99 Problems (More GLOG micro-classes)

These classes are so much fun that I literally couldn't stop people from making them. "Stop", I said. "No", they replied.

Not relevant, but it's a good image.

1. Romantic Diabolist (start with formal clothing, collection of love letters, bouquet, very sharp letter opener) (Purplecthulhu)
   A You and a demon are madly in love. Their favor grants you enhanced luck and resistance to fire.
   B You can recite love poems in the language of demons, causing everything within 20 feet of you to save or temporarily go deaf.
   C Your lover has certain connections in Hell. You can call upon the aid of minor demons.
   D You can access your lover's apartment through any doorway by speaking their name. It's safe for you and your allies, as long as you can stand the heat.
2. Soulless One (start with no soul) (Lexi)
   A You are immune to mind-affecting magic and appeals to emotion. If you make no noise and touch no one, no one will notice you, even if they can see you.
   B You are not weighed down by a soul, and so are lighter than air. Wear heavy clothes to not blow away in the breeze.
   C Undead recognize you as one of their own and you can talk to them. They won't attack you unless you attack first.
   D You can slurp out another humanoid's soul with a touch and steal their identity. Copy all their abilities. No one will believe they are them. Their soul returns when they touch you back or when the sun rises. Your Soulless One powers don't work while you have a soul.
3. Midnight Adventurer (start with sword, leather armor, oxygen tank, star charts) (Purplecthulhu)
   A You are a sailor of the midnight seas. You own a small rowboat made of meteorite iron that can fly at night, big enough to hold four people.
   B You can breathe at high altitudes with no ill effects, and can never get lost as long as you can see the stars.
   C You have improved your star rowboat to a star sailboat. It can fit eight people, and has a pair of cannons that shoot burning starlight.
   D You can breathe in a total vacuum now. You can navigate stellar space to other planets in a matter of days, and you can't get lost in outer space.
4. Midnight Adventurer (start with a nightgown, a mug of herbal tea, and a letter opener) (Walfalcon)
   A You have an additional 75% chance of miraculously avoiding physical traps and attacks. You can only deal at most 1d4 damage on attacks.
   B You have an additional 75% chance of miraculously not being affected by malicious magic effects.
   C Your letter opener can turn into a +3 magic sword that ignores your damage restriction. If you lose it (or lost it before gaining this ability) you always manage to stumble across it again by at longest the end of the next day.
   D Your letter opener can kill gods, allowing you to replace them.
5. Flawed Diamond (starts with beautiful jewelry, fine formal wear, and a Secret) (Xenophon of Athens)
   A You're a scintillating jewel of social skills, a gem of high society. You also have a terrible Secret you will do anything to protect.
   B You can insert yourself with elegance into any social circle. You can poison anyone with ease, if it is to protect your Secret.
   C No one will ever think you're lying unless you wish them to.
   D You can seduce anyone, in any sense of the word.
6. Nanny Sorcerer (start with a sturdy wooden ruler, a big book o' rules, matronly clothing) (Vayra)
   A You're a sorcerer and can cast spells of care and warding. Roll one additional spell at each level — you can't cast these extra spells, but you can teach them. +1 MD.
   B You attract <template> young wild talents, untrained first-level sorcerers. Any losses, deaths, graduations to well-trained sorcerer, &c are replenished whenever you spend a week in a populated settlement. +1 MD.
   C Children, small animals, and figures of authority naturally trust you. You can get away with most things by blaming them on your charges and promising to enact a suitable punishment. +1 MD.
   D You attract an Au Pair, a well-trained second-level sorcerer with experience in childcare. If you can acquire a suitable location, you can start a magic school/daycare and attract a staff and numerous students. +1 MD.
7. Angled Archer (start with a bow, a quiver of arrows, a protractor, and a sextant) (Lexi)
   A You can shoot mundane arrows and bounce them off (templates) surfaces with perfect accuracy.
   B You can bounce trick arrows as well. Crafting a trick arrow takes an hour. Some sample tricks you can produce are knockout arrows, smoke bomb arrows, potion-tipped arrows, noisy arrows, arrows that split in two mid-flight, etc.
   C With enough setup time and access to your geometry tools, you can fire arrows accurately up to a mile.
   D You can shoot and bounce almost anything from your bow, even if it's ludicrously non-aerodynamic.
8. Trial Governor (start with a powdered wig, red gown, an iron gavel) (SunderedDM)
   A Once per day, you decide the result of a dice roll.
   B Your mind cannot be swayed by magic, nor can your eyes be deceived by illusion.
   C Accuse a creature you can see who has wronged you. You deal an extra (templates) damage to them. You can only have one Accused at a time.
