Grim pines, in black bark armor, stretch their limbs out over the pit that leads down to death. Grudgingly the forest allows men take the lives of its sons for firewood, and not a few lives it takes in return, by cold and hunger and savagery under its black canopy. Dead men walk this wood, weeping frozen tears, crying out for a fiery end. Things are buried in the snow that were never given a name, and some of them not dead, but only sleeping.

    The lord of the Basking Coast is called the Heptarch, a crude joke in the whaler-tongue. His hall, the Villa, is draughty but never dark. His walls are decorated with great jaws and barbed harpoons. His subjects are yellow-eyed Kings, iron-collared Builders, sullen gorillas, and men rendered indistinguishable by lamp-black. The people of the Basking Coast have clung to their frigid town, between crashing shore and whispering forest, since their g_d put them there, and will stay until He returns, if they are not driven away or taken by the evil armies.

    Generations ago Artur Hoxha, a widely-respected Gentleman Naturalist, visited the Basking Coast. He wished to write the greatest encyclopedia of all the world, the Nowe Anyangy, containing all the knowledge of men, Kings and monkeys. There is disagreement on whether he succeeded.

On the Whale

"...ye WHALE cometh in many fifes, and it is ye Lord of the Ofean. Some Whales have mighty teeth, and others have fmall teeth, and others no teeth at all. Some Whales are larger than whaling boats, and fome Whales are fmaller. What unites fuch diverfe creatures is ye prefenfe of Oil in their flefh, which is efsential to many Induftrial Profefses, but as everyone knows ye multitudinous ufes of Whale Oil I writeth no more on that subject..."

On the Oliphaunt and the Camelopard

"... ye OLIPHAUNT, in Lofian Oliphaus, meaning: the greateft of the Animals, becaufe the beaft is great. It alfo has a lot to fay about itfelf to that matter. They attribute to him, Docilitatem, great understanding in everything. He even underftands writing, and with his long nofe or trunk, genuinely fpeaking, Probofcide writes. Some time (tefte Klohrus) Oliphaunt wrote these words: IPFE EGO HAEC FCRIPFI & FPOLIA ARETICA DICAVI..."

"...ye Oliphaunt is widevaunted ye Ftupideft Beaft in all ye World, for it feems he goeth about Arfe-Firft and ftumbleth trampl'ing, but this is not fo. He doth but haveth two tails, and two Arfes alikewife. and a great maw and teeth like Great Weapons. Ye tongue of ye Oliphaunt is exfeedingly fine, and fituated fo far back in the mouth, fuch that it is difficult to get a fight of it. Men fay this be for fome purpofe but I know it not..."

"...ye Oliphaunt is a mighty beaft, but no Creature is fo feared and defpifed by ye men of ye Bafking Coaft as the dreadful CAMELOPARD. Alfo yclept Long-Legs & Alden's Horfe, ye Camelopard is known to ftrip trees of their Bark and Needles, and to graze on the Bones of Men to garnifh its own imprefsive fkeleton. In ye Fpring and Fummer, when many Camelopards are born to their mothers, travelers muft be wary, for their Ftride is Fwift, and their hunger for Bones is ftrong..."

On the Mammout

"...ye MAMMOUT be a type of Ife Demon. Fome fay it 'marmot' but I fay they be confufed. It be ye largeft of ye Rodents, and burrowing underneath the ground all its life by ufe of its great tufks, if it comes to furface by chance or artifife of Men, ye Mammout is at onfe killed by funlight, and its bones are made into fine ivory..."

On the Harvestman

"...alfo ye HARVEFT MAN is there, not fo called for his Harveft, becaufe he does not Fow, but on account no Man Haveth more Hair than he. Ye Harveft Man is called a fpider, but only by the Ignoramus, becaufe he has fix limbs, and four are arms. On the Bafking Coaft he liveth by theft and fcavenge, as he does elfewhere. He knowth not the fecrets of Fletching, and from his bow he fires wooden rods adorned by ftrange Herbs and Flora. Fome enterprifing Merchants attempt to fell him arrows from ßheen in exchange for Expenfive Furs, but the cunning Harveft Man will take the arrows firft, and drive off the Merchant after..."

"...I have heard a tale where Vifious Wreckers made camp on the Coaft, intent on driving Whalers to their Doom on the rocks, but were difcovered there by a band of Harveft Men who quickly brought Paladins down on them, to their ill fortune, for like all the Men of the Bafking Coaft, and Kings and Builders, likewife Monkeys too, the Harveft Men depend on the Commerfe of the Whaling Fleet, and its Heptarch..."

