Numbers Aren't Real

Monday, July 13, 2020

99 Problems (More GLOG micro-classes)

These classes are so much fun that I literally couldn't stop people from making them. "Stop", I said. "No", they replied.

Not relevant, but it's a good image.

Romantic Diabolist (start with formal clothing, collection of love letters, bouquet, very sharp letter opener) (Purplecthulhu)
A You and a demon are madly in love. Their favor grants you enhanced luck and resistance to fire.
B You can recite love poems in the language of demons, causing everything within 20 feet of you to save or temporarily go deaf.
C Your lover has certain connections in Hell. You can call upon the aid of minor demons.
D You can access your lover's apartment through any doorway by speaking their name. It's safe for you and your allies, as long as you can stand the heat.
Soulless One (start with no soul) (Lexi)
A You are immune to mind-affecting magic and appeals to emotion. If you make no noise and touch no one, no one will notice you, even if they can see you.
B You are not weighed down by a soul, and so are lighter than air. Wear heavy clothes to not blow away in the breeze.
C Undead recognize you as one of their own and you can talk to them. They won't attack you unless you attack first.
D You can slurp out another humanoid's soul with a touch and steal their identity. Copy all their abilities. No one will believe they are them. Their soul returns when they touch you back or when the sun rises. Your Soulless One powers don't work while you have a soul.
Midnight Adventurer (start with sword, leather armor, oxygen tank, star charts) (Purplecthulhu)
A You are a sailor of the midnight seas. You own a small rowboat made of meteorite iron that can fly at night, big enough to hold four people.
B You can breathe at high altitudes with no ill effects, and can never get lost as long as you can see the stars.
C You have improved your star rowboat to a star sailboat. It can fit eight people, and has a pair of cannons that shoot burning starlight.
D You can breathe in a total vacuum now. You can navigate stellar space to other planets in a matter of days, and you can't get lost in outer space.
Midnight Adventurer (start with a nightgown, a mug of herbal tea, and a letter opener) (Walfalcon)
A You have an additional 75% chance of miraculously avoiding physical traps and attacks. You can only deal at most 1d4 damage on attacks.
B You have an additional 75% chance of miraculously not being affected by malicious magic effects.
C Your letter opener can turn into a +3 magic sword that ignores your damage restriction. If you lose it (or lost it before gaining this ability) you always manage to stumble across it again by at longest the end of the next day.
D Your letter opener can kill gods, allowing you to replace them.
Flawed Diamond (starts with beautiful jewelry, fine formal wear, and a Secret) (Xenophon of Athens)
A You're a scintillating jewel of social skills, a gem of high society. You also have a terrible Secret you will do anything to protect.
B You can insert yourself with elegance into any social circle. You can poison anyone with ease, if it is to protect your Secret.
C No one will ever think you're lying unless you wish them to.
D You can seduce anyone, in any sense of the word.
Nanny Sorcerer (start with a sturdy wooden ruler, a big book o' rules, matronly clothing) (Vayra)
A You're a sorcerer and can cast spells of care and warding. Roll one additional spell at each level — you can't cast these extra spells, but you can teach them. +1 MD.
B You attract <template> young wild talents, untrained first-level sorcerers. Any losses, deaths, graduations to well-trained sorcerer, &c are replenished whenever you spend a week in a populated settlement. +1 MD.
C Children, small animals, and figures of authority naturally trust you. You can get away with most things by blaming them on your charges and promising to enact a suitable punishment. +1 MD.
D You attract an Au Pair, a well-trained second-level sorcerer with experience in childcare. If you can acquire a suitable location, you can start a magic school/daycare and attract a staff and numerous students. +1 MD.
Angled Archer (start with a bow, a quiver of arrows, a protractor, and a sextant) (Lexi)
A You can shoot mundane arrows and bounce them off (templates) surfaces with perfect accuracy.
B You can bounce trick arrows as well. Crafting a trick arrow takes an hour. Some sample tricks you can produce are knockout arrows, smoke bomb arrows, potion-tipped arrows, noisy arrows, arrows that split in two mid-flight, etc.
C With enough setup time and access to your geometry tools, you can fire arrows accurately up to a mile.
D You can shoot and bounce almost anything from your bow, even if it's ludicrously non-aerodynamic.
Trial Governor (start with a powdered wig, red gown, an iron gavel) (SunderedDM)
A Once per day, you decide the result of a dice roll.
B Your mind cannot be swayed by magic, nor can your eyes be deceived by illusion.
C Accuse a creature you can see who has wronged you. You deal an extra (templates) damage to them. You can only have one Accused at a time.
D Once per day, you can issue an order. Everyone who can hear you must follow it for the next minute.
Salamander (start with a bident, bag of coal, and charred bones) (Purplecthulhu)
A You can spit globs of mucus that heat to burning hot temperatures within several seconds.
B You can control the movement, color, and heat of fires.
C Your skin becomes cracked igneous rock, increasing your defense to plate.
D You can turn any fire into a fire elemental resembling a lizard. The larger the fire, the stronger the elemental.
Salamander (start with miner's clothing, a pickaxe, and three sticks of dynamite)
A With an hour of careful study, you can destroy a ten foot cube of stone with one stick of dynamite and a whack with a pickaxe. Works on castles, and expands to a 100 foot cube for wooden buildings.
B When you destroy something with dynamite, you may designate things to be unharmed by the blast.
C You can sniff out precious metal like a bloodhound. You sweat black powder and can glow in the dark.
D In total darkness, you can walk on walls and ceilings. You can navigate by echolocation and never get lost underground.
Spirit of the River (start with a a vial of river water and the word of the sea on your lips) (SunderedWorldDM)
A You can swim as fast and as well as you can walk.
B You can teleport yourself and your allies up and down waterways freely.
C You can speak to anything in the water. Objects, plants, land creatures taking a bath, whatever.
D You can poison the river. Choose a liquid substance. The body of water is now that. The bigger the body changed, the longer it is before you can use this again.
Gentleman Adventurer (start with well-tailored traveling clothes, everything you need to write a letter or contract, 200' of rope, a 10-foot pole, a lantern and three flasks of oil, an old treasure map) (Vayra)
A Your wealth and penchant for funding expeditions are well-known — given a week, you can scare up a party of first-level adventurers in any populated settlement. Your companions get +1 to d20 rolls while you're encouraging or advising them.
B Your famed success as an adventurer and patron of adventurers has led to an increase in your status, and minor nobility now treat you as one of their own. You get +1 on reaction rolls due to your noble bearing.
C Everyone gets +1 to d20 rolls while following a plan that you created or helped create. Those actually in your presence get +<templates> instead as long as everything is going according to plan.
D You know and are on good terms with one adventurer from every class on this list; roll 1d4 for their level when it becomes relevant. Name an heir - when you die or retire, they start to take Gentleman Adventurer templates in addition to and in excess of the normal template limit.
Benefactor of Mankind (start with a very vague idea of how real life works)
A Your glowing, ethereal body cannot be damaged by mundane weapons. You cannot make any attacks.
B You can heal with a touch. Save or there is some unfortunate side effect of the repair process (a hand might lose a point of dexterity, a brain might develop madness, a heart could become weak and fearful).
C You can fly, and anyone holding your hand can also fly. You are immune to the effects of acceleration, cold, and thin atmosphere.
D You may transmute iron into living wood, and treacherous gold into friendly and universally-loved mashed potatoes. When you encounter these substances, save or you do this automatically.
Benefactor of Mankind (start with a ciphered notebook filled with ethically questionable research notes, a set of long syringes, and midwife tools) (RTX)
A You gain the ability to concoct mutagens that improve physical statistics. After about a week, affected statistics will degrade to below where they started.
B Your mutagens can now make someone slowly develop a fully functional teratoma, taking a week for sensory organs, two weeks for metabolic organs, a month for new limbs, and three months for vital organs. You must eat double-rations while developing a teratoma, and a 25% more for every fully-developed teratoma. A normal stomach cannot digest more than quadruple-rations.
C Mutagens may be applied to unborn children, including your own if you have a uterus. They are born with fully-developed teratomas, and can be additionally mutated to physically mature up to four times as fast. These children are your greatest creations, and you must give them all your love, or they may start to resent you. It is not hard to rallying the peasants against you — you are hardly likeable.
D your mutagens can now transform people, and even other animals, to a drastic extent, including changing their body plans! There are no more secret flesh holds from you, and you can sculpt it just as your love of life and need to see it prosper desire!
Secret Beggar (start with a sign, a beggars-bowl, and a book of secrets) (Lexi)
A You learn all secrets spoken of in your presence, even if you don't speak the language or they would be too quiet to hear.
B You can trade secrets in lieu of money.
C You can summon a manifestation of a secret. It's a roughly-humanoid spirit with the stats of a ghost. Will sow as much discord as it can. This works once per secret, because it won't be a secret anymore after it's done.
D You learn a secret per day, whispered to you by the winds or the birds or jilted lovers who know what you can do and wish vengeance.
Secret Beggar (start with a ragged cloth to hide your nakedness, prayerbeads for a belt, a wooden begging bowl, and a vow to carry nothing else)
A Your religious order survives on donations of secrets rather than money. NPCs know this, and generous ones will "pay" well.
B NPCs with especially dark secrets must save or spill to you.
C You can permanently destroy any secret that you know. Creatures with more HD than you have [levels] are immune to this, but everything else forgets.
D If the truth of a matter is known only to you, you may alter it. After doing so, save or die.
Vault Tyrant (start with ragged clothes, 3 black powder bombs, a hunting knife, and ownership of a vault) (Purplecthulhu)
A You own a large vault filled with food, gear, and treasure. You can only take up to 10 gp worth of things from it per day, due to your miserly nature.
B You have trapped your vault, and are an expert with setting traps in other places.
C You can see treasure, food, and gear perfectly even in complete darkness.
D You become familiar with the locks that fill your vault. You are an expert at lockpicking and breaking into sealed areas.
False Heiress (start with forged signet ring, fake designer gown, chip on your shoulder, flask of cheap liquor) (Lexi)
A You're the heiress to a mighty fortune, a long-lost niece or eldest daughter returned from adventures abroad. Your claim is shaky, but will hold up long enough for you to garner respect and loans from anyone not intimately familiar with noble politics.
B You've convinced enough people of your claim that you've made an independent power-base. You have some followers who'll run interference for you, back up your more outlandish claims, and do you illegal favors - but they all expect your claim to hold true, you to inherit, and to be handsomely rewarded.
C You've lied and cheated and stolen for so long that you can bribe officials and other nobles to look the other way with pretty much any charge. Just like a real noble!
D You have the clout to confront your false relatives and force them to accept you as one of them. You're a real heiress now, and while your claim will be honored, you're now embroiled in the real noble politics of jealous heirs and backstabbing siblings. The game has just begun.
Shore Shark (start with fins, teeth, and an old Jaws movie poster) (RandomWizard)
A Being a shark, you can swim and breathe underwater. Being a shore shark, you can also breathe air and walk on sand (specifically) with your fins. And you can talk. Somehow.
B The sight of a big scary shark fin can be used to force people to make morale checks or something.
C You can now walk on all land, and with a disguise and hooded cloak, you can probably pass for a big gray-skinned human.
D In shallow shoreline waters, you can dismantle a ship or kill a person with a single bite.
Ten Thousandth Year (start with something in between martial artist's wrappings and a burial shroud) (Vayra)
A Your fists, feet, elbows, knees, and forehead are light weapons. You won't suffer ability loss or die from old age.
B If you would die of starvation, thirst, suffocation, or exposure (works on freezing to death, doesn't work on being thrown into lava), you enter suspended animation instead.
C For each week you meditate on how best to kill someone, you gain +1 to-hit and damage against them until you meditate on killing someone else.
D Enemies must pass a morale check to attack you before you have attacked them.
The Thirteenth (start with three days of food, a small hatchet, and a sack of millet)
A As the thirteenth child of a seventh son, you were given to the Devil as interest on the loan. Everything you say is assumed to be true by default.
