Thursday, September 22, 2022

Ruling the City of G_d (GLOG Class: Noble)

One thousand years is a long time,
but at last it comes to an end.
Meanwhile, is it any greater accomplishment
to be a rich corpse than a poor one?
Jewels of jade and pearl are put in the mouths
of the illustrious dead
to conserve their bodies.
They do the dead no good, but they'll fetch a fine price
to feed the children of the tomb robbers.
    - the Unnamed Text.

    I'm writing this as a pastiche of Locheil's excellent Sacred One. Someone complimented the class but sighed that it was so setting-specific, and I asserted that I could canonize it into the Unfinished World without much trouble. Here's my attempt to do so.

Source: King Yellow by fermarkun.

Imperial Clan, by presumed rank:
1. Prince of the First Blood (apparent heir)
2. Commanding Prince
3. Virtuous Prince
4. Banner Prince
    All of the above are considered potential inheritors of the Old Throne (that granted by the Old G_ds).
5. Duke of the First Blood (cadet line)
6. Bulwark Duke
    All of the above enjoy the Five Privileges (the list varies, but usually includes access to the Imperial Library, use of Imperial seals for personal correspondence, lantern-bearing priests, the right to hunt in any forest, red carriage wheels, purple horse reins, reported entrance, dragon-patterned clothing, bodyguards from the ranks of the Fork-Tailed Creature Banner).
7. Lesser Duke
8. Lesser Bulwark Duke
    All of the above possess their rank by agnacy (i.e. the Emperor cannot make more nor strip them of their titles).

Irregular titles, by presumed rank:
1. Prince of the First-and-One-Half Blood
2. Prince of Command
3. Inferior Prince
4. Empty-Ranked Prince
5. Duke Beyond Rankings
6. Indivisible Count
    All of the above possess their rank by agnacy.
7.5. Master of the Banner (inherited generalship)
8. Lesser Master
9. Master of a Lesser Banner
10. Lesser Master of One-Fifteenth-of-One-Quarter-of-One-Banner (~300 men)

Nobility not related to the Emperor, by presumed rank:
5. Common Duke
6. Marquis (on the marches)
7. Count (in a county)
    All of the above outrank all civilians, regardless of military rank or achievement.
8. Viscount
9. Baron (has a nice house)

Class: Cadet

    You are a Cadet; a distant relative of supreme power, with some of the advantages and none of the parental love. If you care, roll 3d6 to determine how many families exist between yours and the Imperial Audience Chamber, and 2d4-1 to see how many older siblings you have. You might have had a privileged upbringing, but you've been left alone to bum around, or to pursue lesser careers in commerce, law, religion (so long as you don't shove it down our throats), academia, military service or minor government office.
    As a Cadet you get +1 to saves every [level]. You can wear light or medium armor and wield shields. You can ride a horse too if it comes to it. Cadets never fumble with swords, polearms or guns.

