In the Garden of the Saint (October 5th)

    The fifth GLOGtober theme: maps. Here's a couple of maps for the Horizon Walkers to die in. They belong to a large man who does not like to make deals.

Cosmic Fortress of the King of the Universes

 

    This is the home of Saint Jonathon, sometimes Sin Dagon to his subjects, or Sanxoniatho, or Sun Aesh Ajax, or Yhn-Aten, or Imun G_d, or whatever title their mouthparts can cry out as they bow low and give homage. 

Saint Jonathon
40HD (140HP) Human Demigod, AC perfect (requires critical), morale 13
1d8+4 unarmed blows.
INESCAPABLE: The Saint walks faster than you run. He can jump 100' at a time.
INSTANT: The Saint may choose to succeed reflex-related saves.
INEXORABLE: The Saint's criticals vaporize and disperse his targets.
INDOMITABLE: If the Saint's result on a strength-related roll is less than 20, it is 20 instead.
FRENZIED: On the Saint's turn in combat, he makes an attack with each hand and one of his feet.
STUNNING: If a strike would kill his target, the Saint may choose to paralyze them instead.
EVASIVE: The Saint takes half damage from explosions and spells.
PURE: The Saint is immune to disease and poison.
TRANQUIL: The Saint regenerates all HP after 5 minutes of undisturbed meditation.
TONGUE OF THE SUN AND MOON: The Saint understands and speaks all languages.

    Are you here to steal something from Jonathon? Did you arrive by accident? Perhaps you are trying to rescue someone? Or deliver a letter? Regardless, you should step quietly in his halls. He can be irritable.

Arngrim
2HD (10HP) Human Fighter, AC 12, Morale 10
1d6+2 cut-and-thruster.
BERSERKER: The first time he takes damage, Arngrim enters a rage. While raging he does not roll morale and takes half damage from all sources.
GARDENER: Arngrim knows all there is to know about the exotic plants of the Saint's garden. He also keeps a small vegetable plot to feed himself and Meilod (the Saint no longer eats). If he were killed, much of the garden would wither: the Saint has a black thumb.

Meilod
2HD (7HP) Half-Elf Wizard, AC 10, Morale 7
Spells: Light, Magic Eye, Illusory Terrain. 2 MD.
FUTUROLOGIST: By flipping coins, rolling dice, or drawing cards, Meilod can predict the degree of difficulty a plan will encounter. He can flip coins to receive "good/bad" forever, but dice stress him and tarot physically harms him.
LIGHTKEEPER: Meilod is responsible for the supernatural light which fills the Cosmic Fortress. He carries a runestone which lets him track and control light levels throughout the structure, and empowers his Light spells. If the stone were stolen, or Meilod were to die, the castle would be plunged into darkness. The Saint does not have darkvision.

Eyes and Nostrils Hotter than Hell (October 4th)

    The fourth GLOGtober theme: swirling rainbow vortices. An interdimensional portal looks like one of those (I think). 

Source: Horizon Walker by LuckyLeguan

 

Class: Horizon Walker

"Horizon Walkers guard the world against threats that originate from other planes or that seek to ravage the mortal realm with otherworldly magic. They seek out planar portals and keep watch over them, venturing to the Inner Planes and the Outer Planes as needed to pursue their foes. These rangers are also friends to any forces in the multiverse — especially benevolent dragons, fey, and elementals — that work to preserve life and the order of the planes."

    That's the official line, anyway. You are a ranger tasked with patrolling the planes and enforcing a cosmic Prime Directive, ensuring would-be Alexanders weep when they realize they can only conquer one.
    For every template you have in this class, you gain +1 sneak. If you have at least one template in this class you never fumble while using staves, knives, bows, or one-handed blades. You can wear both light and medium armor, and may use shields. 

Skills: 1. Endurance Running 2. Planar Mechanics 3. Counterintelligence

Starting Equipment: sturdy clothing (as leather), champagne saber (light), horn bow (see list below), another piece of planar gear of your choice.

• A Wide Ranging, Portal Hunter, +1 HP
  
• B Ethereal Step, +1 to-hit
  
• C Ethereal Hew, +1 HP
  
• D Ethereal Defense, Ethereal Prosecution, +1 AC
  

Wide Ranging
    Choose two of the following adjectives: barren, populated, abandoned, forested, frigid, windswept, arid, damp, craggy, dark, coastal, spooky. While in an area described by that adjective, you can light a fire (given tools, fuel, 60 local minutes and cooperative weather), find enough food for one person, follow tracks a local day old, and may protect one person from poor conditions.
    Every time you level up, select another adjective. Effects stack. Adjectives may be selected multiple times.
Portal Hunter
    Training has given you a special sense for holes in reality. You immediately know if  a new planar portal is opened within one mile. With an hour of meditation, you can sense the exact position of the nearest portal within one mile per level.
    If you focus on a visible enemy for a full combat turn (about six local seconds), your melee attacks against them deal force damage (fully effective against targets corporeal, incorporeal or entirely psychosomatic). If they leave your sight or one of you dies, you lose this focus.