B You can light small fires with a glare. Take half damage from fire.
C You can buy souls and keep them in your bag. When you take lethal damage, you can send a soul to Hell instead of dying.
D The Devil teaches you three diabolical spells. +1 MD.
Devoted Hero (start with a battered sword, immense self-confidence, unshakeable faith, humble origins) (Vayra)
A Choose an oath, a short phrase that encapsulates the core of your belief. Examples: BREAK ALL CHAINS, INFEST WITH SPIDERS, FEAST ON TORN FLESH, BEAUTY ABOVE ALL, FROLIC IN THE RUINS. As long as you are fulfilling your oath you are immune to fear, never fumble, and get +1 to all d20 rolls.
B You can tell at a glance if someone agrees or disagrees with your oath, and can make an extra attack per round when attacking those that disagree with it. No neutrality is possible.
C When you scream your oath, any number of targets within earshot must save or be stunned for one round. This only works on each target once.
D You take half damage while fulfilling your oath, and if you die in service of it you will rise as a revenant for 1d6 days to exact your revenge.
Book Fairy (start with a Book Bag and a book, A Study of the Effect of Islands on Dwarfism) (Xenophon)
A You have a miniature Book Bag that shrinks any book into it down to your fairy size and can hold 5 books. You can fly and are tiny.
B You can expend a book to cause a supernatural effect related to the subject of the book.
C Your book bag can hold 10 books, and you can expend two books at once to create a more complicated effect.
D Whenever you run out of books, there's always one nearby.
Young Chevalier (starts with a smallsword, a uniform, a destitute but once-great family, and Chivalrous Ideals) (Xenophon)
A When acting on your Chivalrous Ideals, you have advantage on saves.
B Your impeccable dueling skills give you +2 to-hit and +2 AC vs enemies with swords.
C You have a chaste and chivalrous love with a rich young socialite, and their favor can aid you greatly.
D You cannot die while protecting the innocent. If you would, your death is postponed until they are safe.
Heartwreck (start with an ex who broke your heart and a pile of bad looseleaf poetry) (Lexi)
A They left you and you will never love again. Your heartwrenching sobs will cause anyone to pity you and spare you a moment of conversation.
B They left you and you cannot see any reason to go on. You can induce strong emotion in any who hear or read your poetry (but all your poetry is tragic).
C They left you and you've lost what little you had in this world. Everyone who knows the tragic tale of you and your ex has a soft spot for you and will care for you.
D They left you and perhaps there is light somewhere, somewhen, but not here or now. When you find a new lover, you can immediately change all templates in Heartwreck into a class of your choice related to your new lover's profession and interests, but you return to Heartwreck A once your new doomed romance ends.
Light House (start with furniture, decorations, appliances, some leftovers in the fridge) (Purplecthulhu
A You are a three bedroom two bathroom house. Despite your size, you, and everything inside, weighs about as much as a shoe. Anything taken out of you reverts to its original weight. You can speak through radios or the tv.
B You can open, close, lock, and unlock your doors and windows at will. You can also control lights and electrical appliances, even with no power source.
C You have an alarm system installed within you. You also grow tiny, stubby little legs to walk around on.
D You now have a safe filled with HIGHLY ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY (modern day guns) inside you.
Light House (start with a bedroll and a green flame lantern) (SunderedWorldDM)
A You give comfort. Nothing can bother you or your allies as you rest.
B You are a beacon. On your turn, you can instead give your turn to an ally you can see.
C You blaze a path through the storm. Your party cannot get lost in the wilderness.
D You become vaster than yourself. Choose three allies. Sacrifice yourself to make them safe, forever.
Enigma Woman (RandomWizard)
A Every morning, generate a new set of templates up to your level (keep this template). Benefits usually don't carry over when you lose the template, but XP does.
Witch of the Cliffs (start with a cauldron of sea water, a conch shell, a ragged grey robe, and a witch's hat) (Lexi)
A You can vaguely divine the future through the sounds of the sea. The GM rolls the next <templates> random encounters, and you can choose which order to meet them. This ability resets after you confront them all, or if by the sea, after confronting one.
B You can never lose your balance or fall. You can conjure gusts of salty sea air at will, so long as your cauldron is full of sea water.
C You can summon small sea creatures like crabs or eels from your cauldron, so long as it is full of sea water.
D You can summon large sea creatures like sharks or sea turtles from your seawater cauldron, like sharks or sea turtles. so long as it is full of sea water.
Black Forest Wolf (Xenophon)
A You're a large wolf, with all that entails.
B When you growl at someone, they must Save vs Fear or flee in terror.
C Your ferocity is such that you have advantage on all damage rolls.
D You have a pack of 3d6 wolves, slightly smaller but no less fierce than yourself.
Black Forest Wolf (start with a flintlock pistol, a long saber, and a well-trained horse)
A Always deal maximum damage on a surprise round.
B NPCs usually accept your offer to duel. 5-in-6 chance of winning a normal duel.
C Attract 2d6 superstitious bandits, who will serve you in exchange for a share in the loot.
D Attract the attention of the King, who will pay you a huge sum of money to move to a different country and harass someone else. This ability resets every year or so.
Mystery Murderer (start with boring clothing, cleaning supplies, murder weapon of your choice) (Purplecthulhu)
A You are an expert at cleaning up the scene of crimes, and can remove all evidence pointing to you within an hour.
B You can follow people without appearing suspicious, and have an instinctive knowledge of when they're going to be alone.
C Copycat killers have sprung up in your wake. They draw attention away from you, and idolize you, following your commands.
D The body may be dead, but the spirit of the crimes lives on. If you die and have a copycat killer following you, you take control of them as they inherit your title.
Witch's Son (start with ill-fitting clothing and the resentment of your mother)
A Witches are supposed to have daughters. You are immune to magical damage and healing.
B You can see demons, ghosts and angels, and can interact with them. They don't like you very much.
C Dispel enchantments as a wizard of the same level by sacrificing 1d6 HP.
D Take a level in fighter. No point sticking around here any more.
Cursed Stepmother (start with an apron, a frying pan, and two blind daughters) (Phlox)
A Your stepchild is the villain of whatever story this is. Accordingly, you know a lot of personal information about them and get bonus XP for defeating them.
B Your rich husband, off making business deals, frequently sends you gifts. While in town, spend 5 gp to get a package, then later retroactively declare it to be a fine item you can kind of jury-rig into being useful.
C +4 to charisma checks if your target's mother would be ashamed of their actions.
D Restore sight to two of your daughters' eyes. Also, your husband dies, leaving you a sizeable inheritance and a potentially fruitful business on the brink of destruction.
Roper (start with frayed rope around your neck, ruined clothing, mild amnesia)
A Besides the broken neck, you are naturally lucky. Advantage on every save.
B If you are wearing a brace of pistols and have surprise, you get two shots as initiative is rolled.
C Your skills have returned. Treat all mundane doors as unlocked, and ignore penalties for fighting in darkness.
D The crime that got you hanged — the loot! You remember where you stashed the loot! Piles of cash and jewels and artifacts, if you could only get there first.
Weaver Vizier (start with filed teeth, a purple robe, an extra-large bucket of opium) (BaaL)
A Your social circle is a complex web of shallow relations. You are able to convincingly and officially act on behalf of anyone in your social circle, even without their knowledge or approval.
B You are never blamed for an action taken on behalf of another. You were merely following ”orders”.
C People within your social circle see you as the one person they can confide in or trust. In this bleak world, you are a beacon of virtue.
D Words you whisper to acquaintances are mistaken for their own thoughts and opinions.
Wehr-Wolf (start with an extremely flamboyant early modern military outfit, a pair of gauntlets, an arquebus with powder horn and 20 balls, a zweihander, a belt knife, an empty purse) (vayra)
A You are trained in basic military tactics and strategy of the pike-and-shot era, and can turn into a man-sized grey wolf. When working for an organization, you are considered a dreifachsöldner: paid twice for carrying a zweihander and standing in the front line of combat, and a third time for the wolf.
B Whenever you spend a week travelling with soldiers, sailors, or others of similar profession, roll <templates>d8. You gain that many gold pieces worth of miscellaneous coins, gems, jewelry, and IOUs. If a die comes up 8, someone was broke, couldn't pay you, and now owes you a serious favor.
C You get an extra attack per round.
C You can turn into a man-sized grey wolf with opposable thumbs, with all that that entails. When wielding a zweihander and wearing gauntlets, you can treat it as a greathammer, an estoc, or as normal, depending on which is most advantageous.
Vileroy (start with a two-handed sword, a suit of plate, and a squire carrying a banner - CLOSED HAND, GULES, ON SABLE FIELD)
A An explanation of your childhood convinces most justice-minded NPCs that the king must be overthrown. Your allies wear red ribbons.
B Extra attack per round.
C While they hear you screaming a battle-cry, your allies never roll morale or saves vs. fear.
D The time is right and all the pieces are lined up. At your command, a civil war will erupt.
Forest Child (start with leaves, bark, roots, branches, a trunk) (Vayra)
A You're a tree, with all that that entails. Your body gives shelter to woodland insects and perhaps a small bird. Anything non-sapient that makes its home in, on, or under you will carry out your will, without realizing that's what it is doing.
B You've become a small copse of trees. Your roots can buckle pavement, and your branches can shelter birds and small woodland creatures like squirrels and foxes.
C You've become a mid-sized grove, and acquired some underbrush. You can shelter larger woodland animals such as wolves and boars within yourself.
D You are a forest, vast and impenetrable. Your depths shelter great creatures like bears and tigers, and at least one druid (druids aren't sapient).
Victim of a Name (start with a name that is yours, and a name that is not yours) (Lexi)
A Everyone knows you by a name that is not yours. You can make immediate sneak attacks against anyone who calls you by that name.
B You can steal others' names if they call you by a name that is not yours. No one can refer to them until you choose to give them their name back. You can only have <templates> names stolen at once.
C You can give others names that are not theirs, which will stick. They may make that name their own and take on its qualities, or they can reject it and become a Victim of a Name.
D You know when anyone calls you a name that is not yours and can teleport to their side.
Woke Vicar (start with irreconcilable cognitive dissonance, a vicar's robe, a holy book, a second-wave feminist book, a Maoist-third worldist book, and a self-help book) (Vayra)
A You can pose unanswerable questions, which force the person being asked to roll Intelligence or be stunned for as many rounds as you spent asking the question.
B You instinctively know what to say to make people angry, and can goad anyone into a fight by rolling opposed Charisma.
C Given access to a grand ball, town crier, posting-tree, doors of a church, or other method of disseminating information to the masses, you can thoroughly ruin anyone's reputation.
D Choose a passage from one of your books. It becomes true within your line of sight.
Vampyr (start with a crossbow and 20 bolts, a wooden stake, and a holy symbol) (Walfalcon)
A You can detect the presence of any undead within 1 kilometer. You must drink holy water every week or be compelled to drink fresh humanoid blood.
B Take 1 fewer damage from mundane weapons, and deal 1 more damage to undead.
C You can hit incorporeal undead with your weapons as if they were corporeal.
D You can imbue your attacks with the power of the sun, dealing 1d6 unhealable damage to undead.
Vampyr (start with fancy clothing, a razor-edged poniard, and a broken handmirror)
A For every twenty-four hours you go without feeding on an intelligent creature, save or lose your mind until it is done. Feeding automatically fails if the target can defend themselves at all, heals you by 1d6, and deals the same in constitution damage. Your nails and teeth lengthen and clatter like coins by moonlight.
B Intelligent creatures cannot break eye contact with you if you do not allow it, and are vulnerable while so mesmerized. Your eyes reflect like burnished silver by moonlight.
C You are weightless if you want to be. Ignore damage from mundane weapons.
D By night, you are immune to everything but fire.
Murdered Lover (start with a mortal wound, a bloodstained collection of love letters, a strange-yet-deadly weapon, and a locket with your love's portrait inside) (SquigBoss)
A You are dead, yet still have some semblance of life animating your dead-yet-beautiful corpse. If you would die, you instead don't, instead rising 1d6 days later. Choose another party member; they are your lover. When close to your lover, they have +<template> on saves. Whether or not your lover realizes this up for debate, but they cannot take another love while you still walk.