Skills: 1. Hunting 2. History 3. Legal nonsense. You can speak the primal language of the spirits.
Starting Equipment: Hunting costume (as leather), cool halfcape, ringsword with chain threaded through the pommel (medium), shortbow and quiver with 20 arrows OR specially-modified snapchance, two items of your choice from the list of quality gear, one mantra in the primal language.
  • A Unbroken Line, Sanctuary, immunity to being ignored
  • B Lightning Dream, Calming Voice
  • C Durability, +2 chi
  • D Right of Passage, +1 chi
Unbroken Line
    You are the most notable member of any group. When you are angry, your eyes darken and your voice rings out over others. Demons and devils treat you with worrying familiarity and uncharacteristic friendliness.
    Unless and until you initiate a fight, non-sacred creatures must save or be unable to harm you.
Lightning Dream
    When dreaming, drunk, high or otherwise in an altered state, your soul can walk in a place scholars of the secret history call the Lightning Dream. When your civilization invents trains, the Lightning Dream will be compared to an empty train platform built for crowds of giants. The roof far above your head is studded with skylights which let in unsteady blue light, and the walls with windows that look out upon smoky forests, nightmare-landscapes of bone, hills and valleys of rotting flesh, darkness. The many paths and rails and turnings and branches of the Dream fold in on each other; small rooms vanish into the horizon yet swell to terrible halls as you approach; three lefts don't make a right; shadows bay in their far-off hunts. The place is clearly not built to be navigated by foot.
    In the Dream, you may speak in secret with other visitors, and leave messages for each other to find. You can bring people to the Lightning Dream as guests by sleeping next to them, getting drunk from the same wine, high from the same chemic, etc. Those who have the right to be there can banish guests you bring, and you can do the same to the guests of others.
Calming Voice
    You may attempt to calm all listeners with soothing words. Intelligent creatures get a save. Mindless undead, and beasts with fewer HD than you, fail automatically. When a creature fails the save their emotions dull to grey outlines, anger drains, joy becomes hollow, battle-lust fades.
    After using your Calming Voice you can't use it again until you have done at least two of the following: get a full night's rest, drink a dose of wine, repeat your mantra aloud in the primal language for two hours.
    The meandering paths of the Lightning Dream have led you to a revelation about kung-fu, and punching, and likewise kicking. You have a pool of chi which you can use as a monk of the same level as you (though you get less chi than a real monk does).
Right of Passage
    You may walk through the Gates of Hell. Denizens of Hell, the Judges of the Dead and all demons and devils treat you as an honoured personage. Unintelligent undead are incapable of initiating violence against you.

