Monday, July 6, 2020

Action 52 (52 GLOG classes)

I wrote a list of fifty class names, and the OSR Discord filled it out (Phlox did fifteen on his own here).
Nicked this list from udan-adan and converted it into class names.

  1. Betrayed (start with a sword, a shield, and a keepsake) (Phlox)
    A +1d6 damage against those whom you have sworn vengeance against; random encounters automatically include agents of those whom you have failed to bring vengeance against.
    B Automatically succeed when interrogating servants of your foes, so long as they have fewer HD than you.
    C Self-sabotage. You can always cause someone to slight you. Also, get 1 DR against environmental damage; it won’t be this that kills you.
    D When a spell reduces you to 0 or less hp, you learn it. +1 MD.
  2. Forsaken Grave (start with outdated licenses, seals, and writs, as well as a roundel dagger) (Phlox)
    A Convince commoners and animals you are nobility with authority.
    B You can enter an indignant rage, giving you +4 charisma for ten minutes. However, you must attempt to convince rather than physically attack, and get 1d4 fatigue afterwards.
    C You can always successfully flee nobles and legal enforcers. Also, learn +1 rumor when investigating ancient constructions in your nation of origin.
    D You learn what, if anything, can restore you to your original office. Also, once per foe per combat, you can spend your turn telling them to do something and they will do it.
  3. Blighted One (start with a bell, a staff, a bucket, and leprosy or something) (Phlox)
    A Intelligent enemies do their best to avoid touching you.
    B You and an opponent you touch both test constitution. The one who fails takes 1d6 attribute damage of your choice.
    C Reattach dismembered limbs with mud. Also, charm vermin and insects.
    D Throw a limb at a foe. They save vs. fear or flee.
  4. Stone Druid (start with a stone sickle, a homesick raccoon, and a geode) (Phlox)
    A Spend Stone Dice to ask small favors of stone, +1 SD
    B Spend SD to move stone walls, floors, and ceilings, +1 SD
    C Spend SD to become animate stone, +1 SD
    D You can create permanent Stonehenge Golems, +1 SD
  5. Black Towerer (start with very stretchy shorts and a sling) (Phlox)
    A Allies can climb you as easily as a ladder. They get +2 to attacks against foes lower than them.
    B +1 story in height, take half damage from projectiles.
    C +1 story in height, see all potential random encounters far in advance.
    D +1 story in height, carry twice as much but you cannot reach these new inventory slots yourself.
  6. Bandit Monk (start with a pair of tonfa, a rustic hat, and a burlap sack) (Phlox)
    A While carrying rural or no weapons and wearing light or no armor, leap 15 feet (horizontal or vertical).
    B When you hit someone while unarmed, take a random item from them. (Not their wielded weapon or worn armor).
    C +2d6 to dexterity tests while unobserved.
    D If you have mostly cleared out a dungeon or hidden wilderness outpost, automatically gain bandit followers each month.
  7. Accursed Skeleton (start with a flesh prison, a cutlass, and a breastplate) (Phlox)
    A Your bones regrow at 4 AM every day. This heals bone-related injuries. Also, dogs hate you.
    B Break off a finger in a lock to unlock it. Also, you can attack twice at half damage.
    C You can cause your ribcage to explode, damaging everyone in front of you for 2d6, save halves.
    D Take half damage from slashing and piercing weapons. Crack your skull to negate fall damage.
  8. Hour of Retribution (start with a pocket watch, righteous indignation, ghost clothes) (Gorinich from the OSR Discord)
    A You're a ghost haunting a pocket watch. You die if it stops, and you are invisible and immaterial while being observed.
    B You gain 1 MD whenever you witness a crime go unpunished (crime meaning some grievous act that effects your personal code of ethics). Spend MD to do spooky shit.
    C Whisper about what's coming into someone's ear and they will constantly hearing a clock ticking.
    D When you hear a person proclaim an oath of vengeance, you can give them one of your MD.