   D Once per day, you can issue an order. Everyone who can hear you must follow it for the next minute.
9. Salamander (start with a bident, bag of coal, and charred bones) (Purplecthulhu)
   A You can spit globs of mucus that heat to burning hot temperatures within several seconds.
   B You can control the movement, color, and heat of fires.
   C Your skin becomes cracked igneous rock, increasing your defense to plate.
   D You can turn any fire into a fire elemental resembling a lizard. The larger the fire, the stronger the elemental.
10. Salamander (start with miner's clothing, a pickaxe, and three sticks of dynamite)
    A With an hour of careful study, you can destroy a ten foot cube of stone with one stick of dynamite and a whack with a pickaxe. Works on castles, and expands to a 100 foot cube for wooden buildings.
    B When you destroy something with dynamite, you may designate things to be unharmed by the blast.
    C You can sniff out precious metal like a bloodhound. You sweat black powder and can glow in the dark.
    D In total darkness, you can walk on walls and ceilings. You can navigate by echolocation and never get lost underground.
11. Spirit of the River (start with a a vial of river water and the word of the sea on your lips) (SunderedWorldDM)
    A You can swim as fast and as well as you can walk.
    B You can teleport yourself and your allies up and down waterways freely.
    C You can speak to anything in the water. Objects, plants, land creatures taking a bath, whatever.
    D You can poison the river. Choose a liquid substance. The body of water is now that. The bigger the body changed, the longer it is before you can use this again.
12. Gentleman Adventurer (start with well-tailored traveling clothes, everything you need to write a letter or contract, 200' of rope, a 10-foot pole, a lantern and three flasks of oil, an old treasure map) (Vayra)
    A Your wealth and penchant for funding expeditions are well-known — given a week, you can scare up a party of first-level adventurers in any populated settlement. Your companions get +1 to d20 rolls while you're encouraging or advising them.
    B Your famed success as an adventurer and patron of adventurers has led to an increase in your status, and minor nobility now treat you as one of their own. You get +1 on reaction rolls due to your noble bearing.
    C Everyone gets +1 to d20 rolls while following a plan that you created or helped create. Those actually in your presence get +<templates> instead as long as everything is going according to plan.
    D You know and are on good terms with one adventurer from every class on this list; roll 1d4 for their level when it becomes relevant. Name an heir - when you die or retire, they start to take Gentleman Adventurer templates in addition to and in excess of the normal template limit.
13. Benefactor of Mankind (start with a very vague idea of how real life works)
    A Your glowing, ethereal body cannot be damaged by mundane weapons. You cannot make any attacks.
    B You can heal with a touch. Save or there is some unfortunate side effect of the repair process (a hand might lose a point of dexterity, a brain might develop madness, a heart could become weak and fearful).
    C You can fly, and anyone holding your hand can also fly. You are immune to the effects of acceleration, cold, and thin atmosphere.
    D You may transmute iron into living wood, and treacherous gold into friendly and universally-loved mashed potatoes. When you encounter these substances, save or you do this automatically.
14. Benefactor of Mankind (start with a ciphered notebook filled with ethically questionable research notes, a set of long syringes, and midwife tools) (RTX)
    A You gain the ability to concoct mutagens that improve physical statistics. After about a week, affected statistics will degrade to below where they started.
    B Your mutagens can now make someone slowly develop a fully functional teratoma, taking a week for sensory organs, two weeks for metabolic organs, a month for new limbs, and three months for vital organs. You must eat double-rations while developing a teratoma, and a 25% more for every fully-developed teratoma. A normal stomach cannot digest more than quadruple-rations.
    C Mutagens may be applied to unborn children, including your own if you have a uterus. They are born with fully-developed teratomas, and can be additionally mutated to physically mature up to four times as fast. These children are your greatest creations, and you must give them all your love, or they may start to resent you. It is not hard to rallying the peasants against you — you are hardly likeable.
    D your mutagens can now transform people, and even other animals, to a drastic extent, including changing their body plans! There are no more secret flesh holds from you, and you can sculpt it just as your love of life and need to see it prosper desire!
15. Secret Beggar (start with a sign, a beggars-bowl, and a book of secrets) (Lexi)
    A You learn all secrets spoken of in your presence, even if you don't speak the language or they would be too quiet to hear.
    B You can trade secrets in lieu of money.
    C You can summon a manifestation of a secret. It's a roughly-humanoid spirit with the stats of a ghost. Will sow as much discord as it can. This works once per secret, because it won't be a secret anymore after it's done.
    D You learn a secret per day, whispered to you by the winds or the birds or jilted lovers who know what you can do and wish vengeance.