B You do not know who your murderer is, but know the exact distance and direction to them from where you currently are. You can track their trail like a trained bloodhound.
C You can now enter the dreams of both your lover and your killer, and communicate to them in that fashion. You can choose whether to send sweet dreams or nightmares.
D You can force anyone who sees you to save vs. fear or be afraid while you are in their presence — except for your lover. Once you are avenged on your killer, you either: Die peacefully, if this is a tragedy, but leave your lover to wonder and dread, or: be magically resurrected, if this is a comedy, at which point you and your lover retire to grow old together.
Murdered Lover (start with your corpse, a locket with your portrait, and a rotten coffer of your favourite meal that you can no longer eat)
A You have two parts - a ghost and a skeleton. You can move them independently, but your ghost cannot move more than 120 feet from the skeleton. The ghost can see and hear, but you have no access to other senses. The skeleton fights as a skeleton monster, and can be repaired if destroyed.
B You gain a general idea of where your murderer and your former lover are, making you aware of what continent they are on if you are on a different one, or otherwise making you aware of what 100-mile radius they are in. You gain +<template> to saves while within 25 miles of your lover, and +<template> to to-hit while within 25 miles of your murderer.
C You can reconcile your two parts - combining them lets you fight as a player character of the same level, as well as granting you +4 AC and +30 feet of speed if not wearing armour.
D From this point onward, if you reconcile with your lover, you can permanently merge your ghost with your skeleton, making the latter grow flesh, which will take 1 month to complete. If you avenge yourself, but leave your murderer on death's door, you can possess their body. They will never die as long as they are possessed by you, and will be able to sense everything their body normally would, but will be completely under your control. You probably won't make it to heaven.
Slave Queen (start with manacles, a prison shank, and a wooden replica crown) (RandomWizard)
A You have 1d4 escaped slaves as retainers. None are especially competent (probably children or former farmers), but they’re fanatically loyal to you.
B People have an additional 2-in-6 chance to actually follow and listen to your royal decrees. Slavers have a 4-in-6 chance.
C Restraints shatter, tattoos and brands fade, and symbols of imprisonment crumble at your touch. Slavers must save or flee in terror just while being in the same room as you.
D With an hour of impassioned speech, you can lead a large group/plantation of slaves into a full revolt. They can put together improvised weapons and tactics with incredible competence. If it succeeds (it probably will), another 1st-level Slave Queen emerges from the group.
Valentine Fox (start with a bindlestick and 1d6 rumors of wealth)
A You are a fox, but no one holds that against you. You can still manipulate objects in your paws and speak with the ~~suckers~~ normal people, who trust you until you give them a reason not to.
B If you spend an afternoon in fraud, you have a 2-in-6 chance of doubling your cash, a 2-in-6 chance of going broke, and a 1-in-6 chance of catching the attention of the Law.
C You can perfectly mimic the voices of anyone whose head you own. You can send the head off as a letter, and have it say whatever you want to the recipient.
D Losing your head does not kill you, though you can pretend it does.
Unhappy Bride (start with a tear-stained photo album, a luggage thing (I forgot the word) of neatly folded clothes, and a bottle of vodka) (RTX)
A You get a dog that likes you very much, but unfortunately also likes your spouse. The dog has stats like wolf, regardless of their stature.
B You get +4 to all rolls, +2 to saves, and 10 temporary HP when drinking vodka with some form of fruit juice.
C Your dog gains +1 HD, +2 to-hit, and starts to hate your spouse, gaining an additional +4 to-hit against them.
D You get over your terrible marriage to the point where you can go back to the house and kick the fucker off. If you succeed, you may peacefully retire.
Undine (start with a bunch of javelins, plate mail, and overused Undertale jokes) (RandomWizard)
A You can perfectly track the movements of children through an area. While attacking them, you can make your attacks cause no death or permanent injury at will.
B Being a fish, you can swim, breathe water, and befriend other sea creatures.
C You have a lizard scientist girlfriend or something. She can build or improve your equipment, or send some weird mutated monsters to help you out in a bad situation.
D When you would die, you can instead fight on with raw willpower for 5 minutes or so, slowly disintegrating in the process. You also get a really good battle theme to go with it.
Sound Somnambulist (start with a set of panpipes or a didgeridoo, foppish clothing, a sack of grain) (Vayra)
A You're an expert musician. You can move around and fight, climb, play the didgeridoo, etc in your sleep, though your part in any conversation will be extremely disjointed.
B While you play your instrument, up to <templates> sleeping creatures that can hear you fall under your control and do exactly as you intend. They will not awaken as long as you keep playing.
C You can project a cacophonous nightmare into the dreams of anyone sleeping by playing your instrument, dealing them <templates> damage per round. You can target as many creatures as are within earshot.
D Anyone who hears you play your instrument must save or fall asleep. Passing the save renders them immune until the next time they sleep naturally.
Valet Murderer (start with an extremely expensive suit, leather gloves, a garrotte and a wealthy master)
A You serve a Gentleman Murderer, but he is very busy and often sends you to do his errands. You face no legal repercussions for murdering people he designates. It's not hard to convince him to designate your own enemies.
B Local guards and military will supply you with weapons and intelligence if they know who you are (and your target isn't one of them).
C If you are left alone for an hour with a body, you can remove all evidence or leave false evidence inculpating some other Murderer and removing social repercussions for the deed.
D Whenever you choose, murder your master and take his place. You have a title and a significant inheritance — and a new, helpful valet...
Substance and Shadow (start with a large cloak, two collapsible batons, and a bullseye lantern)
A Fall towards a light source and your shadow will rise out of the ground. Harsher light makes it stronger. You cannot interact with anything while inside the ground.
B Your shadow is denser and better-defined. By altering its shape, you can give it different abilities, like flight or natural weapons.
C Your shadow is as strong as two men. People do not notice you unless specifically searching for you.
D Your shadow can speak in your voice, and if it is wearing your clothes most will assume it is you. You are invisible in soft light.
Substance and Shadow (Xenophon)
A You are a cursed object with a storied history. You can manifest as a shadowy spirit once per night, but can't affect anything in the physical world.
B In shadow form, you can whisper and cause slight breezes.
C In shadow form, you can move small objects and manipulate finely.
D You can transform your shadow form into a real human body, but if this body dies you die.
Favorite Queen (start with a popular novel, fancy clothing, and a muff pistol)
A You have two lovers vying for your affections. They are something else on this list. Roll randomly.
B Your lovers have leveled up and are eager to prove their devotion. They will undertake brave quests you designate.
C Choose a new 3rd lover of your choice. The three of them will do anything you say.
D Two of your lovers kill each other in a duel; the third is now a 4th level character. You can marry them, or murder them to become a 4th level Lady of the Fell House.
Stranger Grave (start with outdated occult texts, heresies, and treasure maps, as well as a wave-bladed dagger) (Vayra)
A Demons, the undead, and animal predators are aware you are nobility and have authority over them. Their reaction to this may vary.
B You can enter a fugue state, giving you an X-in-6 chance (where X is 6 minus your current fatigue) of +4 MD for ten minutes. You get 1d4 fatigue afterwards.
C You can always successfully flee witch hunters and religious enforcers. Also, learn +1 rumor when interacting with a source of forbidden knowledge or eldritch lore.
D You learn what, if anything, can remove you from your office. Also, once per foe per combat, you can spend your turn telling them to do something and they will do it.
Story Teller (Starts with a small harp and an endless supply of stories) (Xenophon)
A When you tell a story, your audience must save or be enthralled until you complete the telling.
B You can tell a story of such beauty that any who hear it must save or repent of their evil deeds.
C You can tell a story of such sadness that any who hear it must save or weep for 1d4 hours.
D You can tell a story of such horror and power that any who hear it must save or die.
Dark Star (Xenophon)
A You are a quite literally a dark star of evil omen shining down upon the Earth. You can see anything that happens under the sky, and can communicate through blinking. You can curse any who walk in your light to take 1d4 extra damage whenever they take damage.
B You can cause a pillar of vile light to shine down once per night. Any who stand in it must save or become corrupted and evil.
C The denizens of your surface will fight on your behalf. You can summon 1d4 Star Beasts to attack your foes once per night.
D The constellations have aligned. Your allies on Earth can perform an unholy ritual to switch you with the Sun, ensuring your reign over the Earth.
Dark Star (Purplecthulhu)
A You are a tiny floating star, around the size of a person's head. You can hold items with your gravitational pull, and you give off heat, but not light.
B You can create images out of swirling stellar dust. It's thick enough to block vision.
C You can generate bursts of radiation, withering plants and killing small animals. It won't kill humans, but it might sterilize them and definitely give them horrible cancer in a couple of years.
D If you die, you turn into a tiny blackhole, with all the implications that apply. If you die as a black hole, you're dead for good.
Omen of the Grave (Start with a shovel and a tome of all names) (Walfalcon)
A Read someone's name out of your tome in order to make someone take 1d4 unhealable damage every time they are wounded. You cannot read another name until you bury a fresh humanoid corpse.
B Read someone's name backwards to give them a 50% chance of surviving death. This effect lasts and cannot be used again until someone whose name you read forwards has died.
C Seven times per week (resetting on Friday at 2400) you can determine someone's true name by looking at them.
D You no longer need your book to read names.
Soldier of Fortune (Starts with a military saber, a lance, a flintlock pistol, a hussar's uniform, and a horse) (Xenophon)
A You can travel with alacrity over any terrain, mounted or unmounted, and you can wake from sleep at even the slightest suggestion of danger.
B You can attack twice per round, and are a skilled scout.
C Your fame has spread. Strangers have a 2-in-6 chance of having heard of your exploits, good and evil.
D You can inspire even the greenest troops to feats of greatness with your mere presence, and even the most hardened veterans flee your enmity.
Soldier of Fortune (start with a short blade, a long blade, a shield with an unfamiliar coat of arms, and a backpack of miscellaneous survival gear (1-in-2 chance of having something you need)) (Lexi)
A Whenever you travel to a new region, you may learn a fighting style or ability from the people who live there. Learn two at creation, one from your home region far away, and one from where you begin the campaign.
B Whenever you fail a save that you haven't failed before, get +2 to future saves against that effect.
C You can tell inspiring stories around the campfire, giving everyone advantage on a related test the next day. Your tall tale has to be at least mostly true to your personal experience.
D Get Zouave's A template. You may now start taking templates of Zouave as you continue to level up.
Maniac Mother (start with old dress and apron, butcher's cleaver, poisoned cookies) (Purplecthulhu)
A You're a perfect Stepford wife. You can cook and clean supernaturally fast, and no one can know your true feelings about something without mind reading.
B While inside a house or other lived-in place, you have a vague idea of what everything within is doing. You don't know what kind of creature they are, and you can't sense mindless creatures.
C When inside a building, you can teleport to any doorway inside that you've been through before.
D You're more than just a housewife; you become a housewife. While inside a house or other lived-in space, you can walk through walls, extinguish lights, make food poisonous, and generally cause terror.
Smuggler King (start with 100 gp in stolen goods concealed about your person and a functionally infinite supply of hidden knives) (Lexi)
A Everyone in the criminal underground knows your name and respects you. They'll rip you off the absolute minimum amount and are willing to do favors to stay in your good graces.
B You can hire stealthy mundane transport from anywhere to anywhere else on a moment's notice.
C You've either been through or heard of every secret passage and hidden door, and can open any door given enough time and tools.
D You learn the location of something so incredibly valuable you'll be able to retire forever and live like true royalty. You've only got one window of opportunity. Make it count.