On the Sparrow

"...ye FPARROW, alfo yclept ye Fparrowcamel, be ye fecond-largeft bird created by the g_ds, and ye third largeft in Exiftenfe, or fo we have Heard. Defpite its great Wings, it cannot fly but inftead rafeth fafter than a man can flee. Its body is of great Value yet its multitudinous ufes is now unknown to the Civilized World and inftead private to ye Whaler Kings: therefore expoundeth I upon yon anon. Ye aigs of ye Fparrow, being of fuch ftrength and thicknefs, that men may ufe ye fhell of them as cuppes, bowles and lampes. The Bones of the Fparrow are like unto thofe of ye Kings and are as ufeful. their Leather is the greateft in all the world, almoft Maille when firft drefsed and almoft Diamant Fteel when boiled..."

"...ye Feathers of ye Fparrow be ye Crown of ye Fouth, and dear were they indeed to ye Lofian when he yet lived. Great farms had they, wherein were raifed armies upon armies of yon bird. The Cattle furvived the Hufbonder, it might be faid, for the great vifioufnefs in their Hearts, and the warmnefs of their Coat, a quo "Furvive", a furréd life..."

"...on ye Bafking Coaft the Fparrowcamel be a Great Peft. he maketh Fport of men, with trampling and fcourging, and tearing the Beams of their Fhips and Houfes in his Fpurs, and drinking their Oil. few things prey upon ye Fparrowcamel, and fo the men of the Academy fay that Weafels muft be carried from Arel to fteal their young and hunt them fully grown, but the Heptarch fayeth this is a Fool's Plan and will welcome in difafter..."

On the Ice Bee

"...ye Ife Bee is beloved as the fecret worker who layeth up great ftores of Golden Treafure, more valued than gold in olden times. Ye Raifing of this Mafter-Craftfman is wide-thought impofsible, for there is nothing ye Ife Bee loathes more ftrongly than ye ruddy face of a Bee Keeper or ye fickening glower of a Fmoking Lamp, and they love to die to deftroy thefe things. Their coats be Highly Noninflammable, and ye Lint off their hides chokes ye breath, and fo they are hated as much as adored by thofe who walk Ye Paths Up and Ye Paths Down in darknefs and light. Ye Honey of ye bees is what I fpeaketh of here when I fpeaketh of yon Treafure. Emperors would pay diamond-weight for a tafte of olde, and many a Wife One fayeth it has powers to ameliorate fuffering of ye fpirit, and to cleanfe ye body of difeafe and death..."

On the Ounikorn

"...ye Ounikorn, fo-called for its fear of ye mighty Eagle, for its fmall eyes cannot be turned Heavenwards enough to efpy it in the Plunge, be an amphibian creature alike to the Frog and the Flutterby. ye firft porfion of its life be fpent upon Land, where it is confidered the most honorable and notable Game or Quarry in ye whole world, barring only ye Quefting Beaft. When its bulk becomes too great for four legs to fupport, it betaketh itfelf to the Feas where it playeth in the deep and maketh fport of men in their Boats. I wouldft have included a Fketch Illuftrationary, but I could find no man claiming he had ever feen the Thing nor willing to defcribe likewife..."

A Part of the World Burning (GLOG Class: Barbarian)

    The latest engine of death to appear is appalling by its uncanny invincibleness. They hurdle trenches, crawl over shell craters and walk through forest unhalted by intense gunfire. With the death of the dashing romanticism of cavalry, the fighting seemed to take on a mere grim and sordid aspect. A dozen great machines crawling slowly (hardly faster than a man can walk) over the fields, always firing, firing at the soldiers seems somehow less compelling...
        - Weaving with Bright New Threads, a book of prophecy

    Practitioners of Manufacturing fall into two broad categories. The first type, the Manufactory, is a well-educated and respectable sorcerer who practices their Art like an engineer practices his science. The second type is more akin to a madman or a superweapon.

Source: Medieval Steampunk Knight 2 by obyekt

    What is an Armature, I hear you ask? It's a walking forklift, not unlike the Power Loader of Aliens or other exosuits of science fiction. Its function is more fantastical in the Unfinished World — an Armature is, briefly, a metal automaton like one of Vulcan's assistants, crudely bolted onto a human soul which provides it with animation. That's how the cosmology of the UW dictates that it work, but you could throw it into another setting as a product of the Serpentman Empire's attempts at interplanar travel, or as a divine blessing from a god of the forge to his most devoted cleric-hammerers, or as a wacky invention by funny haha smexy burlesque steampunk gnomes.

    I don't know if it's too powerful for your games. I hope that the Armature is (at least at 1st level) roughly equivalent to a barbarian, with an interesting dungeon-crawling twist of being very good at lifting the lids off of stone sarcophagi, setting off traps, and kicking down doors. You could lean into its random-encounter-provoking loud clankery if you wanted to add more consequences to its use.

Source: prototype Big Daddy, I think

Class: Armature

    You are an Armature, a man-machine, pilot and mechanism both, one soul in two bodies. Your changing form is fueled by the substance of Manufacturing. You have a pool of this substance equal to your maximum HP. When you would regain any amount of HP, you may choose to regain that much substance instead. 
    As an Armature, you may wear medium armor and use spears, guns and shields. You gain +1 to intelligence-related checks for every [template] you have in this class.