16. Secret Beggar (start with a ragged cloth to hide your nakedness, prayerbeads for a belt, a wooden begging bowl, and a vow to carry nothing else)
    A Your religious order survives on donations of secrets rather than money. NPCs know this, and generous ones will "pay" well.
    B NPCs with especially dark secrets must save or spill to you.
    C You can permanently destroy any secret that you know. Creatures with more HD than you have [levels] are immune to this, but everything else forgets.
    D If the truth of a matter is known only to you, you may alter it. After doing so, save or die.
17. Vault Tyrant (start with ragged clothes, 3 black powder bombs, a hunting knife, and ownership of a vault) (Purplecthulhu)
    A You own a large vault filled with food, gear, and treasure. You can only take up to 10 gp worth of things from it per day, due to your miserly nature.
    B You have trapped your vault, and are an expert with setting traps in other places.
    C You can see treasure, food, and gear perfectly even in complete darkness.
    D You become familiar with the locks that fill your vault. You are an expert at lockpicking and breaking into sealed areas.
18. False Heiress (start with forged signet ring, fake designer gown, chip on your shoulder, flask of cheap liquor) (Lexi)
    A You're the heiress to a mighty fortune, a long-lost niece or eldest daughter returned from adventures abroad. Your claim is shaky, but will hold up long enough for you to garner respect and loans from anyone not intimately familiar with noble politics.
    B You've convinced enough people of your claim that you've made an independent power-base. You have some followers who'll run interference for you, back up your more outlandish claims, and do you illegal favors - but they all expect your claim to hold true, you to inherit, and to be handsomely rewarded.
    C You've lied and cheated and stolen for so long that you can bribe officials and other nobles to look the other way with pretty much any charge. Just like a real noble!
    D You have the clout to confront your false relatives and force them to accept you as one of them. You're a real heiress now, and while your claim will be honored, you're now embroiled in the real noble politics of jealous heirs and backstabbing siblings. The game has just begun.
19. Shore Shark (start with fins, teeth, and an old Jaws movie poster) (RandomWizard)
    A Being a shark, you can swim and breathe underwater. Being a shore shark, you can also breathe air and walk on sand (specifically) with your fins. And you can talk. Somehow.
    B The sight of a big scary shark fin can be used to force people to make morale checks or something.
    C You can now walk on all land, and with a disguise and hooded cloak, you can probably pass for a big gray-skinned human.
    D In shallow shoreline waters, you can dismantle a ship or kill a person with a single bite.
20. Ten Thousandth Year (start with something in between martial artist's wrappings and a burial shroud) (Vayra)
    A Your fists, feet, elbows, knees, and forehead are light weapons. You won't suffer ability loss or die from old age.
    B If you would die of starvation, thirst, suffocation, or exposure (works on freezing to death, doesn't work on being thrown into lava), you enter suspended animation instead.
    C For each week you meditate on how best to kill someone, you gain +1 to-hit and damage against them until you meditate on killing someone else.
    D Enemies must pass a morale check to attack you before you have attacked them.
21. The Thirteenth (start with three days of food, a small hatchet, and a sack of millet)
    A As the thirteenth child of a seventh son, you were given to the Devil as interest on the loan. Everything you say is assumed to be true by default.
    B You can light small fires with a glare. Take half damage from fire.
    C You can buy souls and keep them in your bag. When you take lethal damage, you can send a soul to Hell instead of dying.
    D The Devil teaches you three diabolical spells. +1 MD.
22. Devoted Hero (start with a battered sword, immense self-confidence, unshakeable faith, humble origins) (Vayra)
    A Choose an oath, a short phrase that encapsulates the core of your belief. Examples: BREAK ALL CHAINS, INFEST WITH SPIDERS, FEAST ON TORN FLESH, BEAUTY ABOVE ALL, FROLIC IN THE RUINS. As long as you are fulfilling your oath you are immune to fear, never fumble, and get +1 to all d20 rolls.
    B You can tell at a glance if someone agrees or disagrees with your oath, and can make an extra attack per round when attacking those that disagree with it. No neutrality is possible.
    C When you scream your oath, any number of targets within earshot must save or be stunned for one round. This only works on each target once.
    D You take half damage while fulfilling your oath, and if you die in service of it you will rise as a revenant for 1d6 days to exact your revenge.
23. Book Fairy (start with a Book Bag and a book, A Study of the Effect of Islands on Dwarfism) (Xenophon)
    A You have a miniature Book Bag that shrinks any book into it down to your fairy size and can hold 5 books. You can fly and are tiny.
    B You can expend a book to cause a supernatural effect related to the subject of the book.
    C Your book bag can hold 10 books, and you can expend two books at once to create a more complicated effect.
    D Whenever you run out of books, there's always one nearby.