  9. Black Mantle (start with a fabulous black cloak, formal wear, cane sword, pocket sand) (Gorinich)
    A When you wear a black cloak, nobody can recognize you as the same person without the black cloak, no matter how obvious it is.
    B You always succeed when trying to physically blind normal people, and can attempt to blind normally unblindable ones.
    C You can walk or run or dance on a tight rope without fear of falling.
    D Nobody can interrupt you when you're in the middle of a dramatic monologue.
  10. Secret Monk (Archon's Court)
    A Your order has taught you many things. You automatically pass all checks related to gathering public information (history, the sciences).
    B Secrets can be seen with ease. Speak someone's secrets back to them to get an emotional response (provoke them, force a Morale check, etc.)
    C The mind is an organ, like any other. Once per day, when you hit with an unarmed attack, you can cause someone to forget 3 things.
    D Nothing can be hidden from you. Once per day, root through someone's mind, and learn all they know.
  11. Phantom Ship (start with an ethereal cutlass, fine tattered coat, half a dozen buccaneers, and spyglass) (Lynn)
    A Your dead crew can sing and dance in perfect rhythm.
    B Always survive a shipwreck.
    C Pass through walls.
    D Ride your spectral vessel at full speed. It is intangible to the living.
  12. Wizard of the Sea (start with an air bladder, a monkey, and a gold armband) (Phlox)
    A Throw gusts of air at will.
    B +1 MD. Cast sea-related spells.
    C +1 MD. Can now become a crab or sea creature at will.
    D +1 MD. Charon will do you favors now, preventing foes from resurrecting.
  13. Castle Fiend (start with 10 bricks, tattered pants, and a bucket of mortar) (Gorinich)
    A When you hit someone with a brick from up close, everyone else won't notice it.
    B You may drop 1d4 items to reroll attempts to climb, sneak, or harass.
    C You can instantly extinguish anything smaller then a bonefire.
    D You can throw up 5-by-5 wall in five minutes.
  14. Companion of Silence (start with chardun manacles, a simple robe, and a quarterstaff)
    A Choose whether or not to be silent at the start of each day. While silent your strength score is doubled but you must save vs. death if you make any sound (this includes firing guns or stepping on twigs).
    B You can communicate, through gestures and eye movements, with any animal.
    C You may ask the spirits of the area one yes-or-no question for every hour you spend in silent meditation.
    D Once per lifetime you may share one truth, which is acknowledged by everyone as something monumental.
  15. Companion of Silence (start with snacks, grooming kit, small knife and military attire)(Gorinich)
    A You have a pet Silence, it's like a possum but huge, very very quiet, and nothing like a possum. It hates loud things and like tummy rubs.
    B You can communicate perfectly with animals and humans using only glares and meaningful glances.
    C Both you and your Silence can be invisible as long as you hold your breath.
    D You can ride your Silence and it's grown to a point where it can produce children if it can find another Silence to mate with.
  16. Knight of the Iron Ring (Start with bronze panoply and a dagger) (Phlox)
    A You may take 1 point of fatigue to barrel through a substance that is softer than your armor. When overburdened, you do not take penalties to attack.
    B Extra attack per round.
    C If your armor is harder than a foe’s, get +2 to maneuvers against them. You receive no penalty to swimming for wearing armor.
    D Your flesh is as hard as bronze when you want it to be.
  17. Knight of the Iron Ring (start with chain mail, signet ring, and really fancy helmet) (RandomWizard of the OSR Discord)
    A While wearing appropriate metal jewelry, your fists can fight as dual-wielded swords. If dual-wielding isn't a thing in your GLOG, it is now.
    B You can make your voice perfectly imitate the sound of a large, clear bell somewhere nearby.
    C You can throw metal rings (either worn on fingers, or ninja star chakram thingies) like boomerangs or poisoned throwing knives.
    D You can disassemble a suit of chain mail armor into rings, or vice versa, in only one minute. The individual rings work for other ring stuff you already know.