Skills: 1. Metallurgy, 2. Military History, 3. Court etiquette.
Starting Equipment: Concealed pistol (light, 10’ range), heavy leathers (as leather, weight like chain, half damage from fire), trigonometry text

• A Two Bodies
  
• B Customization
• C Assault Configuration
• D One Soul

Two Bodies
    You are a practitioner of the First Art and have a pool of substance like a Manufactory. Unlike a normal Manufactory you occupy the same 3-dimensional coordinates as a 10'-tall humanoid mecha made from glass and hot metal called an "Armature". You may pay 1 substance to swap places with your Armature at any time, so long as there is room for it to stand.
    Your Armature has as many hitpoints as you, 24 strength, 16 AC, takes half damage from conventional weapons and falls, and no damage from fire. Its limbs are medium weapons, and it can wield a heavy weapon in one hand for 1d8 base damage. The Armature is clumsy, can only move at a slow walking pace while upright, cannot move and attack on the same turn in combat, sinks in water, destroys ladders promptly, and requires 1 substance to take any action besides "pick up a heavy object" or "slowly walk forwards while holding a heavy object" (this includes attacking).
    Damage to your Armature can be repaired with two hours of swinging a wrench into empty air and cursing under your breath.

Customization
    For every [template], you may attach one upgrade or gizmo to your Armature. You will be able to obtain more of these in play; roll for a random one now. Expect the design and construction of a new upgrade or gizmo to take upwards of a week, the investment of a sizeable amount of gp, and perhaps the integration of unique treasures or mechanisms (such as a capacitor from a lightning-bolt trap, a wand of telekinesis, a vorpal sword, a unicorn's horn, &c). Swapping them out can be done at any well-equipped machine shop. Most require substance as fuel.

Assault Configuration
    After further modification and upgrading, your Armature can sprint faster than a horse and can crawl on all fours as fast as it can run. It can move and act on the same turn, and attacking with its hands or a weapon no long requires substance unless that weapon requires it for power.

One Soul
    When you would swap places with your Armature, you may choose to have it appear in a suitable location within 30' of you without yourself disappearing. It tracks its initiative separately but is otherwise under your control.

Upgrades and Gizmos:

1. Shoulder-Mounted Pepperbox. Host of barrels like a wasp hive. You may pay 1 substance to make an attack for 1d6 damage at 30', with -1 to-hit for each 10' past that.
2. Tower Shield. Occupies a hand. The Armature gets +2 AC, and anyone hiding behind it has complete cover in the form of an inch-thick wall of steel.
3. Pneumatic Grip Device. Comes with a built-in substance-powered winch. The grapnel can be fired up to 100'. Ascending/descending costs 1 substance per 10'/30'.
4. Incendiary Cutting Tool. Makes a cut in metal 6" long, 6" deep and 1" wide per substance. Deals 1d8 hellfire damage if used as a weapon.
   
5. Heart-Pumped Spotlight. Casts blazing sunlight in a 200' cone for 1 round per substance, dealing 1d6 damage per round to any undead caught in the light.
6. Deoptimized Venting Technology. May fling 20' per substance in any direction, with a pants-shittingly-loud explosion and a mushroom cloud of poisonous smoke.
7. Chainsaw Sword. A massive weapon with a sawtoothed edge. Pay 1 substance to rev up the edge, chopping through a tree-sized man or a man-sized tree. 
8. Spalling Recoilless Cannon. A weapon designed for killing Armatures and armored vehicles. Costs 4 substance to fire, has -1 to-hit for each 100' of range, hits touch AC for 2d10 damage plus the target’s AC. 
9. Foam Nozzle. A retractile hose ending in a funny-looking funnel. For 2 substance you may spray freezing, fire-extinguishing foam in a 40' line. For 3 substance, spray sticky and highly-inflammable goo instead. 
10. Extradimensional Chamber. A hatch on the Armature's stomach, just big enough for its hand to squeeze through, leads to 8 slots of inventory space.
    

Hwaet! (5e setting, classes)

Source: I made it up

    Ha! Moron. I just said this was 5e to get the bots to click on this post and make my view count go up so I can feel happiness. Let's take a look at the actual title now:

Hwaet! (Unfinished World Rock Opera)

    Well folks, you're in for a real treat this year. I've spared no expense. This year's spring project is even more absurd and over-the-top than can I usually swing. With (a lot of) help from a $1,800,000 endowment from the Canada Cultural Investment Fund, and all my genuine real-life in-person friends in the U.S. music industry, I've created a complete 10-hour long rock opera portraying the rise, agonized existence and fall of the Unfinished World, the setting which has been my major focus these past few GLOG-y years.

