Monday, September 30, 2024

Was "Abandon All Hope" The Best RPG of 2010??


    No, it wasn't.

    Realistically, that honor probably goes to Apocalypse World, whose innumerable descendants we are still plagued with 14 years later. But Abandon All Hope was definitely, beyond all doubt, at least released in 2010 and that has got to count for something.

    For those of you who don't know, Abandon All Hope (henceforth AAH) was a 2010 indie RPG that described itself as "science-fiction/supernatural horror role-playing game", set in a prison-colony ship which fell through a portal into Hell on its way out of our solar system. It wasn't a particularly successful RPG, but you can find a review here and a long readthrough here that I will be liberally quoting and stealing images from.


The cover art. The best piece of art associated with AAH, which is lucky, because it's also badass.

    The ruleset itself is pretty standard, I'm sure you'd be able to intuit most of it. At its core it's a d12-roll-under system with six stats: Prowess (STR/CON, general combat stat), Reflexes (DEX, initiative and dodging), Wits (INT/WIS, perception and crafting), Willpower (SAN, saves v. bad shit), Sociability (CHA) and Intimidation (also CHA, split up because otherwise it would be overpowered I guess). Stats are 1–10. Nothing too mindblowing.

    The interesting part of AAH's rule system is how it handles its "sanity meter". I keep coming back to this ruleset, trying to figure out a way to strip it for parts, because I think there's real potential here. In short, you have three separate ten-point sanity tracks: Despair, Guilt and Insanity.

    Despair tracks up with loss of morale, confrontations with death, close brushes with mortality, and sort-of mimics how running into mythos stuff causes SAN loss in your Calls of Cthulhus. You see something horrible, you make a Willpower check to not gain Despair. But it's made a little more complex and interesting because, of course, you also gain Despair when your friends die of infected wounds, or when you take a bad hit from a roided-out Nazi armed with a safety-razor-and-toilet-brush tomahawk. The Despair track isn't measuring a weird abstract mental radiation, it's measuring extreme fear and horror in a high-stress situation. Despair accrues quickly, but can also be quickly reduced by finding some peace and quiet, getting a good meal, sleeping in a real bed, &c.

    Guilt
is similarly interesting. I've seen games that have a morality-meter, but never exactly like how AAH handles it. As a brief setting overview: AAH takes place a few centuries from now. In the aftermath of The Final War (a crippling global conflict that killed double-digit percentages of the human species), Earth is under the control of the Pan-Terran Meritocracy, a sort of Hilldawg-coded woke fascist police state. They've taken all of their criminals, veterans, old-world politicians, anarchists, free-thinkers, conscientious objectors, mental patients and detractors and put them on a big space boat with engines powered by all of the weapons-grade nuclear material on Earth piled up in a big dangerous heap (I'm not sure if that's how nuclear-powered spaceships work, but that's the backstory). Thus, every character on the ship has done something to be on it. They might have been a peaceful protestor who stood in the way of the wrong Meritocrat, or they might be a serial killer who murdered 40 women in Belgrade in the 2720 and 2730s. Thus, in addition to gaining Guilt points from doing murders, abandoning people to be eaten by monsters, or stealing food and medical supplies, every character also has a base-level of Guilt that can't be reduced. It's no good to have a high Guilt score; this will drastically increase one's risk of being eaten by demons.

These are the generic guidelines for gaining Despair and Guilt. Obviously the DM (which the game quaintly refers to as "the Warden", as if I would ever use any other term) should be on the lookout for other situations that would cause an increase, and the adventure lines (all 1 of them) are filled with opportunities for more.

    Finally, there's Insanity itself. The primary means of gaining points of Insanity are filling up your other gauges — the extreme trauma of surviving aboard the Gehenna (yes, they named the spaceship the Gehenna) slowly whittles away your character's psychological stability. I've always been taken by this system, I like it a lot more than what I've seen of the "lovecraftian" style, where you slowly get more cuckoo for cocoa pops every time you notice a room is bigger on the inside or do a wizard spell. SAN damage from impossible geometries is still a classic, but I like that in AAH you're primarily going crazy from the Horrors. It would be easy to keep yourself from completely cracking up; you just need to not be chased around by monsters, watch your friends die, be forced to kill to keep yourself alive, &c.

I forgot to mention this, but going Insane also makes you unlock your psychic powers, and there are metaplot-related things where maybe the whole prison ship was an experiment related to psychic whatevers, I dunno. The plot is not the reason the game is interesting.

    That's basically all I had to say on the topic. The DGI track is neat, and we should see more imaginative takes on sanity-meters outside of a single indie RPG that never saw real mainstream success.

    However... while I have you here, I have been intending to convert some of AAH's monsters over to the GLOG. I made a small resolution to try and post more actually-usable-content, rather than classes and vague lore meanderings (c.f. Picture Pong with Phlox, wherein you can find a small hexcrawl). This is... arguably transformative, since I'm converting these monsters into a different system and I'm fairly confident that nobody who's reading my blog was definitely going to run AAH except for the discovery of my homebrew ruleset. But just to be safe, here's the DriveThruRPG link again. So with that out of the way, here we go:




Bestiary: Demons of Abandon All Hope



    Demons are summoned when one or more people max out (hit 10 points or more) their Despair/Guilt/Insanity gauges. The more people who do so at once, the more and bigger the demons they manifest. Demons also cause increases in DGI, so moving in large groups is a terrible idea; cascading manifestations can quickly overwhelm terrified mortals.


Content Warning: General Fucked Up Shit. NSFW.


Demons of Despair

     In their natural habitat, down in the Narakas, these creatures are content to torment the deserving souls of dead sinners. When unleashed upon the world by dark magic or rifts in space and time, they are just as happy to prey on the living.


Devourer
2HD(10HP), AC as unarmored, 13 morale
Shambling corpses possessed by minor demons, with the effect of giving them horrible tentacle-tongues and fangs and claws and shit. Spiteful.
Movement: speedwalk
Size: human
Intelligence: stupid human
Attacks: +2 to-hit, a bite (1d6) or two claws (1d4), or a grapple attempt at 20' with its long horrible tongue (save v. Despair), or a horrible wail (all in audible range save v. Despair, 1/combat)
Corpse — when a Devourer takes damage, roll a d10: 1–3 leg falls off and it loses half its movement, 4–7 an arm falls off and it loses a claw attack, 8–9 its head falls off and it can no longer bite/grapple with its tongue/wail, 10 it crumbles apart and dies





Death Slither
1HD(5HP), AC as chain, 7 morale
Animated bones that stalk their prey over long distances before striking in a moment of weakness. 'Orrible.
Movement: walking speed
Size: medium dog
Intelligence: little
Attacks: +0 to-hit, a bite (1d6 damage and an automatic grapple) or a precise strike with its tail (+4 to-hit, but only 1d3 damage). Targets that are grappled by a Death Slither take 1 damage on the end of the first turn, 2 on the end of the second, &c. Targets reduced to 0HP by this damage are decapitated and instantly slain, and their head becomes another Death Slither in 1d10 rounds.




Nexper Sext
3HD(15HP), AC as unarmored, 9 morale
A wiggly six-eyed slug thing, dripping acid and paralytic venom. Always hungry.
Movement: walking speed, but capable of climbing on ceilings
Size: fatass cow
Intelligence: smart as a human, and loves ambushes
Attacks: +3 to-hit, a bite (1d6 damage) or a jab with its venomous tail (only 1 damage, but also poisons the target such that they take 1HP of damage per minute until they receive an antidote or die)
Gaze — in addition to its attack, a Nexper can also force a creature it can see to make a save, becoming paralyzed for 1d12 turns if they fail. Whether or not this is successful, this ability cannot be used for 2 turns.
All-Around Vision — Nexper Sexts have six eyestalks, and cannot be surprised or snuck up on by things it could have seen coming
Rending — when attacking a paralyzed target, a Nexper gets 3 attacks.
Slime — those who strike a Nexper in melee must make a dexterity check or take 2 points of damage from its splashing acidic slime.




Nightmare Weaver
4HD(20HP), AC as leather, 5 morale
A sort-of humanoid spider, made of twisting shadows and visions of past sins. Exceptionally cruel.
Movement: as fast as a man can crawl on all eights
Size: human
Intelligence: smarter than a human, and really loves ambushes
Attacks: +4 to-hit, a bite (1d6) or two claws (1d4), or a spray of corrosive webbing (40' range, immobilizes struck targets and deals 1 point of acid damage per round, can only be removed with fire)
Aura of Fear — Nightmare Weavers create nests near inhabited areas to torment and frighten human prey. Affected areas may be as large as a town or a city quarter. Characters who sleep in the affected areas must save v. Despair every night, and cannot reduce Despair while in those areas.
Relish Fear — Nightmare Weavers prefer to avoid direct confrontations, and preferentially target terrified humans. In combat, it will always pursue a fleeing target over any other tactic.