The themes of this batch tended towards fairy-tale rather than gothic horror (except for the stars). We are now at ninety-nine of these things!

Monday, July 6, 2020

Action 52 (52 GLOG classes)

I wrote a list of fifty class names, and the OSR Discord filled it out (Phlox did fifteen on his own here).

Nicked this list from udan-adan and converted it into class names.

Betrayed (start with a sword, a shield, and a keepsake) (Phlox)
A +1d6 damage against those whom you have sworn vengeance against; random encounters automatically include agents of those whom you have failed to bring vengeance against.
B Automatically succeed when interrogating servants of your foes, so long as they have fewer HD than you.
C Self-sabotage. You can always cause someone to slight you. Also, get 1 DR against environmental damage; it won’t be this that kills you.
D When a spell reduces you to 0 or less hp, you learn it. +1 MD.
Forsaken Grave (start with outdated licenses, seals, and writs, as well as a roundel dagger) (Phlox)
A Convince commoners and animals you are nobility with authority.
B You can enter an indignant rage, giving you +4 charisma for ten minutes. However, you must attempt to convince rather than physically attack, and get 1d4 fatigue afterwards.
C You can always successfully flee nobles and legal enforcers. Also, learn +1 rumor when investigating ancient constructions in your nation of origin.
D You learn what, if anything, can restore you to your original office. Also, once per foe per combat, you can spend your turn telling them to do something and they will do it.
Blighted One (start with a bell, a staff, a bucket, and leprosy or something) (Phlox)
A Intelligent enemies do their best to avoid touching you.
B You and an opponent you touch both test constitution. The one who fails takes 1d6 attribute damage of your choice.
C Reattach dismembered limbs with mud. Also, charm vermin and insects.
D Throw a limb at a foe. They save vs. fear or flee.
Stone Druid (start with a stone sickle, a homesick raccoon, and a geode) (Phlox)
A Spend Stone Dice to ask small favors of stone, +1 SD
B Spend SD to move stone walls, floors, and ceilings, +1 SD
C Spend SD to become animate stone, +1 SD
D You can create permanent Stonehenge Golems, +1 SD
Black Towerer (start with very stretchy shorts and a sling) (Phlox)
A Allies can climb you as easily as a ladder. They get +2 to attacks against foes lower than them.
B +1 story in height, take half damage from projectiles.
C +1 story in height, see all potential random encounters far in advance.
D +1 story in height, carry twice as much but you cannot reach these new inventory slots yourself.
Bandit Monk (start with a pair of tonfa, a rustic hat, and a burlap sack) (Phlox)
A While carrying rural or no weapons and wearing light or no armor, leap 15 feet (horizontal or vertical).
B When you hit someone while unarmed, take a random item from them. (Not their wielded weapon or worn armor).
C +2d6 to dexterity tests while unobserved.
D If you have mostly cleared out a dungeon or hidden wilderness outpost, automatically gain bandit followers each month.
Accursed Skeleton (start with a flesh prison, a cutlass, and a breastplate) (Phlox)
A Your bones regrow at 4 AM every day. This heals bone-related injuries. Also, dogs hate you.
B Break off a finger in a lock to unlock it. Also, you can attack twice at half damage.
C You can cause your ribcage to explode, damaging everyone in front of you for 2d6, save halves.
D Take half damage from slashing and piercing weapons. Crack your skull to negate fall damage.
Hour of Retribution (start with a pocket watch, righteous indignation, ghost clothes) (Gorinich from the OSR Discord)
A You're a ghost haunting a pocket watch. You die if it stops, and you are invisible and immaterial while being observed.
B You gain 1 MD whenever you witness a crime go unpunished (crime meaning some grievous act that effects your personal code of ethics). Spend MD to do spooky shit.
C Whisper about what's coming into someone's ear and they will constantly hearing a clock ticking.
D When you hear a person proclaim an oath of vengeance, you can give them one of your MD.
Black Mantle (start with a fabulous black cloak, formal wear, cane sword, pocket sand) (Gorinich)
A When you wear a black cloak, nobody can recognize you as the same person without the black cloak, no matter how obvious it is.
B You always succeed when trying to physically blind normal people, and can attempt to blind normally unblindable ones.
C You can walk or run or dance on a tight rope without fear of falling.
D Nobody can interrupt you when you're in the middle of a dramatic monologue.
Secret Monk (Archon's Court)
A Your order has taught you many things. You automatically pass all checks related to gathering public information (history, the sciences).
B Secrets can be seen with ease. Speak someone's secrets back to them to get an emotional response (provoke them, force a Morale check, etc.)
C The mind is an organ, like any other. Once per day, when you hit with an unarmed attack, you can cause someone to forget 3 things.
D Nothing can be hidden from you. Once per day, root through someone's mind, and learn all they know.
Phantom Ship (start with an ethereal cutlass, fine tattered coat, half a dozen buccaneers, and spyglass) (Lynn)
A Your dead crew can sing and dance in perfect rhythm.
B Always survive a shipwreck.
C Pass through walls.
D Ride your spectral vessel at full speed. It is intangible to the living.
Wizard of the Sea (start with an air bladder, a monkey, and a gold armband) (Phlox)
A Throw gusts of air at will.
B +1 MD. Cast sea-related spells.
C +1 MD. Can now become a crab or sea creature at will.
D +1 MD. Charon will do you favors now, preventing foes from resurrecting.
Castle Fiend (start with 10 bricks, tattered pants, and a bucket of mortar) (Gorinich)
A When you hit someone with a brick from up close, everyone else won't notice it.
B You may drop 1d4 items to reroll attempts to climb, sneak, or harass.
C You can instantly extinguish anything smaller then a bonefire.
D You can throw up 5-by-5 wall in five minutes.
Companion of Silence (start with chardun manacles, a simple robe, and a quarterstaff)
A Choose whether or not to be silent at the start of each day. While silent your strength score is doubled but you must save vs. death if you make any sound (this includes firing guns or stepping on twigs).
B You can communicate, through gestures and eye movements, with any animal.
C You may ask the spirits of the area one yes-or-no question for every hour you spend in silent meditation.
D Once per lifetime you may share one truth, which is acknowledged by everyone as something monumental.
Companion of Silence (start with snacks, grooming kit, small knife and military attire)(Gorinich)
A You have a pet Silence, it's like a possum but huge, very very quiet, and nothing like a possum. It hates loud things and like tummy rubs.
B You can communicate perfectly with animals and humans using only glares and meaningful glances.
C Both you and your Silence can be invisible as long as you hold your breath.
D You can ride your Silence and it's grown to a point where it can produce children if it can find another Silence to mate with.
Knight of the Iron Ring (Start with bronze panoply and a dagger) (Phlox)
A You may take 1 point of fatigue to barrel through a substance that is softer than your armor. When overburdened, you do not take penalties to attack.
B Extra attack per round.
C If your armor is harder than a foe’s, get +2 to maneuvers against them. You receive no penalty to swimming for wearing armor.
D Your flesh is as hard as bronze when you want it to be.
Knight of the Iron Ring (start with chain mail, signet ring, and really fancy helmet) (RandomWizard of the OSR Discord)
A While wearing appropriate metal jewelry, your fists can fight as dual-wielded swords. If dual-wielding isn't a thing in your GLOG, it is now.
B You can make your voice perfectly imitate the sound of a large, clear bell somewhere nearby.
C You can throw metal rings (either worn on fingers, or ninja star chakram thingies) like boomerangs or poisoned throwing knives.
D You can disassemble a suit of chain mail armor into rings, or vice versa, in only one minute. The individual rings work for other ring stuff you already know.
Pirate's Bride (start with a knife, an apron, a glass eye, and ∞ grog) (Phlox)
A You always have grog handy. When you would kill a foe, you can automatically make it flee instead.
B When an ally really should have brought a mundane item with them, you remembered to pack it.
C If you are wronged, you can head to port and call in an angry pirate crew.
D Throw a piece of gold into a fountain, well, or river with a message inscribed on it. An intended recipient finds the message in the next saltwater they encounter and can send a reply.
Maniac of the Deep (start with a loosened straightjacket, a fishing spear, and a waterlogged book) (Phlox)
A Drowning does not cause you to die. Anyone who witnesses your dreams takes 1d8 wisdom damage.
B You may glow in the dark.
C You may destroy a spellbook or other important piece of information to reroll a save against an ongoing effect.
D Whenever you fail a roll, the water level rises by 1 foot, receding at a rate of 1 foot every hour.
Demon Dwarf (start with a mattock, lockpicks, 4 troll-fat candles, and a helmet) (Phlox)
A Fires you start cast light only you can see.
B Those who break agreements with you, knowing your nature, save vs. death.
C You can crawl into a recently deceased corpse and pilot it around.
D When you carouse, you may spend 500 gp to wake from a fugue having crafted a terrible magic weapon, with unique capabilities but harsh drawbacks.
Demon Huntsman (start with holy chains binding your chest, a battleaxe, and a crossbow) (Xenophon of Athens)
A You are a demon bound to hunt other demons. Your attacks against other demons deal 1d6 extra damage.
B You can breathe fire.
C You are undetectable in shadow.
D Your bonds have been broken. Time to take revenge upon those who forced you to slay your kin. You always know their location.
Destroying Sorcerer (start with a scar over your medulla oblongata, a tattoo under your hair, and a scalpel made out of indestructible ceramic)
A Your hands deal damage as a knife, and your touch corrodes metal in seconds.
B Once per day, bring your hands together to cause a 4 MD fireball to go off centered on your location, dealing no damage to you.
C Jump ten feet by setting off small explosions beneath you. Works in mid-air.
D Flammable objects catch fire when you touch them, and fragile objects shatter when you look at them. Take half damage from all sources.
Dice of Death (start with 2 bone dice and a drinking problem) (Archon's Court)
A If you whisper the name of someone to your dice, you curse them. Both you and your target take 2d6 damage from seemingly random accidents.
B Your Dice can be used on nameless things (animals, lesser angels, not demons, as they are all named).
C When you curse something with your dice, you take the better roll of the 2d6.
D Your curse extends - inanimate objects can be cursed, causing them to fall apart. This requires a detailed description of the object.
Fatal Mystic (start with a turban or elaborate hat festooned with decorations and both ordinary and trick versions of: a deck of tarot cards, a set of dice, a bag of runestones, a box of tea, and a haruspicy knife) (Vayra)
A You can tell fortunes, which takes a minimum of one round and requires you to be within handshake distance of the subject, though it does not require their consent. Roll 1d6 and consult the table.
1. Death. All damage taken by the subject is doubled until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, they suffer 4d6 damage from a heart attack, aneurysm, falling rock, or other coincidental cause immediately after you read their fortune.
2. Ruin. All of the subject's failures become fumbles until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, their most prized possession is destroyed at the end of the fortune's effect.
3. Strife. Tempers flare around the subject until the next dawn or dusk, causing a -2 penalty to reaction rolls. At 4th level, someone they do not expect will move against them at the end of the fortune's effect.
4. Bees. The subject continually emits bees from their orifices until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, this effect is permanent.
5. Health. The subject's HP is doubled until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, any disease, poison, or curse affecting them is removed at the end of the fortune's effect.
6. Glory. All of the subject's successes become crits until the next dawn or dusk. At 4th level, the next time they would die within that period they survive with 1 HP instead.
B It's not your time, not yet: whenever you roll a die, call a number. If you roll that number, you heal 1 HP.
C When you tell a fortune, you can twist the skeins of fate to shift the result one point in either direction. Each time you do, the next d20 you roll is a fumble. You can do this once per fortune, and the fumbles stack.
D Your fortunes gain an additional effect, detailed in the table.
Avenger's Doom (start with a basket-hilted backsword, a dirk, a revolver, and a uniform)(Xenophon)
A You have a vendetta against those with a vendetta. If someone you meet is driven by revenge, you know, and you will bring them their Doom.
B If a foe is driven by revenge, you have advantage on attacks against them.
C You are supernaturally intimidating, especially while wearing a cloak.
D You may pronounce Dooms. They will become true, so long as they are just.
Secret Assassin of the Old Stone Cross (start with a fake tooth containing cyanide, formal wear, a boot-dagger, a cane-sword, and a stock of esoteric poisons) (Xenophon)
A You are a member of a secret society, the Old Stone Cross. Kill their enemies to gain favors (they are well-connected in the upper-crust).
B You can identify most poisons, venoms and esoteric substances with a sniff. You always have an antidote on hand.
C Your poisons are effective against demons, ghosts and large buildings.
D You are a Grand Master of the Old Stone Cross, and can designate enemies to be killed within 1d6 weeks.
Invisible Husband (start with a loincloth, a metal bow which requires 30 strength to use, and twenty poisoned arrows)
A While unobserved, your Strength is 30.
B Fly while not observed. If seen, return to your starting point.
C Reveal your face to a lone target to force a save vs. charm, taking 2d6 damage if they succeed.
D Converse with the g_ds at your leisure.
Invisible Assassin (start with a towering hatred of all human life)