Ethereal Step
    Taking a step parallel to all 10 normal dimensions places you in the Ethereal Plane. While in this state, you are invisible and lose all senses except 30' of monochrome vision. You may drift through solid objects, but if you are inside an object at the end of the step you shunt to the nearest unoccupied space and take force damage as if you had fallen twice the distance. The step lasts for about six local seconds (typically enough time to move 60' horizontally or 30' vertically).
    When you use this ability more than once per local day you have a cumulative 1-in-6 chance to fail to return. Those trapped in the Ethereal Plane age at 1/100th of local rate, and cannot be recovered with only stepping.

Ethereal Hew
    Bilocation is a common Planar power, but impressive nevertheless. When you attack an enemy you may simultaneously attack a different enemy within 60'. If the second attack connects and the first misses, you are now adjacent to the second enemy. If both connect you may choose your position.

Ethereal Defense
    What's better than being in two places simultaneously? Being in no places simultaneously. Once per combat round (about every six local seconds), you may blink in and out of the Ethereal Plane to ignore half of incoming damage. This does not count against your steps.
Ethereal Prosecution
    Rangers aren't actually part of the judicial branch, of course, but "Ethereal Prosecution" is a good name for a template.
    As a senior Horizon Walker you are empowered to make arrests of genies, devils, and other important members of planar society. You need at least some excuse to do this, and too many spurious arrests gets you in trouble with Interdimensional Affairs, but arrestees must make their planar court dates or face serious consequences.
    You may also request backup by saying aloud "I need backup". A pair of junior agents will materialize nearby within 1d6 minutes. They will return once you are somewhat safe. If you get them killed, Central will refuse to send you any more for 1d6 weeks per death. They are members of one or more of the following bizarre races:

1. Human
2. Snakewoman
3. Birdman
4. Big Squid
   
5. Half-Orc, Half-Elf
   
6. Obvious Werewolf
   
7. Paper Doll
   
8. Two Humans
   

Planar Gear

1. Sturdy Clothing. Soft leather, boiled leather, protects your important bits. 0 slots worn, 2 slots carried.
   
2. Champagne Saber. Works just as well as a real one. ⅓rd slot.
   
3. Horn Bow. Not designed to be used on foot. 1d6 damage at 10', -1 to-hit every 5' beyond that. ⅓rd slot.
   
4. Fancy Boots. Gleaming leather, curly toes, sharp hobnails. Protects you from the knees down. 1 slot.
   
5. Big Hat. Shades you from the sun(s) and impresses the locals.
   
6. Large box of Foreign Currency. Contains 50gp, 1d6 of which the people of this town will grudgingly accept. 1 slot.
   
7. Conceptual Map. Allows route-planning between spheres.
   
8. Clockwork Handbow. A great idea, but the technology just isn't there yet. 2d6 damage at 10', -1 to-hit every 5' beyond that. Explodes in a mess of wires and gears for 1d6 damage in 20' on a fumble. Fires steel darts, comes with a pack of 10. ⅓rd slot and 1 slot respectively.
   
9. Grapnel and 100' of silk rope. 1 slot each.
   
10. Chroma Glass. A scope which may be adjusted indefinitely to focus over the horizon. Takes about one local second for the focus to move one mile. Red light is lost in the transition. 1 slot.
    
11. Packet of Goop Pellets. Not sure what's in this gunk, but if you drop it into a portal the next thing to pass through will be painted blue. Three doses.
    
12. Coordinates Booklet. Includes the location of dozens of points of interest. Useful when setting up new portals. Do not allow this information to be captured. ⅓rd slot.
    
13. REJOINDER Device. Something like a kaleidoscope. Allows you to view secret messages left in the environment by other Rangers, if you know the settings they used to encode. ⅓rd slot.
    
14. Planar Sextant. Allows one to calculate local rate and proximity to a calibrated universal center (where you are and how fast you're going). ⅓rd slot.
    