Quality Gear (choose or roll 2d20):
  1. Hunting Costume. Green felt and brown leather. Comes with a pointy bycocket, hood, lots of leather straps and belts, knee-high boots. 0 slots worn, 2 carried.
  2. Ringsword with Chain. Classic Aeshean sword. Rather like a large rapier or an elongated broadsword, and named for its large ring pommel. Yours has a kusari-fundo threaded through that pommel, in emulation of your ancestors, and you can use the chain to make grapple checks at a range of 10' instead of attacking. 1 slot
  3. Shortbow and quiver of 20 arrows. Effective range of 20', with -1 to-hit for every complete 10' past that. 1 slot for the shortbow and 1 for the quiver.
  4. Double-Barreled Snapchance. A classic black powder pistol in a configuration preferred by duelists with tight schedules. Deals 2d6 damage at 10', -1 to-hit for every complete 10' past that, firing with disadvantage if you moved on your turn. Barrels may be fired and reloaded separately (1 minute reload per barrel), or together for disadvantage on both shots . If you roll a nat 1 with a second shot loaded, you fire the second shot as well and take 1d6-1 damage from the gun snapping up into your teeth. 1 slot.
  5. Scrimshawed Powder Horn. Contains up to ten doses of black powder. Converts hours of lamp-oil into black powder at a rate of one dose per day. The apparently-abstract art deco designs on the powder horn are very alarming to manufactories who can read them. 1 slot.
  6. Samite Robe. Thick cendree silk ceremonial robe (as unarmored, +1 to reaction rolls), with gold-thread stitches and hidden layers of fine chardun mail (secret +2 to AC, ha!). Very hard to launder. 0 slots worn, 2 carried.
  7. Musical Instrument. Any you want, so long as it can be played upside down while singing. Probably 1 slot.
  8. Bottle of Fine Wine. I'm going to be honest, it's a big bottle (as light) but it's only 3 doses of wine for you. 1/3rd slot.
  9. Bottle of Oxymel. Good for you, puts hair on your chest. One dose heals 1 point of stat damage. 3 doses, 1/3rd slot
  10. Adamant Signet Ring. A Cadet is absolutely not supposed to have this, and someone is absolutely coming to take it away from you.
  11. Trio of Sacred Arrows. One with a head of chardun (flies silently), one of ossgold (effective against the undead), one of adamant (always deals maximum damage).
  12. Contracted Builder. For reasons neither you nor they know, the Old Man in the Ice has directed them to follow you around and do what you say. They aren't gracious about it. 1st level Builder, 6HP, starting equipment + mattock, 9 morale. If you make them carry more than 3 slots of non-treasure, they'll find an excuse to break it or lose it.
  13. Sashimono. A tall banner worn vertically on a long pole, identifying your army and rank to distant observers. The flag is reversible, showing either the black-and-white banner of the Empire or the black-and-blue banner of the Fork Tailed Creature Banner.
  14. Advice of Wo Ding to his Son. An antecataclysmic mirror-for-princes in the guise of a book on hunting deer, and other (more interesting) prey. Full of aphorisms as well-known, beloved and constantly-misquoted as "it's better to act and repent than to not act and regret" and "it is better to be feared than to be loved" and such are in our world. Referencing this book (i.e. working with it open in one hand) grants an extra check on hunting-related tasks. 1/3rd slot.
  15. Big sack of 500 iron pennies. Newly-minted and shiny. Worth 5gp total. 5 slots.
  16. Newest Imperial printing of the Magolg par artenbrar. A truly immense tome, though still unfinished; huge sections of the text (and, therefore, decades or centuries of history) are lacunae, perhaps lost forever. Referencing this book grants an extra check on identifying historic artifacts and monsters. 1 slot.
  17. Bucket of Opiates. A ceramic coupe with an opinel lock lid, containing 10 recreational doses of mostly poppy or 5 lethal doses. 1 slot.
  18. Clerical Mask. Either a black deathshead (in laquered steel), a white infant (in porcelain), a violet elder (in painted wood) or a green dog (an elaborate felt plushie). Completely authentic, presumably stolen.
  19. Golden Dagger. A light weapon, breaking on a nat 1. 1/3rd slot.
  20. A strange or inexplicable curio. Roll 1d6:
    1. Cunning replica of the Emperor's sword, ONE UNBROKEN LINE. A trained sword-ologist would be able to tell it's a counterfeit, because it has its name written on it, and that name is ONE BROKEN LINE.
    2. Salamander Skin with Asbestos Fur. Sometimes believed to be the literal skin of a literal fire-dwelling amphibian, but skeptical scholars assert the name is only a metaphor, and these capes are actually made by a secret race of cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. Totally fireproof. 1 slot.
    3. Severed Hand of a Lich. Comes in a black velvet bag, to protect it from the sun. Occasionally tries to drum messages into your hand if you hold it.
    4. Ossgold Mask. Resembles the faceless mask of the prophet Aeshe (pbuh), but made of ossgold instead of iron, and doesn't need to be fastened to your skull with five nails. One of your relatives tried to start a new Heresy with this, but didn't get far.
    5. Bottle of honey from the lips of a Queen of the Herds. Serves as a healing potion. 1/3rd slot.
    6. Ring of Finger Detection. Small copper band with a black square stone. When pressed to a doorway of an enclosed room, pulses to indicate the number of fingers (digits that this ring could be worn on) inside. Counts the fingers of both the dead and the living.

Mantras (choose or roll 1d6):
  1. In the lost age
    where the jewels hide and
    the sword sticks in
    the waiting stone
    still warm from his hand
  2. Sincerity becomes apparent, and
    what is apparent becomes manifest, and
    what is manifest becomes brilliant, and
    what is brilliant affects others, and
    when sincerity affects others, they are changed by it, therefore
    it is characteristic of the most entire sincerity to foreknow, because
  3. Though much is taken, much abides, and
    we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven, yet still
    that which we are, we are, because
  4. Time is the substance I am made of.
    Time is a river which sweeps me along, but I am the river.
    Time is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger.
    Time is a fire which consumes me, but I am the fire.
  5. The whole earth is sick of your search for knowledge.
    I am not offering information;
    I seek to destroy the wisdom of the wise;
    I seek to frustrate the intelligence of the intelligent; because
  6. I have never done anything wrong to anyone!
    And if the whole world is turning against me, I know
    It's only because of pure hatred, envy and indignation, because

Thursday, September 1, 2022

O Friendless One (GLOG Class: Summoner Pathfinder Conversion)

    "Many search the Far Realms for the strength to change the world, and some find it. Yet none traffick more devoutly than the Summoner. She bonds with a particular entity, the Eidolon, who gains power as she becomes more proficient in his Summoning. Over time the two become one, even sharing the same soul. This power comes at a cost, as all worthwhile things do; other elements of her life must be secondary to time spent enhancing the powers and exploring the nature of her Eidolon."
         - unknown source

Source: Threnody by SRaffa.