A You are a ghastly hunter-killer serving the bidding of an evil wizard. You are invisible and immune to mundane weaponry, but are compelled to follow your master's orders.
B You can fly, and can track humans by their souls.
C You can move between this realm and the ethereal plane at will.
D Your masters control has slipped. You know his location (for the moment), and are free until he binds you again.
Headless (start with off-color cloth armor, a mace, and a fancy hat) (Phlox)
A Immune to head-based disfigurements. Can swing wildly to attack everyone adjacent, friend or foe.
B Once per day, trip over some desired item that would make sense in the area.
C Put a small item or animal on your neck-stump. It grants a minor related ability.
D When a beneficial effect can only effect a certain number of people, you can get the benefit without counting against the limit.
Dead Man Come to Life Again (start with funeral wrappings, holy symbol, perfumes and incense) (Purplecthulhu of the OSR Discord)
A You control your perfumed funeral wrappings like ghostly fingers. They are deceptively strong.
B You can call the lingering soul of the dead to possess its corpse and answer one question.
C Mundane diseases and poisons are neutralized by your touch, and any physical defects caused by them are removed.
D You will not die until struck with three mortal wounds.
Western Warrior (start with a dozen knives, a gi, and a cowboy hat)
A While holding two weapons, make an extra attack each turn. If you miss it looks like you totally meant to do that.
B You can chuck a knife at someone before they make a ranged attack against you. If it hits, they automatically miss.
C You can walk on water for as long as you can hold your breath.
D Jump distance is trebled, and you only make sound while moving if you want to.
Black Rider (start with a voluminous cloak, a blue-black Arabian, and an ancient arming sword)
A Your weapons deal damage that can only be healed by magic.
B Move at triple speed on horseback when alone, or traveling only with other Black Riders. Treat rough or forested terrain as road.
C Take half damage from all sources except fire and water.
D Sniff out gold like a bloodhound. Always know the location of other Black Riders.
Black Rider (start with a fabulous horse, outdated military attire and a carvery saber) (Gorinich)
A Can never be knocked off a horse. There is always a brief hushed silence when you enter a room.
B Can teach a horse to enjoy the taste of human flesh.
C If you are blind, then everyone within a 50 foot radius is also blind.
D Get an temporary MD for each person who swears an oath of vengeance against you. Spend this MD to imbue horses with dark energies.
Lady of the Fell House (start with a formal wear, a crumbling country mansion or a rich townhouse, expensive perfumes and makeup, and a poisoned dagger) (Xenophon)
A No one will ever seek to do justice on you for your misdeeds so long as they take place on your property.
B You can walk totally silently, even in formal wear, and can always sneak up on people.
C You always know the location of any secret passages, doors, and chambers.
D You can command ghosts and other spirits.
Man With the Huge Umbrella (start with a huge umbrella and a nice suit)
A Your umbrella is six feet long, eight feet across when opened, and is completely indestructible. If you spend more than twenty-four hours not in its presence you die messily.
B The umbrella length and breadth can increase/decrease to three/one third times its normal size. At full size it can carry [level] humanoids safely down from any height.
C The umbrella is a +1 sword, and deals full damage to ghosts, undead and werewolves.
D If you lay the umbrella somewhere (or it is carried away by something), you know exactly where it is and can immediately transport yourself to its location at any time.
Mountain Fiend (start with 10 stones, a loincloth, and 66' of rope) (Phlox)
A When you hit someone with a rock from a distance, make a free maneuver.
B You may drop 1d4 items to reroll attempts to climb, sneak, or harass.
C Stone is flammable for you.
D You can dig a 5x5x5 cube in five minutes.
Victim of Tyranny (start with a stick of dynamite, 100 feet of rope, a set of lockpicks, and tattered commoner's clothes) (Xenophon)
A You are a victim of an oppressing power. You have a +1 to all rolls to help you Fight the Power.
B The Man can never catch you with His searches and manhunts.
C You can completely destroy any machine in ten unsupervised minutes, no matter how complicated or advanced.
D You can completely dismantle any organization in ten unsupervised minutes, if you have access to their records or their leader.
Mysterious Dagger (start with a classy bejeweled hilt, and some shmuck) (Gorinich)
A You're a dagger with a sinister aura currently puppeteering some shmuck, and can easily control another shmuck if this one dies. You do not know how you got here.
B If used to sacrifice a chicken, you can summon a random demon to this location.
C You can move while no one is looking. Including flinging yourself to stab someone.
D You figured out what you are, and by revealing this secret you can make someone a witch of some sort.
Bride of Mystery (start with a thieves' lantern, a heavy veil, and a bronze saber)
A Supernatural beings will not hurt you unless seriously provoked.
B Proficiency in swords, and an extra attack per turn.
C If you pass a save against a mind-altering effect, the caster suffers the effect instead.
D Enemies make morale checks the first time they see you on the battlefield and the first time you personally kill one of them.
Wood Demon (start with shaggy unkempt fur full of mud and brambles, and a terrifying mask hiding a terrifying face) (Gorinich)
A Your shaggy fur smells real bad, people gotta save to come close to you. Nasty bois will recognise you as their compatriot.
B You are unbothered by rough terrain in a forest or wooden building, even in the thickest brambles in a full sprint. In fact you can run through it and leave no mark of your passing.
C When a human suddenly sees your face they gotta save vs fainting.
D When you dance that wild dance, hooves clip clop and horns swing-a-ling, nobody but the pure of heart can resist, they gotta join the party.
Phantom Voice (start with formal attire, stage costume, creepy looking puppet and a bottle of gin) (Gorinich)
A You can throw your voice, making people think your producing sounds from across the room. Your face doesn't reveal you are producing the sound.
B You can mimic other people's voices really well and can do a really haunting howl.
C You can throw your voice way farther, like across a meadow, and can have it emanate from any point with throwing distance.
D You can scream without rest for a week straight.
Doomed One (start with chain armor, a utilitarian longsword, a tattered banner, a grim look) (Vayra)
A You are doomed, and you know and have accepted this. You're immune to fear and related effects. Random negative effects tend to target you
B When an adjacent ally takes damage or rolls a fumble, you suffer instead of them.
C When you touch anything cursed, the curse is drawn into you. Gain 1 HP for each curse you accumulate.
D Your very presence spells doom: whenever anyone you're touching rolls a die, they roll twice and take the worse result. Also, if you would die, you survive until the end of your dramatic soliloquy.
Ranger of the Tomb (start with a hornbow and 20 darts, three sticks of dynamite, 30' of razor wire and an alcohol lantern)
A Track undead like a bloodhound. No penalties for fighting in dim light, cramped spaces or rough terrain.
B You are accompanied by a friendly ghost who does favors for you like a normal ranger's animal companion.
C Wear cursed objects for bonuses to attack, defense and HP proportionate to the curse. Curses still apply.
D Your eyes can glow in the dark, making you highly visible but revealing 5' in front of you. Disappear into one shadow, reappear from another at any time (unless it's literally impossible for you to be there).
Red Cross Warrior (start with binoculars, three pipe bombs, and a bottle of painkillers)
A You have a list of 1d6 followers of the Old Stone Cross. Gain your choice of +1 to-hit, +1 AC or +1 HP every time you kill one, for a maximum of +[level] to each.
B You can make a pipebomb out of household ingredients with half an hour's effort.
C Identify Stone Crosser's by sight.
D Take half damage from explosives on a failed save, or no damage on a successful one.
Spirit of the Night (start with two secrets, a prayer, a knife, and a curse) (Vayra)
A You can see perfectly well in the dark outdoors, and hear anything whispered into the night winds within any area that you focus your senses.
B You can see perfectly well in the dark anywhere, and manipulate small objects within line of sight as if you were holding them so long as they are in darkness.
C You move twice as fast in the dark, and can extinguish small fires (torch-sized) from thirty feet with a breath.
D You can fly in the dark, but take 1 damage per round exposed to bright light. If this reduces you to 0 HP or lower, you reform at midnight the next night.
Specter of the Hall (start with a mask, formal wear with cloak, a garrote, a hacksaw, a grappling hook, and 50 feet of rope) (Xenophon)
A You can never be detected or seen in terrain you're intimately familiar with unless you wish it.
B You can always kill totally silently with your sneaky weapon of choice.
C If you sabotage something, it will not be discovered until you wish it to be or your sabotage achieves its goal.
D If you reveal yourself dramatically, all present must save vs fear or flee.
Sea-Fiend (starts with a fishing net, sharkskin kilt, bag of sea urchins) (Purplecthulhu)
A You can breathe in water, and swim in it at inhuman speeds. You reek of the ocean.
B You can drink as much water as you want, with your only limit being time. You can vomit it back up as saltwater, filled with technically edible rotting fish and kelp.
C You can communicate with aquatic life, with saltwater fish and molluscs understanding you best and freshwater insects and amphibians understanding the worst. Most are intimidated by you, and will follow your commands out of fear.
D You can shift yourself to resemble aquatic life. You can gain a minor ability from each aquatic animal you've taken a bite of, and shift into a nightmarish mash of gills, tentacles, claws, and jaws.
Skeleton Lover (start with a shovel, medical texts, and worn out formal attire) (Gorinich)
A You can dig up bones with remarkable speed, and can identify who or what they were by touch as well as cause of death.
B You can recite sappy poetry to a skeleton, and they must save or become smitten or at least flattered.
C Your strength is doubled when defending someone you love.
D You strip off your flesh and become a true skeleton, at last at peace with yourself, and dogs hate you.
Wild Witch of the Heath (start with a cauldron, a pouch of rare spell ingredients, a broomstick, and a familiar) (Xenophon)
A You can appear any age and attractiveness you wish, but your true form is wizened and hideous. You cast spells with a cauldron and strange materials. +1 MD
B If you cast your Evil Eye upon someone, they have bad luck for the next 24 hours. +1 MD
C While in the desolate highlands, you can appear in a flash of smoke and disappear into banks of fog. +1 MD
D You can prophesy doom upon your foes, hidden as a blessing. +1 MD
Demon of the Glen (start with a trowel, a watering can, a wooden bucket, a sharpened stick)(Vayra)
A You can talk to trees and photosynthesize.
B Your appearance becomes fearsome, your skin turns hard and bark-like and your fingers become long, twisted claws.
C You can grant plant life within earshot the ability to ambulate around and interact with objects, as long as you can convince them to do so towards your ends (try negotiating!).
D You can walk into a tree and walk out of any other tree, anywhere, that you have touched.
Witch of the Wave (start with a surfboard, powerful sunblock, a harpoon)
A You are an expert surfer and know spells of sunshine and saltwater. +1 MD.
B You can breathe underwater. +1 MD.
C Your surfboard can fly like a broomstick. +1 MD.
D You can turn fresh water into brine, and can summon mermaids and sea serpents with your MD. +1 MD.
Vampire Pirate (start with a cutlass, cloth armor, an umbrella, and charms purported to ward off the undead) (Phlox)
A You can’t cross fresh water or touch sunlight, but heal when you inflict biting damage and get +2 to brawling rolls. Bites do 1d4 damage.
B You can turn into a bat or parrot, and roll over ground or water as fog. You are as vulnerable as ever in these forms.
C When you lock eyes with a crewmate, you may dictate their actions instead of taking a turn of your own.
D Those you kill with your bites rise the following midnight as buccaneers.
Two Dead Bodies (start with broken climbing gear, waterlogged torches, and sharp bone fragments) (Oblidisideryptch)
A You cannot be moved if you don't want to be, and nobody can move past you without tripping.
B Your death-grip cannot be broken if you don't want it .
C If someone dragging y'all is attacked in melee the attacker loses their weapon on a miss.
D Once per day, someone can stomp on one of you to release a huge gas burp that makes everyone heave. Can be used to negate fall damage.
Two Dead Bodies (start with nothing, not even memories)
A You are an ambulatory skeleton and, additionally and separately, a motile heap of muscles, skin and hair. The bones are nearly indestructible, and the flesh is crushingly strong. Draping one over the other is not convincing.
B The bones can squeeze the flesh like a bagpipe to produce a voice or loud music.
C While together, the flesh can reshape itself to resemble any humanoid with basically the same structure as the bones.
D While together, the combined flesh-bone creature has superhuman strength and durability.
Mystic Cavern (surprise last-minute entry by RandomWizard)
A You are a cave. You can also get up and walk around to go adventuring. I guess you have really big stone legs or something? You have a lot of AC and HP (stabbing a cave is not very effective; enemies will probably need explosives or something).
B Being mystic, you can cast spells. Use the spell list from Skerples' Speleomage. If you think too hard about how this works, roll for a Mishap. +1 MD.
C Pools of weird mystic water, and valuable and rare ores, show up inside your rocky depths. The water does weird magic stuff when drunk. 1-in-2 chance that a group of miners will show up to explore the place. +1 MD.
D Roll for 1d4 cave random encounters. They live inside you now. They're mildly loyal, and will follow orders from the mysterious cave spirit or whatever. +1 MD.