24. Young Chevalier (starts with a smallsword, a uniform, a destitute but once-great family, and Chivalrous Ideals) (Xenophon)
    A When acting on your Chivalrous Ideals, you have advantage on saves.
    B Your impeccable dueling skills give you +2 to-hit and +2 AC vs enemies with swords.
    C You have a chaste and chivalrous love with a rich young socialite, and their favor can aid you greatly.
    D You cannot die while protecting the innocent. If you would, your death is postponed until they are safe.
25. Heartwreck (start with an ex who broke your heart and a pile of bad looseleaf poetry) (Lexi)
    A They left you and you will never love again. Your heartwrenching sobs will cause anyone to pity you and spare you a moment of conversation.
    B They left you and you cannot see any reason to go on. You can induce strong emotion in any who hear or read your poetry (but all your poetry is tragic).
    C They left you and you've lost what little you had in this world. Everyone who knows the tragic tale of you and your ex has a soft spot for you and will care for you.
    D They left you and perhaps there is light somewhere, somewhen, but not here or now. When you find a new lover, you can immediately change all templates in Heartwreck into a class of your choice related to your new lover's profession and interests, but you return to Heartwreck A once your new doomed romance ends.
26. Light House (start with furniture, decorations, appliances, some leftovers in the fridge) (Purplecthulhu
    A You are a three bedroom two bathroom house. Despite your size, you, and everything inside, weighs about as much as a shoe. Anything taken out of you reverts to its original weight. You can speak through radios or the tv.
    B You can open, close, lock, and unlock your doors and windows at will. You can also control lights and electrical appliances, even with no power source.
    C You have an alarm system installed within you. You also grow tiny, stubby little legs to walk around on.
    D You now have a safe filled with HIGHLY ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY (modern day guns) inside you.
27. Light House (start with a bedroll and a green flame lantern) (SunderedWorldDM)
    A You give comfort. Nothing can bother you or your allies as you rest.
    B You are a beacon. On your turn, you can instead give your turn to an ally you can see.
    C You blaze a path through the storm. Your party cannot get lost in the wilderness.
    D You become vaster than yourself. Choose three allies. Sacrifice yourself to make them safe, forever.
28. Enigma Woman (RandomWizard)
    A Every morning, generate a new set of templates up to your level (keep this template). Benefits usually don't carry over when you lose the template, but XP does.
29. Witch of the Cliffs (start with a cauldron of sea water, a conch shell, a ragged grey robe, and a witch's hat) (Lexi)
    A You can vaguely divine the future through the sounds of the sea. The GM rolls the next <templates> random encounters, and you can choose which order to meet them. This ability resets after you confront them all, or if by the sea, after confronting one.
    B You can never lose your balance or fall. You can conjure gusts of salty sea air at will, so long as your cauldron is full of sea water.
    C You can summon small sea creatures like crabs or eels from your cauldron, so long as it is full of sea water.
    D You can summon large sea creatures like sharks or sea turtles from your seawater cauldron, like sharks or sea turtles. so long as it is full of sea water.
30. Black Forest Wolf (Xenophon)
    A You're a large wolf, with all that entails.
    B When you growl at someone, they must Save vs Fear or flee in terror.
    C Your ferocity is such that you have advantage on all damage rolls.
    D You have a pack of 3d6 wolves, slightly smaller but no less fierce than yourself.
31. Black Forest Wolf (start with a flintlock pistol, a long saber, and a well-trained horse)
    A Always deal maximum damage on a surprise round.
    B NPCs usually accept your offer to duel. 5-in-6 chance of winning a normal duel.
    C Attract 2d6 superstitious bandits, who will serve you in exchange for a share in the loot.
    D Attract the attention of the King, who will pay you a huge sum of money to move to a different country and harass someone else. This ability resets every year or so.
32. Mystery Murderer (start with boring clothing, cleaning supplies, murder weapon of your choice) (Purplecthulhu)
    A You are an expert at cleaning up the scene of crimes, and can remove all evidence pointing to you within an hour.
    B You can follow people without appearing suspicious, and have an instinctive knowledge of when they're going to be alone.
    C Copycat killers have sprung up in your wake. They draw attention away from you, and idolize you, following your commands.
    D The body may be dead, but the spirit of the crimes lives on. If you die and have a copycat killer following you, you take control of them as they inherit your title.
33. Witch's Son (start with ill-fitting clothing and the resentment of your mother)
    A Witches are supposed to have daughters. You are immune to magical damage and healing.
    B You can see demons, ghosts and angels, and can interact with them. They don't like you very much.
    C Dispel enchantments as a wizard of the same level by sacrificing 1d6 HP.
    D Take a level in fighter. No point sticking around here any more.