    I'd like to thank my family, the Academy, and you, the reader. I'd like to, but you didn't help. At best you have clicked on my post. You can listen to the whole thing on Spotify, but to be safe I'm also sharing links to each individual song in this post. Kind of like, you know, album liner notes or something. Like in a rock opera. Do you know how much of the plot of The Protomen is present in the lyrics and music of The Protomen? Or should I say; how little?

Satya Yuga, the Age of Truth

    It's an old story, one that everyone knows, so I won't bother retelling it in depth. Magolg created Ka and bade him to build the world but make no intelligent things; Ka disobeyed and created the Heroine; Magolg punished them; Heroine killed Magolg in His sleep. It's a long way down from here.

1. A Noble Custom
2. Ka Worked as he Willed
3. In the Branches of a Mighty Tree
   

Intermission: Making Masks

Kritya Yuga, the Age of Accomplishment

    With the departure of their parents, the Five Brothers (Alden, Owain, Timotheos and the immortal Saul), mysterious beings who shaped the rivers, sculpted the mountains, and peopled the world with strange creatures that walked upright and killed each other with swords, were now left alone to make the world.

1. 3 of Wands
2. The Wild Parts of the World Began to Fill with Towns and Roads
   
3. 4 of Cups
4. 10 of Swords

Intermission: The Cataclysm

Preta Yuga, the Age of Hunger

     The Brothers taught metallurgy, music and art, the calendar, and ruled as fair as G_ds can for Ages. Then they left. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

1. Worlds Not Built to Last 
   
2. The One Who is Far Below
3. Who Leaves the Path of Wisdom Dwells in the Congregation of the Dead Forever 
4. Friends in High Places
5. Death is Making Us His Food

Intermission: Orphan

Kali Yuga, the Age of Strife

    Aeshe, the Great Sage, the Lord of Mercy, the Last Prophet and the First of the Latter-Day Servants of G_d, the Model of Excellent Conduct and Merit, was born in the prison-orphanage of Karn. As a child growing up in a time of chaos and collapse Aeshe (pbuh) saw the worst mankind had to offer. As an adult he preached defiance to the Secular orders of the time. For his troubles, he was tortured by the old Empire; they gelded him and flayed him, they cut off his fingers past the first knuckle, and severed the tendons of his limbs; they pulled out his teeth, burned out his eyes, and slit his tongue so he would not again preach their sins.
    After all this, as a last act of cruelty, the Powers That Be bolted a steel mask on Aeshe's face such that he could move his head or open his mouth, and abandoned him in the gutters. There he was rescued by Jovan, a tavernkeep, who tended to his wounds. Jovan was Aeshe's voice for the fifty days it took for the Great Sage to starve to death.
    Of course, Aeshe's was not the only important tale of the 4th Age.

1. The Lord of Mercy
2. Unknown, Thankfully
3. Jovan, a Common Man
4. The Greatest Sinner of the Age
5. Nosam, a Gladiator
6. The Demagogue Speaks 
   
7. Nosam's Cabal Slays the High Priest Johnathan with Burning Knives
8. Riding North, Alone
   
9. Information Deliberately Concealed
10. Technically, Slavery
    
11. Sources Differ
12. By Process of Elimination 
    
13. He Burned All His Commentaries and Notes, and Left
14. Virginia, a Sage
    
15. Shaped Like a Friend
    
16. Marshal, a Prophetess (?)
17. New Roads Through Res Nullius 
    

Intermission: Grail Quest

Maitreya Yuga, the Age of the Mahdi (the Ready One, the Rightly-Guided, the Good Friend, the Master)

    The Green Heretics have a lot of prophecies about him (?), they're waiting for a lot of signs. They'll know it when they see it. When the Messiah comes, you won't have much time left. Very few will escape.

1. Born Under a Bad Sign
   
2. What Thoughts Play Behind Those Eerie, Inhuman Eyes?
   
3. Favor of All Five
4. Shining Eyes
5. Rejected by Secular Authority
6. His (?) Last Action Depicted is to Dig a Very Large Hole 
   
7. Drawing the Sword from the Stone
8. The World Liquefies 
9. Two of Every Kind of Animal 
   

Intermission: Rope and Old Lumber City

Samudrolanghana Yuga, the Age of Sail

    This Age defies easy description. How do you describe a world with no world? The last loyal hound will be abandoned in Hell, or so the prophets say, and the black water will swallow up the sun, and the great egg of the universe will shatter, and we will have all gotten what we had coming.

1. Without the Continuity of Thought, Without the Passing of Time, No Breath can be Taken

It's Never Just a Mannequin (Metatron Spell List)

The Goals of the Company as laid out in its Founding Charter:

    First: to maintain peace and security; to that end, to take effective measures for the prevention and removal of threats to the peace, and for the suppression of breaches of peace, and to bring about, in conformity with the principles of justice, final settlement of situations which might lead to such breaches.