Engorged Horror
8HD(40HP), AC as unarmored, 13 morale
The evolved form of the lesser Devourer, these bloated mounds of blubber and rot ooze defilement and gorge themselves on human flesh. They may sometimes be found in old crypts, served by armies of cringing ghouls.
Movement: ponderous
Size: big as two horses
Intelligence: dim, but malicious
Attacks: +4 to-hit, two blows of its mighty fists (1d10), or an earth-shaking stomp with a gangrenous foot (all creatures within 10' make a dexterity check or take 1d6 damage). The horror has a +6 bonus to grappling checks, and is large and strong enough to pick up an adult human and gnaw them for 1d6 damage, no attack roll/save.
Aura of Filth — characters who come with 10' of the Horror must save or suffer a -1 penalty to all checks for the duration of the combat as they choke and gag
Feast — when an Engorged Horror kills a victim it ceases attacking for as many turns as the victim had HD, and instead devours the body. After doing so, it regains HP equal to 1/2 their original max HP. All who witness this must save v. Despair.
Tough Hide — Engorged Horrors take 2 fewer points of damage from conventional weapons.
Stomach Burst — when an Engorged Horror dies, its stomach explodes, and all creatures within 10' must make a dexterity check to avoid taking 1d6 points of damage from splashing stomach acid.
Waste Not — after its stomach bursts, 1d4 Death Slithers will emerge from the corpse of the slain Horror




Panic Feeder
12HD(60HP), AC as leather, 13 morale
These creatures stand three stories tall, and have three faces on their four-eyed skulls which babble obscenities and threats when they aren't busy eating live human beings. Quite intimidating.
Movement: like a horse
Size: a watchtower
Intelligence: smart as a man
Attacks: +4 to-hit, four attacks with its many arms (2d6 damage, each attack must target a separate creature, on a natural 20 the target is beheaded and instantly slain, struck targets must make a strength check vs. the attack roll or be grappled)
Horrifying — when a character first beholds a Panic Feeder, they must save vs. Despair, gaining 1 point on a success or 3 points on a failure.
Bites — instead of attacking, a Panic Feeder may choose to deal 2d10 damage to up to three creatures which it has grappled. If this kills a character, the Panic Feeder gains HP equal to their Despair. This can heal the Feeder above its normal max HP.
Chorus of Terror — instead of attacking, a Panic Feeder may choose to emit a horrendous noise from its three mouths. All creatures within earshot must save vs. Despair.
Tough Hide — Panic Feeders take 2 fewer points of damage from conventional weapons.




Reaper
10HD(50HP), AC as chain, 13 morale
Something like a great serpent, something like an ancient mummy. Reapers appear with a splash out of pools of blood as if they were bottomless pits that accessed whatever horrible realm they are born in. They relentlessly hunt the person whose Despair caused them to manifest, slaughtering everyone else who stands in their path.
Movement: like a horse
Size: like a man with a 20' tail
Intelligence: smart as a man
Attacks: +4 to-hit, four attacks with its many bladed arms (2d6 damage, each attack must target a separate creature)
Horrifying — when a character first beholds a Reaper, they must save vs. Despair, gaining 1 point on a success or 3 points on a failure.
Bloodthirst — a Reaper gets +1 to-hit and damage for each humanoid it has slain in the previous 24 hours.
Mark — a Reaper can choose a single character (typically its creator, or failing that the character with the most HP) at the beginning of a fight. It has an additional +2 to-hit and damage against the marked character.
Whirlwind — instead of attacking, a Reaper may warp space to shunt itself 10' through any obstacle. Characters in the path of this shunt take 2d6 points of force damage and must make a constitution check or be knocked prone. The Reaper must wait 2 turns before using this ability again.




Eater of the Damned
16HD(80HP), AC as unarmored, never checks morale
The undisputed King of all Demons of Despair. A nightmare monolith, bone and metal and malice given blasphemous life.
Movement: like a horse
Size: big as a house, and higher
Intelligence: much smarter than you
Attacks: +8 to-hit, four smashes and crashes with its fists and feet (2d10 damage, each attack must target a separate creature, struct targets must make a strength check vs. the attack roll or be grappled)
Damnation — when a character first beholds the Eater of the Damned, they must save vs. Despair, gaining 2 points on a success or 6 points on a failure
Consume — instead of attacking, the Eater may attempt to consume the soul of a creature it has grappled. That creature saves: on a failure, they die, and on a success they gain 1 Insanity as they feel their soul tugging against its tenuous link to their flesh.
Spawn — one round after a creature has its soul consumed, their body rises as a Devourer.
Iron Hide — the Eater of the Damned takes 5 fewer points of damage from conventional weapons.
Iron Will — the Eater of the Damned has advantage on all saves.
Sense Guilt — the Eater of the Damned can see Guilt as a visible aura. It ignores invisibility, and preferentially targets characters with high Guilt.



Demons of Guilt

    These Demons have a bit more of a work-ethic than their brethren in Despair. When stranded in the mortal realms, they get right to it, hunting down sinners and brutalizing them for their own good. Many Demons of Guilt are willing to cut deals with like-minded humans to synergize task applicability and maximize overall efficiency and throughput at scale.


Guilt Worms
1HD(5HP), AC as unarmored, 5 morale
Nasty little squiggles of bile and temptation. They spawn from rotting flesh, and seek out their creator to infest their brain and convince them to do Evil.
Movement: swarm of maggots
Size: swarm of maggots
Intelligence: nil
Attacks: +0 to-hit, burrow into flesh to infest a target.
Swarm — Guilt Worms are not a single creature, but rather a colony. They are automatically struck by melee attacks, but only take 1 damage from conventional weapons (fire, poison, explosions &c deal normal damage)
Brain Rot — colonies of Guilt Worms live in the brains of infested creatures, and whisper strange nonsense inside their heads. They offer to make a deal, allowing the infested creature to choose one Cost and one Benefit from the tables below. Until the creature accepts the deal, or the Worms are removed by a trained surgeon, the creature loses 1 max HP per day. If this reduces them to 0 HP, they die, as the worms have eaten all of their brain yumyum yum


Benefits:
  1. The Worms eat the host's fear, reducing accrued Despair by 1 point per instance of gaining Despair.
  2. The Worms influence the host towards violence. They have one point of Rage, regained upon a full night of sleep.
  3. The Worms offer advice and guidance in the form of whispers only the host can hear, granting them a reroll of a failed check once per day.
  4. The Worms grant their host enhanced vitality. They have a +6 bonus to their max HP.
  5. The Worms prevent their host from dying. They cannot die from fatal wounds (though they can still be atomized in an explosion, or smashed flat under something heavy)
  6. The Worms cause other demons to pretend not to notice the host. The host is effectively invisible to other demons until/unless they are provoked.

Costs:
  1. The host automatically fails all saves v. mind-altering effects.
  2. The host must save v. Guilt once per day.
  3. The host must save v. Insanity once per day.
  4. The host must kill at least one sentient being per day.
  5. The host must make a save at the beginning of every combat or fall under the Worms' control. They may repeat this save at the end of every round.
  6. The Worms are hungry for their hosts soul. The host has disadvantage on all saves against fatal effects.



Wraith
1HD(5HP), AC as unarmored, 5 morale
Formless creatures that take on the illusory guise of a person from your past; someone you have wronged; someone who has a reason to take revenge.
Movement: as human
Size: as human
Intelligence: still as human
Attacks: +2 to-hit, a telepathic slam that incurs 1 Guilt and one Despair in the target
Horrifying — characters who can see a Wraith must make a save vs. Despair at the beginning of each round
Reflection of Guilt — characters who can see a Wraith perceive them as a past victim of their own crimes. If their Guilt score is higher than 0, they must make a save vs. Guilt at the beginning of each round.
Blind to Innocence — a Wraith cannot see, affect or attack a character with 0 Guilt.
Invisible — Wraiths can only be seen by those they choose to reveal themselves to, or to characters who have 4 Insanity or more. While they are invisible, characters have disadvantage when attacking them, and can only do so if they know where the Wraith is standing.
Incorporeal — Wraiths have a 4-in-6 chance of ignoring physical damage.
Backlash — when a Wraith dies, it explodes, dealing 2d10 psionic damage to all creatures within 10'.




