Thief Guilds of the Blessed City (GLOG Classes: Thief Guilds)

    Thieves! Good stuff, thieves. Sneaky troublemakers who never seem to suffer the consequences they deserve. These are Lexi's thief guilds.

    As a Thief you can wear light armor but can not carry shields. You never fumble with knives or clubs. Your Guild will give you other proficiencies.

Dagger Cults

Source: Wikimedia.

    The worshipers of Volund. They form small groups wherever there is both industry and poverty. Though a cripple and half-blind, Volund exacts revenge for even the smallest insult. His followers revel in escalation of violence. Disproportionate responses are how they honor their g_d.

Skills: 1. Smithing 2. Animal Handling 3. Opera. You are proficient with slings and garrotes.

Starting Equipment: three daggers (light), a sash for holding daggers, half a dozen beautifully worked sheathes for daggers, a whetstone of an appropriate size for daggers and an object from the ninjas's equipment list

1. Purpose
   

   ✧ You talk to knives as if they were people. Your thrown weapons have double range and +2 to-hit.

   ✧✧ You have names for each knife and assign eccentric personalities to them. Your attacks ignore cover of any kind; thrown weapons turn corners and navigate dense underbrush to hit targets within range.

   ✧✧✧ Sometimes, the knives talk back. You may forego attacking and spend your turn whispering the name of a target to your weapon; if you do so, your next thrown attack at that target automatically hits.

2. Myriapod
   

   ✧ As the Volundarkvitha says: "Many legs make light labor". Whatever that means, I guess. You may wall-run horizontally for 20'.
   

   ✧✧ You can wall-run at a dead sprint for 60', and can climb as quickly as you can walk.

   ✧✧✧ By now you're faster across vertical surfaces than horizontal ones. You may wall-run straight up, or in a loop, and you treat falls as being 30' shorter if it is possible to run down an adjacent wall
   

3. Cachaemia
   

   ✧ Spite and gallows-humor has built up in your blood. While injured, you may smear weapons and projectiles on your wounds to have them deal an extra point of poison damage on their next hit. Your friends can do this as well.

   ✧✧ Your blood is true poison now. 1 HP's worth of your blood deals 1d6 damage if ingested. Additionally, you are immune to most poisons and take half-damage from venomous monsters.

   ✧✧✧ When take slashing or piercing damage, your blood fumes out in noxious clouds. Adjacent creatures take 1d6 damage, or 1 damage on a successful save. Creatures which bite you take 2d6 damage without a save, and creatures which eat you die immediately. If you see an attack coming, you can designate nearby creatures to automatically pass their save.

4. Coiler's Flesh
   

   ✧ In strange rites you have tasted the blood of the Worm. You understand birds, though they don't like being understood by humans and fall silent if they know who you are.

   ✧✧ You can understand anything with feathers or scales, and speak to them in their own language. Conversation is now possible. Your dreams are filled with thoughts of treasure and violence.

   ✧✧✧ You can speak to metal and precious stones. Gold gossips, iron is racist, gems are dreamy and whisper of the past and the future. You may construct a hoard of at least 500 gp. The hoard is impossible to find until you are killed.

5. Swan Feathers
   

   ✧ Dagger Cultists know the secret art of ramie production. You can make garments (traditionally shirts, though it could be capes or trousers) out of wild nettles. It takes three days and 1 HP (taken from your maximum) to craft such a garment. The wearer may ignore gravity for thirty seconds a day, resetting at dawn.

   ✧✧ Your garments now count as leather without taking up any inventory space. The magic resets at dawn and dusk. Existing garments may be retooled with one day of work.

   ✧✧✧ Wearers have flight for sixty seconds which moves them as fast as they can run.

6. Tömösváry
   

   ✧ Delicate horns pierce the skin of your temples. You can sense movement within 20', making it impossible to surprise you while awake [unless it's a ghost or something, or an ambusher shoots you from farther than 20' (which is not unlikely)]
   

   ✧✧ The horns curl backwards like a ram's. You have a better sense of smell than a dog, and can see solid objects within 20' at any light level.
   

   ✧✧✧ The horns sprout razor-filaments which shudder in response to light and motion. You know the HP total of every living thing within 20', and can hear physiological changes when they are lying or afraid.
   

Thugs Guild

The most noble seal of the Thugs' Guild. Accept no substitutes.

    Those who do it for a living. "Thieves Guilds" are a bit of a stupid idea, aren't they? Why would criminals form a guild of all things? What, do they offer one another insurance? Is there a pension for thieves who are too old to steal? What sort of incentive do they have to not rat one another out immediately for rewards and favors from Johnny Law?
    Now, a Thugs Guild, that makes a lot of sense. There are a thousand reasons why a legitimate businessman might need to hire the services of Rudy (two meters tall, cornrows, wrap-around green shades, dual-wields nunchucks) and Boris (two meters tall, ginger fuzz, big raggedy scar over his eye, carries a baseball bat everywhere he goes). Consider the club bouncer, the bank security guard, the anti-shoplifting squad — plenty of honest work out there for the hench among us.

    And Rudy and Boris have a lot of reasons to unionize. It seems if they aren't being kicked in the teeth by Angelina Jolie then they're being tossed out of helicopters by Daniel Craig. That's dangerous work, often non-OSHA compliant, with minimal benefits (unless you really enjoy being abused by Daniel Craig or Angelina Jolie). Thus: the Thugs Guild.

Skills: 1. Intelligent Conversation 2. Tying People Up 3. Getting Da Boss Coffee. You can wear medium armor and are proficient with one-handed guns and blades.

Starting Equipment: a card and a pin indicating Guild membership, a standard-issue blunt object (1d6, ⅓ slot), half a dozen tallboys (1 slot), a pack of menthols and a lighter.

1. Swagger
   

   ✧ Your training has given you a distinctive way of moving. If you choose, shopkeepers, street urchins and other minor NPCs immediately recognize you as someone who could beat them up. Morale rolls are made with a penalty equal to the difference between your level and the NPC's HD (minimum -0).
   

   ✧✧ When you intimidate an NPC, they get a penalty to their morale roll equal to how many of the following things are true:
   

   • You broke something of theirs in front of them. 
   • You mentioned a specific, non-obvious fact about them (full name, address, favorite food, a sibling they care about, &c) (stacks up to -4)
     
   • You came up with a good in-character threat.
   • You confronted them somewhere they thought was safe (their shop, their home, their parent's funeral).
     

   ✧✧✧ You can intimidate anything which can understand your threats. You could bop a dragon on the shin and say "eeeeeehhh nice pile of treasure you got here, be a shame if something happened to it" and they would have to make a morale check. Dragons have very, very high morale scores, but they still have to make the check.
   

2. Friends in Low Places
   

   ✧ You have 1d6 guild contacts in the underworld. They keep you updated of the gossip in the streets. Possible services include:
   

   • Fence for you to sell contraband.
     
   • Dealer for you to buy contraband.
     
   • Information Broker who can swap secrets.
     
   • Capo who can rent you soldiers.
     
   • Robber who needs another hand for a job.
     
   • Gentleman-Burglar who can be hired to steal specific things for you.
     

   If you move to a different area, it takes you a week to find another 1d6 contacts.
   Additionally you know Thieves Sign, which is impressive for someone with such big ugly sausage fingers.
   

   ✧✧ You have every common contact, and if you bring a letter of recommendation to a new city you can rebuild your network in an afternoon. If you ask around, 1d6 thugs will follow you on a job for a share of the loot. They have one rank in Exotic Proficiency and skip if they think you are screwing them over.
   

   ✧✧✧ You can communicate with Thieves Sign with eye contact and blinking, even if your hands are full. Rats, cats, pigeons and possums are willing to negotiate with you — they can be your spies or your thieves in return for food and minor favors.
   You can have a pet rat if you want. Roll on the following table for its name:
   

   1. Squeaks
   2. Sunny
      
   3. Reginald
   4. Garfield
   5. Schmendrick
   6. Fido
      
   7. Marcus
      
   8. Doris
   9. Rags
   10. Oswald
   11. Adorabelle
   12. Draco
       

3. Optimized Looting
   

   ✧ When you take ten minutes to search a room, you can choose to search it very thoroughly (heh heh). This is a loud process and will alert anyone else in the building or cause an immediate wandering monster encounter. At the end of this thorough search, you will have discovered every secret door, revealed every trap, and piled up anything even vaguely saleable in a heap on the floor.