34. Cursed Stepmother (start with an apron, a frying pan, and two blind daughters) (Phlox)
    A Your stepchild is the villain of whatever story this is. Accordingly, you know a lot of personal information about them and get bonus XP for defeating them.
    B Your rich husband, off making business deals, frequently sends you gifts. While in town, spend 5 gp to get a package, then later retroactively declare it to be a fine item you can kind of jury-rig into being useful.
    C +4 to charisma checks if your target's mother would be ashamed of their actions.
    D Restore sight to two of your daughters' eyes. Also, your husband dies, leaving you a sizeable inheritance and a potentially fruitful business on the brink of destruction.
35. Roper (start with frayed rope around your neck, ruined clothing, mild amnesia)
    A Besides the broken neck, you are naturally lucky. Advantage on every save.
    B If you are wearing a brace of pistols and have surprise, you get two shots as initiative is rolled.
    C Your skills have returned. Treat all mundane doors as unlocked, and ignore penalties for fighting in darkness.
    D The crime that got you hanged — the loot! You remember where you stashed the loot! Piles of cash and jewels and artifacts, if you could only get there first.
36. Weaver Vizier (start with filed teeth, a purple robe, an extra-large bucket of opium) (BaaL)
    A Your social circle is a complex web of shallow relations. You are able to convincingly and officially act on behalf of anyone in your social circle, even without their knowledge or approval.
    B You are never blamed for an action taken on behalf of another. You were merely following ”orders”.
    C People within your social circle see you as the one person they can confide in or trust. In this bleak world, you are a beacon of virtue.
    D Words you whisper to acquaintances are mistaken for their own thoughts and opinions.
37. Wehr-Wolf (start with an extremely flamboyant early modern military outfit, a pair of gauntlets, an arquebus with powder horn and 20 balls, a zweihander, a belt knife, an empty purse) (vayra)
    A You are trained in basic military tactics and strategy of the pike-and-shot era, and can turn into a man-sized grey wolf. When working for an organization, you are considered a dreifachsöldner:  paid twice for carrying a zweihander and standing in the front line of combat, and a third time for the wolf.
    B Whenever you spend a week travelling with soldiers, sailors, or others of similar profession, roll <templates>d8. You gain that many gold pieces worth of miscellaneous coins, gems, jewelry, and IOUs. If a die comes up 8, someone was broke, couldn't pay you, and now owes you a serious favor.
    C You get an extra attack per round.
    C You can turn into a man-sized grey wolf with opposable thumbs, with all that that entails. When wielding a zweihander and wearing gauntlets, you can treat it as a greathammer, an estoc, or as normal, depending on which is most advantageous.
38. Vileroy (start with a two-handed sword, a suit of plate, and a squire carrying a banner - CLOSED HAND, GULES, ON SABLE FIELD)
    A An explanation of your childhood convinces most justice-minded NPCs that the king must be overthrown. Your allies wear red ribbons.
    B Extra attack per round.
    C While they hear you screaming a battle-cry, your allies never roll morale or saves vs. fear.
    D The time is right and all the pieces are lined up. At your command, a civil war will erupt.
39. Forest Child (start with leaves, bark, roots, branches, a trunk) (Vayra)
    A You're a tree, with all that that entails. Your body gives shelter to woodland insects and perhaps a small bird. Anything non-sapient that makes its home in, on, or under you will carry out your will, without realizing that's what it is doing.
    B You've become a small copse of trees. Your roots can buckle pavement, and your branches can shelter birds and small woodland creatures like squirrels and foxes.
    C You've become a mid-sized grove, and acquired some underbrush. You can shelter larger woodland animals such as wolves and boars within yourself.
    D You are a forest, vast and impenetrable. Your depths shelter great creatures like bears and tigers, and at least one druid (druids aren't sapient).
40. Victim of a Name (start with a name that is yours, and a name that is not yours) (Lexi)
    A Everyone knows you by a name that is not yours. You can make immediate sneak attacks against anyone who calls you by that name.
    B You can steal others' names if they call you by a name that is not yours. No one can refer to them until you choose to give them their name back. You can only have <templates> names stolen at once.
    C You can give others names that are not theirs, which will stick. They may make that name their own and take on its qualities, or they can reject it and become a Victim of a Name.
    D You know when anyone calls you a name that is not yours and can teleport to their side.
41. Woke Vicar (start with irreconcilable cognitive dissonance, a vicar's robe, a holy book, a second-wave feminist book, a Maoist-third worldist book, and a self-help book) (Vayra)
    A You can pose unanswerable questions, which force the person being asked to roll Intelligence or be stunned for as many rounds as you spent asking the question.