Corrupter
2HD(10HP), AC as unarmored, 5 morale
No one has ever seen the true form of a Corrupter. Those who can perceive it at all perceive it as a giant face pressing into reality as if against a sheer gauze.
Movement: floating at walking-speed
Size: 10' cube, more-or-less
Intelligence: as human
Attacks: +0 to-hit, a telepathic bite that deals 1d6 damage to the body and to the target's charisma score.
Horrifying — characters who can see a Corrupter must make a save vs. Despair at the beginning of each round
Invisible — Corrupters can only be seen by those they choose to reveal themselves to, or to characters who have 4 Insanity or more. While they are invisible, characters have disadvantage when attacking them, and can only do so if they know where the Corrupter is standing floating.
Mark — before a Corrupter is destroyed, it will place an invisible mark on the character with the highest Guilt that it can see. The next time that the character performs an action that would accumulate Guilt, that character rolls 1d6: on a 1–4, they suffer no Guilt. On a 5 or 6, they manifest a Sorrow Leech.
Gaze — instead of attacking, a Corrupter may blast a character it can see with telepathic whatever-the-fuck. The character rolls 1d6; on a 1 or a 2, they relive a past crime, immediately gaining 1d4 Guilt; on a 3 or a 4 they fall under the Corrupter's control for 2d6 days, or until the Corrupter is slain; on a 5 or 6, they go insane, attacking the nearest creature every round until knocked unconscious.
Symbiosis — a Corrupter can offer the same deals as Guilt Worms




Sorrow Leech
4HD(20HP), AC as unarmored, 7 morale
A blob of shadows and regret, with a buzzsaw mouth and a taste for brains. It follows its creator around, invisibly, slowly driving them to insanity. Once it's done toying with them, zzzhhhhloop out comes the brain.
Movement: as human
Size: as a big fat human
Intelligence: as human
Attacks: +2 to-hit, bites at the head for 1d8 damage to the body and 2 points of charisma damage. The physical damage explodes on a 7 or 8. If the target is wearing a helmet, the helmet is destroyed, but the damage dice do not explode.
Horrifying — characters who can see a Leech must make a save vs. Despair at the beginning of each round
Invisible — Sorrow Leeches can only be seen by those they choose to reveal themselves to, or to characters who have 4 Insanity or more. While they are invisible, characters have disadvantage when attacking them, and can only do so if they know where the Leech is standing.
Aura of Insanity — the character which a Sorrow Leech has decided to torment gains 1 Insanity per day.
Symbiosis — a Sorrow Leech can offer the same deals as Guilt Worms.




Soul Shadow
4HD(20HP), AC as leather, 9 morale
A blob of shadows, though never regretful. Soul Shadows love to make deals with nasty humans and then follow them around, using them as bait to lure in delicious prey.
Movement: as a bigass spider
Size: as a bigass spider
Intelligence: as a very smart spider, one smarter than most humans
Attacks: +4 to-hit, vicious bite (1d10)
Horrifying — characters must make a save vs. Despair upon encountering a Soul Shadow.
Many Faces — a Soul Shadow's favorite food is murderers. It can project an image of someone most fit to be victimized by its chosen prey (for a standard fantasy adventurer, a kickable goblin chuckling to itself about its big sack of gold coins). Prey must save or be fooled into pursuing the image for 5 full combat rounds.
Tongue — instead of attacking, a Soul Shadow may lash its horrible frog tongue out 30', making a grapple check against a single target. It has a +4 bonus to grappling checks. Characters who are grappled by the Shadow are pulled 15' closer to its mouth every time they fail a strength check to escape the grapple. Characters who are pulled into the mouth are swallowed whole. If they are not freed within 10 rounds, they die. A Soul Shadow may have up to two creatures swallowed at once.
Blending In — Soul Shadows are invisible in darkness.
Symbiosis — a Soul Shadow can offer the same deals as Guilt Worms, but due to their greater power, may offer two Benefits for a single Cost if that'll sweeten the pot.




Progenitor of Sin
10HD(50HP), AC as unarmored, 9 morale
Something like a monstrous female form, dripping with venom and Guilt Worms. They relentlessly hunt the guilty among the living, and mutter ghastly promises of worse fates yet in the world to come.
Movement: as human
Size: a she-ogre
Intelligence: human-level
Attacks: +4 to-hit. Bites for 1d8 damage, healing the Progenitor for the same amount.
Horrifying — characters must make a save vs. Despair upon encountering a Progenitor.
Favorite Prey — Progenitors of Sin prefer to target characters who have committed sexual crimes. Upon encountering a Progenitor, such characters must make a save vs. Guilt, gaining 2 points on a success or 6 on a failure.
Acids — instead of attacking, a Progenitor may vomit a 15' cone of acid. Creatures in the cone take 1d6 points of damage. If they were wearing armor, they take no damage, but non-magic armor is destroyed.
Lash — in addition to attacking, a Progenitor may make two attacks against separate targets within 15'. Targets struck by this attack are grappled, and must make strength checks against the attack roll to break free. They gain 1 Despair every time they fail this check.
Infest — targets who are grappled by a Progenitor for four or more rounds must make a save every round or become infested with Guilt Worms.
Symbiosis — a Progenitor can offer deals like a Soul Shadow (i.e. two Benefits for one Cost).
Pregnant — when a Progenitor is slain, roll a 1d10 to see what Demon bursts forth from the carcass; 1 or 2, nothing, this time; 3 or 4, a Death Slither; on a 5 a Nexper Sext; on a 6 or 7 1d4 Guilt Worm colonies; 8 or 9 another Progenitor; on a 10 a Thing That Should Not Be




Tormentor
10HD(50HP), AC as plate, 13 morale
A mass of flesh, wearing (for some ung_dly reason) a blindfold and a gag. Its eyes work perfectly fine, but perhaps it enjoys the challenge of being unable to see its prey?
Movement: as fast as a human can wiggle
Size: big as a stack of corpses
Intelligence: smarter than your average bear
Attacks: +4 to-hit, making up to four attacks against separate targets. Each attack produces a different effect, either Agony, Decay, Rapture or Masochism as seen below.
Agony — deals 1d6 physical damage. Targets struck by this attack must check constitution or be immobilized by agony for 1d4 rounds.
Decay — deals 1d6 physical damage. Targets struck by this attack must check constitution, or take 1 damage per round for the duration of combat.
Rapture — deals 1d6 physical damage. Targets struck by this attack must save or be overcome with strange emotions, causing them to spend the next round wandering the battlefield in a daze.
Masochism — deals no physical damage. Targets struck by this attack must check constitution or have their souls linked to the Tormentor. They gain an extra attack per turn against the Tormentor, but receive psionic damage equal to the damage they deal. This effect disappears when the Tormentor is slain.
Aura of Pain — upon encountering a Tormentor, characters must save or take 1 damage per round until they are no longer in its presence.
Punish the Wicked — a Tormentor prefers to attack the character with the highest Guilt score.
Wave of Ecstasy — when a Tormentor is slain, all creatures within 15' save or take damage equal to the killing blow.
Blind to Innocence — a Tormentor cannot see or attack characters with 0 Guilt. They are unaffected by its Aura of Pain, and take no damage from its Wave of Ecstasy.
Symbiosis — a Tormentor can offer deals like a Soul Shadow (i.e. two Benefits for one Cost).




Aspect of Revenge
16HD(80HP), AC as unarmored, 13 morale
Lord of murder, recorder of sins, and master of all Demons of Guilt, the Aspect of Revenge is a terrible foe who has slain a thousand slayers. Its hand wrote on Belshazzar's wall; its song accompanied Nero's fiddle; its shadowy form watched Napoleon waste away from the arsenic in his brilliant green wallpaper. It resembles a towering heat-distortion, sometimes a male form, sometimes female, but always not-quite-human.
Movement: as human
Size: as an ogre
Intelligence: wiser than the wisest sage
Attacks: +4 to-hit, a swipe of its half-visible hand (hits touch AC for 2d8 fire damage)
Vengeance — when a character first beholds the Aspect of Revenge, they must save vs. Despair, gaining 2 points on a success or 6 points on a failure
Insubstantial — when the Aspect of Revenge would take damage, it has a 50% chance of not taking damage.
You killed me! — any character who has ever killed an intelligence being sees the Aspect as (one of) their victim(s). Once per round, they must save vs. Guilt
Retribution
— whenever the Aspect is struck by an attack, the attacker takes equal damage (this happens even if Insubstantial means the Aspect itself is unharmed)
Wail — instead of attacking, the Aspect of Vengeance may let loose a horrendous noise that deals 1d8 damage to all creatures in earshot and requires them to make a constitution check or be frightened and lose their next turn. When it uses this ability, the Aspect rolls 1d6 and must wait that many rounds before using it again.
Shadow Spawn — characters slain by the Aspect of Revenge return as a Wraith the next round.
Symbiosis — the Aspect of Revenge can offer extremely tempting deals, with two Benefits for one Cost, or three Benefits for two Costs.