    Imagine you're a child, and there's a man who lives at the end of the road. He's crazy. Everyone knows, and you know it too. Everyone says, and you say it too. But your friends have never spoken to him, and neither have you. One day you talk to him, and he makes sense. Perfect sense. More sense than you ever thought possible.
    So now what?

Class: Summoner

    You are a Summoner, an arcanist who drifts from orthodoxy into devotion to a specific summoned entity. As a Summoner, you are a half-caster, gaining an MD at templates A and C. You cast spells like an Orthodox Wizard either from your head (you may hold as many spells in your head as you have MD) or out of a book (in which case your turn is last in combat) as a wizard would.
    The main focus of your class, however, is your Eidolon, a strange creature from outside the normal bounds of time and space. The Eidolon is controlled by you as a second character. Their loyalty is absolute and unwavering, but their abilities and personalities are variegate. Rules for Eidolon creation and evolution are found at the bottom of this post.
    If you have at least one template of Summoner, you may wear light armor, and never fumble while using knives, clubs or staves.

Skills: 1. Wildlife Biology 2. Haute-culture 3. Chirurgy
Starting Equipment: fashionable traveling clothes (as unarmored), walking stick (light), spellbook (10 spells maximum, contains a random orthodox spell), and one piece of wizard kit from the list at the bottom of this post.
  • A Eidolon, Bond Senses, +1 MD, +2 EP
  • B Shield Ally, +3 EP
  • C Maker's Call, +1 MD, +1 EP
  • D Aspect, +3 EP
    You are accompanied by a constant companion who begins play about the size of a big dog (that's about 50kg), though proportions may vary (see Identities below). Its body is apparently made from modeling clay and origami. The Eidolon has a character sheet you need to keep track of because the DM has enough to worry about. Its starting physical stats and armor class are as Poodle, and starting mental stats are equal to yours. Its XP total and [level] is always the same as yours. Its HP total is the maximum its [level] would allow. If you think of your Eidolon as a really fucked up dog it will help you predict how it interacts with the world when being set on fire, or falling off of a cliff, or being trapped in a cage, or being trapped in a cage as the cage is thrown off the side of a boat into the ocean, or in other situations I can't think of right now but will certainly come up.
    Your Eidolon never regenerates HP. Instead, you can instantly transfer any amount of your own hitpoints to it at-will. If it would take a fatal wound, it disappears with a pop, and can be resummoned at 1 HP with a ten minute ritual and 3 of your own hitpoints.
    Your Eidolon can hear and feel through its skin and can communicate with you psionically. If it has eyes (which you may need to furnish yourself!), it may see, and if it has a mouth it may speak. If it can't see then it must move by dead reckoning, shin-collision and your guidance. If it can't speak then you will have to do the talking for it.
    At first level and every time you gain a level thereafter, you will gain evolution points. You can spend these EP on more limbs, greebles and abilities for your Eidolon. You may reassign your total EP pool every time you gain a level, if you wish. The physical body of your Eidolon is merely a 3-dimensional cubesection of its true 11-dimensional form, so it can (seem to) take an almost entirely different shape as you understand it better. There are other sources of evolution points, and other opportunities to reassign them, but you'll have to find those yourself.
Bond Senses
    For a round at a time, up to [level] times per dawn, you may completely inhabit your Eidolon's mind, seeing what it sees, hearing what it hears, tasting and smelling and feeling what it tastes and smells and feels, and experiencing its emotions.
Shield Ally
    Your Eidolon can protect you, in ways more esoteric than just deflecting a sword-stroke with a limb. While within arm's reach of your Eidolon you have a +2 to AC and all saves.
Maker's Call
    Once per dawn, by speaking its name and gesturing, you may bring your Eidolon to your side instantly. It appears with any equipment it was wearing or holding, and any creature smaller than itself that it was grappling.
    A facet of yourself is permanently part of your Eidolon, and a part of your Eidolon is forever a part of you. You may divert up to two evolution points to yourself, altering one of your forms to better match the other.