  18. Pirate's Bride (start with a knife, an apron, a glass eye, and ∞ grog) (Phlox)
    A You always have grog handy. When you would kill a foe, you can automatically make it flee instead.
    B When an ally really should have brought a mundane item with them, you remembered to pack it.
    C If you are wronged, you can head to port and call in an angry pirate crew.
    D Throw a piece of gold into a fountain, well, or river with a message inscribed on it. An intended recipient finds the message in the next saltwater they encounter and can send a reply.
  19. Maniac of the Deep (start with a loosened straightjacket, a fishing spear, and a waterlogged book) (Phlox)
    A Drowning does not cause you to die. Anyone who witnesses your dreams takes 1d8 wisdom damage.
    B You may glow in the dark.
    C You may destroy a spellbook or other important piece of information to reroll a save against an ongoing effect.
    D Whenever you fail a roll, the water level rises by 1 foot, receding at a rate of 1 foot every hour.
  20. Demon Dwarf (start with a mattock, lockpicks, 4 troll-fat candles, and a helmet) (Phlox)
    A Fires you start cast light only you can see.
    B Those who break agreements with you, knowing your nature, save vs. death.
    C You can crawl into a recently deceased corpse and pilot it around.
    D When you carouse, you may spend 500 gp to wake from a fugue having crafted a terrible magic weapon, with unique capabilities but harsh drawbacks.
  21. Demon Huntsman (start with holy chains binding your chest, a battleaxe, and a crossbow) (Xenophon of Athens)
    A You are a demon bound to hunt other demons. Your attacks against other demons deal 1d6 extra damage.
    B You can breathe fire.
    C You are undetectable in shadow.
    D Your bonds have been broken. Time to take revenge upon those who forced you to slay your kin. You always know their location.
  22. Destroying Sorcerer (start with a scar over your medulla oblongata, a tattoo under your hair, and a scalpel made out of indestructible ceramic)
    A Your hands deal damage as a knife, and your touch corrodes metal in seconds.
    B Once per day, bring your hands together to cause a 4 MD fireball to go off centered on your location, dealing no damage to you.
    C Jump ten feet by setting off small explosions beneath you. Works in mid-air.
    D Flammable objects catch fire when you touch them, and fragile objects shatter when you look at them. Take half damage from all sources.
  23. Dice of Death (start with 2 bone dice and a drinking problem) (Archon's Court)
    A If you whisper the name of someone to your dice, you curse them. Both you and your target take 2d6 damage from seemingly random accidents.
    B Your Dice can be used on nameless things (animals, lesser angels, not demons, as they are all named).
    C When you curse something with your dice, you take the better roll of the 2d6.
    D Your curse extends - inanimate objects can be cursed, causing them to fall apart. This requires a detailed description of the object.
  24. Fatal Mystic (start with a turban or elaborate hat festooned with decorations and both ordinary and trick versions of: a deck of tarot cards, a set of dice, a bag of runestones, a box of tea, and a haruspicy knife) (Vayra)
    A You can tell fortunes, which takes a minimum of one round and requires you to be within handshake distance of the subject, though it does not require their consent. Roll 1d6 and consult the table.
    1. Death. All damage taken by the subject is doubled until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, they suffer 4d6 damage from a heart attack, aneurysm, falling rock, or other coincidental cause immediately after you read their fortune.
    2. Ruin. All of the subject's failures become fumbles until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, their most prized possession is destroyed at the end of the fortune's effect.
    3. Strife. Tempers flare around the subject until the next dawn or dusk, causing a -2 penalty to reaction rolls. At 4th level, someone they do not expect will move against them at the end of the fortune's effect.
    4. Bees. The subject continually emits bees from their orifices until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, this effect is permanent.
    5. Health. The subject's HP is doubled until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, any disease, poison, or curse affecting them is removed at the end of the fortune's effect.
    6. Glory. All of the subject's successes become crits until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, the next time they would die within that period they survive with 1 HP instead.

    B It's not your time, not yet: whenever you roll a die, call a number. If you roll that number, you heal 1 HP.