Demons of Insanity


    Some scholars believe that these Demons are not, technically, Demons at all, but some other horror from the outer darkness. After all, while they certainly cause Despair and Insanity, they don't seem to have any desire to target sinful humans over any other victim they come across. Some are even content to just... sit around, and be strange. "Perhaps", some scholars have suggested, "Demons of Insanity are real Demons, but for a separate reality than our own." The implications of this theory, if true, are not yet fully understood.

Paradox

    Powerful Demons of Insanity have the ability to damage the fabric of reality itself, with inexplicable and unreplicable effects. Here's a selection of possible Paradoxes:
  1. Probability Alteration. All successful attacks made in the Demon's presence (by them or against them) are critical hits if successful, and critical failures if not successful.
  2. Causality Distortion. The next turn that an enemy of the Demon makes is "reset" at the end. Characters remember the turn being taken, but... it didn't happen. The opponent didn't actually move, attack, &c, they only thought that they did.
  3. Temporal Impossibility. The Demon is in two places at once, somehow. They take their next turn as normal, moving and attacking as they usually do, but at the end of their turn they take another one, starting from their original location as if they had not moved or acted. The effects of both turns really happened. At the end of the second turn, the Demon chooses what location they are "really" in, and then turn order continues as normal.
  4. Gremlins. Any device more complicated than a sharp piece of metal does not operate for one round.
  5. Probability Disruption. The demon succeeds all checks and attacks for the next 1d4 rounds. "Random" rolls come up the result most beneficial to them.
  6. Advancing Time. Time moves at an accelerated rate in the immediate area of the encounter, 1 minute per round. One of the effects of this is rapid blood loss; characters who are injured during this encounter take 1 damage per round unless they take a turn to bandage their wounds.
  7. Gravity Distortion. Roll 1d6, and the result is the new "down" for the duration of the encounter: 1. north 2. east 3. south 4. west 5. up 6. down is still down, but the characters have mirror-reflected permanently; their left hand is now their right, and their right hand is now their left; effects on molecular chirality TBD.
  8. Deja Vu. At any point during the encounter, the Demon may choose to reset the encounter. The dead are alive again, ammunition and spells haven't been used, HP is restored, &c. This is straight out of the book, and sounds like a real fuckin' pain in my fuckin' ass, I recommend you skip this one.



Scuttling Impossibility
1HD(5HP), AC as leather, 5 morale
In areas with extreme reality distortion, the walls sweat a strange shining ooze that sometimes coalesces into these puntable little pink fucks. Their ugly bodies are constantly morphing and changing, growing new appendages and eyeballs and mouths and whatever. Ugh.
Movement: faster than a man in a panicked sprint.
Size: small yappy dog.
Intelligence: surprisingly, about human-level.
Attacks: +0 to-hit, one bite (1d4)
Frightening — those who encounter a Scuttling Impossibility must make a save vs. Despair
Disturbing
— those who encounter a Scuttling Impossibility must also make a save vs. Insanity, unless their Insanity is already 4 or above.
Mutterings — Impossibilities produce a constant stream of whispers, giggles, chatterings and mad piping. It's very obvious when one is around, but the ventriloquist-y effect of all this noise means the party needs to make intelligence checks to actually locate the damn things as they scuttle around.
Nibbling on Reality — when four or more Scuttling Impossibilities are in an area, they can generate a Paradox once per encounter.
Scamper — Impossibilities seemingly ignore the laws of physics. They can walk on walls and ceilings as easily as on the ground. This isn't "climbing", they just do it.
Explosion — the body of a dead Scuttling Impossibility detonates for 1d6 damage within 10'.




Thing That Should Not Be
4HD(20HP), AC as leather, 5 morale
Horrid goop-ghosts that slime through walls as if they weren't there. They don't really seem to be after any particular goal, unless "manhandle organic life and cause it to mutate horribly" is a goal, in which case they are an example to us all.
Movement: drifting like a dead balloon at walking speed
Size: as human
Intelligence: none whatsoever.
Attacks: +0 to-hit, a light brush with a tentacle at 10' away, dealing 1d4 physical damage and requiring a save v. mutation.
Frightening — those who encounter a Thing That Should Not Be must make a save vs. Despair
Disturbing
— those who encounter a Thing That Should Not Be also make a save vs. Insanity, unless their Insanity is already 4 or above.
Insubstantial — when a Thing would take damage, it has a 50% chance of not taking damage.
Unstable — when a Thing would take damage, and does, if it was struck by a weapon it has a 50% chance of still not taking damage and instead splitting into two Things that Should Not Be, each with half the HP of the original.
Paradoxical — until it generates a Paradox, a Thing That Should Not Be has a 50% chance to generate one at the beginning of each of its turns.
All-Around Vision — Things That Should Not Be have a bajillion eyes, and cannot be surprised or snuck up on by things it could have seen coming




Herald of Madness
1HD(5HP), AC as unarmored, 13 morale
Awful masses of tentacles and drumbeat feet. Audible from many dungeon rooms away, as they join their voices in song with their brothers to draw forth other Demons both lesser and greater. They've got the rhythm.
Movement: as human
Size: as a man
Intelligence: as a normie
Attacks: +0 to-hit, six attacks with their tentacles (1 damage).
Frightening — those who encounter a Herald of Madness must make a save vs. Despair
Disturbing
— those who encounter a Herald of Madness must also make a save vs. Insanity, unless their Insanity is already 4 or above.
All-Around Vision — Heralds have a bajillion eyes, and cannot be surprised or snuck up on by things it could have seen coming.
Dark Speech — every intelligence creature within earshot of a Herald's maddening music must save vs. Insanity at the beginning of each round.
Chorus of Unreality — each round, a Herald of Madness has a 20% chance (plus 10% per additional Herald) of generating a Paradox.
Scream of Madness — instead of attacking, a Herald of Madness may attempt to summon another Demon of Insanity. Any number of Heralds may join in this attempt. A single Herald has a 10% chance (plus 5% per additional Herald) of succeeding. If they do, roll 1d12; on a 1–3 they summon 2d4 Scuttling Impossibilities, on a 4–6 they summon 1d3 Things That Should Not be; on a 7–9 they summon a Dream-Eater; on a 10 they summon a Reality Cancer; on an 11 Chaos Incarnate; on a 12 Madness Given Form





Violator
4HD(20HP), AC as leather, 9 morale
These Demons resemble human organs bloated to enormous sizes. When a human's Insanity causes these creatures to manifest, they do so in the body of their creator, assimilating their flesh over the course of only hours. When the time is right, they burst forth, Hell-bent on killing every living thing they can get their tentacles on. Human, animal, demon, monster, it don't matter none to the Violator.
Movement: slow mosey
Size: as a human, but kind of mushed up into a single blob, you know? Not so tall.
Intelligence: unfortunately, very smart
Attacks: +4 to-hit, either two lashes with its tentacles (1d6 damage at 10') or a bite (1d6 damage, and puts the target in a permanent Rage, attacking the nearest creature every round until the Violator is slain).
Frightening — those who encounter a Herald of Madness must make a save vs. Despair
Disturbing
— those who encounter a Herald of Madness must also make a save vs. Insanity, unless their Insanity is already 4 or above.
Spit Acid — instead of attacking, a Violator may choose to vomit acid in a line 5' wide and 60' long. Creatures in this line check dexterity or receive 1d4 acid damage. Delicate objects are destroyed.
Acidic Slime — inorganic weapons that damage the Violator have a 50% chance of being destroyed. Unarmed attackers suffer 1d4 damage on a successful hit on the Violator.
Paradoxical — Violators have a 50% chance of generating a Paradox at the beginning of a combat.
Revulsion — when a Violator dies, it emits a terrible scream that forces everyone within earshot to save, receiving 1 Insanity on a success or 3 on a failure.