    The word "Eidolon" refers to a vast and crushing intelligence existing outside the bounds of space and time, and also to the tiny portion of them which your mind is able to support the existence of inside those bounds. The broad personality of that first one is determined by rolling on a random table (or you could just pick, but I have included a table to help you make a weird little freak). The specific capabilities of that second one are purchased by you with evolution points, which you gain as you level up.

What Is Your Eidolon Like?

Temperaments (roll if you wish):
  1. Choleric (Hot-Dry). Aggressive, brave, spiteful, domineering, proud, ambitious, blunt. Eager for action, reluctant to contemplate. Sometimes mean by accident.
  2. Sanguine (Hot-Wet). Outgoing, magnanimous, presumptuous, clingy, social, influential, hysterical. Always having a good time and happy to share. Not difficult to motivate, but difficult to keep focused.
  3. Phlegmatic (Cold-Wet). Placid, contemplative, agreeable, imaginative, lazy, sensitive, indulgent. Contented, in a fat sort of way. Says less than they know.
  4. Melancholic (Cold-Dry). Serene, cool, distracted, thorough, anal-retentive, traditional, patient. Chooses understanding over control, when given the option. Must be bullied into sharing thoughts or taking action.

Etiquettes (roll twice. Your Eidolon speaks these lingoes fluently):
  1. Esoterica, lingua franca of the academic world, spoken by scholars and the expensively-educated.
  2. Ledger, in which columns of credit and debit are recorded, spoken by accountants and revenuers.
  3. Argot, unprintable gibberish of crime and payout, spoken by thieves and fences. 
  4. Centrinel, light on words but heavy on meaningful winks, jaw juts, eyebrow wiggles, glances and fingers rubbed against thumbs, spoken by guards and watchmen.
  5. Jargon, half technical and half made up to scare greenhorns, spoken by monster hunters and "freelance archaeologists".
  6. Entendre, sometimes with more than one meaning, spoken by the upper-crust and those who wish to exploit their naivete and money.
  7. Grumbling, muttered by the seething riffraff, spoken by henchmen and would-be barricadoes.

Fears (roll once. Your Eidolon must pass a morale check or be turned from these things):
  1. Sunlight
  2. Silver
  3. Genuine Laughter
  4. Salt
  5. Prayer
  6. Mathematics
  7. Fire
  8. Poetry
  9. Wild Animals
  10. Sorcery

Identities (the identity of your Eidolon dictates their initial shape):
  1. Quadruped.
    Legs/legs/head, bite/eyes.
    More like a fat badger than a tiger or horse at this stage.
  2. Biped.
    Legs/arms/human size, natural armor/violence.
    Awful blind headless homunculus, like a mannequin from a department store for blemmyes.
  3. Serpent.
    Head, tail/bite/strangling/natural armor/climbing/eyes.
    As big as a Burmese Python. Could be a skilled assassin with a little training.
  4. Avian.
    Legs/wings/head, bite/eyes.
    Monstrous creature larger than any flying bird in the natural world.
  5. Fish.
    Tentacle mass/tentacles, strangling/gills/swimming.
    Grotesque squirming thing from the deeps. Sure to disgust and frighten those who see it.
  6. Bug.
    Legs/legs/legs, climbing/climbing.