Secret bonus class: Julian. Start with clothes, knife, cool nametag

1. Absolutely nothing.

2. A prehensile beard, one inch long.

3. A sneak attack.

4. Someone else named Julian has become extremely famous. You can use that Julian's name to gatecrash cool parties and get favors from rich people.

Instead of letting those ungrateful bastards (by which I mean players) choose their own class, make them roll on this table. It will teach them to be thankful for what they have.

Thursday, June 18, 2020

Thief Guilds of the Blessed City (GLOG Classes: Thief Guilds)

Thieves! Good stuff, thieves. Sneaky troublemakers who never seem to suffer the consequences they deserve. These are Lexi's thief guilds.

As a Thief you can wear light armor but can not carry shields. You never fumble with knives or clubs. Your Guild will give you other proficiencies.

Dagger Cults

Source: Wikimedia.

The worshipers of Volund. They form small groups wherever there is both industry and poverty. Though a cripple and half-blind, Volund exacts revenge for even the smallest insult. His followers revel in escalation of violence. Disproportionate responses are how they honor their g_d.

Skills: 1. Smithing 2. Animal Handling 3. Opera. You are proficient with slings and garrotes.

Starting Equipment: three daggers (light), a sash for holding daggers, half a dozen beautifully worked sheathes for daggers, a whetstone of an appropriate size for daggers and an object from the ninjas's equipment list

Purpose
✧ You talk to knives as if they were people. Your thrown weapons have double range and +2 to-hit.

✧✧ You have names for each knife and assign eccentric personalities to them. Your attacks ignore cover of any kind; thrown weapons turn corners and navigate dense underbrush to hit targets within range.

✧✧✧ Sometimes, the knives talk back. You may forego attacking and spend your turn whispering the name of a target to your weapon; if you do so, your next thrown attack at that target automatically hits.
Myriapod
✧ As the Volundarkvitha says: "Many legs make light labor". Whatever that means, I guess. You may wall-run horizontally for 20'.

✧✧ You can wall-run at a dead sprint for 60', and can climb as quickly as you can walk.

✧✧✧ By now you're faster across vertical surfaces than horizontal ones. You may wall-run straight up, or in a loop, and you treat falls as being 30' shorter if it is possible to run down an adjacent wall
Cachaemia
✧ Spite and gallows-humor has built up in your blood. While injured, you may smear weapons and projectiles on your wounds to have them deal an extra point of poison damage on their next hit. Your friends can do this as well.

✧✧ Your blood is true poison now. 1 HP's worth of your blood deals 1d6 damage if ingested. Additionally, you are immune to most poisons and take half-damage from venomous monsters.

✧✧✧ When take slashing or piercing damage, your blood fumes out in noxious clouds. Adjacent creatures take 1d6 damage, or 1 damage on a successful save. Creatures which bite you take 2d6 damage without a save, and creatures which eat you die immediately. If you see an attack coming, you can designate nearby creatures to automatically pass their save.
Coiler's Flesh
✧ In strange rites you have tasted the blood of the Worm. You understand birds, though they don't like being understood by humans and fall silent if they know who you are.

✧✧ You can understand anything with feathers or scales, and speak to them in their own language. Conversation is now possible. Your dreams are filled with thoughts of treasure and violence.

✧✧✧ You can speak to metal and precious stones. Gold gossips, iron is racist, gems are dreamy and whisper of the past and the future. You may construct a hoard of at least 500 gp. The hoard is impossible to find until you are killed.
Swan Feathers
✧ Dagger Cultists know the secret art of ramie production. You can make garments (traditionally shirts, though it could be capes or trousers) out of wild nettles. It takes three days and 1 HP (taken from your maximum) to craft such a garment. The wearer may ignore gravity for thirty seconds a day, resetting at dawn.

✧✧ Your garments now count as leather without taking up any inventory space. The magic resets at dawn and dusk. Existing garments may be retooled with one day of work.

✧✧✧ Wearers have flight for sixty seconds which moves them as fast as they can run.
Tömösváry
✧ Delicate horns pierce the skin of your temples. You can sense movement within 20', making it impossible to surprise you while awake [unless it's a ghost or something, or an ambusher shoots you from farther than 20' (which is not unlikely)]

✧✧ The horns curl backwards like a ram's. You have a better sense of smell than a dog, and can see solid objects within 20' at any light level.

✧✧✧ The horns sprout razor-filaments which shudder in response to light and motion. You know the HP total of every living thing within 20', and can hear physiological changes when they are lying or afraid.

Thugs Guild

The most noble seal of the Thugs' Guild. Accept no substitutes.

Those who do it for a living. "Thieves Guilds" are a bit of a stupid idea, aren't they? Why would criminals form a guild of all things? What, do they offer one another insurance? Is there a pension for thieves who are too old to steal? What sort of incentive do they have to not rat one another out immediately for rewards and favors from Johnny Law?
Now, a Thugs Guild, that makes a lot of sense. There are a thousand reasons why a legitimate businessman might need to hire the services of Rudy (two meters tall, cornrows, wrap-around green shades, dual-wields nunchucks) and Boris (two meters tall, ginger fuzz, big raggedy scar over his eye, carries a baseball bat everywhere he goes). Consider the club bouncer, the bank security guard, the anti-shoplifting squad — plenty of honest work out there for the hench among us.

And Rudy and Boris have a lot of reasons to unionize. It seems if they aren't being kicked in the teeth by Angelina Jolie then they're being tossed out of helicopters by Daniel Craig. That's dangerous work, often non-OSHA compliant, with minimal benefits (unless you really enjoy being abused by Daniel Craig or Angelina Jolie). Thus: the Thugs Guild.

Skills: 1. Intelligent Conversation 2. Tying People Up 3. Getting Da Boss Coffee. You can wear medium armor and are proficient with one-handed guns and blades.

Starting Equipment: a card and a pin indicating Guild membership, a standard-issue blunt object (1d6, ⅓ slot), half a dozen tallboys (1 slot), a pack of menthols and a lighter.

Swagger
✧ Your training has given you a distinctive way of moving. If you choose, shopkeepers, street urchins and other minor NPCs immediately recognize you as someone who could beat them up. Morale rolls are made with a penalty equal to the difference between your level and the NPC's HD (minimum -0).
✧✧ When you intimidate an NPC, they get a penalty to their morale roll equal to how many of the following things are true:
- You broke something of theirs in front of them.
- You mentioned a specific, non-obvious fact about them (full name, address, favorite food, a sibling they care about, &c) (stacks up to -4)
- You came up with a good in-character threat.
- You confronted them somewhere they thought was safe (their shop, their home, their parent's funeral).
✧✧✧ You can intimidate anything which can understand your threats. You could bop a dragon on the shin and say "eeeeeehhh nice pile of treasure you got here, be a shame if something happened to it" and they would have to make a morale check. Dragons have very, very high morale scores, but they still have to make the check.
Friends in Low Places
✧ You have 1d6 guild contacts in the underworld. They keep you updated of the gossip in the streets. Possible services include:
- Fence for you to sell contraband.
- Dealer for you to buy contraband.
- Information Broker who can swap secrets.
- Capo who can rent you soldiers.
- Robber who needs another hand for a job.
- Gentleman-Burglar who can be hired to steal specific things for you.
If you move to a different area, it takes you a week to find another 1d6 contacts.
Additionally you know Thieves Sign, which is impressive for someone with such big ugly sausage fingers.
✧✧ You have every common contact, and if you bring a letter of recommendation to a new city you can rebuild your network in an afternoon. If you ask around, 1d6 thugs will follow you on a job for a share of the loot. They have one rank in Exotic Proficiency and skip if they think you are screwing them over.
✧✧✧ You can communicate with Thieves Sign with eye contact and blinking, even if your hands are full. Rats, cats, pigeons and possums are willing to negotiate with you — they can be your spies or your thieves in return for food and minor favors.
You can have a pet rat if you want. Roll on the following table for its name:
1. Squeaks
2. Sunny
3. Reginald
4. Garfield
5. Schmendrick
6. Fido
7. Marcus
8. Doris
9. Rags
10. Oswald
11. Adorabelle
12. Draco
Optimized Looting
✧ When you take ten minutes to search a room, you can choose to search it very thoroughly (heh heh). This is a loud process and will alert anyone else in the building or cause an immediate wandering monster encounter. At the end of this thorough search, you will have discovered every secret door, revealed every trap, and piled up anything even vaguely saleable in a heap on the floor.

✧✧ You are a skilled appraiser, and can tell the approximate value (well within a magnitude) and the historical/geographical provenance of items and architecture on sight. You can smash priceless-but-intractable works of art into manageable chunks in such a way that they can still be sold for ¼ their value.

✧✧✧ You are a master appraiser, to the point of identifying individual works and artists on sight. Magical swords will talk to you even if they normally wouldn't. You know the value of mundane objects to within the nearest 5 gp, and can predict the value of magical items (contingent on your understanding of the magical effects).
Impress Da Boss
✧ If you rolled lower than 10 on a strength-related check outside of combat — that is, to move an object, bend a bar, lift a gate or something along those lines — you rolled a 10 instead.

✧✧ You have a bag of tricks which can occupy up to 6 slots of inventory. You can pull a mundane one- or two-slot item out of the bag at any time, which then occupies those slots. The bag can be refilled in town with 5 gp of actual money and two hours of theft.

✧✧✧ If you can lift something, you can carry it indefinitely. Ignore encumbrance penalties. When people ask "isn't that heavy?" you must grunt and say "not really".
That Didn't Hurt
✧ You have two hector points (hP). These represent your ability to ignore karate-kicks and blows to the head. When you take damage from a physical attack, your hP soak it first. You get a single hP back every time you intimidate an enemy into fleeing or reduce a target to 0 HP.

✧✧ You have four hP. They now soak damage from poison, fire, falling and magic. You can regain a point by getting drunk or destroying 5 gp of furniture.

✧✧✧ You have six hP. You can sacrifice one in combat to roll an attack with advantage. If you take a hit at full hP which overflows, ignore the overflow damage.
Exotic Proficiency
✧ Pick a weapon which would be stupid and impractical for an urban setting (an urumi, a three-foot boomerang, a sledgehammer, a pair of nunchucks, a pair of tiger claws). You are proficient with that weapon as a fighter, and get +1 to-hit while using it.

✧✧ When making an attack with advantage using your stupid weapon, if both attack rolls succeed you hit twice. You also have +1 damage with the stupid weapon.

✧✧✧ Negotiate a special effect for your stupid weapon. An urumi might ignore shields, a missed boomerang might get a second chance to hit on its way back the next round, a pair of nunchucks might tangle enemy weapons. Something cool and intimidating. You get +2 to-hit and damage with the stupid weapon.

Preppies

Source: Thief GI cover by I-GUYJIN-I

Those who rob for sport. Some are gentlemen-burglars, too proud to work (think A. J. Raffles and Mssr. Flambeau). Some are professionals with complicated reasons and justifications (Carmen Sandiego and Arsène Lupin). Some are rich kids bored with their lives of leisure. A few are just total shitheads.

Skills: 1. Dance 2. History 3. Gamesmanship. You can use shields and are proficient with rapiers, pistols, broadswords and shortbows.

Starting Equipment: An extra-large wallet, a domino mask, a nice suit (as unarmored, +1 reaction) and twenty calling cards with your name [design your own in Photoshop (or Paint)!].

Idol Rich
✧ Everyone knows you come from good stock. Your calling cards count as invitations to the best parties in any city they are recognized, and your extensive balleto training lets you run across any structure which can hold your weight.

✧✧ A week of fraternizing gets you 1d6 contacts in the upper class. They give you accurate rumors and might let you borrow their yacht. Your calling cards can get you out of minor punishment (for crimes such as parking violations, trespassing, public drunkenness) with a minimum of embarrassment.

✧✧✧ Once per city, your calling cards can get you out of a death sentence (for crimes such as murder, kidnapping, blasphemy). You will be quietly escorted to the city limits and asked to never return. Your rich friends will think this is hilarious, unless the crime was against the upper class.
Fancy
✧ High Fashion (as unarmored, +1 reaction) counts as leather for you. No one ever thinks it is strange that you are dressed in High Fashion.

✧✧ Your reaction bonus is trebled if your party members are also wearing High Fashion. When you take a hit, you may sunder your fancy clothing. The outfit is ruined, but incoming damage is reduced by a d12.

✧✧✧ Given half an hour and a knife you can turn any set of clothing into particularly daring High Fashion. Careful; you might start a new trend.
Amateur Cracksman
✧ It's more fun if they never even knew you were there. Dark clothing and dance shoes give you a +2 bonus to sneak attempts. You have a 3-in-6 chance of picking a common lock in ten minutes (2-in-6 for something more secure, 1-in-6 for a safe or the like). Your jump distance is doubled..

✧✧ Odd how they never think to look behind them, or up. You can silently follow a lone creature for as long as you want. You don't need to roll to climb anything a normal person could climb with a roll, and your lock-picking attempts are improved by 2-in-6.