15. Perfect Filter. Looks like a tobacco pipe, extracts all potable water from a substance inserted into the larger end.
    
16. Polymultitool. A heavy, complicated set of fold-out toolheads and spare handles. Six seconds of searching gives you a 1-in-6 chance of finding the specific mundane tool you are searching for. 3 slots.
    
17. Walking Flask. A sturdy medium walking stick with a concealable 1-liter flask in the head. 1 slot.
    
18. Inflatable Boat. Comes with a ripcord. 2' by 2' by 2' compressed, 20' by 20' by 4' expanded. 3 slots.
    
19. Three sticks of dynamite. ⅓rd slot each.
    
20. A strange or inexplicable curio. Roll 1d6 on the following list:
    
    1. A statue of a cricket. Makes cricket noises with impeccable comedic timing.
       
    2. Exotherm salt-shaker. One hearty shake converts a liter of water to ice. 10 doses.
       
    3. Transitive Opera Glasses. One lens is red, the other blue. When used, you see from their focal point as if you were standing there. ⅓rd slot
       
    4. Crowd-Patterned Poncho. Looks very strange when standing alone. Blends seamlessly into a crowd.
       
    5. Sack of cosmic flour. Baked goods prepared from this flour are alive and sentient. Enough for a dozen cookies or one medium cake. 1 slot.
       
    6. Hell's Eye. A large silvery diamond with a starburst flaw. Critical attacks against the wearer slay them instantly in a manner that destroys their face and other defining features, no matter how bizarre or unlikely that result is.
       

Tricky Wizards (The Sage Expansion Pack)

This is an expansion pack for Squig's Sage. The Sage is one of my favorite GLOG classes, and I've been in an expansion pack mood.

Source: the Guildmaster by tsabo6

Further Wizardly Tricks:

1. Wind. Once per day, you can create a light breeze with a gesture or word that will blow until disrupted by stronger wind.
   
2. Brow. Your eyebrows stick out past the brim of your hat. When you furrow your brow, you remind nearby NPCs of the most intimidating old man they encountered in their childhood.
   
3. Step. While walking at normal speed you make no more sound than a cat. When no one is looking you take slightly too little time to cross distances on foot, almost as if you were sprinting the whole way... but that can't be right, since you're never out of breath.
   
4. Sleep. You can fall asleep in any situation where you are not taking HP damage. You always wake instantly, prepared for combat, and can be wakened by any suspicious noise.
   
5. Ripped. Underneath your wizard robe you're fucking jacked. Absolutely gleaming abs. Lats you can zest a lemon on. This has no effect on your ability scores.
   
6. Mirror. With a little spit and the cuff of your sleeve, you can polish any surface to reflectivity.
   
7. Slap. You can given anyone another save against ongoing magic effects by smacking them on the back of the head and barking at them to snap out of it.
   
8. Card. You are a master of legerdemain, and can entertain idiots and children indefinitely with a pack of cards, or three cups, or similar street corner bric-a-brac.
   
9. Feeble. By leaning on a staff and making your voice all croaky and whistly, you appear to be as old as your race can possibly get. Good-natured NPCs will hurry to assist you across streets, carry your bags, or open doors for you. This has no effect on your ability scores.
   
10. Herb. You can identify non-magical plants on sight, and can always think of a use for them.
    
11. Watch. You have a watch that always returns to your pockets if lost or damaged. It has the hour, minute and second hands, along with the trouble, the opportunity and the death hand.
    
12. Compass. You have a compass that always returns to your pockets if lost or damaged. It points in any direction you feel like, or if you press it to something can be commanded to always point to that object.
    
13. Pockets. Your pockets seem to always contain a bit of string, a fragment of chalk, a paperclip, an inch of wax crayon or other bits of office supplies when you need them.
    
14. Loupe. You have a jeweler's loupe (20x magnification) that always returns to your pockets if lost or damaged. If you examine someone's eyes (the windows to the soul) you can tell if they are suffering from a disease or a curse, and how many of each.
    
15. Tongue. You can identify enchanted objects and precious metals by taste.
    
16. Grey. In a natural environment, you are almost impossible to find while you hold still in the undergrowth. In an urban environment, you are almost impossible to tail while you are walking through a crowd.
    
17. Sword. You are as proficient with swords as an equivalent-level Fighting-Man.
    
18. Speech. You can slip coded messages into normal conversation which will be immediately understood by those you intend to understand.
    
19. Glance. If you lock eyes with another Wise one, you can communicate silently without language.
    
20. Substances. You never seem to suffer the negative consequences from consuming alcohol, tobacco, opium or other exciting things. You still have withdrawal symptoms when you go without.
    