   ✧✧ You are a skilled appraiser, and can tell the approximate value (well within a magnitude) and the historical/geographical provenance of items and architecture on sight. You can smash priceless-but-intractable works of art into manageable chunks in such a way that they can still be sold for ¼ their value.
   

   ✧✧✧ You are a master appraiser, to the point of identifying individual works and artists on sight. Magical swords will talk to you even if they normally wouldn't. You know the value of mundane objects to within the nearest 5 gp, and can predict the value of magical items (contingent on your understanding of the magical effects).
   

4. Impress Da Boss
   

   ✧ If you rolled lower than 10 on a strength-related check outside of combat — that is, to move an object, bend a bar, lift a gate or something along those lines — you rolled a 10 instead.
   

   ✧✧ You have a bag of tricks which can occupy up to 6 slots of inventory. You can pull a mundane one- or two-slot item out of the bag at any time, which then occupies those slots. The bag can be refilled in town with 5 gp of actual money and two hours of theft.

   ✧✧✧ If you can lift something, you can carry it indefinitely. Ignore encumbrance penalties. When people ask "isn't that heavy?" you must grunt and say "not really".
   

5. That Didn't Hurt
   

   ✧ You have two hector points (hP). These represent your ability to ignore karate-kicks and blows to the head. When you take damage from a physical attack, your hP soak it first. You get a single hP back every time you intimidate an enemy into fleeing or reduce a target to 0 HP.
   

   ✧✧ You have four hP. They now soak damage from poison, fire, falling and magic. You can regain a point by getting drunk or destroying 5 gp of furniture.
   

   ✧✧✧ You have six hP. You can sacrifice one in combat to roll an attack with advantage. If you take a hit at full hP which overflows, ignore the overflow damage.
   

6. Exotic Proficiency
   

   ✧ Pick a weapon which would be stupid and impractical for an urban setting (an urumi, a three-foot boomerang, a sledgehammer, a pair of nunchucks, a pair of tiger claws). You are proficient with that weapon as a fighter, and get +1 to-hit while using it.
   

   ✧✧ When making an attack with advantage using your stupid weapon, if both attack rolls succeed you hit twice. You also have +1 damage with the stupid weapon.
   

   ✧✧✧ Negotiate a special effect for your stupid weapon. An urumi might ignore shields, a missed boomerang might get a second chance to hit on its way back the next round, a pair of nunchucks might tangle enemy weapons. Something cool and intimidating. You get +2 to-hit and damage with the stupid weapon.
   

Preppies

Source: Thief GI cover by I-GUYJIN-I

    Those who rob for sport. Some are gentlemen-burglars, too proud to work (think A. J. Raffles and Mssr. Flambeau). Some are professionals with complicated reasons and justifications (Carmen Sandiego and Arsène Lupin). Some are rich kids bored with their lives of leisure. A few are just total shitheads.

Skills: 1. Dance 2. History 3. Gamesmanship. You can use shields and are proficient with rapiers, pistols, broadswords and shortbows.

Starting Equipment: An extra-large wallet, a domino mask, a nice suit (as unarmored, +1 reaction) and twenty calling cards with your name [design your own in Photoshop (or Paint)!].

1. Idol Rich
   

   ✧ Everyone knows you come from good stock. Your calling cards count as invitations to the best parties in any city they are recognized, and your extensive balleto training lets you run across any structure which can hold your weight.

   ✧✧ A week of fraternizing gets you 1d6 contacts in the upper class. They give you accurate rumors and might let you borrow their yacht. Your calling cards can get you out of minor punishment (for crimes such as parking violations, trespassing, public drunkenness) with a minimum of embarrassment.
   

   ✧✧✧ Once per city, your calling cards can get you out of a death sentence (for crimes such as murder, kidnapping, blasphemy). You will be quietly escorted to the city limits and asked to never return. Your rich friends will think this is hilarious, unless the crime was against the upper class.
   

2. Fancy
   

   ✧ High Fashion (as unarmored, +1 reaction) counts as leather for you. No one ever thinks it is strange that you are dressed in High Fashion.
   

   ✧✧ Your reaction bonus is trebled if your party members are also wearing High Fashion. When you take a hit, you may sunder your fancy clothing. The outfit is ruined, but incoming damage is reduced by a d12.
   

   ✧✧✧ Given half an hour and a knife you can turn any set of clothing into particularly daring High Fashion. Careful; you might start a new trend.
   

3. Amateur Cracksman
   

   ✧ It's more fun if they never even knew you were there. Dark clothing and dance shoes give you a +2 bonus to sneak attempts. You have a 3-in-6 chance of picking a common lock in ten minutes (2-in-6 for something more secure, 1-in-6 for a safe or the like). Your jump distance is doubled..
   

   ✧✧ Odd how they never think to look behind them, or up. You can silently follow a lone creature for as long as you want. You don't need to roll to climb anything a normal person could climb with a roll, and your lock-picking attempts are improved by 2-in-6.
   

   ✧✧✧ When you step into a shadow, you leave the scene. Reenter from another shadow when you feel like it. This trick can take you unseen to anywhere, unless it would be literally impossible (the dimensional portal is well-lit and watched by Argus, the wizard teleported to the bottom of a volcano 1,000 miles away, or something else truly absurd). It might be more sporting if you started leaving your calling cards.
   

4. Real Professor
   

   ✧ You've learned the hard lessons of the street. Quite literally — the Thugs Guild holds workshops down at the community center. Refreshments are provided (bagels and lemonade). When striking an unsuspecting target with a blunt object, you may forego damage to knock them prone and dazed for 1d6 rounds. You have a friend in a low place of your choice (except for the burglar, because that's you).
   

   ✧✧ Did you know the Thugs Guild offers a subscription service as well? It's true! Before a job, you can scare up 1d6 Thugs with one rank in Exotic Proficiency. They will each demand a share. If you lose a Thug, the Guild will expect a reimbursement of 100 gp. You can't get out of this penalty without skipping town entirely. Even you aren't more powerful than unionization.
   Roll to determine your thug's name:
   

   1. Klaus
      
   2. "Bubba"
      
   3. Big John
      
   4. Natasha
      
   5. Cash
      
   6. Rolf
      
   7. Maurice
      
   8. Gator
      
   9. Boris
      
   10. Crusher
       
   11. Nickie
       
   12. The Ethnonym
       

   ✧✧✧ In recognition of the friendship between you and Thugs everywhere, the Guild has put your name on a little board in their meeting hall. There's even a really ugly bronze statue of you on a park bench somewhere. You can flash your calling cards to get in to the back room of any casino or unsavory club, and you can reach any common friend in a low place within twenty-four hours. Various criminal elements recognize you as a patron of the Art. You can depend on their friendship and silence.
   

5. Daddy's Money
   

   ✧ When you gain this skill, your parents send you a check for 50 gp. If you plan out a job at least a day in advance then you already own the mundane supplies — we've got people for that, you know.
   

   ✧✧ Your calling cards can be offered as promissories to automatically bribe doormen, revenuers and border patrol. This also works on 4-in-6 actual cops and 3-in-6 actual minor officials (judges, secretaries of politicians, bureaucratic functionaries).
   

   ✧✧✧ Your parents and any elder siblings have died in a tragic yachting accident at the family ski lodge. You immediately receive 1,000 gp, an estate in the city, an estate in the country, a yacht, a ski lodge, a crypt, 15,000 gp in gambling arrears and whatever grudges or favors your family is owed.
   

6. Decadence
   

   ✧ The family library is extensive, and contains a few elder tomes of hideous secrets. You can cause one of the following effects with a whispered word:
   

   • Shatter a fragile glass object, like a cup, mirror or window. 
   • Snuff a small fire, like a match, candle or lamp.
     
   • Kill a small creature, like a spider, mouse or canary.
     
   • Force a sensation on a person, like a rotting stink, a flash-paper light or the sound of loud whispers. 

   When you use a hideous secret, roll an intelligence save or take a point of damage.
   

   ✧✧ When you gain this rank, you lose 3 points from Charisma or Wisdom. You can see in dim light as easily as direct sunlight. You know the names and faces of 1d6 of them, which allow you access to all sorts of exciting clubs and secret parties. Gain an MD and a spell of your choice.
   

   ✧✧✧ When you gain this rank, you lose 3 points from Charisma and Wisdom. They have noticed you and your meddling. Gain a mutation, another spell, and an additional MD. You might need to wear a mask in public now.
   