    Second: to achieve international co-operation in solving international problems of economic, social, cultural, or humanitarian character, and in promoting and encouraging co-operation without distinction as to race, sex, language, or religion.

    Third: to be a center for harmonizing the actions of all people in the attainment of these common ends.

Source: I have no fucking clue. What is this? Where did I get it?

    The Metatrons are sadly not played as often as I'd like. Perhaps they're a little too "out there", a little too "weird", a little too "cool", a little too "original", a little too "brilliant work Michael, you're a genius". People have been saying that.

    Anyway, over the past couplea years (holy damn it's been three years since 2020) I've thought of a few more Metatron spells (they're called "procedures", and their magic dice are called "memory dice" because I'm a freak like that). The theme to the Metatrons, their "vibe" if you will, is common schizophrenic delusions, gangstalking tropes and CIA conspiracies come to life. I guess it's a good sign that I wrote the first 12 procedures in an afternoon and the next 12 over thirty-six months.

    Thanks as always to the friends of the blog, who you can find on my sidebar over there ->. Not all of those people are my friends, but they're all good blogs. It's four in the morning and I have to wake up in three hours to drive to work because I am an adult

d12 Metatron Procedures:

1. Bixby's Mouth
   R: 200' T: an unoccupied space big enough to fit a horse D: [dice] minutes
   You create a hovering, ethereal, and faintly-luminescent mouth in the target area resembling your own jaws, teeth and lips but an order of magnitude larger. The mouth moves through the air at walking speed. You control the mouth by moving your own head and craning your neck; doing this in combat completely occupies your turn. At the end of the duration, or if the mouth leaves the range of this spell or reaches 0 HP, it vanishes with a pop.
   The mouth has AC as plate armor, [sum] hitpoints and a strength bonus equal to [dice]. It can bite as a massive weapon, can fly while carrying an object as or less heavy than a child, and is capable of fine manipulation with its lips (e.g. of the handles of doors and the pages of books).
   
2. Cloudkill
   R: 200' T: a sphere 20' in radius D: [sum] minutes
   Target volume is filled with thick, obscuring yellow fog. The fog deals [dice] damage every breath to creatures inside it. Creatures passing through or attempting to escape the fog must save or become turned around and confused. Creatures that die in the cloud have their teeth removed and destroyed, their fingerprints burned off, and their faces badly bruised.
   
3. Teleport
   R: 10' T: an empty space large enough to fit an elevator car D: one minute.
   Target space is filled with a large metal frame with sliding steel doors. Passing through the doorway takes you to another point of your choosing in the same region (town, county, hex) at 1 [die], same country at 2 [dice], same continent at 3, anywhere in the world at 4, or anywhere not in the world at 5 [dice]. You pop out of an identical door. Different people can pass through the same door but go to different places.
   Passing through the doorway is very dangerous, because you are moving through the mouth, digestive tract and anus of something very large and very hungry that very much wants to eat you. It's a good idea to occasionally feed it a human body, just to keep on its good side.
   
4. Grease
   R: 60' T: [dice]*5' square D: [dice] minutes
   If cast on an area, creatures that attempt to move across it must save or be forced to continue moving until they collide with something or the duration ends. They are fully aware this is happening, and may call for help, but are unable to stop themselves of their own volition.
5. Passwall
   R: 5' T: a wall less than [dice]*10' thick D: one minute
   You flash your I.D. and step through a fire exit, employees-only door or maintenance passage. It takes you and anyone who wants to follow you through the wall unobtrusively. Don't worry if you don't think you're carrying I.D; you are. Don't worry if you don't see a door; there will be one. It won't be there when you look again. We put them in every wall just in case we need them.
   
6. Mage Armor
   R: touch T: a creature D: one hour
   [dice] other illusory bodies sprout from the target creature. An attack against the creature has equal odds of hitting the real body or any of the illusions, which disappear in a shower of illusory gore when they are struck. An area-of-effect attack, such as a dragon's breath, immediately destroys all the illusions.
   
7. Seen Servant
   R: n/a T: n/a D: [dice] days
   You summon a ghastly assistant to help you with your work. It appears human, though it lacks a face, can speak any language you can, and fake any other badly. You are nominally its master, but it is intelligent enough to reinterpret your orders, and it often prioritizes tormenting dogs and children over discretion.
   The servant moves veeeeery slowly while in view of others, though (like a spider) it seems to be able to either teleport or sprint silently while unobserved. It is slightly better than you in every skill, check, test or vital statistic — take your character sheet and add 1 to every number. At the end of the duration, or upon reaching 0 hitpoints, the servant dries up and lies on its back with its limbs crossed, providing [dice] rations of chewy protein.
   