✧✧✧ When you step into a shadow, you leave the scene. Reenter from another shadow when you feel like it. This trick can take you unseen to anywhere, unless it would be literally impossible (the dimensional portal is well-lit and watched by Argus, the wizard teleported to the bottom of a volcano 1,000 miles away, or something else truly absurd). It might be more sporting if you started leaving your calling cards.
Real Professor
✧ You've learned the hard lessons of the street. Quite literally — the Thugs Guild holds workshops down at the community center. Refreshments are provided (bagels and lemonade). When striking an unsuspecting target with a blunt object, you may forego damage to knock them prone and dazed for 1d6 rounds. You have a friend in a low place of your choice (except for the burglar, because that's you).
✧✧ Did you know the Thugs Guild offers a subscription service as well? It's true! Before a job, you can scare up 1d6 Thugs with one rank in Exotic Proficiency. They will each demand a share. If you lose a Thug, the Guild will expect a reimbursement of 100 gp. You can't get out of this penalty without skipping town entirely. Even you aren't more powerful than unionization.
Roll to determine your thug's name:
1. Klaus
2. "Bubba"
3. Big John
4. Natasha
5. Cash
6. Rolf
7. Maurice
8. Gator
9. Boris
10. Crusher
11. Nickie
12. The Ethnonym
✧✧✧ In recognition of the friendship between you and Thugs everywhere, the Guild has put your name on a little board in their meeting hall. There's even a really ugly bronze statue of you on a park bench somewhere. You can flash your calling cards to get in to the back room of any casino or unsavory club, and you can reach any common friend in a low place within twenty-four hours. Various criminal elements recognize you as a patron of the Art. You can depend on their friendship and silence.
Daddy's Money
✧ When you gain this skill, your parents send you a check for 50 gp. If you plan out a job at least a day in advance then you already own the mundane supplies — we've got people for that, you know.

✧✧ Your calling cards can be offered as promissories to automatically bribe doormen, revenuers and border patrol. This also works on 4-in-6 actual cops and 3-in-6 actual minor officials (judges, secretaries of politicians, bureaucratic functionaries).

✧✧✧ Your parents and any elder siblings have died in a tragic yachting accident at the family ski lodge. You immediately receive 1,000 gp, an estate in the city, an estate in the country, a yacht, a ski lodge, a crypt, 15,000 gp in gambling arrears and whatever grudges or favors your family is owed.
Decadence
✧ The family library is extensive, and contains a few elder tomes of hideous secrets. You can cause one of the following effects with a whispered word:
- Shatter a fragile glass object, like a cup, mirror or window.
- Snuff a small fire, like a match, candle or lamp.
- Kill a small creature, like a spider, mouse or canary.
- Force a sensation on a person, like a rotting stink, a flash-paper light or the sound of loud whispers.
When you use a hideous secret, roll an intelligence save or take a point of damage.
✧✧ When you gain this rank, you lose 3 points from Charisma or Wisdom. You can see in dim light as easily as direct sunlight. You know the names and faces of 1d6 of them, which allow you access to all sorts of exciting clubs and secret parties. Gain an MD and a spell of your choice.

✧✧✧ When you gain this rank, you lose 3 points from Charisma and Wisdom. They have noticed you and your meddling. Gain a mutation, another spell, and an additional MD. You might need to wear a mask in public now.

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Blessed Even More (GLOG Classes: Clerics)

The Masked Clerics are the successors to Aeshe the Great Sage, and therefore successors to the g_ds themselves. They travel the world beating back evil and bringing light to strange pagan nations. Their masks are constant symbols of their unshakeable faith and unbreakable vows.

But why do clerics wear masks? It's a valid question. The non-answer is "if they aren't wearing masks they can't cast spells". But why is that? And why these very specific images? One of the great mysteries of the world, I suppose. Maybe there's somewhere you could go to try and find answers.

Imagine these gentlemen, but not necessarily gentlemen and they're all wearing silly masks. Source: Wikimedia

Glog Class: Masked Cleric

You are a Cleric Errant, one who wears a holy mask and commands the servants of the g_ds. A brave campaigner against Chaos. Usually.

Each order of masked clerics has its own set of tenets, which you must follow or face Doom. In exchange for following these tenets, you have access to angels who can be commanded with Mercy Dice. It's very similar to casting spells with Magic Dice, except it's called something different.

You never fumble when wielding staves or knives, and can wear light armor. Your order may give you other proficiencies.

Skills: 1. Book-Keeping 2. Public Speaking 3. Archaeology

Starting Equipment: A porcelain mask indicating your order (can be remade for 10 gp if lost), robes from the same order, a walking staff (medium), a shortsword or a mace (light) and one other sacramental.

A: Ordained, Holy Mask, +1 MD
B: Prayer, +1 MD
C: Friends with an Angel, +1 MD
D: Monsignor, +1 MD

Perk: If you perform a three-hour ritual, you may direct an angel with one additional MD. This only takes one hour on Hallowed ground.

Drawback: Your power is tied to the oaths of your mask. While wearing it, you must follow the tenets of your order. Breaking the minor tenets while wearing the mask causes an immediate mishap. Breaking your major tenet is an immediate Doom, whether or not you are wearing your mask.

Cantrips

You can choose to accompany your angels with the smell of incense, a pleasant yellow glow, the sound of musical chimes or any combination of these.
You can tell how long a body has been dead for at a glance. This is less of a supernatural effect and more a necessary part of the job.
You can always see angels and other spirits. If you are wearing your mask they can see you as well. In the same way Wizards can detect arcana, you can detect the influence of the supernal, in the form of curses, hatred and the blight of Chaos.

Ordained
You are a member of a specific social class. People will make assumptions about you and your behavior. They will support you or oppose you based on the mask of your order.

Holy Mask

Choose the Infant, the Skull, or the Elder. You are a White Mask, Black Mask or Purple Mask Cleric respectively. You are familiar with two angels from your sect's list; one is Hallow and the other is determined by rolling a d8. You may direct these angels by rolling your MD. If you are achieving a victory for the main tenet of your order, roll another MD which is not counted for mishaps or dooms. Up to your level of angels accompany you in your travels. If you are familiar with more (which you immediately are at first level), you can swap them out with an hour of prayerful meditation. You may encounter other angels on your journeys, and they may join you.
Every morning, decide whether or not to put on your mask. If you do, failing any of the minor tenets of your order leads to an immediate mishap. If you don't, you cannot direct your angels. Taking the mask off before the end of the day leads to a mishap. Putting the mask on later is fine but you won't recover MD until the next morning.

Prayer
Once per day, unnerved, unbalanced and at the end of your rope, you can beg for a divine favor. You have a 1-in-6 chance of receiving a single MD and an angel which you are expected to command immediately. Your chances go up by 1-in-6 if you have expended all your MD, if you are injured, or if you have been wearing your mask since morning (these stack). G_d doesn't care about spell lists and might send anything.

Friends with an Angel

Choose an angel you are familiar with; she follows you without counting towards your limit. This is pretty cool and NPCs will react accordingly. When commanding this angel, your MD exhaust only on a 5 or 6.

Monsignor

    Your actions have been recognized by your Church. It is likely you will be canonized upon death. If you are a member of the White Masks, you no longer answer to your superiors, and are given a few initiates (perhaps 2d6) of your own to take under your wing and train.
    If you are a member of the Black Masks, you will be assigned a high-ranking assassin who will follow you around and kill you if you fall to Chaos. They are a fourth-level Sword-Shepherd trained in the Sacerd style.
    If you wear the Purple Mask, your exploits have earned you a following of disciples (perhaps 1d6) who are eager to learn from and argue with you. You could start a monastery if you wanted.

Masks, Tenets, Angels

The White Mask; the Infant

The White Masks are the largest sect of religious (as in non-secular) clerics. Members of this sect wear black robes and the eponymous white masks which depict the face of an infant, to remind the world of the importance of innocence and humility.

Tenets of the White Mask:

Do not, through action or inaction, allow an innocent to come to harm. Ignore all other tenets if they would interfere with this, your most important goal.
In all things, obey your superiors in the Church without breaking the first tenet.
Do not initiate violence, except when directed by a valid authority.
Do not touch or interact with corpses, except as necessary for your clerical duties.
Do not touch or carry bladed implements, except as necessary for your clerical duties.

As a rule of thumb, an "innocent" is anyone with less than 1 HD who isn't trying to fight. Initating violence means to cause initiatives to be rolled, to cast a damaging spell or to make an attack. Rations made from meat are corpses. Arrows are bladed implements. Shovels are bladed implements, but digging a grave is often a necessary clerical duty.

The first White Mask Cleric was also the first disciple of the Great Sage after His ordeals. Thus, the angels of the White Masks are among the most highly revered. Their clerics are proficient with maces and hammers.

Hallow
R: 30*[dice]' T: a valid square area at most 30*[dice]' to a side, or [dice] corpses D: [dice]*12 hours.
This must be performed as a ritual.
A valid area has four solid corners and something to serve as an altar. In a pinch, four piles of rocks and a dead horse will do. If Hallow is consistently applied to an area for fifty days, it is permanently Hallowed.
Anything cast in a Hallowed area is a ritual. Demons and elfs will not enter without provocation.
Target corpses will not rise from the dead. They cannot be resurrected by any force weaker than your Hallow.
Heal
R: Touch T: an injured person D: immediate.
The target is healed for [sum] HP. If you invest more [dice] you can choose to forego the healing for a different benefit:
If two [dice] are invested, this is a Lesser Restore, which can close a flesh wound or knit a broken bone.
If three [dice] are invested, this is a Restoration, which can reform mangled body parts or cure a disease.
Four [dice] invested result in a Greater Restore which can reattach a recently-severed limb or regrow fingers and toes.
Casting with five [dice] makes this a Miracle, which can regrow essential organs or missing limbs, and can cure any number of diseases.
Turn
R: 20*[dice]' T: [sum] enemies of fewer than [dice] HD D: up to [dice] hours.
Targets within range are compelled to flee your presence. Intelligent creatures get a save to resist; unintelligent undead do not. Intelligent creatures are also smart enough to take potshots at the cleric from beyond the range. If you take any damage the Turning immediately ends.
If you invest three [dice] or more, obliterate [dice] undead within range, starting from the weakest.
Hold
R: 30' T: a door, rope, creature or other movable thing. D: [sum] rounds.
The target is grappled (or held in place) by an angel. The angel is as strong as an adult human with 12 + ([dice]*3) Strength, a good grip, and a firm place to stand.
Kindle
R: reach T: a creature or object struck by your weapon D: instant
Make an attack against the target with +[dice] to-hit. If the attack hits, target takes an additional [sum] points of fire damage without a save. Inanimate objects are hit automatically.
Bless
R: 50*[dice]' T: [sum] creatures within range D: [dice] hours
Scream, pray and prophesy as loud as you can while holding your hands above your head. If you have a staff or a sword you should be holding it. While you are doing this all targets within range get a [dice] bonus to every d20 roll they make.
The effect ends immediately if you take damage or if you drop your hands. A CON check every few minutes would be appropriate.
Haircloth and Ashes
R: shouting distance T: an intelligent creature with HD equal to or HIGHER than [dice] D: [dice] rounds
You make a complex theological argument describing the target's many sins. At the end of the duration, compare the [sum] to the target's HP. If [sum] is higher, the target abandons their worldly life and leaves forever.
If you take damage while making the argument, the casting fails and your MD are lost. The target is likely to attack you unless of a highly religious bent.
Summon Scavengers
R: 300' T: a point within range D: [dice] hours
[sum] HD worth of wild animals will swarm the target and attempt to consume it. With one [die], this is mostly insects which will eat unguarded food. With two, this will include rodents and other small vermin, who may attack people in the area. Three [dice] will summon flocks of scavenger birds, and four will summon foxes, raccoons and wild dogs. Stories of powerful clerics summoning 1d100 bears are likely apocryphal.
Deluge
R: [dice] miles T: a circular area centered on you D: [dice] days
The target area receives heavy rain. If cast with one [die], clouds gather over the course of [least] days, to steadily rain on the target area for the duration. If cast with two, clouds hurry to the area on sudden winds over [least] hours. If cast with three, the clouds are visibly dragged across the sky within [least] minutes. Casting with four [dice] will cause you to vomit out dark storm clouds which form immediately, and the duration is extended to [sum] days.
Raise
You touch a corpse and return it to some form of life.
If one [die] is invested, this is called Question Dead and must be cast on a corpse dead for fewer than 24 hours. The corpse will answer [sum] yes-or-no questions you ask it. They are under no obligations, but will usually be friendly..
If two [dice] are invested, this is Speak with Dead and must be cast on a corpse dead for fewer than five days. The corpse returns to life for [sum] rounds and can hold a conversation with you. They are under no obligations, and may attack if hostile (if you receive damage the effects end immediately).
If three [dice] are invested, this is Raise Dead and must be cast on a corpse dead for less than a month. The corpse returns to life for [sum]*2 hours. They may have suffered some ability-score damage from decay, but otherwise are completely functional.
If four dice are invested, this is Resurrection and must be cast on a corpse dead for less than a year. The corpse returns to life for [sum] days. Decay is halted, memories are retained, and the spell may be cast again when the duration is up. Life, in some form, continues.
Five [dice] would make this spell a True Resurrection. In theory this would return someone to true life; in practice the risks are too high to make the casting practical, and it is illegal anyway (what would the Emperor do if someone raised his grandfather from the dead?)

