I Shouldn't Be Alive (October 1st: Guns)

This is a post for GLOGtober. GLOGtober 1st is guns.

Source: Revolver Ocelot by CBedford

    One problem people (such as myself) sometimes have with guns in D&Dalikes is the lethality. I can envision what a missed attack roll looks like with a sword (a whiff), I know what a hit with a low damage roll means (caught on a bit of armor, poor timing wasted most of the momentum, barely nicked with the tip), I know what a hit with a high damage roll means (a nasty slice, a solid thwack to the shield-arm). To a degree I can even accept a high HP total that lets a PC take several high-damage hits (it's luck! it's grit! it's all sorts of things besides meat!)

    But what does that look like with firearms? How much damage does a gun do? It seems a bit stupid to have a high-powered rifle do basically the same thing as a big knife.

    Well, real life is pretty stupid as well. Here are a number of unusual effects of being shot.

1. Nothing seems to happen. Later, you will discover a gigantic bullet hole in your hat. 
2. The shot passes harmlessly through your baggy dress pants.
3. You open your mouth to shout in alarm and the bullet whistles through it, neatly removing your canine teeth. 
4. The wadding catches you square in the forehead, knocking you onto your rear, as the bullet whistles by twenty feet above you.
5. The bullet grazes your shin, which hurts like Hell and bleeds like a fountain. You need to take five minutes tying yourself off.
   
6. Your weapon catches the bullet and shatters in a cloud of painful but harmless shrapnel.
   
7. Your hat is taken, and an ear with it. You are otherwise unharmed.
   
8. It goes right through the meat of your upper arm, disabling it for 1d6 days (exploding).
   
9. As you hold some piece of gear up to examine it, the bullet drives it into your face. Your eyes are so blackened they swell shut, blinding you for the rest of the day.
10. A shard of a bullet that broke upon firing catches you in the stomach, and you bleed profusely. Gain the effects of blood loss for 1d6 days (exploding).
    
11. While dodging a shot you fall and twist your knee badly, reducing you to half speed for 1d6 days (exploding).
12. Shrapnel catches you square in the chest and stomach, throwing you to the ground and reducing you to 0 HP.
    
13. The bullet lightly grazes your temple, and you fall unconscious for 1d6 days (exploding). 
14. One hand blown clean off by an unlucky shot.
15. Shot through the thigh, save vs. Death or bleed out within a minute.
16. One leg ruined by an unlucky shot. Reduced to 0 HP.
17. Both of your arms blown off. Reduced to 0 HP. Time to learn how to fight with your teeth
    
18. The bullet catches you in the breastbone and you fall dead instantly.
19. The bullets shred you like paper and you fly backwards, your gear unrecoverable
20. You liquefy, vaporize, and disperse like a fog cloud. Nearby NPCs make morale checks.