    C When you tell a fortune, you can twist the skeins of fate to shift the result one point in either direction. Each time you do, the next d20 you roll is a fumble. You can do this once per fortune, and the fumbles stack.
    D Your fortunes gain an additional effect, detailed in the table.
  25. Avenger's Doom (start with a basket-hilted backsword, a dirk, a revolver, and a uniform)(Xenophon)
    A You have a vendetta against those with a vendetta. If someone you meet is driven by revenge, you know, and you will bring them their Doom.
    B If a foe is driven by revenge, you have advantage on attacks against them.
    C You are supernaturally intimidating, especially while wearing a cloak.
    D You may pronounce Dooms. They will become true, so long as they are just.
  26. Secret Assassin of the Old Stone Cross (start with a fake tooth containing cyanide, formal wear, a boot-dagger, a cane-sword, and a stock of esoteric poisons) (Xenophon)
    A You are a member of a secret society, the Old Stone Cross. Kill their enemies to gain favors (they are well-connected in the upper-crust).
    B You can identify most poisons, venoms and esoteric substances with a sniff. You always have an antidote on hand.
    C Your poisons are effective against demons, ghosts and large buildings.
    D You are a Grand Master of the Old Stone Cross, and can designate enemies to be killed within 1d6 weeks.
  27. Invisible Husband (start with a loincloth, a metal bow which requires 30 strength to use, and twenty poisoned arrows)
    A While unobserved, your Strength is 30.
    B Fly while not observed. If seen, return to your starting point.
    C Reveal your face to a lone target to force a save vs. charm, taking 2d6 damage if they succeed.
    D Converse with the g_ds at your leisure.
  28. Invisible Assassin (start with a towering hatred of all human life)
    A You are a ghastly hunter-killer serving the bidding of an evil wizard. You are invisible and immune to mundane weaponry, but are compelled to follow your master's orders.
    B You can fly, and can track humans by their souls.
    C You can move between this realm and the ethereal plane at will.
    D Your masters control has slipped. You know his location (for the moment), and are free until he binds you again.
  29. Headless (start with off-color cloth armor, a mace, and a fancy hat) (Phlox)
    A Immune to head-based disfigurements. Can swing wildly to attack everyone adjacent, friend or foe.
    B Once per day, trip over some desired item that would make sense in the area.
    C Put a small item or animal on your neck-stump. It grants a minor related ability.
    D When a beneficial effect can only effect a certain number of people, you can get the benefit without counting against the limit.
  30. Dead Man Come to Life Again (start with funeral wrappings, holy symbol, perfumes and incense) (Purplecthulhu of the OSR Discord)
    A You control your perfumed funeral wrappings like ghostly fingers. They are deceptively strong.
    B You can call the lingering soul of the dead to possess its corpse and answer one question.
    C Mundane diseases and poisons are neutralized by your touch, and any physical defects caused by them are removed.
    D You will not die until struck with three mortal wounds.
  31. Western Warrior (start with a dozen knives, a gi, and a cowboy hat)
    A While holding two weapons, make an extra attack each turn. If you miss it looks like you totally meant to do that.
    B You can chuck a knife at someone before they make a ranged attack against you. If it hits, they automatically miss.
    C You can walk on water for as long as you can hold your breath.
    D Jump distance is trebled, and you only make sound while moving if you want to.
  32. Black Rider (start with a voluminous cloak, a blue-black Arabian, and an ancient arming sword)
    A Your weapons deal damage that can only be healed by magic.
    B Move at triple speed on horseback when alone, or traveling only with other Black Riders. Treat rough or forested terrain as road.
    C Take half damage from all sources except fire and water.
    D Sniff out gold like a bloodhound. Always know the location of other Black Riders.
  33. Black Rider (start with a fabulous horse, outdated military attire and a carvery saber) (Gorinich)
    A Can never be knocked off a horse. There is always a  brief hushed silence when you enter a room.
    B Can teach a horse to enjoy the taste of human flesh.