Worse than Useless (October 3rd)

    I've done a post on swords with THREE WORD NAMES before, and I sure do like giving magic swords out as treasure. But not every blade is made the same. The theme for GLOGtober 3rd is "goblins" — so, tangentially, how about some terrible swords? 

Source: swords by LancierPilum

1. SOME NECESSARY PROBLEMS. She is a medium langmesser (+1) of pale and chardun. Her guard is four-part and too pointy to be safely carried in a normal sheath. SOME NECESSARY PROBLEMS requires double rations, and will loudly and constantly complain if this is not provided to her. She was recently stolen from an eccentric nobleman's collection, and abandoned by the side of the road by the thief. She knows his name, description, deepest fears and current destination, and wants him dead.
   
   
2. DEAD RISE NEVER. It is a medium longsword of bronte. Its hilt and guard are decorated with amber and gold leaf. Once held in the hand, it cannot be released until a priest temporarily dispels its curse. Hopefully you didn't pick it up with both hands (or by the blade) Currently waiting, innocently, in a pile of treasure.
   
   
3. GREAT SPEAR BLADE. She is a heavy jian (+1) of adamant. Her blade is much thicker and heavier than most of her type, and her handle is commensurately longer. GREAT SPEAR BLADE may, at-will, cause anyone within shouting distance to enter into a rage, which she tries to do only when it would be as funny as possible. Currently buried under several bodies in a ditch.
   
   
4. GARDENER WAR DILEMMA. He is a medium drill hoe (+2) of chardun and bronte. As an awkwardly-weighted farming implement, he deals 1d6 damage when held in two hands and 1 when held in one. He can be used to hoe rows at triple speed, but he much prefers combat. Currently in the possession of an alcoholic Zouave.
   
   
5. OLD MEN REAP. She is a light scimitar of ossgold. Her blade is elaborately etched with an agricultural scene depicting a wartime harvest; the women drag fallen trees to form crude abatis along the roads, the children tread grapes in vats full to their waists, and with grim smiles and bent backs the OLD MEN REAP. Her bearer can neither surprise or be surprised, as she constantly mutters about her surroundings and any hidden enemies. Currently hanging on the wall in an abandoned woodcutter's camp.
   
   
6. GREAT INDELIBLE POEM. It is a massive nagamaki (+1) of bronte and ossgold. Its mottled blade and sharkskin grip are clearly the work of a master. It is terrified of fire, water, the dark, long falls and tight spaces. Currently jammed into a big rock somewhere in the middle of nowhere, waiting for a prophesied king.
   
   
7. THE FIRST PRINCIPLE. He is a medium yataghan (-2) of pale. His hilt is missing, so someone has wrapped his tang in bloody bandages. He loudly, negatively, comments on his wielder's martial skills and absence of horse (if his wielder has a horse he will insult it). When used to deal a critical hit, THE FIRST PRINCIPLE will chuckle knowingly and deal an extra 2d8 fire damage. Currently at the bottom of a river tied to a human sacrifice.
   
   
8. PENURY INERTNESS GRIMACE. She is a light falcata (+1) of chardun and ossgold. Her pommel is an eagle's head in gold, her guard an eagle's wings, and her attractively swept blade is sure to draw approving looks from nearby swordsmen. Unfortunately, she swears like a sailor with his head stuck in a toffee puller and knows every rude word in human language. Currently forgotten in a bank safety deposit.
   
   
9. GOOD LUCK FRIEND. She is a medium wakizashi of bronte. Her name is engraved repeatedly on her blade, though it is only visible in the sections not covered with rust. When touched to stone she converts it to iron; when touched to iron she converts it to wood, and when touched to wood she converts it to stone. Violently allergic to living flesh and must be handled with mail mittens. Currently the property of a safecracker in way over her head.
   
   
10. NOTHING TO IDENTIFY. He is a medium backsword (+4) of adamant. His knuckleguard has a warning written on it in an unreadable script, but he can recite it upon specific request: "Please do not touch, thank you". On a critical or a fumble he detonates in a 4MD Fireball, and reconstitutes 24 hours later in the possession of his bearer's next-of-kin. Currently lying on a sidewalk in a slum — he has explained the situation to the residents and they have (wisely) left him there.
    
    
11. STRATEGIC MONKEY RESERVES. She is a light kris of adamant. Her hilt is wrapped in blue silk and her pommel is a sapphire. She steals angels from nearby clerics; this is usually immediately obvious to them and they will request to be returned, but STRATEGIC MONKEY RESERVES will do so only if she feels like it. Currently the only friend of a blue-masked hermit on a small island unknown to cartographers.
    