Blessed Even More (GLOG Classes: Clerics)

    The Masked Clerics are the successors to Aeshe the Great Sage, and therefore successors to the g_ds themselves. They travel the world beating back evil and bringing light to strange pagan nations. Their masks are constant symbols of their unshakeable faith and unbreakable vows.

    But why do clerics wear masks? It's a valid question. The non-answer is "if they aren't wearing masks they can't cast spells". But why is that? And why these very specific images? One of the great mysteries of the world, I suppose. Maybe there's somewhere you could go to try and find answers.

Imagine these gentlemen, but not necessarily gentlemen and they're all wearing silly masks. Source: Wikimedia

Glog Class: Masked Cleric

    You are a Cleric Errant, one who wears a holy mask and commands the servants of the g_ds. A brave campaigner against Chaos. Usually.

    Each order of masked clerics has its own set of tenets, which you must follow or face Doom. In exchange for following these tenets, you have access to angels who can be commanded with Mercy Dice. It's very similar to casting spells with Magic Dice, except it's called something different.

    You never fumble when wielding staves or knives, and can wear light armor. Your order may give you other proficiencies.

Skills: 1. Book-Keeping 2. Public Speaking 3. Archaeology

Starting Equipment: A porcelain mask indicating your order (can be remade for 10 gp if lost), robes from the same order, a walking staff (medium), a shortsword or a mace (light) and one other sacramental.

• A: Ordained, Holy Mask, +1 MD
• B: Prayer, +1 MD
• C: Friends with an Angel, +1 MD
• D: Monsignor, +1 MD
  

Perk: If you perform a three-hour ritual, you may direct an angel with one additional MD. This only takes one hour on Hallowed ground.

Drawback: Your power is tied to the oaths of your mask. While wearing it, you must follow the tenets of your order. Breaking the minor tenets while wearing the mask causes an immediate mishap. Breaking your major tenet is an immediate Doom, whether or not you are wearing your mask.

Cantrips

1. You can choose to accompany your angels with the smell of incense, a pleasant yellow glow, the sound of musical chimes or any combination of these.
2. You can tell how long a body has been dead for at a glance. This is less of a supernatural effect and more a necessary part of the job.
3. You can always see angels and other spirits. If you are wearing your mask they can see you as well. In the same way Wizards can detect arcana, you can detect the influence of the supernal, in the form of curses, hatred and the blight of Chaos.

Ordained
    You are a member of a specific social class. People will make assumptions about you and your behavior. They will support you or oppose you based on the mask of your order.

Holy Mask

    Choose the Infant, the Skull, or the Elder. You are a White Mask, Black Mask or Purple Mask Cleric respectively. You are familiar with two angels from your sect's list; one is Hallow and the other is determined by rolling a d8. You may direct these angels by rolling your MD. If you are achieving a victory for the main tenet of your order, roll another MD which is not counted for mishaps or dooms. Up to your level of angels accompany you in your travels. If you are familiar with more (which you immediately are at first level), you can swap them out with an hour of prayerful meditation. You may encounter other angels on your journeys, and they may join you.
    Every morning, decide whether or not to put on your mask. If you do, failing any of the minor tenets of your order leads to an immediate mishap. If you don't, you cannot direct your angels. Taking the mask off before the end of the day leads to a mishap. Putting the mask on later is fine but you won't recover MD until the next morning.

Prayer
    Once per day, unnerved, unbalanced and at the end of your rope, you can beg for a divine favor. You have a 1-in-6 chance of receiving a single MD and an angel which you are expected to command immediately. Your chances go up by 1-in-6 if you have expended all your MD, if you are injured, or if you have been wearing your mask since morning (these stack). G_d doesn't care about spell lists and might send anything.

Friends with an Angel

    Choose an angel you are familiar with; she follows you without counting towards your limit. This is pretty cool and NPCs will react accordingly. When commanding this angel, your MD exhaust only on a 5 or 6.

Monsignor

    Your actions have been recognized by your Church. It is likely you will be canonized upon death. If you are a member of the White Masks, you no longer answer to your superiors, and are given a few initiates (perhaps 2d6) of your own to take under your wing and train.
    If you are a member of the Black Masks, you will be assigned a high-ranking assassin who will follow you around and kill you if you fall to Chaos. They are a fourth-level Sword-Shepherd trained in the Sacerd style.
    If you wear the Purple Mask, your exploits have earned you a following of disciples (perhaps 1d6) who are eager to learn from and argue with you. You could start a monastery if you wanted.

Masks, Tenets, Angels

The White Mask; the Infant

    The White Masks are the largest sect of religious (as in non-secular) clerics. Members of this sect wear black robes and the eponymous white masks which depict the face of an infant, to remind the world of the importance of innocence and humility.

Tenets of the White Mask:

1. Do not, through action or inaction, allow an innocent to come to harm. Ignore all other tenets if they would interfere with this, your most important goal.
2. In all things, obey your superiors in the Church without breaking the first tenet.
3. Do not initiate violence, except when directed by a valid authority.
4. Do not touch or interact with corpses, except as necessary for your clerical duties.
5. Do not touch or carry bladed implements, except as necessary for your clerical duties.

    As a rule of thumb, an "innocent" is anyone with less than 1 HD who isn't trying to fight. Initating violence means to cause initiatives to be rolled, to cast a damaging spell or to make an attack. Rations made from meat are corpses. Arrows are bladed implements. Shovels are bladed implements, but digging a grave is often a necessary clerical duty.

    The first White Mask Cleric was also the first disciple of the Great Sage after His ordeals. Thus, the angels of the White Masks are among the most highly revered. Their clerics are proficient with maces and hammers.

1. Hallow
   R: 30*[dice]' T: a valid square area at most 30*[dice]' to a side, or [dice] corpses D: [dice]*12 hours.
   This must be performed as a ritual.
   A valid area has four solid corners and something to serve as an altar. In a pinch, four piles of rocks and a dead horse will do. If Hallow is consistently applied to an area for fifty days, it is permanently Hallowed.
   Anything cast in a Hallowed area is a ritual. Demons and elfs will not enter without provocation.
   Target corpses will not rise from the dead. They cannot be resurrected by any force weaker than your Hallow.
2. Heal
   R: Touch T: an injured person D: immediate.
   The target is healed for [sum] HP. If you invest more [dice] you can choose to forego the healing for a different benefit:
   If two [dice] are invested, this is a Lesser Restore, which can close a flesh wound or knit a broken bone.
   If three [dice] are invested, this is a Restoration, which can reform mangled body parts or cure a disease.
   Four [dice] invested result in a Greater Restore which can reattach a recently-severed limb or regrow fingers and toes.
   Casting with five [dice] makes this a Miracle, which can regrow essential organs or missing limbs, and can cure any number of diseases.
3. Turn
   R: 20*[dice]' T: [sum] enemies of fewer than [dice] HD D: up to [dice] hours.
   Targets within range are compelled to flee your presence. Intelligent creatures get a save to resist; unintelligent undead do not. Intelligent creatures are also smart enough to take potshots at the cleric from beyond the range. If you take any damage the Turning immediately ends.
   If you invest three [dice] or more, obliterate [dice] undead within range, starting from the weakest.
4. Hold
   R: 30' T: a door, rope, creature or other movable thing. D: [sum] rounds.
   The target is grappled (or held in place) by an angel. The angel is as strong as an adult human with 12 + ([dice]*3) Strength, a good grip, and a firm place to stand.
5. Kindle
   R: reach T: a creature or object struck by your weapon D: instant
   Make an attack against the target with +[dice] to-hit. If the attack hits, target takes an additional [sum] points of fire damage without a save. Inanimate objects are hit automatically.
6. Bless
   R: 50*[dice]' T: [sum] creatures within range D: [dice] hours
   Scream, pray and prophesy as loud as you can while holding your hands above your head. If you have a staff or a sword you should be holding it. While you are doing this all targets within range get a [dice] bonus to every d20 roll they make.
   The effect ends immediately if you take damage or if you drop your hands. A CON check every few minutes would be appropriate.
7. Haircloth and Ashes
   R: shouting distance T: an intelligent creature with HD equal to or HIGHER than [dice] D: [dice] rounds
   You make a complex theological argument describing the target's many sins. At the end of the duration, compare the [sum] to the target's HP. If [sum] is higher, the target abandons their worldly life and leaves forever.
   If you take damage while making the argument, the casting fails and your MD are lost. The target is likely to attack you unless of a highly religious bent.
8. Summon Scavengers
   R: 300' T: a point within range D: [dice] hours
   [sum] HD worth of wild animals will swarm the target and attempt to consume it. With one [die], this is mostly insects which will eat unguarded food. With two, this will include rodents and other small vermin, who may attack people in the area. Three [dice] will summon flocks of scavenger birds, and four will summon foxes, raccoons and wild dogs. Stories of powerful clerics summoning 1d100 bears are likely apocryphal.
9. Deluge
   R: [dice] miles T: a circular area centered on you D: [dice] days
   The target area receives heavy rain. If cast with one [die], clouds gather over the course of [least] days, to steadily rain on the target area for the duration. If cast with two, clouds hurry to the area on sudden winds over [least] hours. If cast with three, the clouds are visibly dragged across the sky within [least] minutes. Casting with four [dice] will cause you to vomit out dark storm clouds which form immediately, and the duration is extended to [sum] days.
10. Raise
    You touch a corpse and return it to some form of life.
    If one [die] is invested, this is called Question Dead and must be cast on a corpse dead for fewer than 24 hours. The corpse will answer [sum] yes-or-no questions you ask it. They are under no obligations, but will usually be friendly..
    If two [dice] are invested, this is Speak with Dead and must be cast on a corpse dead for fewer than five days. The corpse returns to life for [sum] rounds and can hold a conversation with you. They are under no obligations, and may attack if hostile (if you receive damage the effects end immediately).
    If three [dice] are invested, this is Raise Dead and must be cast on a corpse dead for less than a month. The corpse returns to life for [sum]*2 hours. They may have suffered some ability-score damage from decay, but otherwise are completely functional.
    If four dice are invested, this is Resurrection and must be cast on a corpse dead for less than a year. The corpse returns to life for [sum] days. Decay is halted, memories are retained, and the spell may be cast again when the duration is up. Life, in some form, continues.
    Five [dice] would make this spell a True Resurrection. In theory this would return someone to true life; in practice the risks are too high to make the casting practical, and it is illegal anyway (what would the Emperor do if someone raised his grandfather from the dead?)