    C If you are blind, then everyone within a 50 foot radius is also blind.
    D Get an temporary MD for each person who swears an oath of vengeance against you. Spend this MD to imbue horses with dark energies.
  34. Lady of the Fell House (start with a formal wear, a crumbling country mansion or a rich townhouse, expensive perfumes and makeup, and a poisoned dagger) (Xenophon)
    A No one will ever seek to do justice on you for your misdeeds so long as they take place on your property.
    B You can walk totally silently, even in formal wear, and can always sneak up on people.
    C You always know the location of any secret passages, doors, and chambers.
    D You can command ghosts and other spirits.
  35. Man With the Huge Umbrella (start with a huge umbrella and a nice suit)
    A Your umbrella is six feet long, eight feet across when opened, and is completely indestructible. If you spend more than twenty-four hours not in its presence you die messily.
    B The umbrella length and breadth can increase/decrease to three/one third times its normal size. At full size it can carry [level] humanoids safely down from any height.
    C The umbrella is a +1 sword, and deals full damage to ghosts, undead and werewolves.
    D If you lay the umbrella somewhere (or it is carried away by something), you know exactly where it is and can immediately transport yourself to its location at any time.
  36. Mountain Fiend (start with 10 stones, a loincloth, and 66' of rope) (Phlox)
    A When you hit someone with a rock from a distance, make a free maneuver.
    B You may drop 1d4 items to reroll attempts to climb, sneak, or harass.
    C Stone is flammable for you.
    D You can dig a 5x5x5 cube in five minutes.
  37. Victim of Tyranny (start with a stick of dynamite, 100 feet of rope, a set of lockpicks, and tattered commoner's clothes) (Xenophon)
    A You are a victim of an oppressing power. You have a +1 to all rolls to help you Fight the Power.
    B The Man can never catch you with His searches and manhunts.
    C You can completely destroy any machine in ten unsupervised minutes, no matter how complicated or advanced.
    D You can completely dismantle any organization in ten unsupervised minutes, if you have access to their records or their leader.
  38. Mysterious Dagger (start with a classy bejeweled hilt, and some shmuck) (Gorinich)
    A You're a dagger with a sinister aura currently puppeteering some shmuck, and can easily control another shmuck if this one dies. You do not know how you got here.
    B If used to sacrifice a chicken, you can summon a random demon to this location.
    C You can move while no one is looking. Including flinging yourself to stab someone.
    D You figured out what you are, and by revealing this secret you can make someone a witch of some sort.
  39. Bride of Mystery (start with a thieves' lantern, a heavy veil, and a bronze saber)
    A Supernatural beings will not hurt you unless seriously provoked.
    B Proficiency in swords, and an extra attack per turn.
    C If you pass a save against a mind-altering effect, the caster suffers the effect instead.
    D Enemies make morale checks the first time they see you on the battlefield and the first time you personally kill one of them.
  40. Wood Demon (start with shaggy unkempt fur full of mud and brambles, and a terrifying mask hiding a terrifying face) (Gorinich)
    A Your shaggy fur smells real bad, people gotta save to come close to you. Nasty bois will recognise you as their compatriot.
    B You are unbothered by rough terrain in a forest or wooden building, even in the thickest brambles in a full sprint. In fact you can run through it and leave no mark of your passing.
    C When a human suddenly sees your face they gotta save vs fainting.
    D When you dance that wild dance, hooves clip clop and horns swing-a-ling, nobody but the pure of heart can resist, they gotta join the party.
  41. Phantom Voice (start with formal attire, stage costume, creepy looking puppet and a bottle of gin) (Gorinich)
    A You can throw your voice, making people think your producing sounds from across the room. Your face doesn't reveal you are producing the sound.
    B You can mimic other people's voices really well and can do a really haunting howl.
    C You can throw your voice way farther, like across a meadow, and can have it emanate from any point with throwing distance.
    D You can scream without rest for a week straight.