Dream Eater
4HD(20HP), AC as leather, 9 morale
Strange gaslighting things, like liberals but slightly uglier. They torment psions and wizards by appearing in the corner of their vision before lulling them to sleep, thus convincing them that the Dream Eater is all in their imagination, somehow. I dunno. This guy looks awesome though.
Movement: rapid menacing float, ignoring rough terrain and elevation
Size: big as a cart
Intelligence: very high
Attacks: +0 to-hit, two attacks with its tentacles (1d6)
Frightening — those who encounter a Dream Eater must make a save vs. Despair
Disturbing
— those who encounter a Dream Eater must also make a save vs. Insanity, unless their Insanity is already 4 or above.
Telepathic Foresight — Dream Eaters can read the minds of their opponents. All attacks against them are made at disadvantage.
Lull — Dream Eaters may influence the minds of magical or psionic targets, forcing them to save or fall deeply asleep for 1d8 rounds. Targets cannot be awakened by any means while the Dream Eater is alive.
Telekinesis — once every 1d4 rounds, a Dream Eater may telekinetically seize and throw a human-sized creature or object. Characters may check constitution to avoid this. Thrown characters fly 30', and if they strike a wall or other obstacle take damage as if they had fallen the remaining distance.
Pyrokinesis — once every 1d4 rounds, a Dream Eater may agitate air molecules to generate a flash of heat, igniting flammable objects or dealing 2d6 fire damage to one target who fails a dexterity check.
Mind Siphon — instead of attacking, Dream Eaters may suck the mental energies of creatures they have lulled to sleep, dealing 1d6 psionic damage and healing for the same amount. Victims must save vs. Insanity.
Creature of Paradox — Dream Eaters can generate a Paradox at-will once per day.




Reality Cancer
12HD(60HP), AC as unarmored, 13 morale
When the laws of time and space are well and truly boned, a Reality Cancer may appear. Their floating fractal forms corrupt reality like rust and verdigris corrupts iron and bronze. 'Orrible.
Movement: rapid menacing float, ignoring rough terrain and elevation
Size: big as a cart
Intelligence: pretty darn high
Attacks: +4 to-hit, two attacks with its tentacles (2d6)
Frightening — those who encounter a Dream Eater must make a save vs. Despair
Disturbing
— those who encounter a Dream Eater must also make a save vs. Insanity, unless their Insanity is already 4 or above.
Teleportation — a Reality Cancer may enter a right-angle to become invisible and intangible, as easily as a human can do a wee jump. If there are no right-angles, it cannot shift from this state back to normal reality, though it can see you just fine.
Ichor Expulsion — instead of attacking, a Reality Cancer may projectile vomit black ink up to 20' away as a ranged attack at +4 to-hit. The ink deals 2d4 acid damage to creatures, with exploding 4s. Upon contact with inorganic surfaces, the ink sublimates into a cloud of impenetrably black smoke 10' in diameter. Creatures reduced to 0 hitpoints by the ink are dissolved and instantly slain.
Reality Tumor — In the area around a Reality Cancer's nest, things stop making sense. Metal turns into meat. Stone turns into teeth. Vermin grow to unusual sizes. Tentacles sprout from shadows and attempt to strangle the living. Sometimes, people just start to mutate. It's obvious when one is in a Cancer's territory.
Living Paradox — Reality Cancers may generate a Paradox every 1d4 rounds.




Chaos Incarnate
30HD(150HP), AC as unarmored, 13 morale
A tower in the desert made out of bologna. A metaphor for the Phallus of the Ubermensch. A bad, bad time. Always immediately murderously violent to anything and everything that moves. Do not roll a reaction. Chaos Incarnate does not care.
Movement: like a siege weapon
Size: like a lighthouse
Intelligence: like a bad-tempered dog
Attacks: +8 to-hit, bending down to bite a creature within 20' (2d10 damage and an automatic grapple, targets must check strength vs. the attack roll to escape).
Horrifying — characters in the presence of Chaos Incarnate must make a save vs. Despair at the beginning of each round
Disturbing — those who encounter Chaos Incarnate must make a save vs. Insanity.
Crush — Chaos Incarnate can move through space occupied by other creatures. Those creatures must check dexterity to get out of its way; if they fail, they take 2d6 blunt damage. Each item these creatures carry has a 1-in-6 chance of being destroyed (check for individual items, for some reason. What a pain in the ass). Creatures trapped beneath Chaos Incarnate's bulk must pass a DC16 strength check to wriggle free, otherwise they are trapped and immobilized.
Rampage — once every 1d6 rounds, Chaos Incarnate may interrupt any turn by abruptly dashing 30' in a straight line.
Infuse — if Chaos Incarnate so wishes, it may infuse a creature it holds in its mouth with chaotic energy. This deals 1d6 force damage. Creatures reduced to 0 hitpoints by this energy become husk bombs.
Husk Bomb — creatures killed by Chaos Incarnate's strange energies can be spat forth up to 120', whereupon they detonate for 6d6 damage in a 10' radius.
Gorge — if Chaos Incarnate so wishes, it may attempt to swallow a creature it holds in its mouth. That creature makes a DC16 strength check; if they fail, they are swallowed, and utterly destroyed.
Chaos Unleashed — if Chaos Incarnate so wishes, it may deal 10 damage to itself and 1d6 damage to all creatures within 10', and half of that to creatures within 30'. It may choose to take an additional 10 damage to roll an extra 1d6.
Eater of Worlds — it takes Chaos Incarnate 60 seconds to completely consume an obstacle up to twice its size, 30 seconds to consume an obstacle its own size, or 6 seconds to consume a human-sized object.
Imbued with Paradox — if Chaos Incarnate so wishes, it may generate a paradox every other round.




Madness Given Form
40HD(200HP), AC as plate, never checks morale
The Madness is more like a physical constant than it is like a creature. It can never be permanently slain. Even the King of Despair, the Eater of the Damned, might be bound; even the Master of Guilt, the Aspect of Revenge, might be appeased. Madness Given Form simply waits patiently, mindlessly, until it may appear once more to scourge the unworthy world.
Movement: much, much faster than you could possibly ever go
Size: whatever it damn well pleases, between the size of a rat and the size of a castle
Intelligence: vast and unknowable, always four steps ahead of you
Attacks: +8 to-hit, with vicious snapping lobster claws (2d6+6 damage, save vs. mutation)
Horrifying — characters in the presence of Chaos Incarnate must make a save vs. Despair at the beginning of each round
Mind-Shattering — when a character first beholds Madness Given Form, they must save vs. Insanity, gaining 2 points on a success or 6 points on a failure.
Reality Doesn't Work — at the beginning of every round spent in the presence of Madness Given Form, it may force each character to save. The character with the worst result rolls 1d8: on a result of 1–3 nothing happens; on a 4 they are teleported to a point within 10' of Madness Given Form; on a 5 they are teleported 1d6*5' into the air; on a 6 they switch position with another random character; on a 7 they switch positions with Madness Given Form; on an 8 they vanish, and reappear 1d4 turns later in the same position.
Domination — instead of attacking, Madness Given Form may force a victim it can see to save or become its puppet for the duration of the encounter. In combat, they may make an additional save at the end of each round to break the control.
Hell Gate — instead of attacking, Madness Given Form may attempt to summon its servants. It rolls a 1d12: on a 1 the gate collapses, and it may not attempt to use this ability again today; on a 2 or 3 nothing happens; on a 4 or 5 it summons 2d4 Scuttling Impossibilities; on a 6 or 7 it summons 1d4 Things That Should Not Be; on an 8 or 9 it summons 1d3 Heralds of Madness; on a 10 or 11 it summons a Dream Eater; on a 12 it summons Chaos Incarnate.
All-Around Vision — Madness Given Form has innumerable eyes, and cannot be surprised or snuck up on by things it could have seen coming.
Source of Paradox: if Madness Given Form so wishes, it may generate a paradox at the beginning of every round.
Abyssal Call: if Madness Given Form is destroyed, one character present is infected with its influence. For the next 10 days they will suffer horrible nightmares every time they sleep, requiring them to save or gain 1d4 Insanity. These dreams revolve around an overwhelming temptation to commit legendary acts of violence and casual brutality to summon the Madness back into the world.


Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Rock, No Water, and the Sandy Road (GLOG Classes: 5e Ranger Conversion)


    Crouched in the broken shadow with the sun at his back and holding the trap at eyelevel against the morning sky he looked to be truing some older, some subtler instrument. Astrolabe or sextant. Like a man bent at fixing himself someway in the world. Bent on trying by arc or chord the space between his being and the world that was. If there be such space. If it be knowable.