    
12. NO SAFE HARBOR. He is a medium szabla of bronte and ossgold. Unusual acid wash sometimes resembles a face. As a generous benefactor of humanity, NO SAFE HARBOR delights in offering them what they want most. He can produce his own weight in material every day, consisting of what he thinks is most desired by those present (this is opium if there is a dope addict nearby and cheap gin otherwise). Currently in the possession of an unscrupulous tavernkeep.
    

Rekuratu Recreated (October 2nd: Blood)

    This post was originally cobbled together from campaign notes from 2015. It was the first post on this blog, and received some seventeen views before I de-published it in shame. I have not edited it except by fixing the image-embedding HTML that Blogspot broke at some point. There doesn't seem to be much difference between how I wrote then and how I write now. I have revivified it, and here present it as the second entry in GLOGtober.

Crudely traced from an old issue of Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly

Drinkers of blood, eaters of flesh. Vampires travel the world righting wrongs or causing new ones as the whim takes them. Sun-warding bandages cover them so thickly that their identities would be impossible to determine even if you could find someone who was alive however many centuries ago the vampire was. Like all immortals, vampires are vulnerable to (and sometimes masters of) fire and water. The bodies under the bandages are little more than dust, and will burn or dissolve easily. They fear the ocean like they fear the Devil and will only cross running water in the name of causes they are willing to die for. If they hate you, killing you is such a cause.

It is not difficult to make vampires hate you. They write the names of their enemies on the inside of those bandages they wear over their hearts.

Appearance:

The arrival of a vampire is heralded by all senses. Their voices are dry (or sticky-moist) as the air of a tomb. Their ancient bandages stink of rot, crackle like fire, and are rough as sharkskin. Tasting the bandages is ill-advised.

Old vampires have names in dead languages. Some of those names are recognizable to students of history; others are famed in story from the territory of the Hobgoblin Emperor to the endless deserts of the Parch. Many vampires lie about their names, but not all.Vampires are encountered in almost any climate or region. Like crows or ants, they are attracted to battlefields and sites of slaughter, but they can also be found walking the streets of the great cities at night, or simply wandering through the wilderness testing their skills on any travelers they come across.

Fighting:

Weapons, even enchanted ones, deal half damage to vampires. While they are on fire they receive 1D6 damage at the end of each full turn, and they burn until they immerse themselves in water or something smothers them magically. Immersion in water deals 1D6 damage to vampires, 1D6 at the end of each turn if the water is running or the vampire is moving around. If you can remove their bandages without killing them (and they will fight to prevent this), sunlight will destroy whatever parts of them are still human.

Each vampire carries trophies: perhaps a pennant of a kingdom long vanished from living memory, a lock of woman’s (or man’s) hair, a broken wedding ring, a religious symbol — detritus of a life that might not even be theirs. If a vampire loses a trophy through misfortune, it will abandon its tasks and wander off in a random direction to sulk, or meditate, or raze a village. If someone stole the trophy, on a 4-in-6 chance the vampire will hunt him until one of the two is dead. 2-in-6 chance for it to hunt the culprit for forty-eight hours, then lose interest.

Contents of a Vampire's Pocket (D8): 

1 - Heavy broach in rococo style, studded with semi-precious stones. Sold in parts, the broach is worth 30 sp. Sold whole, 120 sp, less whatever negative value the merchant assigns to running away from a vampire for the rest of his life.

2 - Blood-encrusted crossbow bolt poorly inscribed with runes of dragon slaying. A relic of a forgotten age. 4-in-6 chance a sage will identify these as runes of vampire slaying. Do not shoot a vampire with this. 20 sp.

3 - Slender book which the vampire has used to press daisies. The book was once the possession of Ozurdex the Groping Hand, a powerful prince of a race of necromancers. The flowers have ruined the text. Reading the title aloud messily kills all small animals within 200 feet. -50 sp. (You will have to pay someone a great deal of money to take this cursed thing off of your hand. Burning it yourself might be dangerous. Don't sleep in its presence.)

4 - Ring of Saffron. +1 to any reaction roll with creatures who can smell. There are nations of blind things, deep beneath the earth, who will recognize you as their vengeful blood-drinking g_d. 60 sp.

5 - Ram's horn, capped with silver on the cut end. A lifetime (or just a single war) ago, carrying this marked you as a revolutionary. It now marks you as an officer of the secret police. This vampire, unlike many, was probably only one of those things. 10 sp.