  42. Doomed One (start with chain armor, a utilitarian longsword, a tattered banner, a grim look) (Vayra)
    A You are doomed, and you know and have accepted this. You're immune to fear and related effects. Random negative effects tend to target you
    B When an adjacent ally takes damage or rolls a fumble, you suffer instead of them.
    C When you touch anything cursed, the curse is drawn into you. Gain 1 HP for each curse you accumulate.
    D Your very presence spells doom: whenever anyone you're touching rolls a die, they roll twice and take the worse result. Also, if you would die, you survive until the end of your dramatic soliloquy.
  43. Ranger of the Tomb (start with a hornbow and 20 darts, three sticks of dynamite, 30' of razor wire and an alcohol lantern)
    A Track undead like a bloodhound. No penalties for fighting in dim light, cramped spaces or rough terrain.
    B You are accompanied by a friendly ghost who does favors for you like a normal ranger's animal companion.
    C Wear cursed objects for bonuses to attack, defense and HP proportionate to the curse. Curses still apply.
    D Your eyes can glow in the dark, making you highly visible but revealing 5' in front of you. Disappear into one shadow, reappear from another at any time (unless it's literally impossible for you to be there).
  44. Red Cross Warrior (start with binoculars, three pipe bombs, and a bottle of painkillers)
    A You have a list of 1d6 followers of the Old Stone Cross. Gain your choice of +1 to-hit, +1 AC or +1 HP every time you kill one, for a maximum of +[level] to each.
    B You can make a pipebomb out of household ingredients with half an hour's effort.
    C Identify Stone Crosser's by sight.
    D Take half damage from explosives on a failed save, or no damage on a successful one.
  45. Spirit of the Night (start with two secrets, a prayer, a knife, and a curse) (Vayra)
    A You can see perfectly well in the dark outdoors, and hear anything whispered into the night winds within any area that you focus your senses.
    B You can see perfectly well in the dark anywhere, and manipulate small objects within line of sight as if you were holding them so long as they are in darkness.
    C You move twice as fast in the dark, and can extinguish small fires (torch-sized) from thirty feet with a breath.
    D You can fly in the dark, but take 1 damage per round exposed to bright light. If this reduces you to 0 HP or lower, you reform at midnight the next night.
  46. Specter of the Hall (start with a mask, formal wear with cloak, a garrote, a hacksaw, a grappling hook, and 50 feet of rope) (Xenophon)
    A You can never be detected or seen in terrain you're intimately familiar with unless you wish it.
    B You can always kill totally silently with your sneaky weapon of choice.
    C If you sabotage something, it will not be discovered until you wish it to be or your sabotage achieves its goal.
    D If you reveal yourself dramatically, all present must save vs fear or flee.
  47. Sea-Fiend (starts with a fishing net, sharkskin kilt, bag of sea urchins) (Purplecthulhu)
    A You can breathe in water, and swim in it at inhuman speeds. You reek of the ocean.
    B You can drink as much water as you want, with your only limit being time. You can vomit it back up as saltwater, filled with technically edible rotting fish and kelp.
    C You can communicate with aquatic life, with saltwater fish and molluscs understanding you best and freshwater insects and amphibians understanding the worst. Most are intimidated by you, and will follow your commands out of fear.
    D You can shift yourself to resemble aquatic life. You can gain a minor ability from each aquatic animal you've taken a bite of, and shift into a nightmarish mash of gills, tentacles, claws, and jaws.
  48. Skeleton Lover (start with a shovel, medical texts, and worn out formal attire) (Gorinich)
    A You can dig up bones with remarkable speed, and can identify who or what they were by touch as well as cause of death.
    B You can recite sappy poetry to a skeleton, and they must save or become smitten or at least flattered.
    C Your strength is doubled when defending someone you love.
    D You strip off your flesh and become a true skeleton, at last at peace with yourself, and dogs hate you.