    I do not like the design philosophy of 5e rangers. I do not like it. All the problems I have with fighters I have twice over with rangers. In plain words: what is a ranger, conceptually? This is not a rhetorical question, I have asked rhetorical questions about them before, but this one is a real question that I want you to think about the answer to. 

    Meanwhile, I hate 5e and I hate 5e designers and I hate the 5e Ranger and I hate everything they have written and I hate how they fear good ideas, how they hunt them down, how when they accidentally write something good (and how could they not sometimes, by pure chance, write something good? With all the shit they put out) they run in fear, and I hate how everything they do is tinged with high-effort bullshit. It's like: they know what "good" looks like, but they are convinced that that's what "evil" looks like, so they go to great lengths to destroy it. Imagine someone who truly loathes the Mona Lisa and so steals it from the museum and painstakingly cuts it into very very very fine shreds to use to line the nest of a Hampter (here take it) because they believe that that's where beauty and art are best utilized. Imagine someone who is convinced that what the world needs most is a tabletop roleplaying game about Corn (the Cereal Crop) and so spends 20 years of their life writing a 1600-page tabletop roleplaying game about Corn. That's what 5e is, I think. It's impossible to hate someone without also pitying them. I pity the 5e designers. They aren't the ones sobbing into a fistful of money, that's whoever owns Hasbro. That guy's got all the money. 5e designers are basically Luciferists or hardcore pro-Laissez Faire free market vegan restaurateurs. They're just cripplingly misled and stupid, and they'd be better off if someone beat them very badly with a piece of pipe, but it's not because they deserve punishment and pain, it's because they write shit like the 5e ranger and genuinely think (unless they know they're lying to themselves?) that it's good work. They're more in need of a hearty spanking than they are of a day in the stocks, if you're picking up what I'm laying down. If you're digging... what I'm burying...




    And now I will explain what a Ranger is to me, and convert all these 5e guys.

Ranger


    A Ranger is, in a single sentence, one who protects civilization from the wilderness. There are many similarities between Rangers and Druids, but in this regard at least the two are in perfect opposition. Rangers are guides, guardians and shepherds for their parties in the wild and dangerous parts of the world. They are the ones who recognize the worm-sign, see the storm brewing, and know how to soothe the restless velociraptor with an oustretched Jedi Force Trick Hand.

    A Ranger is also a fighting-man, with all that that entails. In many ways, at least in the D&D-adjacent design-space, Rangers really step on the Fighter's toes. I'll try to keep that in mind while writing this post, but since I'm converting 5e there's not a lot of wiggle room here. Primarily we're just going to avoid giving them a 2nd attack, and hope for the best.

    Rather than a different style for every biome, all rangers are wide-ranging. At your first template, choose two of the following adjectives: barren, populous, abandoned, forested, frigid, windswept, arid, damp, craggy, dark, coastal, spooky. While in an area described by that adjective, you can build a concealed camp, find enough food for one person, predict weather a day out, follow tracks a day old, and may protect one person from the effects of exposure and rough terrain while traveling. Every time you gain another ranger template you may select another adjective. Effects stack. Adjectives may be selected multiple times.

    Rangers can wield any conventional weapon, and can use shields and may wear any armor. At first level they choose a fighting style from the list at the bottom of this post. 

    Furthermore, every ranger has left the safety of hearth and home. Did you choose this? Why?


Hunter


    In a coat of rainproofed canvas, on soft leather boots, nocking a black-fletched arrow, goes the Hunter. Whether seeking a challenge (or just a reliable income) you have left the city behind to become civilization's agent in the wilderness. Hunters go from town to town, destroying the feral boar, the maneating tiger, the poisonous wyvern, because someone has to. It's difficult work, but if you do it well you can achieve a measure of real glory —and a bag of real coins.

Skills: 1. Poisons and antidotes 2. Mechanical engineering 3. Legendarium
Starting Equipment: Enormous 200' warbow (massive, 90' range increment, requires 15 strength) or oversized hunting bow (large, 60' range increment), quiver with 20' arrows (1 slot), hunting knife (light), grapnel (1 slot) and 100' of rope (1 slot), three steel carabiners, folding saw (light), flask of brandy, three torches (⅓rd slot each, burn for an hour), outdoorsman clothing (as leather) with a ghillie cape (as a cloak of invisibility, but only while lying motionless in a natural environment)
  • A Hunter's Prey, +1 to-hit
  • B Defensive Tactics, +1 HP
  • C Claw/Claw/Bite, +1 AC
  • D Scout's Honor, +1 HP
Hunter's Prey
    The Hunters have three traditions, which call themselves Colossus Slayers, the Giant Killers, and the Horde Breakers. These are the main schools of thought among Hunters, and every Hunter you will meet has a strong opinion on which is best (it's Colossus Slayer, Colossus Slayer is the best). Choose one of the following neat tricks:
  • Your weapons seem to always seek out the bruises and cuts in the flesh, the chips and cracks in the armor. When you strike a target which is already below its maximum HP, your attack deals an extra 1d6 damage.
  • You are always prepared to punish the grasping fingers, talons and tentacles of lumbering predators. Once per round, when a creature larger than a man attacks you, you may make an immediate counterattack on its own turn.
  • Your wheeling blows and ripostes keep the swarm at bay. Once per round, when you strike a target, you may make another attack against a second target if it is adjacent to the first.
Defensive Tactics
    Your study of monster-slaying has made you far more difficult to kill. Choose one of the following neat tricks:
  • Every wild swing from an enraged predator or whirling dervish only serves to discover their vulnerable points. For each attack a creature makes against you in combat, you gain a +4 bonus to-hit against them specifically. This bonus resets when you land a hit. 
  • Your will is steel. You have advantage on saves against fear and pain.
  • Facing a crowd, you excel at bobbing and weaving between their attacks, causing your opponents to foul each other. For each attack made against you in a round, you gain a +4 bonus to AC for the rest of the round.
Claw/Claw/Bite
    Your study of monster-slaying has given you a set of advantages to overwhelm the most dangerous targets. Choose one of the following neat tricks:
  • You can seize every opportunity for a critical hit, kind-of. When you make a weapon attack against a creature, you may choose to ignore lesser opportunities and only take the perfect shot. Roll your attack with disadvantage. If you hit, it's a critical.
  • You can shoot a whole quiver of arrows at once, poorly. Choose a circular area of radius 10' within 200'. Spend a full turn aiming a fully-loaded string of 12 arrows, then on the second turn, shoot. Roll an attack against all creatures in the area. Roll two attacks against creatures larger than a man.
  • You can fend off an army, frantically. Instead of your normal attack, you may spin in a circle and strike at all creatures within reach of your melee weapon. Roll a separate attack for each.
Scout's Honor
    Your study of the traditions of monster-slaying have reached their zenith, at least among the existing traditions of Hunters. Perhaps you will develop new techniques, and pass them on to your disciples? In the meantime, choose one of the following neat tricks:
  • When a save would allow you to take half damage from some spell or explosion or the like, you instead take half damage on a failed save and no damage on a successful one.
  • Once per combat round, you may choose to take half damage from an attack.
  • Once per combat round, when an enemy misses you with an attack, you may force them to make an attack against some other target within their reach.


Beastmaster


    Many rangers are more at home in the wild than in civilization, and consider animals more their kin than man. Some take this so far as to make pact with the wilderness, and by use of ancient druidic rites permanently ally themselves with the Green. Is this a conflict of interest? Are the Beastmasters sometimes tempted to lay down their humanity and walk, animals once more, in the shade of the trees, in the cool of the evening? Wouldn't you be?