The Black Mask; the Skull

    The Black Masks are the most widespread and adventurous sect. Members of this sect wear white robes and the eponymous black masks depicting a skull, to remind the world of mortality and the surety of Judgment. Their clerics can use medium armor and shields, and are proficient in one-handed guns or swords.

Tenets of the Black Mask:

1. Do not, through action or inaction, allow a guilty person to escape justice. Ignore all other tenets if they would interfere with this, your most important goal.
2. Do not, through spoken or written word, through action or implication, lie. Go out of your way to correct misunderstandings, unless doing so might break the first tenet.
3. Distrust every other cleric and every member of every hierarchy. When in doubt, assume enemy action.
4. Carry no more money, food or equipment than you need. Any wealth you have in excess must be given to the Church.
5. Ignore rules of etiquette. Be brusque and straightforward, and do not make smalltalk.

 As a rule of thumb, to "escape justice" means to be able and willing to repeat whatever crimes got them in trouble in the first place. Punishment is usually at your discretion. If an execution would be wildly inappropriate (and not merely excessive), then they probably don't count as a "guilty person". Wealth donated to the Church counts for carousing XP. "Banal politeness" really depends on the situation.

1. Hallow
   As a White Mask.
2. Heal
3. Turn
4. Kindle
5. Bless
6. Glory
   R: n/a T: self D: [dice] hours
   Your head is lit with a halo of divine radiance. For the duration, you are noticeably more attractive. The halo casts brilliant daylight out to [best]*10', and hirelings and party members get a +[dice] bonus to morale rolls and saves against Fear.
7. Iconoclasm
   R: shouting distance T: a solid object or structure D: instant
   An invisible angel applies sudden sharp force to an inanimate target within range. The strength of this force depends on the number of [dice] you invest; a single [die] is like a blow of a hammer (shattering a household idol or destroying a painting), two [dice] is as effective as two people with tools (knocking over a man-sized idol, smashing open a locked door or chest), three [dice] can do the work of ten men with pulleys and levers (toppling a 20-foot statue, collapsing a wooden building), four [dice] are worth a dozen workmen and a full day (collapsing a stone building, shattering half an acre of woodland). This effect is immediate and must be accompanied with a loud cry.
   
8. Demagogy
   R: n/a T: self D: [dice] minutes
   Your voice is supernaturally amplified. You speak like a crowd of [best]*[dice] men, women and children. Intelligent beings with fewer HD than [dice] must save to disbelieve anything you tell them. Animals will flee. Monsters will be attracted.
   
9. Dispel
   R: touch T: a supernatural object or an area with a magical effect D: instant
   Lightning wreaths your hand. When you touch the target, its magic is undone if weaker than or equal to your Dispel. If stronger, make a save with a penalty equal to the difference in MD or level of caster (depending on the effect). If you fail a save against a more powerful spell, take [dice] damage. Some magical items will be destroyed, others rendered mundane, and some may regain their power as time passes or on certain events.
10. Pillar
    R: 30' T: a cylindrical volume [dice]*5' in radius and [dice]*20' high D: [dice] minutes
    The target volume is filled with a roaring whirlwind for the duration. Unsecured objects will be thrown around, and ranged attacks (made from, directed into or passing through) automatically miss. Flying creatures will take 1d6 damage every round from flying debris.
    On their turn, you may choose to move the the pillar 60' in any direction. The mass of rushing garbage deals [dice] damage to unarmored creatures it passes over, no save.
    

The Purple Mask; the Elder

    Purple Heresy is widespread in the bitter South. Their clerics wear a purple mask which resembles an old man grinning broadly. This imagery is religiously significant in some important way. If you ask what significance it has, the Purple Heretics laugh and call you stupid. Their clerics can use shields and are proficient with rifles.

Tenets of the Purple Masks:

1. Do not, through action or inaction, allow error to be taught. Use fire if necessary. Ignore all other tenets if they would interfere with this, your most important goal.
2. Do not share information with the unworthy or those who would misuse it.
3. Seek out ancient tomes and ruins; do not allow information to be lost or forgotten.
4. Correct those who are under false impressions, unless this would interfere with the second tenet.
5. Accumulate libraries and stores of secret information, unless this would break the third tenet.

    A bishop who preaches (or a book which states) that Aeshe died a martyr is "teaching error", a farmer who thinks disease is spread by miasma is not. Authority to teach is the key element, not the nature of the error. Most PCs are unworthy unless strictly necessary. Remember; it's easy to give away a secret, but taking it back costs blood. Err on the side of caution. Stealing from another cleric's secret archive is bad form, but copying isn't stealing even if they get really mad at you.

1. Hallow
   As a White Mask.
2. Turn
3. Kindle
4. Message
   R: [dice]*5 miles T: a person you know the name of D: immediate
   Sends a message of [sum] words or fewer to a person you know. You can choose to have this happen immediately, or at some point within the next 24 hours. Waking targets perceive the message being shouted at them by many voices. Sleeping targets perceive an angel reading from a scroll in a dream.
   
5. Guide Eyes
   R: [dice]*30' T: [sum] creatures D: [dice] minutes
   Targets save or find their eyes drawn inexorably towards a point or direction you designate. If this is behind them, they may choose between turning around or closing their eyes.
   
6. Ghost Form
   R: 5' T: self D: [dice] minutes
   You create a duplicate of yourself which disappears after taking any damage. Mundane equipment is copied for the duration. At the end of the duration, or when the duplicate is destroyed, its memories return to you. You may, at any time, destroy the duplicate and immediately move to its location.
   
7. Literal Translation
   R: touch T: physical text or images D: [dice] minutes
   Pass your hands over the target as you cast this spell. Words will be reformed in an approximation of their original meaning. You can do this on paintings and sculptures as well, and the angel will do her best to reshape the art in a way that gives you more context. Angels do not necessarily understand complex language, figures of speech, artistic liberties or very subtle symbolism. The target returns to its original form at the end of the duration.
   