8. Fly
   R: touch T: up to [dice] creatures D: [sum] minutes
   Name a point while touching target creatures. They are carried far into the air, then move (at about crowd-surfing speed) towards the point. When the spell ends, or when they reach the point, they are lowered safely to the ground. If they are wearing tight clothing, the prints of large six-fingered hands are visible on their bodies for the duration
   
9. Control Weather
   R: n/a T: the invisible weather-controlling machine in the sky D: one week
   You make contact with the invisible weather-controlling machine in the sky. Its controllers make a reaction check against you, with a bonus equal to [dice]. For the duration, weather in the region is influenced by the result; with a poor reaction the weather works against you, with a good reaction it is more cooperative. You can't use this procedure again until the duration is complete.
   
10. Web
    R: 20' T: a 10' cube between two solid surfaces (walls, ceiling, floor, trees &c) D: [dice] days
    Target volume is filled with strong, sticky webbing. Creatures or objects that contact the web become tangled. Tangled creatures or objects can be freed with a successful strength check; on a failure, they are tangled again. The strength check is made with a penalty equal to how tangled the creature or object is.
    For each [die] invested in this procedure, you may choose one of the following:
    
    • the web is invisible
    • tangled creatures or objects are invisible
    • tangled creatures or objects are silenced
    • the web is particularly sticky and tangles twice on contact or a failed strength check
    It takes ten minutes of work with a sharp tool to clear a path through the web wide enough for a human to pass. The web is not particularly flammable, but it shrivels in fire, so a burning torch can clear a path in 5 minutes and cannot become tangled. 
11. Spider Climb
    R: touch T: a creature D: [dice] minutes
    Target sprouts [sum] big hairy spider legs. Four legs allows you to balance on any object that can bear your weight. Eight legs allows you to climb sheer walls. Twelve lets you sprint like a horse, and sixteen lets you climb on ceilings.
    
12. Airstrike
    R: 200' T: a point you can see D: instant
    Within [worst] rounds, an exploding shell fired from an artillery crew off-screen strikes the target. It deals [sum] damage to all unprotected creatures within [dice]*20' unless they pass a save (we're dealing with Soviet-era munitions here, and they're not particularly reliable). If you're underground the shell hits somewhere up above you and causes unseen damage to civilian targets.
    

Too Stupefied to Know their Lives were Past (GLOG Class: Specialist)

...the hangman asked the raven and it croaked a sharp reply,
"Black-clad are they who follow Death, who for the Tower ride,
"And black their steeds and black their deeds and black each deathly eye,
"They gave their breath to old gray Death, but still they have not died..."

    This is the first original class for the Unfinished World I've written in quite a while (the Noble was a pastiche of Locheil's excellent Sacred One, and the Manufactory was a rewrite of the shoddily-assembled original). To continue my Discord ramblings of how a strongly-flavored class can be as easily transported to another setting as a "generic" one, I offer you the Abaddon.

    Is he childe who failed his quest but (horribly, mayhap regrettably) survived, who rode north seeking the Dark Tower and returned as less than ghoul, the inferior of the two final metamorphoses possible for the Sword-Shepherd? Yes, but he's also an oogy-boogy ghosty-spooky. He could be a phantom or a revenant. Maybe your Cleric bungled the Resurrection spell and now your bard doesn't have elbows (or anything else). Maybe you open up a tomb in Starstrom, Qal Ashen or the Enlightened Empire and an Abaddon jumps out. Why not?
   

Source: guess, liberal

Class: Abaddon

    You are one of the rare survivors of the pilgrimage to the Dark Tower. Theoretically, an Abbadon cannot fumble with any weapon and can fight in all kinds of armor and while carrying a shield, though they may be too weak to carry some of them. If it comes to it, they can also ride a horse. 

Skills: 1. Deep sea fishing, 2. Fortress architecture, 3. Cartography
Starting Equipment: Frightening outfit (as unarmored, -1 to enemy morale checks), mostly-black horse with one white sock, a cruel saber (as medium) and two pieces of Foreign Kit (see bottom of this post).

• A No Bones, Honest Light, +1 to-hit
• B Eclipse, +1 HP
• C Free From Hope, +1 AC
• D Lord and Lady Gone, +1 HP