Skills: 1. Veterinary medicine 2. Psychedelic drugs 3. Revenge
Starting Equipment: Longbow (medium), quiver with 20 arrows (1 slot), saber (medium), salt lick, three bouquets (of your choice), outdoorsman clothing (as leather) with a ghillie cape (as a cloak of invisibility, but only while lying motionless in a natural environment) 
  • A The Green, Primal Companion, +1 MD
  • B Exceptional Animal, +2 HRTS
  • C Bestial Fury +1 MD
  • D Share Spells, +2 HRTS
The Green
    You have a sympathy with the earth and the things that grow from it and crawl across it. This sympathy allows you to use a few simple spells with a handful of MD. These spells are druidic; they are not recorded in "books" with disgusting "letters", but contained in totems. For you, they occupy bouquets of dried herbs and flowers, at 3 bouquets to a slot. Casting the spell consumes the bouquet, and they are very vulnerable to fire and water.
    You can easily prepare a bouquet over a day of travel, and thrice that if you spend a full day gathering plants, but each spell you know requires an additional specific flower (referenced in the spell's name) which may not be available wild in all areas. Consider visiting apothecaries when possible.
Primal Companion
    You may summon a spirit of nature, which assumes the form of a common animal appropriate to your local, either land-bound or flying. The land creatures have the same HD and HP that you do; the flying creatures have 1 HD and [level] HP. On a Plain this is a Cat (30' horizontal leap) or an Eagle (powerful eyesight), on an Island this is a serpent (swimming, crawling) or a Parrot (human speech), in a Swamp this is a Great Toad (poison bite) or a Bat (nightvision), on a Mountain this is a Goat (powerful shove) or a Pterosaur (fireproof), and in a Forest this is a Wolf (skilled hunter) or Dragonfly (inconspicuous).
    If the creature dies (or if you want a new one), you may resummon it at dawn. It defends itself in combat, and on your turn you may direct it to prioritize a certain target. The creature can understand your language and is intelligent enough to comprehend ambushes, stealth, simple requests to fetch an item, &c.
Exceptional Animal
    The embodied spirit you summon now deals magical damage with its fangs/claws/&c, and has basic first-aid training and the ability to sprint (???).
Bestial Fury
    The embodied spirit gets an extra attack.
Share Spells
    When you cast one of your spells, your primal companion counts as you — spells that target yourself may target it, spells with a range can originate from the primal companion, &c.


Green Spells:
  1. Rose's Sleep
    R: self, T: self, D: [sum] hours.
    You appear to be dead. If you invest one [die], you are cool to the touch and won't fog a mirror. If you invest two, you smell terrible and have any wounds you wish. If you manage to invest three, you are in as many pieces as you wish over a five-foot square.
  2. Yarrow's Pollen
    R: [dice] miles, T: a spherical area 50 feet in diameter, D: n/a.
    You restore [sum]/2 HP to all plants, animals and people within the target that you choose.
  3. Aconite's Whispers
    R: self, T: self, D: [sum] hours.
    You hear the howling of wolves when someone with hostile intentions is within [dice] miles. You hear as many wolves as there are hostile people. Using it near an army might be deafening, assuming the army is marching for you.
  4. Buttercup's Lies
    R: eye contact, T: a human, D: [sum] minutes.
    The target is becomes intensely naive and distractable. They will believe anything told to them on a [dice]-in-six chance, or else loudly reject it and accuse you of pulling their leg. Targets will ignore input from leg-pullers for the duration of the spell. After the spell ends, they will not fully understand that they have been ensorceled unless someone points it out to them. Creatures immune to Charm are immune to this spell.
  5. Iris' Chance
    R: touch, T: a person, D: [dice] minutes.
    All damage taken by the target is deferred until the end of this spell, when they take all of it at once. If the damage taken would be less than [sum], they take no damage at all.
  6. Eremurus' Armor
    R: self, T: self, D: [dice] minutes.
    For the duration, you take half damage from all sources except fire and iron. Most weapons are made out of iron.
  7. Sunflower's Gilding
    R: touch, T: any solid object D: [dice] days
    The object you lay this glamor on seems to be worth [sum] gold more than it really should. This is not an illusion, but a powerful enchantment; people will invent whatever justifications they need in order to believe that the object is worth what they think it's worth. They will be angry when the spell ends.
  8. Sloe's Venom
    R: touch, T: one person, D: [dice] years.
    In addition to all normal checks, the target has a 1-in-6 chance of failure at everything. This applies to attack rolls and to saves, but also to projects on their farm, merchant ventures, marriage proposals — everything. The effect ends early if you die, deliberately end it, or upon being exorcised by a cleric with at least [dice] HD.


Drakewarden


    It's hard to raise a young dragon on the mean streets of the big city, and that's what drove you out into the countryside. As a Drakewarden, you are part of a loose-knit group who, for a variety of reasons, have been chosen to serve and be served by a draconic spirit. If you'd like, you can roll on the table for what exactly led to this:
  1. You studied a dragon's scale or claw, or a trinket from a dragon's hoard, creating your bond through that token's lingering draconic magic.
  2. A secret order of rangers who collect and guard draconic lore taught you their ways.
  3. A dragon gave you a geode or gemstone to care for. To your surprise, the drake hatched from that stone.
  4. You ingested a few drops of dragon blood, forever infusing your nature magic with draconic power.
  5. An ancient Draconic inscription on a standing stone empowered you when you read it aloud.
  6. You had a vivid dream of a mysterious figure accompanied by seven yellow canaries, who warned you of impending doom. When you awoke, your drake was there, watching you.

Skills: 1. Positive Parenting Techniques 2. Theater 3. Coastal raiding
Starting Equipment: Greatsword (heavy), brass lantern (1 slot), flask with 24 hours of kerosene (1 slot), 10x magnifying monocle, forge-blackened scale armor (medium)
  • A Draconic Gift, +2 MOVE
  • B Bond of Fang and Scale, +1 HP
  • C Dragon's Breath, +2 MOVE
  • D Perfect Bond, +1 HP
Draconic Gift
    Your association with a draconic spirit gives you the ability to light small fires with your mind within 30', fluency in the Draconic language, and the ability to summon a baby dragon ghost which is loyal to your commands. Choose a color of dragon now, if you're in a setting with colored dragons.
    This ghost appears within 10' of you in a space large enough for a big dog to occupy. It has 14+[template] AC, [templates]*5 + 5 HP, [templates] HD, +3 to STR rolls, +1 to DEX, +2 to CON, -1 to INT, +2 to WIS and -1 to XHA, 40' of movement on its turn in combat, 60' of darkvision, immunity to a damage type determined by its scale color, and the ability to speak the Draconic language. No I will not say psych. If you ever forget any of these numbers or say "uhhh, what's my dragon's strength bonus?" the DM is allowed to shoot you in the head. You better write all that down.
    If your dragon dies or you dismiss it (which you can do with a thought), you cannot resummon it until the next dawn. It can bite as a medium weapon, but unless you verbally command it to fight then it spends its turn in combat attempting to hide or protect itself.
Bond of Fang and Scale
    Your companion grows to become a juvenile dragon the size of a horse. It can fly, and you can ride it, but not both at the same time. Its bite deals an additional 1d6 of acid, cold, fire, lightning, or poison damage, depending on its scale color. You gain resistance to the damage associated with your dragon.
Dragon's Breath
    Once per dawn, either you or (at your command) your dragon gets a fuckoff massive breath attack. It deals 4d6 damage in a 30' cone, save for half, of the appropriate damage type.
Perfect Bond
    Your dragon ghost is an adult now, and you can ride around on it while it flies. Hell Yes. Heeeellll Yes. It is very good at fighting now; double all its stat bonuses and invert its maluses. Its bite is a massive weapon and its armor is as plate.


Fey Wanderer


    Were you born a changeling, or blessed by a blue fairy? Did you steal an apple from an enchanted tree, or a kiss from a fairy-prince? Whatever happened, it made you a Fey Wanderer. Your responsibility now is to the mortal and to the fey realms. As you wander, your laughter will brighten the hearts of the downtrodden, just as your martial prowess strikes terror in your foes, for great is the mirth of the fey, and dreadful is their fury.

Skills: 1. Exotic dance 2.  Circus performance 3. Folk tales
Starting Equipment: Two swords (any type), flapping black cloak with feathers (mostly useless), musical instrument of your choice, bundle of dynamite (1 slot, deals 3d6 damage within 30', save for half), outrageous outfit (-1 to reaction with squares, +2 with freaks)
  • A Dreadful Touch, Glamor, +2 SAVE
  • B Beguiling Twist, +2 INIT
  • C Fey Reinforcements, +2 SAVE
  • D Misty Wanderer, +2 INIT
Dreadful Touch
    Once per turn, you may infuse an attack with the misery and gloom of the farther, darker regions of Fairyland. This causes it to deal an extra 1d6 damage directly to the mind of the one struck by the attack. Such damage bypasses conventional resistances, though obviously is ineffective against mindless foes.
Glamor
    You're very good at lying, cajoling and pretending. When you tell someone a reasonable lie (i.e. not "the sky is blurple" or "you didn't see me stab your friend just now"), they must save to disbelieve you. If no one's around to snap them out of it, they'll take at least 5 minutes to reconsider your words; that's more than enough time for almost any scheme if you're quick.
Beguiling Twist
    You have advantage against being charmed or frightened. Once per turn, when you see someone succeed on a save against such an effect, you can force another creature you can see to make a save. If they fail, they are charmed by or frightened of you for one minute.
Fey Reinforcements.
    The royal courts of the Feywild have blessed you with the assistance of fey beings. You can summon a fairy from your patron's court. This fairy is the size of a child, supernaturally lovable by dimwitted NPCs, makes two attacks a turn with its magical shortsword, and can teleport 30' instead of walking. It sticks around for one minute. The fairy is friendly to you, but is neither loyal nor cooperative, and will likely choose whichever path of action causes the most trouble rather than what would be actually helpful.
Misty Wanderer
    With a xharisma check, you and anyone holding your hands can step briefly into and out of Fairyland. If you succeed, you silently reappear in some visible, unoccupied space within 60' of your departure point. If you fail, you still get to where you wanted to go, but you cannot use this ability again until the next dawn and at the DM's whim you may have brought along a passenger or suffered some fey mischief.