8. Deserving Truth
   R: touch T: n/a D: permanent
   You trace burning sigils on a surface, such as a wall or a piece of paper. These sigils deal [sum] damage to humans, beasts, monsters, ghosts, undead, angels, devils or any other creature which can see and understand them. They may save to take [dice] damage instead. Damaging the surface ends the effect.
9. Eye of Eyes
   R: n/a T: a person, place or thing you can name and could pick out of a lineup D: [dice] minutes
   You summon an angel whose eyes you can perceive through at-will. She flies towards the target at one-hundred and twenty miles an hour, then hovers close to it until the duration ends.
   For every MD invested past the first, add one of these effects: sense of hearing, senses of touch and taste and smell, directing the angel to examine the environment, detecting supernal influences, speaking with the angel's voice.
   There are some things in the world you do not want to examine too closely — things like cursed artifacts, the stars, whatever hides behind another cleric's mask. Be careful.
   
10. Nowhere
    R: 5' T: a space seven feet long and three feet wide D: [dice] minutes
    A coffin appears in the target space. It is large enough to contain a person, or 7 slots of inventory space, and disappears at the end of the duration. It is always the same coffin.
    If your coffin is damaged or stolen, you will have to apply for a new one from the angels. And for heaven's sake, don't let it vanish with living things inside!

Mishaps of the Masked Cleric:

1. Sprained soul. Your dice return to your pool only on a result of 1 or 2 for 24 hours. If this is the result of breaking a tenet, instead dice will not return to your pool for 24 hours.
2. Flashpoint. The casting produces a burst of painful holy light. Your angels panic and are blinded for 24 hours, reducing all casting ranges to touch.
3. Hypermobility. Take d6 damage, adding the result to [sum]. If this is the result of breaking a tenet, instead roll a Mishap with every casting for the next 24 hours.
4. The angel leaves in a huff, and cannot be contacted for 24 hours. Other angels will be snippy with you. If this is the result of breaking a tenet, a random angel (besides your Friend) leaves.
5. Ripple effect. All undead within 10 miles are alerted to your location.
6. Bearing overload. Flammable clothing catches. Lose your sense of taste, smell and touch for 24 hours.

Dooms of the Masked Cleric:

1. Your mind breaks and Chaos flows in like molten lead. The cleric is under the control of the DM for one hour. Their new personality exists in the overlap between Dick Dastardly, Pol Pot and a middle-school bully. They are not necessarily hostile towards the party, but they are likely hostile towards the party's goals, and may need to be restrained.
2. The same as the above but the affliction lasts for 24 hours.
3. Permanent loss of control. The cleric flees into the night a depraved wretch whose only delight is carnage and misery. If you were a Monsignor, that "whoosh" you heard was your chance of canonization going flying off.

You can avoid this gruesome fate by truly Resurrecting a great hero, by putting a priest of Chaos to rest, or by recovering a lost page of the Magolg par artenbrar.

Sacramentals

1. Gold-plated Mace. A medium weapon which deals full damage to the undead. Expensive to replace. 1 slot.
2. Bottle of Holy Water. Splash this on an undead for 1d6 damage, or on random people in the street in case they are devils. Three doses. You can make another bottle with blessed salt, an MD and a ritual (blessing the salt is also a ritual but a sack of that stuff lasts a long time). ⅓ slot.
3. Bottle of Blessed Chrism. Can be splashed on undead like holy water, or you can insert a wick and use it like a blessed lamp. In olden days this was a mix of olive oil and balm-of-gilead; now it's just the oil. ⅓ slot.
4. 10 Beeswax Candles. Nice modern wicks. Shed 10' of light for half an hour. 1 slot altogether.
5. 100' of Silk Rope. Very high-quality stuff. 1 slot.
6. Crosier. A T-shaped bronze head on a medium staff. For some reason, angels out in the wild respond well to it. 1 slot.
7. Ribbon. Twenty feet of it, in the color of your choice. Delightful.
8. Bone Shoebuckles. Heavy iron things filled with pieces of saints (not necessarily the bones). Your footprints can be tracked with supernal-sight, and you can kick down weak Wizard Locks (or similar spells) as if they weren't there.
9. Snakeskin Belt. Fashionable. If thrown into a fire, emerges as an immense, fireproof 4 HD viper. It is not loyal or grateful. Its skin can be made into another belt.
10. Blessed Gun. A normal snapchance (2d6 damage, full minute to reload, -1 to-hit every 10' of range), but it has been blessed. Glows faintly in total darkness. 1 slot.
11. Horn of Red Powder. Weaker than black powder; guns loaded with it deal 2 points of damage fewer. Red powder catches even if soaking wet, produces no smoke and explodes almost silently. The muzzle flash is lurid red and much brighter than that of normal powder. Ten doses. 2 slots.
12. Orthodox Holy Book. Contains information about Aeshe, his torture, and what his disciples taught. Hearing this read gives hirelines and party members +1 to morale rolls and saves against Fear. ⅓ slot.
13. Less Orthodox Holy Book. Contains information about Aeshe's death and the early days of the Church. There's a map scrawled over one of the pages. You need a good reason to own something like this. ⅓ slot.
14. Very Irregular Holy Book. Contains speculation about Aeshe, his disciples, and their relation to the g_ds. This might be the last copy in the world. You do not have a good enough reason to own it. ⅓ slot.
15. Calligraphy Set. Pens, brushes, inks, nice paper. Doesn't make you a better writer but it makes you the best writer you can be. 1 slot.
16. A drawing of the face of G_d. You (yes you, the player) have to actually draw this. Whatever you draw is your character's take.
17. Fake Mask. Looks just like another sect's mask. You could have a lot of fun with this (and all of it would be illegal). ⅓ slot.
18. Sacral Mirror. Reflects more than just light. Allows you to see yourself with supernal-sight or to peer around corners. ⅓ slot.
19. PLACE NO BETS. A handsome heavy weapon, with a squared-off blade and a holy symbol on his pommel. Remembers a lot of folklore and likes to tell stories around the campfire. He also likes to cut the heads off of criminals. 2 slots.
20. An oddity. Roll 1d6:
    
    1. A small pair of golden scissors. Their edge never dulls.
    2. A diamond-studded ring in a rococo style. "Eats" fires when you stick your hand in them, and can light kindling with a snap of your fingers.
    3. A ram's horn, polished smooth. Blowing it produces a male chorus singing about the end of the world.
    4. A briar pipe and a few ounces of high-quality tobacco.
    5. A pair of green sunglasses. Canines (including werewolves) are invisible to you while you wear them.
    6. A map to the site of several lost treasures of the Green Heretics. They will pay you 20 gp for it. Their rivals will pay you 30.

Good luck.

G_D CAN MAKE MISTAKES (GLOG CLASS: GIANT SPIDER AAAAAA)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK, AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK AAAAA

WHAT THE HELL HOLY SHIT YOU'RE A GIANT SPIDER AAAAAA!!!!! FUCK

Class: GIANT SPIDER AAAAAA

    YOU ARE BIGGER THAN A DOG AND YET STILL SMALLER THAN A MAN! IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT THOSE LONG HAIRY LEGS ARE A LITTLE SEXY ACTUALLY 😳
    OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN'T WEAR ARMOR (UNLESS IT'S SPIDER ARMOR) AND YOU CAN'T REALLY HOLD TOOLS OR TALK! BUT YOU CAN DANCE EXPRESSIVELY TO GET YOUR POINT ACROSS!
    FOR EVERY TEMPLATE IN THIS CLASS, GAIN 6 HP! THAT'S AN EXTRA 24 HP BY THE END! ALSO, I GUESS YOU HAVE LIKE 14 AC TO BEGIN WITH? THAT'S A GOOD AMOUNT TO STICK WITH. THIS PROBABLY ISN'T A PRACTICAL CLASS FOR A SERIOUS GAME.

Skills: 1. Hot air ballooning 2. Architecture (as art, not engineering) 3: craft brewing
Starting Equipment: A little backpack sized just for you (this is the only way spiders can have an inventory), four pairs of business-casual flats, one piece of SPOOOOOOKY GEAR (see below).

whY IS THIS ONE GREEEEEN AAAAA

• A CHELICERAE! TOO MANY LEGS! +2 ADAPTATION
• B MIMICRY! +1 ADAPTATION
• C STRANGE VENOM! +1 ADAPTATION
• D WEAVING! CHOOSE ONE ADAPTATION

CHELICERAE!
    BIG OLD TEETH! I... DO NOT KNOW HOW THESE WORK. I ASSUME THEY DEAL 1d8 PIERCING DAMAGE +/- STRENGTH, AUTOMATICALLY HITTING GRAPPLED TARGETS. I GOOGLED "SPIDER MOUTH" AND NOW I AM UNABLE TO PUT MY FEET ON THE FLOOR. UGH.
TOO MANY LEGS!
    FUCK IT'S TOO MANY! EIGHT OF THEM? THAT IS SIX MORE THAN STRICTLY NECESSARY! FOUR MORE THAN OPTIMAL! TWO MORE THAN A REASONABLE MAXIMUM! WHY, WHY, WHY?
    YOU CAN CLIMB ON ANYTHING A NORMAL SPIDER CAN CLIMB ON! THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR A CREATURE OF YOUR SIZE, BUT YOU DO IT ANYWAY, IN DEFIANCE OF SANITY AND HOPE.