The Black Mask; the Skull

The Black Masks are the most widespread and adventurous sect. Members of this sect wear white robes and the eponymous black masks depicting a skull, to remind the world of mortality and the surety of Judgment. Their clerics can use medium armor and shields, and are proficient in one-handed guns or swords.

Tenets of the Black Mask:

Do not, through action or inaction, allow a guilty person to escape justice. Ignore all other tenets if they would interfere with this, your most important goal.
Do not, through spoken or written word, through action or implication, lie. Go out of your way to correct misunderstandings, unless doing so might break the first tenet.
Distrust every other cleric and every member of every hierarchy. When in doubt, assume enemy action.
Carry no more money, food or equipment than you need. Any wealth you have in excess must be given to the Church.
Ignore rules of etiquette. Be brusque and straightforward, and do not make smalltalk.

As a rule of thumb, to "escape justice" means to be able and willing to repeat whatever crimes got them in trouble in the first place. Punishment is usually at your discretion. If an execution would be wildly inappropriate (and not merely excessive), then they probably don't count as a "guilty person". Wealth donated to the Church counts for carousing XP. "Banal politeness" really depends on the situation.

Hallow
As a White Mask.
Heal
Turn
Kindle
Bless
Glory
R: n/a T: self D: [dice] hours
Your head is lit with a halo of divine radiance. For the duration, you are noticeably more attractive. The halo casts brilliant daylight out to [best]*10', and hirelings and party members get a +[dice] bonus to morale rolls and saves against Fear.
Iconoclasm
R: shouting distance T: a solid object or structure D: instant
An invisible angel applies sudden sharp force to an inanimate target within range. The strength of this force depends on the number of [dice] you invest; a single [die] is like a blow of a hammer (shattering a household idol or destroying a painting), two [dice] is as effective as two people with tools (knocking over a man-sized idol, smashing open a locked door or chest), three [dice] can do the work of ten men with pulleys and levers (toppling a 20-foot statue, collapsing a wooden building), four [dice] are worth a dozen workmen and a full day (collapsing a stone building, shattering half an acre of woodland). This effect is immediate and must be accompanied with a loud cry.
Demagogy
R: n/a T: self D: [dice] minutes
Your voice is supernaturally amplified. You speak like a crowd of [best]*[dice] men, women and children. Intelligent beings with fewer HD than [dice] must save to disbelieve anything you tell them. Animals will flee. Monsters will be attracted.
Dispel
R: touch T: a supernatural object or an area with a magical effect D: instant
Lightning wreaths your hand. When you touch the target, its magic is undone if weaker than or equal to your Dispel. If stronger, make a save with a penalty equal to the difference in MD or level of caster (depending on the effect). If you fail a save against a more powerful spell, take [dice] damage. Some magical items will be destroyed, others rendered mundane, and some may regain their power as time passes or on certain events.
Pillar
R: 30' T: a cylindrical volume [dice]*5' in radius and [dice]*20' high D: [dice] minutes
The target volume is filled with a roaring whirlwind for the duration. Unsecured objects will be thrown around, and ranged attacks (made from, directed into or passing through) automatically miss. Flying creatures will take 1d6 damage every round from flying debris.
On their turn, you may choose to move the the pillar 60' in any direction. The mass of rushing garbage deals [dice] damage to unarmored creatures it passes over, no save.

The Purple Mask; the Elder

Purple Heresy is widespread in the bitter South. Their clerics wear a purple mask which resembles an old man grinning broadly. This imagery is religiously significant in some important way. If you ask what significance it has, the Purple Heretics laugh and call you stupid. Their clerics can use shields and are proficient with rifles.

Tenets of the Purple Masks:

Do not, through action or inaction, allow error to be taught. Use fire if necessary. Ignore all other tenets if they would interfere with this, your most important goal.
Do not share information with the unworthy or those who would misuse it.
Seek out ancient tomes and ruins; do not allow information to be lost or forgotten.
Correct those who are under false impressions, unless this would interfere with the second tenet.
Accumulate libraries and stores of secret information, unless this would break the third tenet.

A bishop who preaches (or a book which states) that Aeshe died a martyr is "teaching error", a farmer who thinks disease is spread by miasma is not. Authority to teach is the key element, not the nature of the error. Most PCs are unworthy unless strictly necessary. Remember; it's easy to give away a secret, but taking it back costs blood. Err on the side of caution. Stealing from another cleric's secret archive is bad form, but copying isn't stealing even if they get really mad at you.

Hallow
As a White Mask.
Turn
Kindle
Message
R: [dice]*5 miles T: a person you know the name of D: immediate
Sends a message of [sum] words or fewer to a person you know. You can choose to have this happen immediately, or at some point within the next 24 hours. Waking targets perceive the message being shouted at them by many voices. Sleeping targets perceive an angel reading from a scroll in a dream.
Guide Eyes
R: [dice]*30' T: [sum] creatures D: [dice] minutes
Targets save or find their eyes drawn inexorably towards a point or direction you designate. If this is behind them, they may choose between turning around or closing their eyes.
Ghost Form
R: 5' T: self D: [dice] minutes
You create a duplicate of yourself which disappears after taking any damage. Mundane equipment is copied for the duration. At the end of the duration, or when the duplicate is destroyed, its memories return to you. You may, at any time, destroy the duplicate and immediately move to its location.
Literal Translation
R: touch T: physical text or images D: [dice] minutes
Pass your hands over the target as you cast this spell. Words will be reformed in an approximation of their original meaning. You can do this on paintings and sculptures as well, and the angel will do her best to reshape the art in a way that gives you more context. Angels do not necessarily understand complex language, figures of speech, artistic liberties or very subtle symbolism. The target returns to its original form at the end of the duration.
Deserving Truth
R: touch T: n/a D: permanent
You trace burning sigils on a surface, such as a wall or a piece of paper. These sigils deal [sum] damage to humans, beasts, monsters, ghosts, undead, angels, devils or any other creature which can see and understand them. They may save to take [dice] damage instead. Damaging the surface ends the effect.
Eye of Eyes
R: n/a T: a person, place or thing you can name and could pick out of a lineup D: [dice] minutes
You summon an angel whose eyes you can perceive through at-will. She flies towards the target at one-hundred and twenty miles an hour, then hovers close to it until the duration ends.
For every MD invested past the first, add one of these effects: sense of hearing, senses of touch and taste and smell, directing the angel to examine the environment, detecting supernal influences, speaking with the angel's voice.
There are some things in the world you do not want to examine too closely — things like cursed artifacts, the stars, whatever hides behind another cleric's mask. Be careful.
Nowhere
R: 5' T: a space seven feet long and three feet wide D: [dice] minutes
A coffin appears in the target space. It is large enough to contain a person, or 7 slots of inventory space, and disappears at the end of the duration. It is always the same coffin.
If your coffin is damaged or stolen, you will have to apply for a new one from the angels. And for heaven's sake, don't let it vanish with living things inside!

Mishaps of the Masked Cleric:

Sprained soul. Your dice return to your pool only on a result of 1 or 2 for 24 hours. If this is the result of breaking a tenet, instead dice will not return to your pool for 24 hours.
Flashpoint. The casting produces a burst of painful holy light. Your angels panic and are blinded for 24 hours, reducing all casting ranges to touch.
Hypermobility. Take d6 damage, adding the result to [sum]. If this is the result of breaking a tenet, instead roll a Mishap with every casting for the next 24 hours.
The angel leaves in a huff, and cannot be contacted for 24 hours. Other angels will be snippy with you. If this is the result of breaking a tenet, a random angel (besides your Friend) leaves.
Ripple effect. All undead within 10 miles are alerted to your location.
Bearing overload. Flammable clothing catches. Lose your sense of taste, smell and touch for 24 hours.

Dooms of the Masked Cleric:

Your mind breaks and Chaos flows in like molten lead. The cleric is under the control of the DM for one hour. Their new personality exists in the overlap between Dick Dastardly, Pol Pot and a middle-school bully. They are not necessarily hostile towards the party, but they are likely hostile towards the party's goals, and may need to be restrained.
The same as the above but the affliction lasts for 24 hours.
Permanent loss of control. The cleric flees into the night a depraved wretch whose only delight is carnage and misery. If you were a Monsignor, that "whoosh" you heard was your chance of canonization going flying off.

You can avoid this gruesome fate by truly Resurrecting a great hero, by putting a priest of Chaos to rest, or by recovering a lost page of the Magolg par artenbrar.

Sacramentals

Gold-plated Mace. A medium weapon which deals full damage to the undead. Expensive to replace. 1 slot.
Bottle of Holy Water. Splash this on an undead for 1d6 damage, or on random people in the street in case they are devils. Three doses. You can make another bottle with blessed salt, an MD and a ritual (blessing the salt is also a ritual but a sack of that stuff lasts a long time). ⅓ slot.
Bottle of Blessed Chrism. Can be splashed on undead like holy water, or you can insert a wick and use it like a blessed lamp. In olden days this was a mix of olive oil and balm-of-gilead; now it's just the oil. ⅓ slot.
10 Beeswax Candles. Nice modern wicks. Shed 10' of light for half an hour. 1 slot altogether.
100' of Silk Rope. Very high-quality stuff. 1 slot.
Crosier. A T-shaped bronze head on a medium staff. For some reason, angels out in the wild respond well to it. 1 slot.
Ribbon. Twenty feet of it, in the color of your choice. Delightful.
Bone Shoebuckles. Heavy iron things filled with pieces of saints (not necessarily the bones). Your footprints can be tracked with supernal-sight, and you can kick down weak Wizard Locks (or similar spells) as if they weren't there.
Snakeskin Belt. Fashionable. If thrown into a fire, emerges as an immense, fireproof 4 HD viper. It is not loyal or grateful. Its skin can be made into another belt.
Blessed Gun. A normal snapchance (2d6 damage, full minute to reload, -1 to-hit every 10' of range), but it has been blessed. Glows faintly in total darkness. 1 slot.
Horn of Red Powder. Weaker than black powder; guns loaded with it deal 2 points of damage fewer. Red powder catches even if soaking wet, produces no smoke and explodes almost silently. The muzzle flash is lurid red and much brighter than that of normal powder. Ten doses. 2 slots.
Orthodox Holy Book. Contains information about Aeshe, his torture, and what his disciples taught. Hearing this read gives hirelines and party members +1 to morale rolls and saves against Fear. ⅓ slot.
Less Orthodox Holy Book. Contains information about Aeshe's death and the early days of the Church. There's a map scrawled over one of the pages. You need a good reason to own something like this. ⅓ slot.
Very Irregular Holy Book. Contains speculation about Aeshe, his disciples, and their relation to the g_ds. This might be the last copy in the world. You do not have a good enough reason to own it. ⅓ slot.
Calligraphy Set. Pens, brushes, inks, nice paper. Doesn't make you a better writer but it makes you the best writer you can be. 1 slot.
A drawing of the face of G_d. You (yes you, the player) have to actually draw this. Whatever you draw is your character's take.
Fake Mask. Looks just like another sect's mask. You could have a lot of fun with this (and all of it would be illegal). ⅓ slot.
Sacral Mirror. Reflects more than just light. Allows you to see yourself with supernal-sight or to peer around corners. ⅓ slot.
PLACE NO BETS. A handsome heavy weapon, with a squared-off blade and a holy symbol on his pommel. Remembers a lot of folklore and likes to tell stories around the campfire. He also likes to cut the heads off of criminals. 2 slots.
An oddity. Roll 1d6:
1. A small pair of golden scissors. Their edge never dulls.
2. A diamond-studded ring in a rococo style. "Eats" fires when you stick your hand in them, and can light kindling with a snap of your fingers.
3. A ram's horn, polished smooth. Blowing it produces a male chorus singing about the end of the world.
4. A briar pipe and a few ounces of high-quality tobacco.
5. A pair of green sunglasses. Canines (including werewolves) are invisible to you while you wear them.
6. A map to the site of several lost treasures of the Green Heretics. They will pay you 20 gp for it. Their rivals will pay you 30.

Good luck.

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