6 - Finger-sized lump of Alchemical Sapphire. This substance repels or destroys many supernatural effects. Someone has carved the base of this piece into a bolt so you can screw it to the tip of a dueling foil and hunt ghosts. 50 sp, 100 sp to an alchemist.

7 - Packet of Lead Sugar. Upon consuming this, take 1 point of damage to your highest stat. 1-in-6 chance of permanent loss; else a full night of sleep heals you. Tastes like home. 10 sp.

8 - A golden crown. Spake Synagis, Offa's Brother, "Crown of eight points, crown I hold in my hands, crown of kadzkadzat and opal, crown you took from our father, crown with the words of Mana over the inner arc, crown you wore as you killed your son..." This has the eight points, the jewels, and the holy writ, just like the skalds still sing. Where did the vampire find this?

Not Fighting:

Every vampire is a master of the Sacerd style of fencing, which emphasizes powerful killing blows with a plain iron smallsword and forbids the use of weapons or tools in the offhand. Fights between two students of the Sacerd style are over within three blows. Fights between a student and a non-student are typically also over within three blows.

Sacerd was developed by the paladin-priests of Tabernak, who believe evil men killed by this style are offered some slight remittance of sin, then perfected by assassins, who believe its coup de grace kills instantly and painlessly, and is now beloved of vampires, who hope (but do not believe) both things are correct.

Traditions of the Sacerd Style: 

Nothing More - These traditions may only be used with a plain one-handed sword and an empty off-hand.

Grooves in the Granite Floors of the Temples - Students of the Sacerd style train for years in the same basic positions and responses. +4 to individual initiative roll, or always get a surprise round if your group wins initiative. This tradition can be learned as a novitiate in a seminary, or in one year's study at a sufficiently old monastery.

Extensive Study of the Vascular System - It takes many long evenings, and careful diagramming by hand, before anyone can fully understand the arteries, veins, capillaries and other vessels that tangle through and about each other inside the human body. Expand your critical hit range by 1. This tradition can be learned as a student in a university, or in one year's study at a military surgery.  

Mindless, Blind Brutality - Few have a natural aptitude for the highest and most esoteric levels of the Sacerd style. Anyone struck by one of your critical hits must make a save vs. death. This tradition can be learned as an abused child, or directly from a vampire. How long it takes him to teach you depends on who you are.

The first five- or six-hundred years of immortality are full of wonder, as the weaknesses of the human condition melt away and the vampires are free to do anything that interests them. But as their half-rotted eternities wear on, ennui and self-hatred grow, and the vampires begin to pursue ever-more self-destructive pastimes.

In what free time they have between fighting for a cause or against each other vampires do little besides feed their bodies and train their swordsmanship, driven ever onward by their wholly justified fear of retribution. If a vampire were to convince himself that nothing persists beyond death and his soul would never face judgement, never be held accountable for his actions, then he would most likely kill himself immediately. But many vampires are old and strange enough to have actually spoken with the g_ds, and some have gone so far as to war with them. Vampires are rarely atheists.

Adventurers with a specific problem and a specific plan to solve the problem almost certainly won't be able to rouse vampires to assist them, even if the plan involves excitement and murder. Still; the worst thing the vampire can do is say no and eat you, so why not ask?

I Shouldn't Be Alive (October 1st: Guns)

This is a post for GLOGtober. GLOGtober 1st is guns.

Source: Revolver Ocelot by CBedford

    One problem people (such as myself) sometimes have with guns in D&Dalikes is the lethality. I can envision what a missed attack roll looks like with a sword (a whiff), I know what a hit with a low damage roll means (caught on a bit of armor, poor timing wasted most of the momentum, barely nicked with the tip), I know what a hit with a high damage roll means (a nasty slice, a solid thwack to the shield-arm). To a degree I can even accept a high HP total that lets a PC take several high-damage hits (it's luck! it's grit! it's all sorts of things besides meat!)

    But what does that look like with firearms? How much damage does a gun do? It seems a bit stupid to have a high-powered rifle do basically the same thing as a big knife.

    Well, real life is pretty stupid as well. Here are a number of unusual effects of being shot.

1. Nothing seems to happen. Later, you will discover a gigantic bullet hole in your hat. 
2. The shot passes harmlessly through your baggy dress pants.
3. You open your mouth to shout in alarm and the bullet whistles through it, neatly removing your canine teeth. 
4. The wadding catches you square in the forehead, knocking you onto your rear, as the bullet whistles by twenty feet above you.
5. The bullet grazes your shin, which hurts like Hell and bleeds like a fountain. You need to take five minutes tying yourself off.
   