MIMICRY!
    YOU ARE INCREDIBLY GOOD AT DISGUISING YOURSELF AS THINGS WHICH AREN'T A GIANT SPIDER AAAAAA. IF YOUR PARTY TELLS PEOPLE YOU ARE A GIANT ANT, AN OLD WOMAN OR AN ITALIAN THEY WILL SIMPLY BELIEVE (and if you could talk you could tell them yourself!).

STRANGE VENOM!
    OOOH, NASTY. YOUR FANGS NOW DEAL 1d10 DAMAGE AND CAN HARM GHOSTS AND THE UNDEAD! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? ICK, DAMN IT, FUCK, I DON'T KNOW!

 WEAVING
    YOU ARE SO GOOD AT WEBS YOU CAN MAKE THINGS WHICH AREN'T WEBS! I don't really know how to limit/rule on this. Shirts? Rope? How much silk can spiders produce? You should ask your DM about this. Maybe one slot's worth an hour?

SPIDER ADAPTATIONS:
ROLL ON THE FOLLOWING TABLE!

1. HEAVY CHITIN. YOUR AC IS NOW 16. YOU ARE NOTICEABLE MORE OF A CHONKER! IT'S FINE, YOU'RE GROWING.
2. SPIDER SENSE. YOU ARE NEVER SURPRISED [BUT YOU (THE PLAYER) HAVE TO SAY "MY SPIDER SENSE IS TINGLING" EVERY TIME THIS IS RELEVANT].
3. NIGHT VISION. YOU CAN SEE IN THE DARK. EVER POINTED A FLASHLIGHT AT A FIELD AT NIGHT? FUCK!
4. GHOST WEBS. YOUR WEBBING CAN CATCH SUPERNATURAL SPELLS, INCORPOREAL GHOSTS, ABSTRACT SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS AND THAT SORT OF THING (THIS IS HOW UNGOLIANT DRANK THE LIGHT).
5. BIG JUMP. YOU CAN LEAP 20' VERTICALLY! THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, BUT NOT GREAT.
6. FAST RUN. OOOH SHIT, ONCE PER DAY MOVE 90' IN SIX SECONDS FLAT AND REQUIRE MORALE ROLLS FROM WHOEVER YOU ARE CHARGING AT.
7. ALLURING VOICE. YOU SOUND LIKE MARILYN MONROE (OR GEORGE CLOONEY IF YOU'RE MORE INTO THAT). LETS YOU HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN'T SEE YOU.
8. URTICATING HAIRS. COVERED IN IRRITATING SPIKES. ONCE PER DAY, DEAL 1d6 DAMAGE TO EVERYTHING WITHIN 5' OF YOU.
   
9. PUPPETRY. YOU CAN MAKE A HUMANOID PUPPET OUT OF WEBBING AND HAIR AND DEAD SKIN, AND THEN WAGGLE IT AROUND JUST LIKE A PERSON. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD BUT YOU CAN.
10. SPIDER MAGIC. YOU HAVE ONE MD AND YOU KNOW A RANDOM SPELL FROM A RANDOM LIST (GO TO THE BIG LIST OF GLOG CLASSES AND PICK A RANDOM CASTER).
11. SPIDER JUDO. YOU HAVE A CHI DIE LIKE A MONK AND CAN USE IT TO THROW PEOPLE AROUND.
12. THE FRIENDSHIP OF A FAIRY. THIS IS A REALLY GOOD THING TO EVOLVE, IF YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN CONTACT THE FAIRY FOR A FAVOR. 2-in-6 CHANCE THEY NEED A QUEST FROM YOU.

EEEEEEEEGH UGGGHH EEEEEEEEEGH

SPOOOOOOKY GEAR :

1. Spider Backpack. Holds 6 slots of gear and is designed to be accessed by leg.
2. Spider Saddle. You can carry a person on your back while climbing. Probably requires some move checks on their part to stay mounted.
3. Spider Crossbow and 20 Spider Bolts. How can you possibly use this thing? 2 slots for the crossbow, 1 slot for the bolts.
4. 80' of Spider Rope. Why would you choose this.
5. Spider Crowbar. Gives you +4 on relevant checks, if you can explain to the DM how you are using a crowbar. 1 slot.
6. Set of Spider Watercolors. Includes a big notebook and four times as many brushes as usual. Doesn't make you a better artist, but makes you the best artist you can be. 1 slot.
7. Spider Punching Bag. Basically just a big sack with eight canvas legs, like an awful plush toy. Treat falls as 10' shorter if you land on this. 2 slots.
   
8. Spider Felling Axe. You can cut down a tree with this medium weapon. It's covered in web-patterns for some reason. Again, why would you want to? You're a spider. 1 slot.
9. Cage of Live Squirrels. Metal, two feet to a side. Counts as three rations if you're a monster. 2 slots.
10. Spider Silk Tie. It's normal silk but it's decorated with spiders, and worth 10 gp.
11. Blacksign Toadstools. Roll 1d6 and that ability score is inverted (11 -> 9, 7 -> 13, 10 -> 10). Effects last until you get a night of sleep. Three doses.
12. Pair of Spider Manacles.Six feet long, four cuffs on each chain. 1 slot each.
13. Spider Human Mask. A cunning device that exactly resembles a human face, made out of only spider silk, wooden reinforcements, and a latex mask of a human face.
    
14. Spider Boots. Eight leather boots, which protect from acid and stony surfaces.
15. Spider Passport. Required for entry into the fabled Spider Kingdom. Grants discounts from certain (intensely venomous) wandering spider merchants.
16. Spider Lantern. Constructed in such a way that, when thrown, it bursts into flaming strands which cling to nearby objects and creatures. Casts light as a lantern, 1 slot.
17. Spider Gloves. Identical to #14.
18. Spider Dice. d8s with eye-pips instead of numbers.
    
19. Spider Switchblades. Imagine some awful combination of hypodermic syringe and dental reconstruction device. Unfolds from your fangs to give you reach on your bite attacks. 1 slot.
    
20. A mysterious spider artifact. Roll on the following table:
    
    1. A Wand of Web. Sort-of a let down.
       
    2. A map of an underground maze, with treasure-chambers marked clearly. The key indicates its entrance is two miles below the Holy City.
       
    3. KILL SPIDER AAAH, an ancient greatsword of chardun and adamant. Single-edged blade, scrawled with ancient runes. He likes music and screams in terror when he sees a spider.
       
    4. A book of scripture from another world. Contains three random wizard spells, which can be identified by/sold to any decent wizard.
       
    5. A hand grenade with eight pins. Throwable, deals 4d6 damage to everyone within 40'.
       
    6. Full set of little spiky fishing-weight type things. Attach these to your own ass and turn your silk into a dire flail.
       

No Light, No Warmth (GLOG Expedition, new rules)

    We had a discussion in the OSR Discord channel a few days ago about "dungeon"-crawling through ancient alien ships abandoned in deep space. What would be the dangers? What hazards would you face, not just from wicked architects and hungry monsters but from the unthinking and total hostility of the environment?
    Strange visions seemed to flicker behind my eyes — of the Edge Chronicles (children's fiction about a bizarre society on a cliff-face jutting out over an unmapped abyss), Made in Abyss [a manga (later an anime) about a bizarre society on a cliff-face jutting out over an unmapped abyss], Vambrace: Cold Soul (a terrible Darkest Dungeons ripoff in a frozen world) Touching the Void (a docudrama about a mountaineering disaster).
    Then I woke, with the taste of blood and pumpkin on my lips.