    The base form of the Eidolon gives 8 EP worth of evolutions, but these may not be redistributed when the Summoner levels up. Evolutions that add body parts can be taken multiple times. If an evolution requires another, other evolutions can't be applied to the same one — e.g. if your Eidolon has claws on its legs it cannot have hooves on the same legs, and if it has improved damage on its claws it can't improve them again. Evolutions which require a specific Identity don't need to be applied to another evolution and can be taken multiple times. You may have three sets of limbs per size-related evolution. All these rules make sense, I think.

1-point Evolutions:
  1. Bite. Requires a head or the Fish Identity. Gives a maw filled with teeth or spines and one attack as a heavy weapon.
  2. Bloodcurdling Scream. Requires a head or the Avian Identity. Allows the Eidolon to produce a truly awful sound at a high volume, like a banshee or a pterodactyl or a piece of industrial machinery. Probably requires a morale check from NPCs the first time they hear it, or more often than that if they know what it means and are afraid of the Eidolon. Different screams require different morale checks.
  3. Camouflage. Requires a disguised substance. Allows the Eidolon to shift its appearance slightly to blend in with its surroundings, allowing it to hide in plain sight and giving it advantage on stealth-related checks while standing still.
  4. Claws. Requires arms or legs. Gives blades or spikes and two attacks as light weapons.
  5. Climbing. Allows the Eidolon to climb like a monkey. Take twice to climb like a spider.
  6. Eyes. Requires a head or the Biped or Bug Identity. Gives eyes, eyestalks or compound lenses allowing the Eidolon to see like a human. Can be taken any number of times for superior field of vision.
  7. Disguised Substance. The Eidolon appears to be made out of meat, or metal, or wood, or a combination of such, or whatever else you please. Purely cosmetic. 
  8. Gills. Allows the Eidolon to breathe underwater. 
  9. Grease Glands. Produce one pint of flammable mucus or fuel per day, enough to create a decent firebomb or render a 5' by 5' square patch of floor as slick as black ice.
  10. Hooves. Requires legs. Gives steely hooves and one attack as a medium weapon, counting as two-handed if both legs are involved.
  11. Horrible Presence. Children and small animals flee the Eidolon. Hirelings and enemies suffer a -1 penalty to morale.
  12. Improved Damage. Requires a natural attack. That attack's damage die steps up once.
  13. Mount. Allows the Eidolon to carry a creature of the same size without slowing down.
  14. Natural Armor. +2 AC. May be taken four times.
  15. Pincers. Requires arms or tentacles. Gives a pair of powerful graspers and one attack which grapples the target automatically. 
  16. Pleasant Voice. Requires a head or the Bug Identity. Gives the Eidolon a mouth or voxcaster
  17. Pounce. Requires two sets of legs or the Quadruped Identity. Allows the Eidolon to leap as far as it could move in a round.
  18. Scent. Requires a head or the Fish identity. Gives fleshy whiskers, a snuffling nose or a VNO allowing the Eidolon to follow scents like a hound.
  19. Slippery. Gives a mucusy coating or slick exoskeleton and a +4 on any check to escape a grapple or slide through a tight space.
  20. Sticky. Gives a mucusy coating or millions of tiny barbs and a +4 on any check to initiate a grapple or cling to a position.
  21. Sting. Requires tentacles or a tail. Gives a misericorde barb or voulge spike and one attack as a heavy weapon.
  22. Strangling. Requires tentacles or a tail or the Serpent identity. Allows the Eidolon to attempt to strangle a grappled enemy as a free action on its turn, requiring them to pass a save or fall unconscious.
  23. Swimming. Gives fins, swimmerets or webbed digits and allows the Eidolon to move through water as quickly as they can on land.
  24. Tail. Gives a tufted, scaled, bony, furred or chainlink prehensile tail and one attack as a light weapon. 
  25. Trash Compactor Stomach. Requires a head or a bite. Allows the Eidolon to consume up to [level] slots of equipment and items, which slowly break down over the course of the day. When a slot of organic items break down, the Eidolon regains 1 hitpoint.
  26. Violence. Gives +1 to-hit. May be taken four times.