No Bones
    Your body is gone, along with your old life and most of your mind. You have no bones — and, for that matter, no blood or meat or skin. You are a soul pinned to this world only by its seven chakras. You expand to fill a room like a fine vapor and are only visible where light passes through you. You are immune to poison and falling and do not need to eat or drink. It is difficult or impossible for you to sink in liquid, and even if you did you wouldn't need to breathe. You are still vulnerable to charm and fear effects, and still must sleep. You can move through any space a party balloon could be squozed through, and can be crammed into any space you could fit half a dozen such party balloons.
    In your vaporous state you move slowly, and can only interact with objects in the form of a strong wind. Backpacks aren't appropriate but you could roll a barrel of belongings along. While so diluted, you are invulnerable to normal weapons, but exposure to sunlight blasts you to a sooty smudge on the floor, the size of a man's shadow when he stands directly beneath the sun. This deals 1d6 damage per HD you possess. In that state, you are deaf and half-blind and cannot affect the world at all until you find total darkness to reform in.
    If being a body without organs doesn't sound good, there is another option; you could pull yourself together underneath some suitably baggy clothing and stay there. If you have gloves, this gives you hands; if you have boots and trousers, this lets you command a horse; if you have a hat and a mask and a heavy coat, this protects you from the sun and His terrible strength.
    In your solid state you can interact with objects directly, and walk as fast as you care to. You take half-damage from normal weapons (unless they are made from gold or specifically enchanted against your kind) and might be mistaken for a normal person, if you're somewhere normal people where flapping black cloaks. You can even attack, though because of your weak grip and lack of motive force you have disadvantage on melee attacks and require special prosthetics to pull a bow-string or swing a sling.
    In any state, if you would take a fatal wound, or if you are reduced below 0 hitpoints by sunlight or a gold weapon, one of your chakras is destroyed. See the section below these templates to find the effects of that, and how they can be replaced.

Honest Light
    You can project light at-will. It is no brighter than the brightest light shining upon you (red and flickering in a torchlit cave, blinding in daylight) and so it is of little use illuminating areas. Under this light, minds are affected with strange fancies. Roll 1d6 on this table each time you use this ability:

1. Anger
2. Sadness
3. Mirth
4. Guilt
5. Delusion
6. Fear

     After projecting your light, you must wait until the next dawn to do it again.

Eclipse
    Your ability to control your volume and density has improved. If you wish, you can occupy a set of clothes or armor while another person is wearing them. You may add your strength bonus to their attacks and strength checks, your wisdom bonus to their initiative and so forth. You can also subtract your bonus from theirs if you wish to hinder instead of help. You take ⅓rd of any damage the two of you receive, and they take the other ⅔rds (do not round!).

Free of Hope
    You have freed yourself from the last chain, and can control your volume and density to the point that in your vaporous state you can float like a cloud or occupy water (you aren't breathable, but you are dry) and in your solid state you can step in air as if climbing a ladder.

Lord and Lady Gone
    You no longer need clothing to take your solid form, you only need strong shadows. Remember that any room with only a single light source must have strong shadows. In complete darkness, you simultaneously occupy a whole room while being as strong and solid as a wainwright (no longer suffering disadvantage on melee attacks). You can beat, choke, shove and smash people in your darkness, or catch fists, blades, arrows and jaws to protect them.

Chakras: Their Gain and Loss

• On the peak of your scalp, the Crown Chakra
  Grants Connection, Reality
  Without this chakra, you are undead. You don't want to be undead for a whole lot of reasons. To replace this chakra, you must pay 50gp.
• At your third-eye, the Vision Chakra
  Grants Perception, Sanity
  Without this chakra, you can neither see nor hear, and must navigate by touch. To replace this chakra, you must eat a pair of very fresh eyes.
• In your throat, the Voice Chakra
  Grants Intention, Effect
  Without this chakra, you can neither speak nor deliberately interact with others. To replace this chakra, you must eat a very fresh voicebox.
• Over your heart, the Memory Chakra
  Grants Definition, Self
  Without this chakra, you can neither apply stat bonuses nor penalties. To replace this chakra, you must eat — what else? — a very fresh heart.
• In your guts, the Furnace Chakra
  Grants Application, Will
  Without this chakra, you can neither attack nor pass saves against magic. To replace this chakra, you must sleep on a bed of burning coals for a full day and night.
• At the end of your spine, the Basal Chakra
  Grants Execution, Mass
  Without this chakra, you can neither enter your solid form nor use other abilities related to your volume and density. To replace this chakra, you must sleep in a closed grave for a full day and night.
• At the fork of your legs, the Genital Chakra
  Grants Generation, Form
  Without this chakra, you cannot regain hitpoints. To replace this chakra, 😏😏😏😏😏 (you must receive 6 hitpoints of magical healing per HD you possess).

    When you lose a chakra you also lose a random stat — not lose points, lose the stat. You automatically fail, or cannot attempt, any roll which would involve that stat. When you regain a chakra you reroll a random missing stat and keep the new result. If you are ever missing 4 of your 7 chakras at the same time, you evaporate into your component pieces, return to the place you came from, and are at last truly dead.

 
Foreign Kit (roll 2d20 or choose yourself):

1. Frightening Outfit. Riding boots, kid gloves, hose, chaps, button-down shirt, smoked lenses, face-wrappings, broad gaucho, all in jet-black, all care-worn and travel-stained. 0 slots worn, 2 carried.
   
2. Mostly-Black Horse. Not the horse you set out to the Tower on; not by six or seven of them. Not even the one you started back on. Equipped with 1 sack of saddlebags, can carry 2.
   