    "A generation ago, the famous Klohr Expedition was formed to descend down the shadowy southern Face of the planet — which is, as everyone knows, an inverted tetrahedron. They made excellent progress, despite the antiquity of their maps, and discovered fascinating ruins from the ages before mankind. Then communication was abruptly lost.
    With the advent of new technologies, and a resurgence of interest in the fabled Losian Relics, the Klohr family has gathered enough funding for a second expedition. They, too, will descend the southern Face. They will recover the bodies (or discover the fates) of Klohr's group, and they will reveal the secrets hiding at the very bottom of the world.
    Main concerns: First, the Face is cold and perfectly dark. It has never seen the Sun. Anything that makes its home in these conditions must be horrible indeed.
    Second, your party is descending down a highly irregular climb. On occasion there will be caves, or slippery paths of ice. Other times you will be free-hanging from ropes and swinging to the underside of inverted cliffs.
    Third, the Klohr family expects results. They are putting their hopes and the last of their money into this. They want maps. Notes. Closure."

    Something like a Veinscrawl or a Darkest Dungeons run. An inverted mountain climb in an extremely hostile environment, while picking up the pieces of a failed expedition.

    A few classes have been prepared. I've done the up the Monkey Herder, who will no doubt be useful while descending the Face of the world. The Mad Queen's Court did a Blue Heretic, a variety of paladin too stupid to get cold. Mihau, an OSR Discord user, prepared the Vertical Ranger. I have recreated the Vertical Ranger in my ruleset for your amusement and edification:

    Your order was founded decades ago to serve on the Barrier, a mile-high and mile-thick wall which runs across the northern end of the continent. At first the only tools they had were grapnels and ropes. But the development of the Pneumatic-Grip Pants opened up new vistas, and many Vertical Rangers accompanied Klohr on the disastrous expedition.
    As a Vertical Ranger, you are proficient in pistols, knives, picks and grenades. You can wear light armor and use shields. If you fall off a cliff with a canister remaining you instantly latch back on, taking 1d6*5 feet worth of fall damage if you swing into a wall (if this distance is higher than the cliff, you hit the ground and then reel back up to the top).

• A: PGP Experience, +2 Move
• B: Swapout, Extra Tweak, +2 Climbing
• C: Horizontal Viability, Extra Tweak, +2 Sneak
• D: Rapid 3D Movement, +2 Climbing

PGP Experience
    You carry a treasure of your order: a pair of PGP. These things are difficult to use - imagine half-a-dozen steamjets strapped to your junk which are activated by flexing specific thigh muscles. They launch grapnels which seize on to pieces of the environment. Even the sheerest surfaces may be accessed through pants.
    A PGP is loaded with two pressurized canisters (on the hips, you freak) which are used to fire a cord and grapnel fifty feet. When you do so, there is a 3-in-6 chance of depleting it. Canisters may be refilled with two hours of pumping. Spares (pulled off of dead Rangers) occupy ⅒ of a slot. Cords are launched instantly and reel in at a rate of one second per five feet.
    Like all surviving PGP yours is a hack-job of tweaks and malfunctions held together with hasty patches and prayer. Roll once on each of the following lists to determine the initial state of your PGP. You might invent new tweaks with the approval of your DM.

Tweaks:

1. Thunder. Careful modification of the vents makes them resemble a trombone. Whenever you use a canister, you can also produce a terrific loud noise which frightens off demons and wild animals.
2. Torque. An optimized motor to chew up cordage. Your cord reels in at a rate of one second per ten feet
3. Dash. Simple modification to put a pep in your step. You can blast a canister backwards from your pants, expending it immediately and doubling your movement speed for about six seconds.
4. Distance. Finding spare cordage wasn't hard (there are plenty of corpses hanging from the walls around here). Splicing two cords together, though, was tricky. Your cords are 80' long.
5. Spare Motors. The things go backwards now, too. You may rappel with your pants. Doesn't even take a canister — you just attach the hook and abseil.
6. Precision Flexing. You may target creatures with your pants. When the pants wind back in, the lighter/more unstable creature is drawn towards the heavier/better situated one. A PGP motor has 24 Strength.

Malfunctions:

1. Chafing. The damn things don't fit right. Not surprising really, since you probably pulled them off a corpse. Whenever a canister is expended you take 1 damage, which can never reduce you below 0 HP.
2. Whistling Sheaves. The pulleys won't stay on-track. They hiss noticeably whenever the cords are reeled in, which is both annoying and unstealthy.
3. Overheating. Some elements or bearings are causing undue friction, and you don't know which. When you use your pants they begin to overheat, and need thirty minutes to cool down. If you continue to use them there is a cumulative 1-in-6 chance of mechanical failure. These mechanical failures take two hours to repair.
4. Bad Rings. The company that makes them went out of business forty years ago. Your canisters deplete on a 4-in-6.
5. Misalignment. The entire damned frame has shifted around, somehow. It takes ten minutes to swap out a spare canister
6. Hair Trigger. When you take damage, roll a d6. If the result is under the damage taken, your legs twitch and your grapnel fires in a random direction.

Swapout
    Though the company that makes the PGP went out of business years ago, and its scientists all boarded the same ship and were drowned at sea, and its CEO was executed for tax fraud, and the whole thing was covered up by the government... sorry, getting sidetracked. There are plenty of dead Vertical Rangers hanging splattered against a wall somewhere. With a few spare parts and four hours of fiddling, you can reroll a malfunction or tweak. You might even discover new malfunctions on someone else's PGP rig. Only you have the skill to alter these pants safely.

Horizontal Viability
    You've fully mastered the use of your PGP with your feet on the ground. You can triple the length or height of a jump by using a canister. While attached by your pants to a wall, you may walk and run as if it were solid ground.

Rapid 3D Movement
   You've fully mastered the use of your PGP while flying through the air. While moving around at cord-length, ranged attacks only hit you on a critical. You may fully expend a canister to move to any point within the radius of your cords. Remember the risk of fall damage from swinging into walls. The closest humanity has ever come to flight will, of course, be the death of you.

    The corpses of Vertical Rangers are scattered across the Face of the world. Some serve as landmarks.

    Xenophon of Athens prepared some GLOG-compatible climbing rules, and I really like them.

G20 sheet, with new CLBG stat (may be added to various rolls)

    Really want to run a weird reverse-Everest climb. Very excited by the prospect. Incensed with thought. Here's some weird NPCs you might meet on the way.

• Arcus, Purple Mask Cleric. 8 HP, 8 Morale, poor climber. Knows the spells Guide Eyes and Literal Translation. Her scrying spells have started to show only one scene: a human form in a realm of absolute darkness, pinned to a wall, encrusted with black ice — yet still moving. She thinks this is a scene from the Face, and if she can find it she will once more be able to spy on her rivals.
• Callaghan, Sword-Shepherd, 10 HP, 9 Morale, moderate climber. He is a student of the Damask style, and he has as many knives as he can carry. He carries GOLDEN CARTULARY CITY, a sword which sings to itself in a language no scholar recognizes. Perhaps revelations wait for him on the Face?
• Minar, Tactician. 4 HP, 11 Morale, poor climber. Earned glory on the battlefield decades ago and knew Klohr personally. The Face calls to him in his dotage; he seeks a last victory before he joins his old friends in death.
• Hull, pirate. 10 HP, 7 morale, climbs like a monkey. Was offered a choice: join the expedition and share rigging/ropes expertise, or be tied to an anchor and dropped into the middle of the sea. Deeply resentful. Fights with a hook. 
• Audubon, Black Mask Cleric. 8 HP, 9 Morale, moderate climber. Knows the spells Hold Fast and Glorious Halo. He has heard that the last expedition ended in disaster, and the Unburied bodies of the explorers may still wander the frozen Face. Their souls will not be freed until their bodies are dispatched
• Ggth, leper. 15 HP, ?? morale, poor climber. Wrapped head to toe in gory bandages. Won't stay behind even though you tell them (?) to go away. Apparently under the impression there's something they want on the Face.

   

    More will likely be added to this post over the next few days. Stay tuned! Talk to me on Discord! I don't have many friends!

Like Herding Monkeys (GLOG Class: Can't really categorize this one either)

    What drives a man to drive the monkeys? What happened to you, and made you like this? The mind quails. What horrors you have experienced are yours alone to bear. Yours... and the monkeys.

Source: I have no idea. (Update: it's a parody of Laocoon and his sons)

Class: Monkey Herder

    You are the drill-sergeant of a troop, the ring-master of a circus, the chieftain of a tribe. You lead a group of primates. You are not necessarily the leader of the group of primates. The real world is a complicated place, my friend.
    You can wear light and medium armor, and you never fumble while using halfpikes, shortswords and shortbows. You can use shields effectively. Monkeys have their own abilities.
    The strange abilities of the Monkey Herder are powered by Monkey Drugs. These MD represent your limited supply of banana liqueur, chewing tobacco, cocaine and other vices. Each MD takes up a ⅓ slot in your inventory. Treat them as d6 depleting dice. Don't run out.