2-point Evolutions:
  1. Arms. Gives a pair of arms with delicate grasping hands. Assumed to be roughly monkey/human/giant sized. 
  2. Caltrops. Allows the Eidolon to generate caltrops of metal or quill, [level] 5' by 5' squares' worth a day. 
  3. Cipher. Gives the Eidolon a cipher score of 2. It needs hands to pick locks and such, but it can be stealthy immediately.
  4. Energy Immunity. Ignore damage from fire, lightning or explosions. May be taken three times.
  5. Energy Source. Requires energy immunity. Allows the Eidolon to produce a field of any energy it is immune to, dealing 1d6 point of damage with a body slam or per round to anyone who touches it against its will (save negates). With fire it has a heat-shimmer effect, lightning errant crackling sparks, and explosions give it deeply unpleasant visual bugs.
  6. Enhanced Sight. Requires eyes. Gives your choice of night vision, heat vision, wizard vision, cleric vision or "upgrades" those eyes to one of the New Eyes.
  7. Human Size. Makes the Eidolon big and bulky at about 100kg, which (for example) would make a Biped into a big thuggish lad or a Quadruped into a mountain lion or a Fish into a big-ass fish. Strength and Constitution are set to 18.
  8. Head. Gives a lump of material for other things to stick onto. Comes with ears and a face, if you want.
  9. Impenetrable Hide. Requires at least two levels of Natural Armor. Half-damage from weapons.
  10. Legs. Gives a pair of legs with sturdy feet. One set of legs allows the Eidolon to walk and run at human speed, two sets twice as fast, three sets &c. Can be taken fifty times.
  11. Magic Spell. Gives 1MD and a spell the Eidolon might have picked up somewhere.
  12. Multiattack. Allows the Eidolon to make an extra attack on its turn. May be taken twice. 
  13. Rage. Gives the Eidolon two points of Rage.
  14. Tentacle Mass. Gives a squirming mass of tentacles. Each set counts for two sets of legs when swimming.
  15. Tentacles. Gives a pair of rubbery or rubbery tentacles. Like arms, but better at strangling and worse at playing the piano.
  16. Tremorsense. Allows the Eidolon to sense movement across surfaces they're touching within 60'.
  17. Venom. Requires a bite or a sting. The attack can deal damage to a stat instead of HP, or some other effect negotiated with the DM. Better venoms might have daily-usage restrictions.
  18. Wings. Gives a pair of feathery, leathery or canvasy wings which allow the Eidolon to fly at their walking speed.

3-point Evolutions:
  1. Amorphous. The Eidolon's flesh is mechanically undifferentiated and free of bottlenecks and weakpoints. They may squeeze through gaps the size of their head (assuming they had one), are immune to all poisons, and cannot be dealt critical hits or sneak attacks
  2. Anfractuous. The Eidolon may split into two smaller versions of itself, each with half HP (losing the odd point). No other stats change, and normal restrictions on limbs do not apply. Eidolons of normal size may split once into two tiny forms. Eidolons of human size may split twice into two normal-sized versions, and so on. All smaller versions must be destroyed before the original Eidolon may be resummoned.
  3. Appearance. The Eidolon may appear angelic, demonic, undead or as some other kind of monster relevant to the campaign. They suffer the weaknesses and gain the strengths of that kind of monster.
  4. Breath. Requires a head. Gives a breath attack like a dragon.
  5. Burrow. The Eidolon can tunnel through the earth at a rate of 5' per minute, leaving a hole large enough for a creature of their size to crawl through. If selected twice, they may burrow through solid stone at a rate of 5' per hour.
  6. Commanding Presence. The Eidolon is unusually regal and intimidating. People can feel it looking at them, if it has eyes.
  7. Disease. Requires a natural weapon. Attacks from the natural weapon spread your choice of bubonic plague, leprosy, lyme disease or the common cold. Normal infection chances apply.
  8. Giant Size. Requires human size. Makes the Eidolon huge and looming at about 300kg, which (for example) would make a Biped eleven feet tall or a Quadruped a slender horse or a Bug into a real motherfucker. Strength and Constitution are set to 30.  
  9. Hypnotism. Requires eyes. Gives the Eidolon a friendly smile. Those who fail the morale check must obey your one-word commands which don't directly harm them ("wait" to someone in an active warzone is O.K, "approach" to someone on the other side of a deep pit is not). 
  10. Spinnerets. Gives a set of spinnerets, allowing the Eidolon to produce [level]*30' of silk cord per day, and an extra 30' per hitpoint spent.
  11. Swallow. Requires a bite. Allows the Eidolon to attempt to eat a grappled enemy, requiring them to pass a save or be swallowed whole. While swallowed, they take 1d6 damage every round if the Eidolon wishes and are immobilized. If the Eidolon is killed, or if they are dealt 6 damage in a single attack, or at-will, the swallowed creature is released.