6. Your weapon catches the bullet and shatters in a cloud of painful but harmless shrapnel.
   
7. Your hat is taken, and an ear with it. You are otherwise unharmed.
   
8. It goes right through the meat of your upper arm, disabling it for 1d6 days (exploding).
   
9. As you hold some piece of gear up to examine it, the bullet drives it into your face. Your eyes are so blackened they swell shut, blinding you for the rest of the day.
10. A shard of a bullet that broke upon firing catches you in the stomach, and you bleed profusely. Gain the effects of blood loss for 1d6 days (exploding).
    
11. While dodging a shot you fall and twist your knee badly, reducing you to half speed for 1d6 days (exploding).
12. Shrapnel catches you square in the chest and stomach, throwing you to the ground and reducing you to 0 HP.
    
13. The bullet lightly grazes your temple, and you fall unconscious for 1d6 days (exploding). 
14. One hand blown clean off by an unlucky shot.
15. Shot through the thigh, save vs. Death or bleed out within a minute.
16. One leg ruined by an unlucky shot. Reduced to 0 HP.
17. Both of your arms blown off. Reduced to 0 HP. Time to learn how to fight with your teeth
    
18. The bullet catches you in the breastbone and you fall dead instantly.
19. The bullets shred you like paper and you fly backwards, your gear unrecoverable
20. You liquefy, vaporize, and disperse like a fog cloud. Nearby NPCs make morale checks.
    

The Ranger of the Tomb, or; the Prophecy (GLOG Class: Ranger)

To the dark grave we go, bearing the proud and great,
    where quick decay will know no title or estate.
Pour forth the solemn strain, wail for the mighty dead;
    for dust has come to dust again and the warrior spirit fled . . .

Source: Ancient Temple Explorers by Suirebit

    The ground in these parts is full of hollows and the ruins of graves: empty spaces surely made by giants, who dug through stone like a gravedigger through soft earth, and who left behind many wonderful things to amuse them in the afterlife. If you make your living by retrieving these wonders, or guiding parties of others, you are a tomb ranger.

    As a tomb ranger, you can wear light and medium armor and can carry shields. You never fumble while using knives, whips, pistols, grenades or bows.

Skills: 1. Burial Rites 2. Ropes & Knots 3. Mechanics.

Starting Equipment: heavy work clothes (as leather), an exotic mask (see below for equipment list) a bullwhip (light), a bronze lantern , three doses of kerosene (⅓ slot each, burn for twelve hours) and one other piece of kit of your choice .

• A Bloodstained, Light Foot, +1 HP
  
• B Ghost Friend +1 to-hit
  
• C Eyes in the Dark, Trophies, +1 AC
  
• D Darkness in the Eyes, +1 to-hit

Bloodstained
    Horrors of the deep haven't bothered you in years. You can track fresh undead by scent like a bloodhound, and always know if there is a human corpse within 30'. After the DM gives you the Omen of an encounter, you can choose to encounter an appropriately large horde of undead instead.
Light Foot
    You have been trained for extended periods in the field — underground. You suffer no combat penalties from rough terrain, cramped spaces or dim light. If it comes up; you also have no strong objections to utter darkness, wading in stagnant water, or eating shoe leather.

Ghost Friend
    You have attracted a friendly (or at least curious) spirit. It has 2 HD and follows you around. Roll a d6 to learn its name and general outlook:

1. Robert Logsville, ex-tomb ranger. Doesn't quite remember what killed him, but he knows a lot about the underground. Identifies most undead on sight.
   
2. Jone Ries, ex-tomb raider. Endlessly fascinated by modern technology, especially guns. Can scout climbing routes to find the easiest path.
   
3. Ogedei, a King who once inhabited the underground halls. Can't speak your language but likes to sing. 4-in-6 chance of pointing out traps and secret doors.
   
4. The Sheer Veil, an old ghost without a name. Those it envelops are blind but take half damage from all sources. Usually follows directions.
   
5. Shadow-in-the-corner-of-my-eye, an ancient ghost without a form. You cannot be surprised if you're paying attention to its gestures. Likes to hover behind attractive people.
   
6. AGHDHS!, an antecataclysmic thing. Huge. Displaces other spirits, friendly and hostile alike.
   

Eyes in the Dark
    At will, your eyes project ghastly light for five feet. This is bright enough to allow reading text, and is visible for a long way in open space.
Trophies
    Wearing or wielding cursed equipment, which grave goods and evil swords tend to be, gives you proportionate bonuses to AC, to-hit and damage. Negotiate this with your DM, I don't have time for your bullshit, but a small inconvenient curse should give a +1 while a big terrible curse can be a +2 or 3.