    B You instinctively know what to say to make people angry, and can goad anyone into a fight by rolling opposed Charisma.
    C Given access to a grand ball, town crier, posting-tree, doors of a church, or other method of disseminating information to the masses, you can thoroughly ruin anyone's reputation.
    D Choose a passage from one of your books. It becomes true within your line of sight.
42. Vampyr (start with a crossbow and 20 bolts, a wooden stake, and a holy symbol) (Walfalcon)
    A You can detect the presence of any undead within 1 kilometer. You must drink holy water every week or be compelled to drink fresh humanoid blood.
    B Take 1 fewer damage from mundane weapons, and deal 1 more damage to undead.
    C You can hit incorporeal undead with your weapons as if they were corporeal.
    D You can imbue your attacks with the power of the sun, dealing 1d6 unhealable damage to undead.
43. Vampyr (start with fancy clothing, a razor-edged poniard, and a broken handmirror)
    A For every twenty-four hours you go without feeding on an intelligent creature, save or lose your mind until it is done. Feeding automatically fails if the target can defend themselves at all, heals you by 1d6, and deals the same in constitution damage. Your nails and teeth lengthen and clatter like coins by moonlight.
    B Intelligent creatures cannot break eye contact with you if you do not allow it, and are vulnerable while so mesmerized. Your eyes reflect like burnished silver by moonlight.
    C You are weightless if you want to be. Ignore damage from mundane weapons.
    D By night, you are immune to everything but fire.
44. Murdered Lover (start with a mortal wound, a bloodstained collection of love letters, a strange-yet-deadly weapon, and a locket with your love's portrait inside) (SquigBoss)
    A You are dead, yet still have some semblance of life animating your dead-yet-beautiful corpse. If you would die, you instead don't, instead rising 1d6 days later. Choose another party member; they are your lover. When close to your lover, they have +<template> on saves. Whether or not your lover realizes this up for debate, but they cannot take another love while you still walk.
    B You do not know who your murderer is, but know the exact distance and direction to them from where you currently are. You can track their trail like a trained bloodhound.
    C You can now enter the dreams of both your lover and your killer, and communicate to them in that fashion. You can choose whether to send sweet dreams or nightmares.
    D You can force anyone who sees you to save vs. fear or be afraid while you are in their presence — except for your lover. Once you are avenged on your killer, you either: Die peacefully, if this is a tragedy, but leave your lover to wonder and dread, or: be magically resurrected, if this is a comedy, at which point you and your lover retire to grow old together.
45. Murdered Lover (start with your corpse, a locket with your portrait, and a rotten coffer of your favourite meal that you can no longer eat)
    A You have two parts - a ghost and a skeleton. You can move them independently, but your ghost cannot move more than 120 feet from the skeleton. The ghost can see and hear, but you have no access to other senses. The skeleton fights as a skeleton monster, and can be repaired if destroyed.
    B You gain a general idea of where your murderer and your former lover  are, making you aware of what continent they are on if you are on a different one, or otherwise making you aware of what 100-mile radius they are in. You gain +<template> to saves while within 25 miles of your lover, and +<template> to to-hit while within 25 miles of your murderer.
    C You can reconcile your two parts - combining them lets you fight as a player character of the same level, as well as granting you +4 AC and +30 feet of speed if not wearing armour.
    D From this point onward, if you reconcile with your lover, you can permanently merge your ghost with your skeleton, making the latter grow flesh, which will take 1 month to complete. If you avenge yourself, but leave your murderer on death's door, you can possess their body. They will never die as long as they are possessed by you, and will be able to sense everything their body normally would, but will be completely under your control. You probably won't make it to heaven.
46. Slave Queen (start with manacles, a prison shank, and a wooden replica crown) (RandomWizard)
    A You have 1d4 escaped slaves as retainers. None are especially competent (probably children or former farmers), but they’re fanatically loyal to you.
    B People have an additional 2-in-6 chance to actually follow and listen to your royal decrees. Slavers have a 4-in-6 chance.
    C Restraints shatter, tattoos and brands fade, and symbols of imprisonment crumble at your touch. Slavers must save or flee in terror just while being in the same room as you.
    D With an hour of impassioned speech, you can lead a large group/plantation of slaves into a full revolt. They can put together improvised weapons and tactics with incredible competence. If it succeeds (it probably will), another 1st-level Slave Queen emerges from the group.
47. Valentine Fox (start with a bindlestick and 1d6 rumors of wealth)
    A You are a fox, but no one holds that against you. You can still manipulate objects in your paws and speak with the suckers normal people, who trust you until you give them a reason not to.
    B If you spend an afternoon in fraud, you have a 2-in-6 chance of doubling your cash, a 2-in-6 chance of going broke, and a 1-in-6 chance of catching the attention of the Law.