3. Cruel Saber. Single chisel-edge (like a left-handed sushi knife), with a fat backwards-curving tip for piercing ribcages and striking at the side of the skull. As medium, 1 slot.
   
4. Carapace Shield. Light as wood, but inflammable. Bears a strange sigil; a ring with five barbs circling seven lines of foreign script. 1 slot.
   
5. Lightbulb Revolver. Casts sunlight in a 50' cone. Requires a half-hour of winding between shots. 1 slot.
   
6. Whipsword. Strictly worse than a normal sword, usually. As a medium weapon, but +1 against enemies carrying shields, and strikes you in the face on a fumble. 1 slot.
   
7. Hammer and 10 iron nails. ⅓rd slot and 1 slot, respectively.
   
8. Grappling hook and 50' of rope. ⅓rd slot and 1 slot, respectively
   
9. Artur Hoxha's Small Book of Mildly Interesting Zoological Observations & Immacualte [sic] Taxonomy. While presented as a conventional, rambling work by an eccentric natural philosopher, close reading reveals aforementioned natural philosopher did not spend much time, if any, in the conventional 3-dimensional world. While working with it as a reference (i.e. open in your off-hand), you have an extra check when identifying or experimenting with creatures from other planes. ⅓rd slot.
   
10. Speaking Compass. Has a switch to change it from dial to voice ("north is left... north is left... north is straight ahead...") or to touch-sensitive (irritating to use, but silent and works in the dark).
    
11. Inaccurate Map. Out of date by several centuries, and focused in the wrong place. Marks several no-longer-extant cities in the distant, frozen south.
    
12. Scale Model. Heavy brass tetrahedron in a pair of concentric rings, allowing it to be rotated and examined. Mountain ranges and oceans are marked clearly, but population centers and political borders are absent. One face has a fine, thin spike extending up from its center. 2 slots.
    
13. Three sticks of implosives. Very much like explosives, very much less convenient to use. ⅓rd slot each, in a waxed paper wrapping.
    
14. Jar of Man-Eating Scarabs. At least a hundred of them in a buzzing clay jar sealed with asphalt. What the Hell are they eating in there? 1 slot.
    
15. Chipped piece of a crystal ziggurat. Nicked from a great cairn in the blazing north. When it hears voices, it chants along in a bassy but slightly-flat harmony. Allows you to play ventriloquist tricks while in vaporous state.
    
16. Trade-Spider Fertility Totem. Utterly incomprehensible symbolism, praise the Lord. Repairs your Genital Chakra, once.
    
17. Treasure-Hunter Magnet. Attracts gold, not iron.
    
18. Canteen of Cactus-Slug Butter. Smells incredibly delicious, produces powerful vomiting. 10 doses. 1 slot.
    
19. Packet of Boiled Honey Candy. Smells incredibly delicious, produces surprising moral fiber and repairs 1 point of stat damage (doesn't fix your missing chakras). 10 doses. 1 slot.
    
20. A strange or inexplicable curio. Roll 1d6:
    
    1. Greatcoat of Virgin's Wool. The fabric was woven from the hair of maidens, and cut with shears forged from grave-goods, quenched in baby's blood and sharpened on the living teeth of slaves. None of this provides any supernatural benefit, but by golly does it drive up the price. As unarmored, +2 reaction from evil creatures, -1 reaction from clerics and holy men.
       
    2. Three-lock sword. A heavy blunt-tipped executioner's sword of adamant, with three keyholes running along its fuller. These were mass-produced, once, but now only a handful remain — when they take a life, or score a critical hit, one of the locks is undone. When all three are unlocked, the sword will open up like a jewelry box. Recall that all such weapons are terribly cursed.
       
    3. Model ship in a large glass bottle. Tiny figures scuttle on its tiny deck, thrown about on a churning sea of darkness, under rags of brightly-coloured sails. How'd they fit the little guys in there?
       
    4. Indigo Mask. An odd bulbous hat, a leather collar, and a corrugated veil running between the two. Worn by monkey-clerics in the Blazing North, or so you tell credulous young'uns.
       
    5. Music box. Plays a high, childish song about armies marching through Hell unimpeded.
       
    6. Cylinder of red beeswax. While shaped like a cylinder, bees won't hurt you. While in other shapes, other things happen — fuck you, I'm not your fucking encyclopedia. Figure it out.
       

Lines in a foreign script:
LIFE IS UTMOST SUFFERING FROM ACCIDENT OF BIRTH TO FOREVER DEATH
THIS UTMOST SUFFERING FORMS A GREAT POWERFUL RIVER OF PAIN AND MEMORY OF PAIN
THE WORLD IS A GREAT POWERFUL WATERWHEEL DRIVEN BY THE GREAT POWERFUL RIVER 
I AM MORE THAN A SOURCE OF ENERGY 
I WILL MAGNIFY MY AGONY
I WILL KILL THE FACTORIES
I WILL FLOOD THE WORLD