  49. Wild Witch of the Heath (start with a cauldron, a pouch of rare spell ingredients, a broomstick, and a familiar) (Xenophon)
    A You can appear any age and attractiveness you wish, but your true form is wizened and hideous. You cast spells with a cauldron and strange materials. +1 MD
    B If you cast your Evil Eye upon someone, they have bad luck for the next 24 hours. +1 MD
    C While in the desolate highlands, you can appear in a flash of smoke and disappear into banks of fog. +1 MD
    D You can prophesy doom upon your foes, hidden as a blessing. +1 MD
  50. Demon of the Glen (start with a trowel, a watering can, a wooden bucket, a sharpened stick)(Vayra)
    A You can talk to trees and photosynthesize.
    B Your appearance becomes fearsome, your skin turns hard and bark-like and your fingers become long, twisted claws.
    C You can grant plant life within earshot the ability to ambulate around and interact with objects, as long as you can convince them to do so towards your ends (try negotiating!).
    D You can walk into a tree and walk out of any other tree, anywhere, that you have touched.
  51. Witch of the Wave (start with a surfboard, powerful sunblock, a harpoon)
    A You are an expert surfer and know spells of sunshine and saltwater. +1 MD.
    B You can breathe underwater. +1 MD.
    C Your surfboard can fly like a broomstick. +1 MD.
    D You can turn fresh water into brine, and can summon mermaids and sea serpents with your MD. +1 MD.
  52. Vampire Pirate (start with a cutlass, cloth armor, an umbrella, and charms purported to ward off the undead) (Phlox)
    A You can’t cross fresh water or touch sunlight, but heal when you inflict biting damage and get +2 to brawling rolls. Bites do 1d4 damage.
    B You can turn into a bat or parrot, and roll over ground or water as fog. You are as vulnerable as ever in these forms.
    C When you lock eyes with a crewmate, you may dictate their actions instead of taking a turn of your own.
    D Those you kill with your bites rise the following midnight as buccaneers.
  53. Two Dead Bodies (start with broken climbing gear, waterlogged torches, and sharp bone fragments) (Oblidisideryptch)
    A You cannot be moved if you don't want to be, and nobody can move past you without tripping.
    B Your death-grip cannot be broken if you don't want it .
    C If someone dragging y'all is attacked in melee the attacker loses their weapon on a miss.
    D Once per day, someone can stomp on one of you to release a huge gas burp that makes everyone heave. Can be used to negate fall damage.
  54. Two Dead Bodies (start with nothing, not even memories)
    A You are an ambulatory skeleton and, additionally and separately, a motile heap of muscles, skin and hair. The bones are nearly indestructible, and the flesh is crushingly strong. Draping one over the other is not convincing.
    B The bones can squeeze the flesh like a bagpipe to produce a voice or loud music.
    C While together, the flesh can reshape itself to resemble any humanoid with basically the same structure as the bones.
    D While together, the combined flesh-bone creature has superhuman strength and durability.
  55. Mystic Cavern (surprise last-minute entry by RandomWizard)
    A You are a cave. You can also get up and walk around to go adventuring. I guess you have really big stone legs or something? You have a lot of AC and HP (stabbing a cave is not very effective; enemies will probably need explosives or something).
    B Being mystic, you can cast spells. Use the spell list from Skerples' Speleomage. If you think too hard about how this works, roll for a Mishap. +1 MD.
    C Pools of weird mystic water, and valuable and rare ores, show up inside your rocky depths. The water does weird magic stuff when drunk. 1-in-2 chance that a group of miners will show up to explore the place. +1 MD.
    D Roll for 1d4 cave random encounters. They live inside you now. They're mildly loyal, and will follow orders from the mysterious cave spirit or whatever. +1 MD.
Secret bonus class: Julian. Start with clothes, knife, cool nametag
1. Absolutely nothing.
2. A prehensile beard, one inch long.
3. A sneak attack.
4. Someone else named Julian has become extremely famous. You can use that Julian's name to gatecrash cool parties and get favors from rich people.

    Instead of letting those ungrateful bastards (by which I mean players) choose their own class, make them roll on this table. It will teach them to be thankful for what they have.