    C You can perfectly mimic the voices of anyone whose head you own. You can send the head off as a letter, and have it say whatever you want to the recipient.
    D Losing your head does not kill you, though you can pretend it does.
48. Unhappy Bride (start with a tear-stained photo album, a luggage thing (I forgot the word) of neatly folded clothes, and a bottle of vodka) (RTX)
    A You get a dog that likes you very much, but unfortunately also likes your spouse. The dog has stats like wolf, regardless of their stature.
    B You get +4 to all rolls, +2 to saves, and 10 temporary HP when drinking vodka with some form of fruit juice.
    C Your dog gains +1 HD, +2 to-hit, and starts to hate your spouse, gaining an additional +4 to-hit against them.
    D You get over your terrible marriage to the point where you can go back to the house and kick the fucker off. If you succeed, you may peacefully retire.
49. Undine (start with a bunch of javelins, plate mail, and overused Undertale jokes) (RandomWizard)
    A You can perfectly track the movements of children through an area. While attacking them, you can make your attacks cause no death or permanent injury at will.
    B Being a fish, you can swim, breathe water, and befriend other sea creatures.
    C You have a lizard scientist girlfriend or something. She can build or improve your equipment, or send some weird mutated monsters to help you out in a bad situation.
    D When you would die, you can instead fight on with raw willpower for 5 minutes or so, slowly disintegrating in the process. You also get a really good battle theme to go with it.
50. Sound Somnambulist (start with a set of panpipes or a didgeridoo, foppish clothing, a sack of grain) (Vayra)
    A You're an expert musician. You can move around and fight, climb, play the didgeridoo, etc in your sleep, though your part in any conversation will be extremely disjointed.
    B While you play your instrument, up to <templates> sleeping creatures that can hear you fall under your control and do exactly as you intend. They will not awaken as long as you keep playing.
    C You can project a cacophonous nightmare into the dreams of anyone sleeping by playing your instrument, dealing them <templates> damage per round. You can target as many creatures as are within earshot.
    D Anyone who hears you play your instrument must save or fall asleep. Passing the save renders them immune until the next time they sleep naturally.
51. Valet Murderer (start with an extremely expensive suit, leather gloves, a garrotte and a wealthy master)
    A You serve a Gentleman Murderer, but he is very busy and often sends you to do his errands. You face no legal repercussions for murdering people he designates. It's not hard to convince him to designate your own enemies.
    B Local guards and military will supply you with weapons and intelligence if they know who you are (and your target isn't one of them).
    C If you are left alone for an hour with a body, you can remove all evidence or leave false evidence inculpating some other Murderer and removing social repercussions for the deed.
    D Whenever you choose, murder your master and take his place. You have a title and a significant inheritance — and a new, helpful valet...
52. Substance and Shadow (start with a large cloak, two collapsible batons, and a bullseye lantern)
    A Fall towards a light source and your shadow will rise out of the ground. Harsher light makes it stronger. You cannot interact with anything while inside the ground.
    B Your shadow is denser and better-defined. By altering its shape, you can give it different abilities, like flight or natural weapons.
    C Your shadow is as strong as two men. People do not notice you unless specifically searching for you.
    D Your shadow can speak in your voice, and if it is wearing your clothes most will assume it is you. You are invisible in soft light.
53. Substance and Shadow (Xenophon)
    A You are a cursed object with a storied history. You can manifest as a shadowy spirit once per night, but can't affect anything in the physical world.
    B In shadow form, you can whisper and cause slight breezes.
    C In shadow form, you can move small objects and manipulate finely.
    D You can transform your shadow form into a real human body, but if this body dies you die.
54. Favorite Queen (start with a popular novel, fancy clothing, and a muff pistol)
    A You have two lovers vying for your affections. They are something else on this list. Roll randomly.
    B Your lovers have leveled up and are eager to prove their devotion. They will undertake brave quests you designate.
    C Choose a new 3rd lover of your choice. The three of them will do anything you say.
    D Two of your lovers kill each other in a duel; the third is now a 4th level character. You can marry them, or murder them to become a 4th level Lady of the Fell House.
55. Stranger Grave (start with outdated occult texts, heresies, and treasure maps, as well as a wave-bladed dagger) (Vayra)
    A Demons, the undead, and animal predators are aware you are nobility and have authority over them. Their reaction to this may vary.
    B You can enter a fugue state, giving you an X-in-6 chance (where X is 6 minus your current fatigue) of +4 MD for ten minutes. You get 1d4 fatigue afterwards.
    C You can always successfully flee witch hunters and religious enforcers. Also, learn +1 rumor when interacting with a source of forbidden knowledge or eldritch lore.