Darkness in the Eyes
    At will, walk into a deep shadow and declare that you have disappeared. Nothing can affect you or be affected by you while you are so vanished, and you may reappear in another area of darkness at will unless it is literally impossible for you to have reached it unseen.

 

 Tomb Robbing Kit:

1. Sturdy Work Clothes. Waterproof boots with soles that grip through dampness, big sturdy overalls that won't be torn up by squeezing through narrow passages, fuzzy fleece underthings to protect you from the deathly chill. As leather armor. 0/2 slots.
   
2. Exotic Mask. Looks like a skull, or a monkey, or any other totem you have encountered in the underground. Some ghosts respond well to it.
   
3. Bullwhip. A light weapon, has the reach of a thrown weapon without needing to be thrown. On a fumble it tangles itself in the environment and you must spend a minute retrieving it. ⅓rd slot.
4. Bronze Lantern. Fine specialist gear, sheds light for 15' for twenty-four hours on a dose of kerosene. 1 slot.
   
5. Silent Revolver. Astonishing bit of clockwork, makes no more noise than a fat man covering up a sneeze in an opera house. Deals 1d8 damage at a range of 10', with a -1 to-hit every 5' past that. Comes fully loaded with six shots. ⅓rd slot.
   
6. Stick of Fluorescing Chalk. Glows in a color of your choice when exposed to even the faintest light.
   
7. Sputtering Flares. Burns for five minutes, illuminating poorly for 5', and blinking slightly brighter once a second. Useful as a timer, or can be dropped down a hole to measure distances. Packet of ten. 1 slot.
   
8. Scented Bandanna. Renders many inhaled poisons harmless, or at least down to ½ damage, and prevents you from tracking the undead by scent.
   
9. 100' of rope and clip.
   
10. First-rate Crowbar. Useful as a light weapon, and doubles your effective strength when lifting objects. ⅓rd slot.
    
11. Curlicue Bow. Exceptionally small, exceptionally powerful for its size. The manufacturers promise it can be fully drawn and fired from the inside of a coffin. Deals 1d8 damage at 10', with -1 to-hit every 10' past that. Comes with a pack of ten steel darts. ⅓rd slot and 1 slot respectively.
    
12. Three sticks of dynamite. One stick of dynamite explodes for 1d6 in 10', two for 2d6 in 20' &c. ⅓rd slot each.
13. 30' of Ghostproof Cable. Steel mesh with a core of alchemical sapphire. Opaque and impassible to non-physical entities (ghosts, angels, astral projections). 1 slot.
    
14. Waterproof Bag. Protects up to three slots of objects from the damp, or can be inflated to help you float on bottomless ebon pools of the underworld.
    
15. Cave Helmet. Sturdy, to protect your head, with an attached carbide lamp.
    
16. Pouch of 100 Ball Bearings. Useful as a weight, an obstacle to foes, probably fucking with mechanisms somehow. It's also a good way to move around large blocks of stone if you can lift them up a little bit with a lever. ⅓rd slot.
    
17. Solar Compass. A crystal disc with an adamant pin. Always points to the sun, even underground. Sometimes confused by large, moving shapes in the darkness.
    
18. Climbing Harness. All the bits and bobs, the straps and the hooks, for you to hook yourself on to a rope or carry important gear.
    
19. Bronze Knife. A light weapon. Guaranteed not to spark or cause harm to fairy. ⅓rd slot each.
    
20. Gilt Climbing-axe. A light weapon. Deals full damage to the undead.
    
21. A strange or inexplicable curio. Roll 1d6 on the following list:
    1. Sociopathy detector. Worn around your neck, this small crystal will vibrate in the presence of a sociopath.
       
    2. Heat Bracelet. Gold and rubies in an ancient style. Detonates in 4MD Fireball when it hears its command word (you don't know what its command word is).
       
    3. A head of Diamond Garlic. Black garlic is made by heating whole bulbs over the course of weeks; diamond garlic by heating whole bulbs over the course of centuries. About ten doses of perfect garlic ambrosia.
       
    4. A bee whistle. Produces a sound only audible to bees and elfs.
       
    5. A jar of hatred. Lovely example of ancient glassblowing. When smashed, creatures within 20' must save against hatred. ⅓rd slot.
       
    6. A writ of divine mandamus. Directed at someone, or something, named Charm Person, who refuses (on ethical grounds) to perform their duties. Found in a decaying mailbag three miles beneath the earth.