Example Fey Mischief:
  1. Left and right hands swapped. Visit Fairyland again to get them put back on correctly.
  2. Hair dyed bright blue.
  3. 1d4 teeth replaced with those of a large dog.
  4. You reappear with uproarious bigband fanfare. 
  5. All the iron components or parts of your equipment have been mysteriously transmuted into silver.
  6. You glow in the dark for 24 hours.


Gloom Stalker


    In the darkest places — deep under the earth, in narrow alleyways, in primeval forests, wherever the light dims — evil conspires against the world. There it labors. There it plans its cruelties. There it is least-prepared for the whirlwind you will sow. Where others fear to tread, there the Gloom Stalker is most needed.

Skills: 1. The Great Generals 2. Alcoholism 3. Extreme sports
Starting Equipment: Sawed-off blunderbuss (2d8 damage, 10' range increment, takes 10 rounds to reload, 2 slots), two hatchets (light), bottle of thallium tablets (10 doses, odorless and tasteless, victims make a CON check every 8 hours or take 1d6 stat damage to DEX, CON and WIS, symptoms include vomiting, ataxia and hair loss), vial of thallium antidote (1 dose), bad case of cyanochromhidrosis, dark nondescript clothing (as unarmored)
  • A Dread Ambusher, Umbral Stalker, +2 INIT
  • B Iron Mind, +1 to-hit
  • C Stalker's Flurry, +2 INIT
  • D Shadowy Dodge, +1 AC
Dread Ambusher
     The best defense is a crushing assault. If you win initiative, take two turns in the first round of combat.
Umbral Stalker
    Your enemies expect to be masters of the darkness; they are weakest when they believe they are strong. You have 60' of black-and-white darkvision. While in strong shadows, you are invisible.
Iron Mind
    Your thoughts are full of the clashing of shield and sword. You have advantage on saves against mind-altering effects, and when rolling initiative.
Stalker's Flurry
    Press every advantage! Once per round, after you miss an attack, immediately make another.
Shadowy Dodge
    The wicked think darkness is their ally, but they are interlopers in your domain. Impose disadvantage on the first attack against you every round.


Mage Slayer

    Civilization tames its magicians, and makes them weak and toothless. Only on the fringes can you find the most dangerous game. No, not humans, you dingbat. Humans are some of the least dangerous game available. I mean evil wizards.

Skills: 1. Arcana 2. History 3. Finance
Starting Equipment: Magic wand with a silencer attached, enemies in every major city, a mask of Barack Obama's face (+1 to reaction with members of the Clown's Guild), somber clothing (as unarmored)
  • A Slaying Sense, +1 to-hit
  • B Superb Defense, +1 HP
  • C Magician's Nemesis, +1 AC
  • D Slaying Counter, +1 HP
Slaying Sense
    The sorcerers you hunt have all manner of magical servants, machines and enchantments, and you need to be able to work around them if you want to destroy their master. You can identify a creature's immunities, resistances and vulnerabilities with a minute of observation, unless they are sufficiently reinforced against scrying. Once per day, you can also supernaturally mark a creature you can see. When you strike any marked creature, you deal an extra 1d6 damage. Marks reset when you sleep.
Superb Defense
    Constant training has made you superhumanly difficult to hinder. You have +4 to all saves, and to rolls to resist being grappled.
Magician's Nemesis
    A touch of sorcery makes you the lord of sorcerers Once per dawn, counter a spell or supernatural effect with a warcry.
Slaying Counter
    If some damn fool makes you roll a save, immediately attack them twice.


Swarmkeeper

    Rangers with a deeper spiritual side may become both the master of, and a home for, lesser spirits of nature, those responsible for painting autumn leaves, crafting snowflakes, and ushering the souls of mice and beetles to their final resting places. Most such Swarmkeepers are outcasts or hermits. They generally prefer to keep to the company of their attendant swarms. Still, their duties often bring them into contact with the world again.

Skills: 1. Shrine architecture 2. Weaving 3. Theology
Starting Equipment: Silver scimitar (medium), set of ten tiny black candles (1 slot), black powder pistol (2d6, 10' range increment, takes 10 rounds to reload in combat, 1 slot), powder horn decorated with dryads (1 slot), wicker mask with deer antlers (-1 reaction with mortals, +2 with the fay), ultraviolet robes (as unarmored, soothes insects)
  • A Gathering, +2 HRTS
  • B Mighty Swarm, +1 HP
  • C Writhing Tide, +2 MOVE
  • D Dispersal, +1 HP
Gathering
    Your body contains a magical swarm of tiny creatures, such as bees or pigeons or pixies. Once per turn, you can direct them to perform one of the following actions:
  • Swarm a creature within 30'. The target saves or takes 1d6 magical damage
  • Swarm a creature within 30'. The target makes a MOVE check or is shoved 15'
  • Swarm you, to triple your jump distance and height, or allow you to move twice as far on your turn.
Mighty Swarm
    You can have your swarm carry you or another person slowly through the air 10' per turn in any direction. Unwilling targets may make a move check to resist. If the swarm is hit by anything (AC as chain), they drop what they're carrying.
Writhing Tide
    Your swarm gets thicker and meaner. Their damage option is increased to 1d12, their grappling option also knocks the target prone, and when they assist your movement they also impose disadvantage on attacks against you.
Dispersal
    The swarm is more your body than your own arms and legs. Once per turn, you can disappear into your swarm, and reappear from a cloud of it somewhere else within 60'.




Fighting Styles:
  1. Archery.
    You gain +2 to-hit with ranged weapons.
  2. Blind Fighting.
    You have 10' of blindsight. Within that range, you can effectively see anything that isn't behind total cover, even if you're blinded or in darkness. Moreover, you can see invisible creatures within that range, unless the creature is fully concealed from you.
  3. Defense.
    You gain a +2 bonus to AC.
  4. Dueling.
    When you are wielding a melee weapon in one hand with an empty offhand, you gain a +2 bonus to damage.
  5. Massive Weapon Fighting.
    When you roll a 1 or 2 on a damage die for an attack you make with a melee weapon you are wielding with two hands, you can reroll that damage die.
  6. Interception.
    You can parry like a sword-shepherd.
  7. Mariner.
    While wearing medium armor or less and while not carrying a shield, you can swim and climb as fast as you can run, and you gain a +1 bonus to AC.
  8. Simple Sorcery
    You know how to do two of the following hedge-mage tricks with a few seconds of mumbling and finger-waggling:
    1. Light a flammable object at a touch,
    2. Bless a fist-sized stone, that it can be thrown with the range of an arrow for 1d6 damage.
    3. Bless a club or staff, that its base damage dice bump up one size.
    4. Produce a terrifying thunderclap with a snap of your fingers.
    5. Produce a fistful of maddened, stinging, biting insects.
    6. Freeze up to a liter of water.
    7. Project your voice through a fire that you can see.
    8. Bind a subdued or non-resisting person with tight vines.
  9. Superior Technique.
    You learn one maneuver of your choice from among those available to the Wizard archetype of Fighter.
  10. Thrown Weapon Fighting.
    You can draw and throw a light weapon, even if it is concealed, with one motion. You gain a +2 bonus to damage with thrown weapons.
  11. Two-Weapon Fighting.
    When holding two weapons, you gain a +1 bonus to melee damage and +1 to AC.
  12. Unarmed Fighting.
    Your hands are light weapons.
    You can automatically bite, strangle and tear a creature you have grappled for 1d6 damage once per turn without using an attack.