    D You learn what, if anything, can remove you from your office. Also, once per foe per combat, you can spend your turn telling them to do something and they will do it.
56. Story Teller (Starts with a small harp and an endless supply of stories) (Xenophon)
    A When you tell a story, your audience must save or be enthralled until you complete the telling.
    B You can tell a story of such beauty that any who hear it must save or repent of their evil deeds.
    C You can tell a story of such sadness that any who hear it must save or weep for 1d4 hours.
    D You can tell a story of such horror and power that any who hear it must save or die.
57. Dark Star (Xenophon)
    A You are a quite literally a dark star of evil omen shining down upon the Earth. You can see anything that happens under the sky, and can communicate through blinking. You can curse any who walk in your light to take 1d4 extra damage whenever they take damage.
    B You can cause a pillar of vile light to shine down once per night. Any who stand in it must save or become corrupted and evil.
    C The denizens of your surface will fight on your behalf. You can summon 1d4 Star Beasts to attack your foes once per night.
    D The constellations have aligned. Your allies on Earth can perform an unholy ritual to switch you with the Sun, ensuring your reign over the Earth.
58. Dark Star (Purplecthulhu)
    A You are a tiny floating star, around the size of a person's head. You can hold items with your gravitational pull, and you give off heat, but not light.
    B You can create images out of swirling stellar dust. It's thick enough to block vision.
    C You can generate bursts of radiation, withering plants and killing small animals. It won't kill humans, but it might sterilize them and definitely give them horrible cancer in a couple of years.
    D If you die, you turn into a tiny blackhole, with all the implications that apply. If you die as a black hole, you're dead for good.
59. Omen of the Grave (Start with a shovel and a tome of all names) (Walfalcon)
    A Read someone's name out of your tome in order to make someone take 1d4 unhealable damage every time they are wounded. You cannot read another name until you bury a fresh humanoid corpse.
    B Read someone's name backwards to give them a 50% chance of surviving death. This effect lasts and cannot be used again until someone whose name you read forwards has died.
    C Seven times per week (resetting on Friday at 2400) you can determine someone's true name by looking at them.
    D You no longer need your book to read names.
60. Soldier of Fortune (Starts with a military saber, a lance, a flintlock pistol, a hussar's uniform, and a horse) (Xenophon)
    A You can travel with alacrity over any terrain, mounted or unmounted, and you can wake from sleep at even the slightest suggestion of danger.
    B You can attack twice per round, and are a skilled scout.
    C Your fame has spread. Strangers have a 2-in-6 chance of having heard of your exploits, good and evil.
    D You can inspire even the greenest troops to feats of greatness with your mere presence, and even the most hardened veterans flee your enmity.
61. Soldier of Fortune (start with a short blade, a long blade, a shield with an unfamiliar coat of arms, and a backpack of miscellaneous survival gear (1-in-2 chance of having something you need)) (Lexi)
    A Whenever you travel to a new region, you may learn a fighting style or ability from the people who live there. Learn two at creation, one from your home region far away, and one from where you begin the campaign.
    B Whenever you fail a save that you haven't failed before, get +2 to future saves against that effect.
    C You can tell inspiring stories around the campfire, giving everyone advantage on a related test the next day. Your tall tale has to be at least mostly true to your personal experience.
    D Get Zouave's A template. You may now start taking templates of Zouave as you continue to level up.
62. Maniac Mother (start with old dress and apron, butcher's cleaver, poisoned cookies) (Purplecthulhu)
    A You're a perfect Stepford wife. You can cook and clean supernaturally fast, and no one can know your true feelings about something without mind reading.
    B While inside a house or other lived-in place, you have a vague idea of what everything within is doing. You don't know what kind of creature they are, and you can't sense mindless creatures.
    C When inside a building, you can teleport to any doorway inside that you've been through before.
    D You're more than just a housewife; you become a housewife. While inside a house or other lived-in space, you can walk through walls, extinguish lights, make food poisonous, and generally cause terror.
63. Smuggler King (start with 100 gp in stolen goods concealed about your person and a functionally infinite supply of hidden knives) (Lexi)
    A Everyone in the criminal underground knows your name and respects you. They'll rip you off the absolute minimum amount and are willing to do favors to stay in your good graces.
    B You can hire stealthy mundane transport from anywhere to anywhere else on a moment's notice.
    C You've either been through or heard of every secret passage and hidden door, and can open any door given enough time and tools.
    D You learn the location of something so incredibly valuable you'll be able to retire forever and live like true royalty. You've only got one window of opportunity. Make it count.

The themes of this batch tended towards fairy-tale rather than gothic horror (except for the stars). We are now at ninety-nine of these things!