Wizard Kit:
  1. Fashionable Traveling Clothes. 0 slots worn, 2 slots carried.
  2. Walking Stick. Has a skull on it, or a smiling ducky. ⅓rd slot.
  3. Spellbook. Yours, being fairly Orthodox, is bound in "human skin" (cheap imitation) and written in "blood" (brown ink). Ten spells total. 1 slot.
  4. Black Veil. Woven in such a way that it conceals your face without significantly worsening your vision.
  5. Grapnel and 50' of silk rope.
  6. Exotic Throwing Disk. A razor-sharp medium weapon in your hands, a light weapon that deals damage to its owner on a fumble to anyone unfamiliar with it. 1 slot.
  7. Hooded Lantern. Fine specialist gear, sheds light for 24 hours on a dose of kerosene, light may be concealed. 1 slot.
  8. Three grenadoes. Six-second fuze (can detonate this turn or the next in combat, your choice), 2d6 damage within 30', save negates. 1 slot each.
  9. 3d Model of a 4d Cube. Very helpful when explaining the concept of higher dimensions. ⅓rd slot
  10. Rhyming Dictionary. 1/3rd slot.
  11. Roadmap of the Moon. Indicates a total absence of roads on the moon, though there are some pages missing.
  12. Roadmap of the Mood. Indicates a total absence of roads in the mood of the room. Usually, anyway. Its content shifts.
  13. Triple-Length Pistol. Classic black-powder pistol with an exaggeratedly long barrel. About the size, shape and weight of a foot attached to a long calf. Deals 2d6 damage on a hit, takes a full minute to reload, and fires with disadvantage if you moved this turn. -1 to-hit for every full 30 feet between you and the target. 2 slots.
  14. Loud Boots. Make a truly astonishing amount of noise as you walk, tends to scare away wild animals. 1 slot.
  15. Glass Eye. Tiiiiny hidden compartment. Can be put in your socket, if you've got a spare.
  16. Flash Powder. Blinds those who look directly at the explosion for 3 rounds on a failed save. 3 doses.
  17. Oriental Barometer. Odd little gizmo, shaped like an artificial flower, which changes color to indicate how close one is to water.
  18. Science Glove. For your right hand. Resists fire, acid, and broken glass.
  19. Superstition Glove. For your left hand. Woven with threads of alchemical sapphire, a material tangible to ghosts.
  20. A weird or inexplicable curio. Roll 1d6 on the following list:
    1. A red-gold coin whose two sides are the Donkey and the Elephant. When flipped, always comes up Skull somehow.
    2. Cosmic Bait. Looks just like a human's soul, but made from sparkly vinyl. Almost irresistible.
    3. Pair of voidglasses. Like sunglasses, but for looking at things Man Was Not Meant To Know.
    4. Intimidating Hat. Hard to explain why, but this hat is really scary. NPCs are nonplussed. 1 slot.
    5. Scale model of Hell.
    6. A single Ten Armies Boot. Two of them would have all sorts of incredible uses, but a single one only lets you balance perfectly on one foot while bracing the other (the one wearing the boot) in the air.