Skills: 1. Carpentry 2. Battlefield tactics 3. Substance tolerance.

Starting Equipment: a set of tattered business attire (as unarmored but +1 reaction), a medium szabla, three doses of MD and one piece of Circus Gear of your choice.

• A Monkey Drugs, Monkey Troop, +2 Move.
• B Monkey Recruiting Policy, +2 HP.
• C Monkey Lieutenant, +2 Move.
• D Ape Monkeys.

Monkey Drugs
    The monkeys tolerate your leadership because monkeys are not allowed to go into bars. You're like a big brother who buys them things. Any sort of intoxicant or stimulant might be MD; monkeys require them as motivators, but humans can consume them (roll for usage) as well to gain 2 HP or another save against mind-altering effects. MD cost 10 gp a dose in town, but you may also spend an hour converting reagents (monster parts, radioactive material, funny-looking mushrooms) into some unpleasant bodge.
    When a human consumes your MD, they save or experience an unpleasant side effect. Roll randomly or pick a relevant one:

Real Drugs

1. Drunk. Can fumble with weapons you are proficient with. Fumble and critical range increased by 1. Lasts an hour.
2. Dizzied. Movement speed is halved and take a -4 penalty to ranged attacks. Lasts ten minutes.
3. Nauseous. Cannot stomach lunch or any further consumption of MD. Lasts the rest of the day.
4. High. Automatically fail saves against Charm and Fear. Further doses just make you more high. Lasts an hour.
5. Cheered. Things are looking up! Surprised by every attack until the end of the day.
6. Ruthful. Why did you come here? Why couldn't you have stayed at home and been a carpenter like your dad? You need a good cry, and can't do anything too useful for ten minutes.

Unpleasant Bodge

1. Cursed. You really shouldn't have smoked that. Your fumble range increases by 1 until a cleric removes the curse.
2. Delusional. You are someone else. DM's pick. Lasts until the DM says so, or you go to bed.
3. Tripping the Fuck Out. Aaa! Aaaaaa! Aaaaaaaaa! You are under spiders, while all your friends . Thunder and great blue triangles. Scream your head off for ten minutes, unable to do anything too useful.
4. On Fire. Catch from the inside. You are on fire.
5. Wrothful. Makes you irritable and itchy. For the rest of the day, you enter rage at the beginning of combat.
6. Totally Numb. Almost pleasant, really. You are immune to agony effects and no longer know your HP total. If you don't see an attack hit you, you don't know you took damage at all. Lasts until the end of the day.

    As an experienced monkey drugs user, you roll side effects twice and choose the one you want. Monkeys never experience side effects. Monkeys have definitely smoked frogs before.

Monkey Troop
    You have a troop of monkeys who follow you around. They are loyal, as monkeys go, but are primarily in it for the drugs. Every day in which you are accompanied by at least one monkey, roll usage on your MD. Monkeys can climb better than the best human, carry 3 slots of inventory and a torch, and are fairly trustworthy when retrieving and delivering objects which are not drugs. They probably have 6 HP, armor as leather, and a 1d6 unarmed attack.
    They may attempt to communicate through sign language, but monkeys cannot speak nor do they fully understand human language. Monkeys do not set watches and do not understand what guard duty is. Their joints do not allow them to use bows or any weapon much larger than a banana. Most monkeys will only fight in self-defense unless bribed to join a fight with MD.
    You start play with a pair of monkeys (there's a half dozen below this paragraph, and a random generator here). You may recruit more as you find them, after negotiating appropriate pay.

d6 Monkey Friends:

Source: Wikimedia. Puny Bert the talapoin. She has a real eye for valuables and is totally silent. You can use an MD to order her to try and pick a lock or a pocket.

Wikimedia. King Ansegisel the mandrill. He has a quiet majesty about him. Two attacks per round. You can use an MD to order him to carry an injured person on his back for a day.

Wikimedia. Jun Mao the whitehanded gibbon. Intensely religious. She hoots prayers and wards off the Eye when he smells evil. You can use an MD to have her perform a burial service.

Wikimedia. Howard the panin. He knows how to use a sword. Use an MD to order him to duel an opponent in honorable single combat.

Wikimedia. Grendela the cotton-top tamarind. Journeys out of regret for her past sins. Knows basic first aid, and you can use an MD to have her treat someone for 1d6 healing once a day.

Wikimedia. Vitruvius the aye-aye. Can see in the dark, and can read and write the Losian language. You can use an MD to have him memorize and perfectly reproduce a page of text.

Monkey Job Application
    Monkeys can smell hiring opportunities for literally thousands of miles. No matter where you are, if you want to hire a monkey intern one will appear within 24 hours. An intern carries 6 slots and is always willing to fight. These monkeys prioritize their own safety over everything else, and are only in it for the drugs. Use your MD an extra time each morning for every intern currently following you. If there are ever more interns in the party than humans, they will beat you unconscious and run off with all your drugs.

Monkey Lieutenant
    Designate a loyal monkey to be your right-hand primate. They will use their special abilities without bribes, and stay with you through drugless periods (they trust you to square once you're back in the plush). Lieutenants count as humans when calculating how many monkey interns you can safely control.

Ape Monkeys
    You've been around these monkeys for so long you've begun to imitate them. You don't suffer MD side effects. Whenever you want, you may become a first-level Monkey Dad (but like, a cool dad). You lose your interns and your ability to hire them, but you keep your troop, drugs, and all skills and bonuses.

Circus Gear

1. Whip. As a light weapon with extra reach, hitting you for 1 damage on a fumble. You can use this to control the monkeys. ⅓ slot.


2. Cat-o-nine-tails. A light weapon which cannot be thrown. Inflicts bleed on a critical hit. The monkeys might use this to control you. ⅓ slot.


3. Baton. A fine piece of carpentry tipped with gold. As a light weapon. ⅓ slot.


4. Starter pistol. A light ranged weapon, reloaded with shells (start with 6). 1 slot.


5. Elaborate Set of Facepaint. Lets you age or de-age yourself, or look like a clown. 1 slot.


6. Rope Net. Allows grapple checks at a distance. Dropping on to one reduces fall damage. 1 slot.


7. Grappling Hook and 50' of rope. 1 slot each.
   


8. 50' of Chain. 2 slots.
   


9. Megaphone. Makes your voice loud, or alternately lets you hear through thin walls. ⅓ slot.


10. Religious Texts. Complicated theological text from a heresy of your choice. ⅓ slot.


11. Costume Gems. Good enough to fool an expert. 10 gp worth.


12. Chrism. Blessed in the name of the Lord of the Circus. Predators will not attack someone anointed with this balm. Three doses, lasts a full day.


13. Mallow Peanuts. Tastes like neither marshmallow, nor peanuts, but bananas. They are disgusting and you have nine rations worth. 3 slots.


14. 50' of Tightwire. Can't be climbed, but is well-suited for walking across. 1 slot.


15. A large tophat and three rabbits. The rabbits are worth three rations. Altogether, 1 slot.


16. Set of three hollow metal hoops. Can be filled with oil and lit as a lamp. 1 slot each


17. Heavy Sandbag. Weighs as much as a human.


18. Fake Barbell. Marked with "200 LBS" on both spherical, hollow weights. Can be used as a light weapon and floats on water. 1 slot.


19. Fake Beard. Keeps your face warm, and is very convincing.


20. An oddity. Roll on the following table:
    
    
    1. A button whirligig. Play with it in your hands while looking at someone to make them see the world upside-down. 
    2. An annatto-colored ring. Exudes a strong, pleasant scent. Somewhere in the world, someone is wearing a saffron-colored ring, and you know the exact direction and distance.
    3. A spiderweb scarf. While you are actively strangling yourself, your feet cling to any surface and cannot be shifted.
    4. A lantern pumpkin. Will not rot. Can be communed with. ⅓ slot.
    5. A packet of fairy matches. Their light is steady, and they catch even in the wind. Their fire burns aggressively but with no warmth. Ten matches.
    6. An aprical lense. Like a monocle with cheery yellow glass. Snow and ice are invisible when viewed through it.